Eli’s words turned out to be prophetic. By the time they finished at the Darbys’ house, Wendell had called them to report three more people had phoned him looking for emergency medical care. They all had mild cuts and bruises, except for one man who sustained minor burns trying to start a malfunctioning generator. Eli patched him up as best he could but ordered him to the hospital as soon as he could make it there.
They made house calls at first, but as they started to receive reports that the roads were slowly being cleared throughout the morning, he and Melissa were finally able to retreat to the clinic, sending out word to the real dispatchers and the paramedics that they would stay open to take some of the more mild emergencies where a trip to the hospital wasn’t necessarily warranted.
She loved seeing Eli in action during a crisis. Over the last three weeks during routine office visits, she had observed that he was truly a wonderful doctor, one who spent as much time as each patient needed, dispensing advice and compassion.
Observing him during an emergency situation was something completely different. He was focused, concise, with an uncanny ability to take care of whatever situation walked through the door with skill and care.
No wonder he was so passionate about his military career. Eli was a man who truly thrived under pressure.
She couldn’t expect someone with a gift like that to be content as a family physician in a small practice.
The realization depressed her, though she was not sure why. Maybe she had been holding out some slim hope that Eli might be able to find a place to belong here on the beautiful Oregon Coast where he had been raised, exactly as she had over the last seven months.
Around noon, she closed the outside doors after their last patient, a tearful eight-year-old girl who had stepped on a nail while helping her family clean up debris. When the family drove away, no cars were left in the parking lot. She locked the doors and turned the Open sign to Closed.
At last report, the dispatchers assured them all the roads were clear now along the coast and people in need could make it to the emergency room or the urgent-care clinics in Seaside or Astoria, if necessary.
“Good work,” Eli said when she walked back. “You’ve been amazing today. An army medic trained in battlefield emergency care couldn’t have done better.”
His admiring words and expression left her flustered and not sure how to respond. “You were the one doing all the care. I’ve only been providing support.”
“That’s completely not true and you know it. Every time I needed something, you were right there with it before I had to ask, and you are amazing at calming down every panicked mother or crying child.”
“We make a good team.” For another week, anyway. The thought made her chest ache.
“Do you have any idea of how necessary you are to my father’s practice? Why do you think I’ve tried so hard to...” He bit off his words, leaving her intensely curious about what he intended to say.
“Why you’ve tried so hard to what?” She had to ask.
His smile appeared forced. “Uh, make sure you know exactly how much you’re appreciated.”
She had a feeling that wasn’t what he’d almost said at all, but he didn’t appear inclined to add anything more.
“I was going to say the same to you,” she said. “It’s not every day you deliver a baby, sew thirty-six stitches in five different patients and give eight tetanus shots, all before noon.”
He smiled. “All in all, a good morning. I’m glad we could help.”
“If you hadn’t been here, I’m not sure what people in Cannon Beach would have done.”
“My dad is not the only doctor in town. Someone else would have stepped up.”
Wendell might not be the only doctor, but he was one of the most beloved.
Eli was well on his way to matching his father’s popularity. Everyone in town loved Eli, after he had been here only three weeks to fill in for his father.
Especially her.
She pushed the thought aside. Not now. She couldn’t think about her impending heartache. He was leaving in a week, and somehow she was going to have to figure out how to go on without that slow, gorgeous smile in her life.
She had to say at least a little of what was on her mind. It seemed vitally important that she let him know what she had been thinking all morning as she watched him work.
“You’re an amazing doctor, Eli. You make a great family physician in the proud tradition of your father, but today, working together in an emergency situation with you, showed me you’re doing exactly what you need to be doing for the army. You obviously thrive in stressful situations. You care passionately about what you’re doing and you’re good at it—exactly the sort of person who can make a much-needed difference in the world.”
He looked touched, his eyes warm, and he opened his mouth to answer, but his cell phone rang before he could say anything. He gave the phone a frustrated look that shifted to one of concern when he saw the caller ID.
“I need to get that. Looks like it’s the Seaside hospital, probably the attending physician at the women’s center, calling about Julia and Miri.”
“While you talk to the Attending, I’ll go straighten up the exam rooms we used today so they’re ready for Monday.”
She was just finishing up when Eli appeared in the doorway, again looking dark and lean and so gorgeous it made her catch her breath.
“Mom and baby are doing well,” he reported. “I figured you’d want to know.”
“Yes. I was going to call her later. I appreciate the update.”
“Everyone is healthy. The attending physician suggests keeping them overnight, but it sounds like Julia is eager to be home with their other children. I’ll go check things out, and if all appears okay she might be released by tonight.”
“She’ll be happy about that.”
He leaned against the door frame and scratched his cheek. “Better yet, I’ll pick up my dad and take him with me to do the honors. He’ll want to see the baby and check on Julia himself.”
Her heart melted at his thoughtfulness, both on his father’s behalf and on Julia’s, and she fell in love with him all over again.
“You are a good man, Eli Sanderson.”
He made a face. “Why? Because I’m going to take my dad with me to the hospital to check on a patient?”
“Because you know how important it is for him to make sure she’s all right and also how much it will set Julia’s mind at ease to have him there.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“It is to me, just as it will be for Julia and your dad.”
She smiled at him, and he gazed at her for a long moment, then growled something she couldn’t hear and lowered his mouth to hers.
The fierce kiss came out of the blue and was the last thing she expected him to do, yet somehow was exactly what she needed.
His mouth was hard and intense on hers, searching and demanding at the same time. She answered him kiss for kiss, taste for taste. Heat raced through her and she wrapped her arms around him, but the hunger contained something else, something deeper.
This was goodbye.
He was leaving in a week, and this likely would be the last chance she would have to hold him like this before he left. She tightened her arms, trying to burn the taste and the feel and the smell of him into her mind. When he was gone, back doing the work he loved, and she was alone here in Cannon Beach, at least she would have these slices of memories to comfort her.
She tried to pour everything in her heart into the kiss. All her love and admiration and sadness, wrapped together and delivered on a breathless sigh. She had no idea how long they stayed locked together there in the doorway. She only knew the emotions in the kiss would leave her forever changed.
She would have stayed forever, but she was aware, always aware, that someone else needed him, too.
After long, heady moments, she finally pulled her mouth away and stepped back, her breathing ragged and her face flaming. Could he sense in her kiss all the love she couldn’t say?
She looked away, hoping desperately that she hadn’t revealed entirely too much by that kiss.
“Melissa.”
His voice sounded raw, breathless. She could feel his searching gaze on her and forced herself to offer back a bland smile. “You should probably go check out Julia and Miri. The Garretts will be waiting for you.”
“I... Yes.”
She didn’t want him to offer any explanations or apologies or, worse, ask any questions. Any conversation between them and she was afraid she would burst into tears she couldn’t explain.
“I’ll see you later. Drive carefully.”
With that, she turned around and hurried out of the room, wishing with all her heart that things could be different between them.
* * *
Though she was tired down to her bones, Melissa spent the afternoon working with Sonia to clean up the battered gardens at Brambleberry House. Rosa was busy doing the same at the gift store in town, which had suffered some water damage from a roof leak.
The gardens looked sad, with broken limbs, crushed flowers, scattered leaves.
She felt a little like the landscaping around the house—damaged, scarred. She had to hope she could be like a few of the shrubs around the house, which had been bent by the storm but were already beginning to straighten again.
“I don’t think we can save this one.” Sonia sat before one of the brambleberry bushes, her lovely, perfect features creased with a grief that seemed out of proportion to a little storm damage.
“Are you sure we can’t salvage some of the canes?”
“They won’t be the same. I’m not sure they’ll be able to produce much fruit at all.”
She seemed devastated by the loss. Maybe she had an extreme fondness for that particular brambleberry bush, or maybe her grief was for something else entirely.
Melissa tried to choose her words carefully. “You know, my dad used to say that not everything that’s broken is worthless. It might not ever be what it was, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be something else. Maybe something even better.”
She wasn’t sure if she had helped or made things worse. Sonia gave her a long look, nodded slowly, then went back to work.
“That’s all we can do tonight,” Sonia said sometime later. “It’s going to be dark soon. You look very tired. You need to rest.”
Her exhaustion had deepened, and she thought she might fall asleep right here in the cool, storm-battered garden.
“I’ll just stay with Fiona for a moment, then we’ll come inside.”
Sonia gave her a long look and she could see the concern on her friend’s features. She didn’t pry, though. One of the best things about Sonia was her ability to let other people keep their own secrets, too. After a moment, the other woman twisted her mouth into what other people might consider a smile and headed into the house.
Melissa sat for a few moments more, heart aching. She needed to go inside but couldn’t seem to find the energy to do it.
She wanted her daughter here. A Skye hug always went a long way toward healing her soul from life’s inevitable disappointments. Her daughter would be home the next day. They would have plenty of time for hugs then.
She was just about to head into the house when Fiona suddenly turned around and raced for the edge of the garden.
What on earth?
“Fiona,” she called. “Come on, girl. Home.”
The dog ignored her, headed with single-minded purpose in the other direction. There was probably some poor mole who had been foolish enough to set up shop in the gardens the Irish setter considered her own.
Fiona didn’t stop when she reached the beach access gate. To Melissa’s astonishment, she nudged open the latch and raced through, leaving her little choice but to chase after the dog.
She was too tired for this, but Fiona didn’t seem to care about that.
Exasperated, Melissa followed the dog onto the beach. “Come on, Fi. Here girl,” she called, then her voice faltered.
Fiona wasn’t alone. She stood on the sand not far from the house, nose to nose with another dog. A little black schnauzer, whose leash was currently held by the one man she didn’t feel strong enough to face again right now.
Her heart seemed to stutter, and she wanted to slip back through the gate and hurry into the house.
After that emotional kiss earlier when she had bared everything in her heart, she didn’t want to face him right now...or ever again, if she could arrange it.
But he was here and she had no choice. She forced herself to move toward him. “Sorry. She got out somehow. Come on, Fiona. Inside.”
The dog showed no sign of obeying her, and Melissa sighed, taking another step toward him and the two dogs.
“Julia and Will send their love and gratitude,” he said when she was an arm’s length away.
Despite her discomfort, she couldn’t help a smile at that. “How is Julia? I wanted to go visit but thought I would give her a day or two to be settled at home.”
“She’s good. Glowing.”
That made her smile again. “And baby Miri?”
“Beautiful. I held her for a good fifteen minutes while the infant unit nurses were giving me their report and she slept the whole time. She obviously likes me.”
Why wouldn’t she? The man was irresistible. Her heart ached when she pictured him in a hospital nursery, holding a tiny baby who shared the same name as someone dear to him, someone he had lost.
She was suddenly deeply grateful she would have the chance to watch this Miri grow up. She would be here to see her learn to walk, to ride a bike, to go on dates. Melissa, at least, wasn’t going anywhere.
“Maybe Julia can keep in touch with you after you’re back on active duty and send you pictures of her.”
He was quiet, his hands on Max’s leash. “That would be great, except I’m not going back on active duty.”
She stared at him in the gathering twilight. “You’re...what?”
He returned her shocked look with an impassive one she couldn’t read. “I called my commanding officer on my way back from the hospital and told her I wouldn’t be signing up for another tour.”
“But...but why? I thought you loved what you do in the military. You were doing important work. Necessary work.”
“I am. I was. But today when we were delivering Miri, I realized something.”
He gazed toward the ocean and the dramatic rock formations offshore, his features in shadow.
“There is more than one way to make a difference in the world,” he said slowly. “Sometimes that involves focusing on helping out those in critical situations. That’s a good and honorable thing to do, and I will always be grateful I had the experiences and learned the lessons I did.”
He glanced back at her, blue eyes glittering in the fading light. “I’m glad I had the chance to serve. I’m a better doctor and a better person for it. But I have no obligation to do it forever. Even Justine was never planning to serve for the rest of her life. She was making plans for after she left Doctors Without Borders. She was going to adopt Miri and take her back to France with her.”
“Yes. That’s what you said.”
“If she could make plans for a different future someday, why can’t I?”
“What kind of future?” Her heart now seemed to be racing in double time as she tried to absorb this shocking information.
“I want to be home. I want to help my neighbors and be around when my dad needs me and watch Miri and any other babies I deliver grow up and have babies of their own.”
“You’re leaving the army.” She couldn’t seem to process it even after his explanation.
He shrugged. “I’m leaving active duty. I’ll stay in the reserves. If my country needs me, I may end up being called up in emergencies. I’m more than willing to do that on a temporary basis, but I want something else. I want to go into practice with my dad. Sanderson and Sanderson. Has a nice ring, don’t you think?”
Oh, that would make Wendell happy beyond words. “Your dad will be thrilled.”
“He will. With me here to share the burden, who knows? He might even slow down and little and start to enjoy life outside of medicine.”
She wasn’t sure that would happen, but she hoped so for his father’s sake.
As she processed the news, the magnitude of what he was telling her began to soak through her shock. He was staying in Cannon Beach. Staying at the clinic where she worked. That would only mean one thing.
She would have no choice.
“That’s great. I’m happy for you. You’ll be gr-great.”
Tears began to burn behind her eyes, and she had to hope he couldn’t see them in the dusky light.
Unfortunately, she forgot how sharp-eyed the man could be. His gaze narrowed and he watched her with an intensity she couldn’t escape.
“What’s wrong? I was hoping for a...different reaction.”
“I’m happy for you. I really am. This is exactly what your father would have wanted.”
“So why do you look like I just started clear-cutting the Brambleberry House gardens?”
She wanted to come up with something clever that would explain the tears she was afraid he had seen, but she was too tired to tell him anything but the truth.
“I love working at your dad’s practice,” she said softly. “But if you’re coming home for good, I’m afraid I’ll have to quit.”
His mouth sagged. “Quit? Why the hell would you do that?”
She had to tell him, especially now that she’d started. The words caught in her throat, but she forced them out.
“I can’t work for you, Eli. I can’t. Not when I...” She faltered, losing her nerve.
He looked thunderstruck, as if she’d just thrown a handful of sand in his eyes. “When you what?”
She closed her eyes, mortified to her soul that she’d said anything at all. She should have just let the dust settle for a week or so and then quietly tendered her resignation.
“Are you really going to make me say it? Fine. I’ll say it, then. I can’t work for you when I have...have feelings for you.”
This was the most difficult conversation she’d ever had. She wanted to find a hole and let Fiona and Max bury her in it like a leftover soup bone.
“These last two weeks have been torture,” she finally admitted, “trying to keep things on a professional level when my heart wants so much more. I’m sorry. I can’t do it. I’m not strong enough. I’ll have to go somewhere else to work. I’m sure I can find another job somewhere else along the coast. I only hope your dad will be able to give me a good reference.”
He didn’t say anything for a full minute, his expression filled with shock and something else, something she couldn’t identify.
“Say something,” she finally couldn’t help but say.
When he continued to stare at her, she grabbed Fiona’s collar and turned to head to the house, wanting only to escape.
“Melissa. Stop. Please!”
Fiona plopped her hindquarters in the sand, refusing to move other step, while a warm, rose-scented breeze seemed to eddy around them.
She couldn’t face him. Humiliated and miserable, she stood there outside the beach gate, not knowing what to do.
She thought she knew what love was. She had been married for five years, for heaven’s sake. But everything she understood before seemed wholly insignificant compared to this vast ache of emotion coiling through her.
“Melissa.”
He tugged her around to face him, and she finally slowly lifted her gaze to his. The emotions blazing there made her catch her breath. Her pulse in her ears seemed louder than the surf.
“I want to stay in Cannon Beach for dozens of reasons,” he said, his voice low and intense. “And almost every single one of them is because of you.”
She gazed at his strong, lean features, everything inside her tuned to this moment.
“I came back to town broken,” he went on gruffly. “I didn’t want to admit it to myself or anyone else, but something inside my head and heart shattered when Miri and Justine died. I wouldn’t say it was post-traumatic stress disorder, but the whole world seemed empty, joyless. Wrong.”
He smiled a little and reached for her hand. His skin was warm against hers, and she shivered at the contrast, wanting to lean into him but afraid to move.
“And then I came back to town and met up with the girl I had the biggest crush on when I was eighteen and she was just fifteen, and I started to heal.”
“You did not have a crush on me.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Do you remember that time we danced together at the prom? Your boyfriend tried to beat me up later, but I didn’t care. I would have done it all over again. It was all worth it, for the few moments I got to hold you in my arms.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? Back then or now?”
“You were way out of my league back then. You still are. I know I’ll never be good enough for you, but that doesn’t seem to matter anymore. The only thing that matters is that I’m in love with you and want the chance to show you I can make you happy.”
Joy exploded through her, fierce and bright and perfect. “You love me.”
“I think I’ve loved you a little since we were in high school together. But when I came back to Cannon Beach and met you again—the strong, amazing, compassionate woman you’ve become—I fell in love all over again.”
Warmth flowed over her, healing and blissful. He loved her. She would never get tired of those words.
She reached up on tiptoe and kissed him, and this time when his mouth met hers there were no reservations between them, no uneasiness or worry or doubts.
Only love.
He kissed her for a long time, until the sun had almost slipped into the ocean. She would never grow tired of his kisses, either.
“I love you, Elias Sanderson. I’m so in love with you, I’ve barely been able to function around you. I’m amazed I could do my job, I was so busy trying to hide my feelings about you.”
“Whatever you did worked. I had no idea.”
She wanted to laugh and dance barefoot in the sand and fly a hundred kites with hearts all over them. Joy soared through her, wild and fierce and perfect.
He wouldn’t be returning to harm’s way. He would be here in Cannon Beach with her where they could walk the dogs at sunset and teach Skye how to play billiards and listen to music at The Haystacks on Saturday nights.
They could work together, helping the neighbors and friends they cared about.
Storms would come. Tree limbs would fall and brambleberry bushes would be broken and torn. But they would get through it all together.
He kissed her, and that future seemed sweet and full of incalculable promise.
“I’m not that young, perky cheerleader anymore,” she eventually felt compelled to remind him when his hands started to wander.
“I know,” he murmured against her mouth. “You’re so much more than that now. A loving mother, a compassionate nurse, a loyal friend. And the woman who has my heart.”
She could live with that.
She smiled and kissed him as a warm, rose-scented breeze danced around them like an embrace.