Chapter Ten
“You’ve had a terrible night, and for that I am sorry.” Ricard’s deep, accented voice was soft and gentle. Something about it made Jessie relax whenever he spoke to her. “It is probably best for you to get some rest.”
Jessie couldn’t argue with him. Exhaustion caused every part of her body to ache, from her muscles to her mind. She needed sleep. A night of resting wouldn’t change what happened, but it might help her to be able to make sense of what lay ahead.
“I know you are worried about my behavior earlier and my…” Ricard scrubbed his hand through his hair. “Again, I apologize. I did not intend to behave like a caveman.”
Jessie smiled at his boyish display of embarrassment. His cheeks were tinged a slight pink, and she noted the way he struggled to make eye contact.
“Please, rest in my home. I have a guest room, and you’re welcome to stay there with my complete word you will remain unmolested. I will stay in the lab.”
“Unmolested?” She hadn’t considered his behavior in such terms.
“Absolutely. You have my word.” This time he looked directly at her. “I will never do anything to harm you.”
Jessie chuckled. “It’s just an odd way of saying you won’t do anything to me. Stop panicking. I can tell you’re being truthful. Lead the way.” She motioned toward the door, wanting to drop into a bed before the conversation launched into a scientific dissertation on vampire attraction.
Without a word Ricard led her back through the first door, whistling and waiting for Canella to follow before closing the lab door and opening the one leading to his home.
Twenty minutes later, freshly showered and wearing one of Ricard’s shirts, Jessie collapsed into the bed in his guest room. She barely had time to pull the blanket up over her body before falling asleep.
Waking in a darkened strange room would generally have been shocking. But today she awakened aware of where she was, why she was there, and what had occurred that landed her in this place.
Lying in bed, she thought of Joshua and the last thing he said to her about Dr. Tyrone and Mr. Rollins and how they’d never have to worry about food again, how he was no longer sick, but would live forever. The sound of him begging her for her blood, and the wretched noise he made when he vomited before dying in her arms all came crashing back.
Her world had literally ended. Her life as she had lived it all these years was changed forever, never to be the same. All that she loved, every person had been stolen from her.
Now she considered how Panthera had been in her life from the beginning, involved in every aspect. The lab had employed her parents, put food on her family’s table, and tricked her and Joshua into believing they were helping him.
Mr. Rollins was a sick liar who prayed on her fears and hopes. He must have known he wasn’t helping Joshua. As plain as she could see Joshua growing sicker, he must have known what was really happening to him.
In her heart she knew Raymond Tyrone, the old man who pretended to be so kind to the Stevens family was behind their demise. He pulled all the strings from behind the safety of Panthera.
“Rollins is just a low-level henchman doing his boss’s work,” she whispered into the dark. “Dr. Tyrone. That bastard. I hope he died in agony.”
In the end they had taken everyone she loved and left her with no one.
“I want Rollins to pay, too,” she growled. “I want them both dead.”
If it was the last thing she did, Jessica Stevens would find a way to kill Mr. Rollins and to stop Panthera Laboratories once and for all.
Gentle tapping at the door preceded Ricard’s voice. “Jessica, are you all right?”
The words caressed her skin as though probing for an injury or some point of pain. The sensation of being cared for enveloped her body, delving right into her being.
“Fine.” She breathed the word and caught her breath against a beautiful wave of love.
The door opened a few inches. A sliver of light from the outer room sliced through the darkness and was quickly cut off by the imposing shadow of Ricard’s body. “I asked Alice to bring clothes for you.” He stepped into the room and placed something on the dresser by the door. “When you’re ready, there’s food in the kitchen. I’ll be in the lab, if you’d like to join me.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He stepped out of the room and the door began to close.
“Ricard.”
“It’s eight in the evening,” he said.
“How did you…” She sat up, pulling the covers up to her neck. “You said you weren’t a mind reader.”
“And I am not. However, your desire to know was great enough for me to guess. My apologies.” The door closed.
Jessie listened as several sets of dog toenails clicked on the floor outside the room. Then the door to the lab opened, Ricard’s muffled voice said something, and then vanished after the click of the knob.
The strange way he knew her wants or needs perplexed and entertained Jessie. There was not one thing about this man that frightened her. And that fact made no sense.
Everything about him should be terrifying, yet not a damn thing was. At least not when it came to her. She sensed an underlying danger in him. It was as though a cunning and masterful animal waited to pounce. But as sure as she knew a vampire was deadly, she knew Ricard would never hurt her.
Wasting no time Jessie dressed and went to the kitchen. It occurred to her she hadn’t eaten in more than twenty-four hours. To her surprise the pantry was fully stocked and an omelet sat waiting in a pan along with potatoes. Cranberry juice had been poured and coffee waited in the pot.
Canella zipped over to a bowl of food on the floor and ate with the gusto of a big dog.
“Wow. We are on the same page.” Jessie devoured breakfast, only stopping to toast a bagel.
Thinking about the mystique of calm and analyzing her body’s involuntary reaction to Ricard sent internal alarms on edge. A small piece of her wanted to run, but her heart and soul told her to stay.
The horrendous memories of what had transpired the previous evening from the gruesome details of Joshua’s death to the newfound friendship with Alice combined with the intense feelings this strange man stirred within her. She’d only met Ricard hours before and hardly new a thing about him, yet there was a familiarity about him she could not explain, nor could she fear it.
This recognition that she was having no reaction to a situation that should provoke extreme terror worried her. She wondered if she were not having some sort of psychological episode, a break from reality.
“There’s only one way to get answers to what’s happening. Let’s go.” With Canella on her heels, she entered the lab to find Ricard working on some long and complicated equation at a white board.
“Did you like the eggs?” He turned, and Jessie did a double take.
He wore dark rimmed glasses, a button down shirt with the sleeves cuffed a couple times, and black pants. His face was shaved smooth, giving a clear view of his strong jawline. He looked so damn smart and sexy she couldn’t look away. He was absolutely gorgeous.
“Is that a yes or a no?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
He smiled. “My first omelet. I was worried, but I can read and follow directions. To be honest I picked the simplest recipe.”
“Why are you wearing glasses?”
“You don’t like them?” He removed them.
“No. I mean yes, but I didn’t think vampires had vision issues.”
“We don’t, but…” He scratched his head. “This is odd.” He put the glasses on again. “I had bad eyesight as a human. Wearing these makes me feel human again. That probably sounds foolish.”
“No.” Jessie’s heart melted. The idea Ricard strove to feel human again was so sweet she nearly went to hug him. Instead, she reminded herself they’d only just met.
“To remain in touch with one’s human side is, for me at least, imperative. I must remember to feel all the wonders and emotions of my life in order to stay attuned and to never lose my connection with humanity.”
“Do all vampires believe this?”
“I do not know. The Guard is made of vampires who have sworn an allegiance to protect humanity. Everything we do, we do with the intent to keep Central City safe.” He placed the marker on the lip of the white board. “It helps to have you nearby. Because of you, I want to be a better man. I want nothing more than to do what is right and good for us, for you.”
Here she sat with a strange vampire who espoused his undying devotion to her. That alone should send any woman screaming from a room.
But it did not. Instead her body relaxed. Until that moment she had not realized how tense her shoulders were or that she was clenching her teeth. Deep inside something released. Her shoulders lowered. She wiggled her jaw, and the throbbing that had become a dull, ever-present background pain shooting up to her temple, vanished.
Jessie could not explain the lack of logical response to this vampire other than to blame it on him and his condition.
“Is it a vampire skill, using your voice like?” she asked, shaking off the effects and stealing herself against another wave of relaxation.
“I don’t understand the question. Using my voice like what?” The softness faded a touch, though there was not one ounce of irritation in his tone. In fact, Jessie sensed a hint of worry.
“The way you and Rafe made me relax. How do you do that?”
Ricard’s back stiffened. His jaw tensed. “I am not doing what Rafe did. But, to answer your question, yes, what Rafe did is a skill, one that every vampire has, though we must work to perfect it over time.”
The muscle directly below his left eye ticked.
“How is what Rafe did different from what you’re doing?” Jessie reached for Canella, wanting to hold something warm and real, something she understood without question.
“I am not doing anything,” he said.
“I feel it. You’re doing something. I’m not crazy. I know you’re doing it.” There was no chance in hell Jessie would let him deny he was up to something. He carried her off from the infirmary like Tarzan rushing through the trees with Jane. Clearly, he meant to control her.
“I am worried our conversation will become more confusing than helpful.” Ricard bent to examine the pig, then nestled the four puppies together against the sow’s round belly. “Vampires have the power to influence humans.”
Four large dogs gathered around Ricard, tails wagging and waiting for him to play with them. The commotion that occurred when they entered the room was gone. Mama pig lay with the sleeping puppies and all the grown dogs circled Ricard as though he was some vampire dog whisperer. They waited for him to sit cross-legged on the floor and then one by one they lined up in front of him for affectionate inspection before trotting off to the empty beds stationed around the room.
“Jessica, I am not able to do what Rafe did to you.” The expression on his face was one of confusion. “As far as I can tell it is impossible.” After giving the fourth dog a good ear rubbing he stood and walked several feet. With his hands behind his back, one hand clasped around his wrist he paced. When he reached the counter across the room, he turned and walked back. He proceeded to walk this path several times.
“A vampire does not possess the power to influence his mate.” He shook his head. “It’s a wonderful security measure and a confounding torture all wrapped into one profound point.”
Jessie would have sworn he’d forgotten she was with him by the distant look in his dark violet eyes. Watching him lost in thought, trying to work out the answer to a question that must have plagued him for quite some time, she could not help but be drawn to him.
“After several hundred years of solitude a man may find his mate, yet once he does all the knowledge, power, or skilled command of his vampire gifts are useless.”
He paused, staring into space.
Jessie counted five pulses of the muscle just below his eye.
“He is as helpless to win her heart as he would have been had he met her as a human.” He looked down at his open hands. “It’s cruel. Now that I think about it as a man and not a scientist, I once again appreciate the conundrum.”
“Who?”
He smiled and gave a short chuckle. “The vampires I’ve watched struggle with adapting to their mates. I certainly did not ever poke fun at their misery, but I thought they were foolish not to reason out the answers to their problems.” He gave a little shrug. “Of course, it’s much easier said than done.”
“Does every vampire have a mate? Is it like being married? Are their divorces?” Quickly the idea that vampires were like movie stars, marrying for a quick fix or due to some crazy moment of infatuation rather than true life-long love danced through her mind, and she smirked at the idea of a vampire magazine spinning tales of vampire passion.
“Does every human marry?” he asked.
“No. But some marry several times.” She sat on a stool.
“Not vampires. Generally, it’s a once in a lifetime experience.” He cleared his throat. “This explanation might make you nervous to hear.”
“Try me.” What could possibly make her worry more than what she’d been through in the past twenty-four hours? “You’ve already told me I’m your mate. Is there anything weirder?”
“Vampire mates become—”
She bolted up from the stool. “Dear God! You’re not going to turn me into a vampire, are you?” Holding the stool between them, she backed toward the door. “You’re right. That does worry me. I don’t like it.”
She reached behind her, searching for the handle while dragging the stool. “I want to have a say in my destiny. That is not the ending I want for me. I’m not doing that.” Releasing the stool, she waved her hand between them. “This just is not going to work. I’d rather go back home and get on with the rest of my life even if it’s shorter lived than I planned.” She grabbed the stool again and dragged it with her toward the door.
Ricard tipped his face forward and looked over his glasses at her. He did not move from where he stood. “No. We do not turn our mates to vampires. That is not a fear you should consider.” He glanced toward the calculation on the board. “An illogical conclusion on your part.”
Jessie’s back stiffened. That was not the first time anyone had called her illogical. She’d been hearing that for years. First from her mother and father, both of whom were trained to think of everything in logical, concise terms, and in all honesty, probably did not have the genetic capacity to be illogical. Then, there was Joshua, whose nickname for her was Illogi instead of Jessie.
Ricard’s lips quirked to the left, and a slight smile played at the corner of his mouth. “Did I say something that bothered you?”
She would not take the bait. Baited was how an emotional woman spent most of her life when living with brilliant scientists and the boy wonder, who had obviously inherited their brains.
“What, pray tell, do vampire mates become, if not vampires?” She placed the stool down and slid onto the seat, holding her chin high and her back perfectly straight.
“She becomes the entire world to a vampire. She becomes his reason to live.”
“Well, that’s certainly much nicer than the alternative.” It took great effort not to squeal when hearing those words, especially when Ricard focused directly on her. His gaze meeting hers held hunger, need, and above all love.
Every muscle in Jessie’s body tightened with excitement. To ensure she didn’t do something stupid like jump up from the chair and tackle him to the floor she gripped the stool with both hands, crossing her legs and locking her ankles.
There was no way in hell she would allow her illogical, excitable, emotional side to turn her into a gushy moron. She had to control herself.
“It is shocking how this effect occurs. It’s instantaneous.” Ricard’s gaze trailed from Jessie’s face down her body all the way to her crossed ankles.
The heated touch of his attention nearly made her behave like a lovesick teenager. She gave a slight nod and even slighter smile, then spun the chair around in what she hoped appeared to be a careless whirl.
I have a mission. Avenge my family. That’s first. Fall in love, maybe, someday, later. Not now.
When she spun back toward Ricard, he stood in the exact spot, still watching, still smiling. That look of controlled passion made her feel for him. She sensed his desire to touch her and his desire to protect her, and once again she was impressed by his self-control. So impressed that some little demon-like desire niggled in her chest, encouraging her to tempt him.
Insane? Yes! Why would she taunt a vampire who so clearly wanted her yet fought to keep her safe? Why in the world would she want to risk her own safety with a man who drank human blood?
Had she lost her damn mind? Did she secretly want to die because she had no family left? That had to be it. She had to have some weird death wish. She laughed out loud at the idea. “Preposterous.”
“I know. I agree, but it’s true.” Ricard paced again. “There is a strange desire.” He paused with his hands balled to fists. “Is it the instinctual drive? Yes, that must be it. Nature wants what it wants. To be free.” His eyes widened, and he nodded. “Yes. The fierce, innate power within wants to explode, to make its presence known.”
He clenched his jaw and his arms drew in against his ribs, fists still squeezed tight.
“To take what he believes…no, what he knows without question, rightfully belongs with him. The one thing in all the world that makes an incomplete being whole.” He nodded again.
The deep purple of his eyes brightened to a bluer hue. Around him heat churned, and Jessie would have sworn his thoughts literally consisted of their own energy.
“But, why? Why, if he knows that she is the balance of his soul, why can he not simply bring her to him? Why can’t he with all his power, make them into one?” His hand came up before his eyes, fist opened as though to hold a ball.
Watching this man lost in his thoughts, desperately trying to reason out what Jessie thought sounded an awful lot like how love worked, drew her to him even more.
“This unseen and inexplicable drive to have, to force, to create something is all-consuming except for the counterforce that foils.” His hands came to his head, fingers combing into his hair in an aggressive massage.
Jessie leaned forward, prepared to go to him, should he need her.
“That power, like an urge controlled, no fueled by the universe…it’s thousands of times more dynamic than he is. It compels him to stop, to protect, to acknowledge that she…she…her love…her acceptance is superior to any compulsion or will of his. She holds the key, the answer to his question.” The pacing resumed. “It’s confounding!”
A strange desire to give him the answer he sought came over her. More than anything else she wanted to sooth his troubled mind.
“Why are you confused?” she asked.
“It makes no sense. I understood it before, or I thought I had.” He paused, turning to face her. “Logically, I understood, of course. Anything in logic can be explained and comprehended. From the most complex to the simplest problem, if one uses logic, one can explain anything.” He shook his head. “But this…” He pointed his finger in the air. “…this makes no damn sense.”
Jessie stifled a giggle. She may have wanted to help him, but he was adorably baffled, and that fact made him even more attractive.
“You find this amusing.” He reached for a marker and faced the white board.
“Yes.” She didn’t bother to hide the smile.
“I suppose it is amusing.” He turned and winked. “Though, from my position it’s far more confusing.”