Chapter One
Patience
“Do you have to go, Mommy?” my five-year-old daughter, Kennedy, whined as she sat on top of my folded clothes in my suitcase.
Stepping out of my small closet, I smiled at the pout on my little girl’s caramel-colored face. I moved over to her, getting on my knees and pushing one of her curly ringlets behind her ear.
“I told you this already, sweetheart. Mommy will only be gone for two days.”
“I knooow, but who’s gonna read with me? Kyle hates reading!”
“Reading sucks!” my other five year old yelled from his position on my bed.
“Kennedy, don’t say hate and, Kyle, you stop saying sucks!” I admonished the twins. “Ms. Sheryl will read to you every night I’m gone.”
That didn’t make Kennedy any happier.
“But she won’t do it like you. And who’s gonna take us to the library?”
“Baby,” I began, plucking Kennedy out of my suitcase and sitting her on my lap, “Mommy will only be gone for two days. That’s only two sleeps. We will go to Mommy’s job when I get back and check-out all the books you want. Okay?”
Kennedy’s little body shook as she sighed but she nodded.
“And what about you, Kyle? Will you come with us to the library once I get back?” I asked my son as if he had a choice.
He jumped off the bed, scaring the hell out of me, and ran to sit opposite his sister on my other leg.
“Libraries are boring. Can we go to Fun Zone?” His hazel eyes lit up, tugging at my heartstrings.
“Sure we can,” I agreed because I could rarely deny either one of these two anything. Though it pulled at my heartstrings that Kyle loathed reading so much. Kennedy had inherited my voracious love of all things books while Kyle was the complete opposite. Reading was so difficult for him that it felt like punishment every time I asked him to sit and read for a bit.
“Okay, you two, how about Mommy orders pizza for dinner?”
“Yes!” they shouted in unison. Pizza was a rare occasion in our home. We had it only on nights I didn’t feel like cooking, and since I had an early morning flight, this was one of those times.
“Mushrooms and peppers please!” Kyle requested.
What five year old asks for mushrooms and peppers on their pizza? Mine did apparently.
“Yuck!” Kennedy made a face at her brother’s request.
As usual, I ordered a half-plain, half-mushroom and green pepper pizza, and then continued to finish my packing. I was headed to a conference hosted by the American Library Association in Chicago. The event was scheduled for three days but I was only staying for two, not wanting to be away from the kids for more than that. The annual conference was the only time I left my children for longer than a night, and that only happened because I trusted their sitter, Ms. Sheryl, with my life. She had saved all three of ours once already, and she loved my kids almost as much as I did.
****
“Judy, what are we doing here?” I questioned behind my friend as we crossed the street to the bar. I had just wanted to spend a relaxing evening in the hotel, after the full day of meetings and discussion groups we had at the conference.
“You need to live a little. You were just going to go back to your hotel room and call your kids.” Judy glared at me over her shoulder.
I shrugged. She was absolutely right. That’s what I’d planned on doing before she ruined it by banging on my door and insisting I get dressed to go out with her.
“What’s wrong with wanting to call my kids after being away from them for a whole day?”
Judy shrugged a thin shoulder. “Nothing’s wrong per se, but you’re a single mom who rarely gets a night off from her kids. It’s been years since you even went on a date, hasn’t it?”
I frowned. Judy knew damn well how long it’d been since I was on a date. The last guy I’d dated had been over a year and a half ago. We dated a few months, and after the first time we slept together I never heard from him again. After that, I decided to focus on just raising my children. It wasn’t a conscious decision. I just didn’t think men were worth it.
“I knew you’d turn into a prude the minute I left Oakland,” Judy continued.
I rolled my eyes. Judy and I had met while we worked together for the Oakland Public Library, but close to two years earlier, she’d gotten a job in her hometown of Chicago and decided to move back.
“I’m not a prude,” I insisted.
“Oh yeah? Prove it!” she urged at the same time she shoved me through the doors of a local bar she’d said would be our first stop for the evening.
I shrugged. Whatever. I was only in Chicago for one more night, I might as well live it up.
“Fine!” I told Judy and stepped around her, heading straight to the bar to order us two beers.
“That’s what I’m talking about. Live a little. Single moms deserve a night off,” my friend yelped, twirling her hand in the air in time to the loud music that blared.
I grabbed my beer and made a beeline for the dance floor, grabbing Judy’s arm to accompany me. We danced and laughed as we continued to sip our beers. When Judy caught me nursing mine, she practically forced me to finish it and quickly ordered us a second round, which all too soon was followed by a third round. Never having been a heavy drinker, I was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol by the third beer. I refused another one, wanting to keep my wits about me and still remembering that we had another full day of the conference left. However, Judy was far from done for the evening. She begged me to let her take me to yet another bar turned nightclub, and I obliged. There we met up with a few friends of hers and danced some more. I stuck to seltzer water for the rest of the evening, doing my best to avoid a hangover. But I will admit it was the most fun I’d had in a long time with anyone over the age of five.
“Admit it, you enjoyed yourself!” Judy pressed as we stumbled into my hotel room. It was late and I didn’t want Judy taking the train home alone, so she agreed to stay with me for the night. Her fiancé was out of town anyway.
“I had fun,” I admitted a bit stubbornly.
She clapped, giddy with excitement. “If you enjoyed tonight you’re going to love what I have in store for tomorrow night.”
I shook my head. “I’m not doing anything tomorrow night besides—”
“Oh, come on! It’s your last night in Chicago. Plus, what you told me earlier deserves a little investigation.”
My eyes widened. “Are you crazy?”
Judy giggled at my obvious mortification. While out with her friends, the conversation got a little heated when the subject of sex was brought up. One of her friends brought up a secret fantasy and before I knew it we all were sharing our deepest sexual fantasies. I’d spilled about wanting to be tied up and spanked. As soon as the words were out, I denied them, claiming it was the alcohol. I wouldn’t dare tell them the truth was that I’d already done that with someone, but I’d never trust anyone else to be that vulnerable with again.
Judy let out an exasperated sigh, reminding me of Kennedy when she doesn’t get her way. “You’re taking this whole librarian thing a little too far.”
I furrowed my eyebrows. “First of all, you’re a librarian, too. Have you forgotten that? Second of all, I’m not being a prude or whatever you call me. Just …”
“Just what?”
My mouth opened but nothing came out. I didn’t have the time or energy to explain it to her so I said nothing.
“Exactly. You have no explanation. You’re coming out with me tomorrow. And we’re going shopping beforehand because you are not wearing that outfit again.”
Frowning, I looked down at the T-shirt and dark blue slacks, and black two-inch pumps I’d worn for the evening. “What’s wrong with my outfit?”
Judy rolled her eyes before plopping down against the king-sized bed, arms wide. “You’re such a librarian.”
“Whatever,” I retorted.