Lana
I wake up, and I’m not in my bed.
The bed I’m in is soft and warm and comfortable, and it’s not mine.
I’ll never wake up in my bed again.
I’m not sure why this bothers me so very much.
Change comes for everyone. No matter who you are, no matter what season of life you’re in, change is inevitable. Why, then, is it so hard for me? I’m a fully grown adult woman of Alipoiaen. I shouldn’t have such a hard time with the fact that my life is different, but all I think of is the fact that I miss my parents and that I’m stuck on a planet of people I don’t understand.
Cody.
I don’t understand Cody.
He’s nice. Really, he’s so nice. He’s interesting and he’s kind and he’s…I don’t know. Pained, somehow. Cody seems like he’s had to be strong for a very long time, and I think that carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders can get quite exhausting.
I bet he must be exhausted.
He has to be.
I don’t want to think about last night too much. I don’t want to think about what happened between us because I know perfectly well that I made things awkward and uncomfortable between us. Why couldn’t he have just fucked me? It would have been easy, and we would have gotten all of this sexual tension that’s been swirling between us out of the way. It would have been great, easy.
It would have been wrong.
Cody isn’t the type of man who just takes a woman to bed, and I can see that now. It doesn’t mean I don’t want him. It doesn’t mean that at all. No, this just means that I’ll need to be patient with him because if there’s one thing I know about men, it’s that Cody has a secret.
“Good morning,” there’s a knock at the door and Rae comes in.
“Hi, Rae.”
“Ready to start the day?” She asks with a smile.
I’m not ready.
In no world am I prepared to go face everything that’s happening to me, but I don’t think I have much of a choice.
With Rae’s help, I get cleaned up, dressed, and primped. She styles my hair and applies some things to my face that I’ve never seen or heard of before. When I ask Rae why she’s doing this and what medical benefits the creams have, she just smiles and shakes her head.
“You look beautiful,” is all Rae says, and then she brings me downstairs. I try to protest. I need to clean up my bedroom, after all, but she shakes her head again and tells me the other house workers will take care of everything. My only concern, Rae tells me, is eating.
She drops me off in an empty room and leaves without another word. There’s a table in the center of the room, along with several chairs. In front of one chair is a plate of food and a selection of drinks.
I understand what’s happening now, and I take a seat.
The food, as expected, is really tasty and delicious. Everything on Sapphira, it seems, is high quality. It’s so different from what I’m used to, and I feel a little regretful when I think of how much I appreciate this new food.
“Everything to your liking?” I tense when I hear his voice, but then I relax instantly.
“I didn’t hear you come in, Cody.”
“I’m very sneaky,” he says, sitting next to me. “Is it good?”
“It’s very good. I’ve never had any of this before. It’s all brand new and yes, very delicious. I do approve of it.”
“I’m happy to hear that.” Cody reaches for my cheek and looks deep into my eyes for a moment. I soak up the warmth he’s offering me in this moment, and then he kisses me gently. “And I’m happy you’re still here,” he says. “I was a bit worried I might have scared you off last night.”
“You did nothing of the sort,” I tell him, although it’s not entirely true. Last night I couldn’t help but think about Kitty and where she ended up on the planet. Surely the house where she’s staying is nice. That’s what I keep telling myself. If my best friend ended up somewhere terrible while I was here, in this enormous mansion, I don’t think I could ever forgive myself.
“What’s wrong, then?” He asks, looking at me. “Something’s wrong.”
I don’t know how Cody can tell.
He barely knows me.
We met yesterday, for dragon’s sake. How would he know something was wrong with me? Unless…
But no, that’s ridiculous.
There’s no such thing as mates.
Mother thought there was, I remind myself, but then I snap out of it. It’s a silly idea: a dated concept. It’s something that was passed down for generations, but no one really believes in life mates anymore. My mother was convinced that each person had one perfect partner out there. She believed that somewhere, somehow, we all had someone who could make our hearts swoon. She thought we all had someone who could make us truly believe.
She thought we all had hope.
I don’t think I believe all of those things.
“Why do you think something is wrong, Cody?” I shake my head and pull away from him. Turning back to my breakfast, I pick up something round and pink. It looks like fruit. I bite into it and flavor explodes on my tongue. I bite back a moan, and shove more of the fruit into my mouth.
“You’re tense,” he says simply. “Your entire body is tense.”
“That doesn’t mean anything is wrong. Maybe I just have trouble waking up in the morning.”
“It’s more than that,” he says, and he places his hand on my leg. “Lana, what is it? Maybe I can help.”
“Cody, why do you care? I’m not trying to be cruel,” I add quickly. “But yesterday was…strange. You didn’t like me, and then you saved me. You wanted to make love to me, and then you didn’t. Now you’re asking me how I am and I’m wondering what happens next. Are you going to push me away again? Is this going to be a situation where I’m left hurting? Again?”
“I shouldn’t have been mean to you when we met,” he concedes. “Lana, I didn’t know my father was sick. I didn’t know you saved him. He only just told me.”
“That shouldn’t matter. You shouldn’t be mean to people you’ve only just met, Cody. It’s common decency, or do they not teach that on Sapphira?”
“All right,” he takes a deep breath. “I deserved that.” He’s silent for a moment as I continue to eat. The food is good, and it’s calming me down. “Lana, I’m sorry for the way I acted.”
I drop the food back on the plate.
“What?” I couldn’t have heard him right. Alien Man just apologized? What planet is this? Even my father, whom I consider to be one of the greatest men who ever lived, would never have apologized to a woman. It wasn’t in his nature. It wasn’t part of who we, as a people, are. Were.
“I’m sorry for the way I behaved when I met you. I was rude and callous. I wasn’t upset with you, and I know I was mean. My father…” His voice trails off and he runs his hand through his hair, looking around the room. He seems stressed. “My father is a difficult man to work with sometimes. He wasn’t supposed to be on your planet in the first place. I was upset with him for disobeying my direct orders to stay away.”
“You told him to stay away? But why?”
“Again, I didn’t know he was sick. I didn’t know he was seeking out treatment from your father. All I knew was that your planet was in a state of turmoil, and I didn’t want my father to get caught up in that.”
And just like that, everything makes sense.
Cody was afraid.
He was mean because he was scared.
Like a child with strong emotions, he didn’t know how to handle that fear, so he lashed out at the first person he could. That person just happened to be me.
“I’m not angry, Cody, but I was hurt. Thank you for apologizing. That means a lot.”
“You should always apologize when you’re wrong.”
“Not all men think that way. Most don’t.”
“I’m not most men, Lana, and you aren’t most girls.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I stand up and start pacing beside the table. “What does that mean, Cody? I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep having you like me one second and dislike me the second. It’s only been a day and I have whiplash from all of these back-and-forth emotions.”
He stands and wraps his arms around me. The gesture soothes me more than I want to admit. I don’t want to like this monster. I don’t want to fall in love with the beast, but already I can feel myself slowly falling for him, slowly accepting that he is incredible.
He is brave.
He is mine.
I don’t know why I think that he’s mine. Men are something to be admired: not owned. Here I am, though, feeling this strange connection to an alien beast who could crush my heart so easily if I let him. Somehow, despite the rough start and the rogue exterior, I think Cody could be a good man.
Somehow, if I trust him.
“Give me another chance, Lana.”
“A chance at what?”
“Give me a chance to show you who I am,” he says.
“Fine,” I tell him easily. “But I want you to take me to see Kitty today.”
“Done,” he says. “Whatever you ask of me, Lana, you will have it.”