It was after midnight when they left the living room and headed for the bedroom. Jace stripped Adele bare before he laid her out on the bed and made her lose her damn mind. That had been over three hours ago.

Adele had never been one to fight sleep, but she fought like crazy that night. She was beyond desperate to stay awake, to not miss a moment of her favorite holiday, to not miss a moment of her favorite Christmas…a Christmas spent entirely with Jace.

It was another night where they were curled up on their sides, his front to her back. She liked him at her back, liked being wrapped up in his arms, his mouth at her shoulder, his breath on her skin, their legs tangled together.

She liked him there with her…liked him being only hers. Except he wasn’t hers, a fact she had to keep reminding herself of. She got this time with him. Nothing more. And that was why she fought so hard to not fall asleep. She didn’t want to miss a moment with the man she loved. With the man she was in love with.

Yup, she was in love with him. There was no denying it. Not anymore. She’d been lying to herself for who knew how long. Days? Months? Years? But now she knew the truth, and it hurt beyond words.

This time the ache in her chest was too much to handle, maybe because her heart was cracking in two. It took everything in her to gently disentangle herself from Jace and keep herself in check. But the second she was across the house in her own bathroom, with two doors firmly shut between them, she let herself go over to the pain, let her heart fully break.

She sat on the bathroom floor, the piled mat beneath her legs doing absolutely nothing to stop the cold from seeping into her body. The sobs were body-wracking and she had to stifle them with the back of her hand.

So this was what it felt like, to truly love someone but not be loved back. It was a physical, almost debilitating pain. She didn’t want it. She didn’t want someone to have this much power over her, the power to break her. Well, it was too late for that. Way too late.

The real kicker was she couldn’t even be mad at Jace. He hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d been the stupid one to go and fall in love with him. So much for not letting herself get in too deep.

A bitter laugh escaped her lips, interrupting her body-wracking sobs. Let herself? That question implied she had control in what had happened. That was a joke. She had absolutely no control. All control had gone straight out the window the second she’d pulled into that driveway and seen his car parked in front of the cabin.

Grabbing the robe that hung on the door next to her, she wrapped it around herself. The chill in the air was making her entire body shake. Wrapping her arms around herself, she closed her eyes as she took a couple of slow, deep breaths. She was wearing another one of Jace’s T-shirts and all she could smell was him.

It wasn’t helping. None of it was helping because she couldn’t be helped. This wasn’t some crush she could push to the side anymore, she’d gone and fallen in love with the very last man she should’ve fallen in love with.

Yup, she was an idiot all right. At least when it came to relationships she was, and definitely when it came to her heart.

But she hadn’t had a chance in hell to stop it from happening. She’d been screwed from the start. And now she was in love with Jace. She’d always be in love with him. Who knew such a realization would be so damn devastating?

It was well over an hour before she was able to pull herself together and get off the bathroom floor. Still shivering, she crawled back into bed and next to a still sleeping Jace. Her heart broke even more when his arms automatically wrapped around her and he pulled her against him.

She’d already wasted precious time with him, and she wouldn’t waste any more. Adele fought sleep the rest of the night, not letting herself go over to it until just before the sun started to light up the sky.

It was close to nine in the morning when Jace got up and went to let Katie out. Adele didn’t move an inch when he pulled himself from bed, still clearly exhausted from the day before. He lingered in the doorway for a couple of moments just watching her sleep. She was so damn peaceful, so damn beautiful. If it weren’t for the dog dancing around his feet, he would’ve lingered for much longer.

After Katie finished up outside, he headed for the kitchen figuring he’d get the coffee started before waking Adele up good and proper. Just the thought had him grinning like a fool.

Once the coffee was percolating, he took a quick look at his phone. He’d left it charging in the kitchen the night before. The second he saw the screen light up his focus was immediately diverted.

There were seven missed calls and voicemails: Coach Bale, Logan, and five other guys from the team. Instinctively he knew what all of those calls on his phone meant. The lockout was over.

Fucking. Finally.

Jace called Coach back first and the conversation was short and sweet. The league had come to an agreement, the season was starting, and the team needed to be back in Jacksonville for their first practice in forty-eight hours.

The second conversation was with Logan, and therefore wasn’t short or sweet. They hadn’t really talked since Jace had left Jacksonville and headed for the cabin…and definitely not since he’d slept with Adele.

Jace didn’t want to lie to his best friend so he tried his damnedest to hedge the truth, a task that was much harder than expected. Probably because it felt like lying. The thing was, he wasn’t going to ask Logan’s permission when it came to a relationship with Adele. For one, he wasn’t going to get it. And two, the person he really needed to discuss the subject with was Adele herself.

He had to tell her how he felt, had to tell her he wanted way more than this week, tell her he was in love with her.

Since the start of this lockout, Jace’s most prevalent thought had been getting back on the ice. It had been months of feeling lost without getting to play. But now the lockout being over wasn’t the most important thing going on. It didn’t compare to him figuring out he was in love with Adele.

Another thing he was beginning to figure out was that his feelings for Adele weren’t new. He’d been looking back over the years, thinking of all the time they’d spent together. He’d always been drawn to her, always wanted to be where she was. There was always a part of him that felt restless, but when she was around, it was like a calmness took over. It was probably why he’d been so damn happy to see her car pull up all of those days ago.

Probably? No, it definitely was why.

Adele had also been the reason he’d even spent that first Christmas with the James family all of those years ago. He’d been unable to say no to her. He was still unable to say no to her. And he absolutely hated seeing her unhappy. It wasn’t just this Christmas where he’d done everything he could to make her happy, it was something he’d always tried to do.

But it went even further than that. He’d hated all of the guys he’d ever seen her with. He’d known that there wasn’t a single one of them who was good enough for her. But that knowledge was always on principle, he didn’t even have to meet them to figure it out.

And why was that? Because at the core of everything, he was the one who was supposed to be with her.

That constantly ticking clock had almost run out on time. It looked like a scoreboard in Jace’s mind, the seconds almost up, and the buzzer about to sound. He had to tell her how he felt, and he hoped like hell she felt the same way.

He loved her and he wanted everything with her.

He was just a little bit distracted during the rest of those phone calls to his teammates. His brain was in overdrive, trying to figure out what he needed to do next and where he needed to start. He’d never put himself out there like this. Never put his heart on the line.

He still hadn’t figured anything out when he looked up to find Adele standing in the opening of the hallway. He wasn’t even close to an answer.

It didn’t help that the second his eyes landed on her, all of the thoughts left his head. Well, except one thought and that was that she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in his life. She was wearing a sweatshirt and yoga pants, her hair pulled back in a messy bun on top of her head, and her eyes were still lined with sleep like she hadn’t fully woken up yet.

God, he loved her.

“I have to go. I’ll see you in a couple days.” Jace barely heard what was said on the other end of the call before he hung up. Setting his phone on the coffee table, he stood from the sofa and crossed the room to Adele. “Hey, you.”

“Hey,” she said as she folded her arms across her chest.

He reached out for her, putting his hands on her upper arms and pulling her in close. “Morning.” Leaning down, he pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss.

She was the first to pull away from the kiss, looking up into his face. “I overheard your side of the conversation,” she nodded towards his phone on the table. “The lockout is over. Congratulations.”

There was so much relief coursing through his body at the news, and excitement. For the first time in a long time, it felt like things were finally falling into place, and a lot of that had to do with the woman in front of him.

“Thanks. They finalized the agreement early this morning. I talked to Coach Bale first. He said we needed to be back Thursday morning for our first practice. That gives us ten days before our first game on the seventh.” He started to move his hands up and down the backs of her arms…arms that were still folded across her chest.

It was then that he noticed she wasn’t touching him. It was his first inclination that something was wrong. Ever since the boundaries between them had disappeared, she’d always wrap her arms around his waist when he held her.

“I know how much you’ve missed playing. I’m happy for you.” She gave him a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

Jace’s gaze didn’t leave her face, and the longer he looked at her, the more unsettled he became. Something definitely wasn’t right. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m still half-asleep. I just need to wake up.”

He knew she wasn’t always a morning person. That had been evident over the years. And the last few mornings they’d woken each other up in a rather energizing way that didn’t require caffeine first thing in the morning.

Good thing he already had the coffee going. He needed her to be a little bit more awake before he embarked on the conversation he was so anxious to have with her.

“Come on, let’s get you some coffee.” His hands moved down to her elbows before he unwound her arms, grabbing one of her hands. Their fingers twined together, and her grip tightened just fractionally holding on to him as he led her to the kitchen.

He reluctantly let go of her as he went to grab the mugs, and she went to the fridge to get the creamer. They moved around each other in silence, taking part in their usual morning routine of the last few days, each of them fixing their coffee. He was waiting for her to get some caffeine in her system before broaching the subject, but she spoke first.

“So you’re heading out today?”

“Or tomorrow. I, uh, wanted to talk to you about that actually.” Reaching to the side, he set his coffee mug down before turning to her. “What are you doing for New Year’s Eve?” He was surprised the question came out coherently.

“Huh?” She lowered her mug, blinking at him and looking slightly confused.

“New Year’s Eve…I was wondering if you wanted to spend it together.” Good Lord, his heart was pounding out of his chest now.

“In Jacksonville?”

“Yeah.”

“Jace, I don’t understand. We agreed that what happened here stays here. No expectations afterward. Vegas rules.”

“That was before.”

Adele set her coffee cup on the counter next to his before folding her arms across her stomach again. She looked cautious…hesitant. He wasn’t used to seeing so much uncertainty in her eyes. “Jace, what are you saying?”

He reached for her, grabbing onto her elbows and pulling her in close to him. “I don’t want whatever this is between us to end here.”

Her eyes narrowed on his face. “Whatever this is between us?” she repeated slowly. “And what is that exactly?”

The question hit him like a punch to the gut. What was it between them? How did she not know? Did she really not feel the same way he did?

Since Jace’s realization of being in love with Adele, he’d been nervous about broaching this subject of wanting more with her. But it had been more of an excited nervous. Sure, the possibility of her turning him down had always been present, but he’d been way more optimistic about the outcome.

Until that moment. Something hard and heavy landed in his stomach as he started to doubt everything. But fear or not, he wasn’t backing down.

“Adele, I want to see where this thing can go. I want to take this beyond the cabin. I want to date you. I want to be with you.”

She took a startled breath through her nose before she shook her head, pulling her arms from his grip. “No.”

Who knew that one word had the ability to hurt so much? “What?”

“No.” She shook her head again, taking a step away from him. It was such a small movement, and yet it cut straight through his chest. “Let’s not complicate things, Jace. We both knew what this was going into it. We agreed. What happens here stays here. Right? Nothing messy. Nothing more. We have fun, and then we move on. Things go back to the way they were before.”

His stomach was slowly filling with something the consistency of wet cement. “What if I don’t want to go back? What if I can’t go back?”

He thought that for just a second he saw something flicker in her eyes, something that looked like hope. But it disappeared a moment later as if it had never been there at all. “You don’t do relationships, remember?”

“Things change. People change. I changed.”

“Jace, it’s only been five days since I got here. Are you really trying to tell me you’ve made a complete one-eighty on how you look at relationships in five days?”

“Are you really trying to tell me that you don’t feel anything for me besides sex? I told you before, you’re a terrible actress, Adele.”

“Please don’t make this harder than it already is.” Her eyes were filling with tears and that bottom lip of hers started to quiver. “I want to say yes. Say yes to the possibility of something more with you. Something more for us. What we’ve had up here has been perfect. Magical even. This has meant the absolute world to me, but it can’t go further than this. We both know it.”

“We do?”

“Vegas rules. That was what we agreed on to prevent both of us from getting hurt in the end.” Her words were barely above a whisper now. She blinked a few times, the tears streaking down her cheeks. “You know I care about you.”

“But not enough to see where this goes.” The cement filling his stomach was hardening now, and so was the tone of his voice.

“Because I already know where this goes, Jace.” Her voice took on a more forceful tone as she threw her hands in the air.

“Yeah? Where does it go, Del?”

“We head back to Jacksonville and spend the next few days before New Year’s together. We continue to fool around, trying to recreate the way everything was up here, but not quite succeeding. Meanwhile, we’re also hiding what’s going on from Logan and Abby, and everyone else in my family. There’s no need for them to know yet, and neither of us wants to deal with the fall out from Logan. So we just try to stay in our little bubble. Then I go back to Scotland after the New Year with some half-brained idea of you being my boyfriend.” She put her hand to her chest, right over her heart as if the word pained her.

“At first, we talk daily on the phone…and then after a month or two it becomes every other day…and then maybe once a week. Less and less as you put all of your focus into the season, and realize you don’t have time for a relationship. Realize you don’t want a relationship. I’d start to get paranoid and overthink everything right up until the final phone call where you end things, leaving me looking like an idiot. Again.” The conviction in her words was clear. This was what she really and truly believed.

It was a couple of moments of stunned silence before Jace shook his head, a puff of air escaping his lungs in disbelief. “Wow. You’ve got it all figured out. Don’t you? And you’ve apparently got me all figured out too.”

“Jace, that wasn’t a dig, it’s just…” She trailed off, closing her eyes, and bowing her head. She took a deep breath before letting it out slowly and looking back up at him. There was a firm resolution in her gaze now.

“It’s just what?”

“I’ve already done this. I just tried this whole thing with Troy. Putting my heart on the line. Dating the guy who is a serial dater but doesn’t commit. Taking a chance and getting hurt. I can’t do it again.”

“Are you seriously comparing me to that jackass?”

“Tell me what’s different, Jace.”

“The difference is you know me.” He couldn’t keep the plea out of his words.

Those big, beautiful, golden brown eyes of hers were on his. They didn’t move. Didn’t waver in the slightest, not even when she blinked, and a fresh wave of tears slid down her cheeks. “I do. And that’s why I can’t do it, because I know you.” Her voice cracked at the same moment as his heart broke.

“You don’t think I can commit to you. You don’t believe me.”

She gave just the smallest shake of her head. “Jace, this isn’t how I wanted things to end.”

The corner of his eyes burned, and there was a thickening in his throat that was making it hard to talk. “But it is over.”

“Yes.”

He nodded, taking a step back from her. “You know, I told you before, I can’t say no to you. Can’t say no to anything that involves your happiness. I didn’t realize it until this week, didn’t realize that for the last six years there has been something inside of me that’s just wanted to see you happy. I thought I could be a part of that. Thought I could be a part of your life as more than a bystander. Thought we could be together. ”

“Jace,” she whispered his name, so much sadness in one little syllable. But it was all she said, because really, what else was there to say?

“I thought wrong. I’ll leave today.” Unable to stand there looking like an idiot for a second longer, Jace turned and headed for his bedroom.

If she wanted this thing between them to be over and done with, then he sure as shit wasn’t sticking around. For the first time in a long time, he’d wanted to put himself out there…see what could happen with her.

Take the risk.

But in the end, she didn’t think he was worth the risk. Not when it came to love. Not when it came to her heart.

What had she just done?

Adele stood in the kitchen for a couple of minutes staring at the opening of the hallway where Jace had just disappeared. Her mind was in overdrive, going through the conversation that had just happened, replaying it bit by bit.

He’d said he wanted more with her…wanted to see where things could go with them.

But she couldn’t do it. Seeing where things went with him would be tantamount to jumping out of a plane without a parachute. It was suicide. They didn’t feel the same way about each other. She was in love with him, and he was riding this high from their time together.

He just thought he wanted more. Just like Troy had. It didn’t matter that they weren’t the same man. Didn’t matter that she trusted Jace more. She couldn’t do it again.

She’d just gone down this path. Given someone who didn’t do relationships—someone who was a known playboy—a shot. Look where that had landed her. She didn’t want to be on the other end of this when Jace bailed, because she wouldn’t be left standing.

She knew instinctively that it was unfair to compare them, but her heart wouldn’t listen. She’d been burned already and it had hurt like hell. So really, testing things out with Jace would be like jumping out of the plane—sans parachute—over a fucking forest fire.

She couldn’t let herself get further into whatever this was. She couldn’t.

This was the right decision. It was just better to end it now before things got all tangled up. Before she began to hope for the future. Since almost the second things had started with him she’d written off any possibility of something happening outside of that cabin. Written off the chance of them continuing on after Christmas.

That hadn’t been part of the deal…hadn’t been part of the plan. She’d accepted the end she knew was coming. If they went further, she’d never be prepared for that ending. She’d be blindsided, just like she had been with Troy. Except with Jace, it would be so much worse.

She couldn’t put her heart on the line like that. Couldn’t risk it. She knew the fallout would be something she wouldn’t be able to recover from, a heartbreak that would destroy her.

Ending things was the right choice, something Adele continued to constantly remind herself of over the next hour. She couldn’t retreat to her own bedroom, shut the door and wait for whatever was going to happen next. She’d go mad and she knew it.

So she went through the motions, staying busy and trying to distract herself enough to where she didn’t second guess her decision. Not only that, but she needed to do everything in her power to not start crying again. The tears she’d shed earlier had been bad enough. She was a hair’s breadth away from repeating her sobfest from the night before.

Instead, she started a load of laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen, and mopped the floors. Pretty much just stress-cleaned everything in sight, Katie following her around the entire time, her nails clipping against the hardwood floors as she paced right along with Adele.

All the while, Jace’s door stayed firmly closed. She knew he was packing on the other side, knew he was getting ready to leave.

Because that was what she wanted…wasn’t it?

She was in the laundry room starting another load of laundry when she heard the front door shut with a snap. Whipping around to the window next to the dryer, she watched as Jace carried two bags out to his car parked beneath the overhang at the side of the house.

She wondered if he was going to leave without saying goodbye. Maybe it was selfish of her—no, it definitely was selfish—but she really hoped not. She didn’t want this whole thing to end on a sour note, but that probably wasn’t possible at this point. Really, she was foolish to believe that it could’ve ended any other way. No matter when it ended, now or later, it was going to end badly.

That was just the reality of it. In her experience when things ended it was never positive. So why would this be any different?

Yup, she was foolish. Something she was beginning to prove time and time again.

Needing to do something with her hands, Adele continued to sort through the laundry, filling the washing machine and waiting. It was another couple of minutes before she heard the starting of the car engine, a sound that suddenly made it hard for her to breathe.

She shut the lid of the washing machine, putting her hands flat on the cold white surface, and waiting…waiting to hear the crunch of the snow as the car pulled away. Instead, she heard the front door open.

The relief that coursed through her was intense…and completely unfair.

She turned over her shoulder, watching as Jace disappeared down the hallway and into his bedroom.

Taking a fortifying breath, she headed for the kitchen, preparing herself for goodbye…or whatever form of goodbye was going to happen, even if it was just one last glance of him. It wasn’t even a minute when he cleared the hallway again, coming up short when he spotted her standing on the other side of the kitchen island.

The angry expression on his face was not one she was used to, his mouth tight, eyes hard. At least she wasn’t used to it directed at her. She so badly wanted to cross the space to him, reach up and smooth that expression away with her fingertips. Instead, she balled her fists at her sides and kept her feet rooted to the spot.

The only thing she allowed herself to do was to look at him, angry expression and all.

He was wearing jeans and a black sweater, and his hair was still damp from a shower. He probably smelled like soap and warm, clean man. She desperately wanted to be wrapped in his arms…wanted to run her fingers through his hair one last time. It was something she was never going to get to do again.

But there were so many things she wasn’t going to get to do again. Fall asleep in his arms, wake up next to him, taste his lips, watch as he moved over her, feel him move inside of her, share a shower with him, laugh while she cooked with him, be in the same room as him and not feel completely and totally empty inside.

This was it, this was the end, and she was suddenly doubting everything. Had it been worth it? A few days spent in his arms in exchange for losing him being a part of her life?

Jace shook his head before he turned away from her and headed for the front door.

Adele’s stomach was churning, the little amount of coffee she’d drank earlier turning to acid. Then there was her heart, pounding so hard in her throat that she could feel it in her teeth. It was a beat that was starting to sound like words.

Stop him…stop him…stop him.

“Jace.” His name escaped her lips on a whisper so low she wasn’t sure if he’d even heard it. But a second later there was a loud thud as he dropped his bag by the door. And then he was coming back down the entryway, heading for her in the kitchen.

He didn’t stop until he was right in front of her, and then his hands were at the side of her head and he was crushing his mouth against hers. The kiss was not slow or gentle on either side. It was all consuming, like they were each trying to devour the other.

He was the one who ended the kiss, resting his forehead against hers. “You’re wrong about me. Wrong about this. Wrong about us.”

And then he was pulling back from her, his hands falling from her face. She hadn’t even realized she’d fisted her hands in his sweater until he was pulling them away.

He took a step back, his eyes on hers, the anger from earlier replaced with a longing look of pain that radiated inside of her chest.

“Bye, Del.” He let go of her hands before taking a few more steps away and then turning from her.

Katie followed behind him, clearly wanting to go outside with him to play. “Not today, Katie girl.” He scratched her head one last time before he leaned down and grabbed his bag.

This time Adele said nothing as he opened the front door, and walked out of the cabin. A minute later, the crunch of his tires on the snow filled her ears. It was all she could hear.

He was gone, and she’d let him go.

Adele’s eyes were already filling with tears as she looked up to the beam above her and saw a sprig of mistletoe that Jace had hung.

It stabbed her right through the heart.