Adele dozed in Jace’s arms, warm and comfortable, snuggled up against his solid chest. Much like that morning, it had been another slow and gentle sex session. She knew he was holding back with her, taking it easy and trying not to push her body too far. It was true she hadn’t had sex in a while, but she was adjusting just fine. More than fine.

As much as she liked his tender side—and believe her, she soooooo did—she was going to have to instigate another rough and tumble session…just a bit later though, when she had the strength to move.

Jace’s mouth brushed over her forehead, his lips warm as he gently kissed her. Adele snuggled in closer to him, taking a deep breath and letting it out on a satisfying sigh. Stretching up, she returned a kiss to his neck as she whispered a “thank you” against his skin.

“For what?” His hand started doing that slow, tantalizing tracing thing on her back. “The orgasms?”

Yup. Plural. “Well, those were very lovely. Yes.” She patted his chest before tilting her head back so she could look up into his aquamarine eyes. “But I actually meant thank you for bringing me Christmas, for pulling out the decorations, for making it feel…right again.”

“You’re welcome.” His free hand moved down her thigh and to her knee, hiking her leg up so it was now resting across his waist. He started tracing over her skin there too, moving back and forth in slow, hypnotic swirls. “You without Christmas just didn’t make sense.”

“You’re right. It doesn’t.” She agreed as she moved her head down again, settling back into place on his chest.

“Why do you love it so much?”

She hesitated for just a moment or two, thinking of where to start as she luxuriated in his touch. “It was always that one time of year that promised to slow down.”

“How so?”

“When I was young, like, between the ages of four to nine, Dad worked a lot because he was trying to get his business going. Mom was teaching. Logan was already traveling everywhere with hockey.” She let out a small laugh as she thought of her eldest brother in those days. “I have no memories of him where he wasn’t playing the sport. The same with Liam. He was always involved with every music activity he could be in. Everyone was always so busy all of the time, but when Christmas rolled around, it just slowed down. Dad would always take us sledding and build snowmen.”

“You know I’ve never built a snowman.”

“Seriously?” She looked up at him, shocked.

“Well, there wasn’t a lot of snow in LA when I was growing up.”

“Yeah, but you’ve been around snow since.”

“Yes,” he nodded. “This is true. But if you saw a grown ass man building a snowman by himself, wouldn’t you think that was weird?”

“Just a little,” she agreed.

“That’s what I thought. Anyways, back to you and your Christmas traditions.”

“Well, mom would make gingerbread houses with us…you have made a gingerbread house, haven’t you?” Her eyebrows rose high.

“Now that I have done. It’s just been a super long time. I want to say there was one year in elementary school where we all got a kit.”

“You didn’t make it from scratch?” she asked in mock horror.

“I’m clearly not living up to your Christmas expectations.”

“Don’t worry. There’s still time to correct all of this.” She patted his chest before she laid her head back down. “Anyway, Logan taught me how to ice skate—”

“I have most definitely done that.”

“Clearly,” she laughed. “And Liam played every Christmas carol known to man. Nights were spent with all of us either watching a movie or playing games. And every year, no matter what changed, Christmas was always like that. It was just about being together.” Her voice trailed off, and she couldn’t hide the wistful sadness that tinged her words.

She missed those days, missed them with an ache she hadn’t been aware of until that very moment. Jace didn’t say anything, just held her as her mind swirled with memories of the past.

It was a moment or two before she broke the silence. “You were right, earlier.”

“I don’t doubt it, but you’re going to have to be more specific on what I was right about.”

A laugh bubbled out from her lips, defusing some of the sadness that had settled in her chest. “When you said things were changing, that everyone was moving on except you. Well, you aren’t the only one who feels left behind. I feel like I can’t keep up with my family anymore.”

“Is that why you didn’t go down there to spend Christmas with them?”

“Part of it. I also felt like a failure because of the whole Troy thing.”

His fingers stopped moving on her leg, his hand opening wide on her thigh before tightening in a reassuring grip. “That wasn’t your fault.”

“No. I know that. But it wasn’t just him. It’s the fact that I haven’t been in a successful relationship in years. And everyone else in my family is married…in love…happy.”

“And you haven’t been happy?” His voice got softer, and so did his touch.

She thought back over the last few months before lightly shaking her head. “I thought I was...or I thought I could be. Maybe it was just the possibility of happiness.” The more she thought about it, the more she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been genuinely happy.

Well, before the last day or so, that was.

It was as if he knew her thoughts, knew where her mind had gone with the question that he asked her. “And what about now?”

“Right now? In this moment with you? I’m very happy,” she answered, no doubt in her mind that those words were true.

His mouth brushed over her forehead again, the scruff of his beard tickling her skin. “Good, because right now, in this moment with you, I’m very happy too.”

Warmth and giddy joy spread through her at those words. Everything about that moment was sheer perfection. She wouldn’t change a single damn thing.

The thing was, Adele knew it wasn’t Jace who was making her happy…well, not just him. It was the culmination of everything. It was being there, away from everything, with him. It was being able to tune out all of the other noise in her life. She hadn’t been on social media in days, not since picturegate. And the only people she was really talking to were her family and close friends and that had just been a couple of phone calls and a few texts.

This happiness was about being in a place that she loved, a place where she was comfortable, a place where she could be herself. She was also there with Jace, someone she could be herself with, someone she didn’t have to put on an act for. And he wasn’t putting on an act for her, either.

None of that had been the case with Troy…or the last couple of guys she’d dated for that matter. It usually took time and effort to get to the point where she didn’t have to be on all the time. Where she could just be herself. But she’d always been herself with Jace. And yes, there was one little—okay, fine, maybe not so little—thing that she’d been keeping from him for all of these years. But even with the omission of her crush, she’d still been herself.

She’d never been self-conscious about the fact that when she laughed too hard she snorted. Or been concerned about her bed head in the morning. Or stopped herself from crying during a sad movie. Or thought twice about getting another slice of pizza.

He accepted her. He knew her. And she wanted to know more of him. Wanted to know more of his past. He seldom talked about his childhood, and Adele believed that was mainly due to his mother.

It wasn’t like he never spoke about her. Adele knew bits and pieces about Rachel Kilpatrick, facts that Jace had mentioned here and there over the years, facts that she’d filed away. Like that he’d gotten his aquamarine eyes and dirty blond hair from his mother, her favorite color was purple, she loved to sing, her favorite flavor of ice cream was cookies and cream (and subsequently it was also Jace’s), she’d had a massive crush on Harrison Ford, made the best apple pie, and she’d been the one who’d encouraged him to play hockey.

There were also not so fun facts that Adele knew. Like that the marriage between Rachel and Doctor Ferguson Kilpatrick had not been a happy one, that his mother had died of a stroke when he was eight, and that he had no relationship with his father, then or now.

But she didn’t know about how he’d celebrated Christmas, what traditions he’d had, what his favorite memories were.

“What about you?” she asked. “What were Christmases like when you were growing up?”

Jace’s fingers stilled on her skin, and he pulled in a deep breath before slowly letting it out. In his silence, she began to trace her fingertips over his chest, wanting to touch him in the same way he’d been touching her.

“Well, my father never really made time for anything other than his career, before or after my mom’s death. He wasn’t ever around, and after she died, there wasn’t really anyone to celebrate with…that is until I started celebrating with you and your family.”

“What?” Adele sat up, her hands flat on his chest.

The blanket slid down her back, exposing her naked body to the cold air. She didn’t miss the fact that Jace’s eyes fell to her bare breasts for a second before coming back up to her eyes when she started talking again.

“Before we invited you, you hadn’t celebrated Christmas for—” she did the math quickly in her head, “—seventeen years?” How had she never known that?

“No, I hadn’t. Not really. Not like how you guys do things.” He shook his head, a sad smile playing on his lips. “I didn’t want to celebrate. The handful of Christmases I had with my mom were special, from beginning to end. It wasn’t the same without her.” He reached up, the back of his hand sliding down the side of her face, his knuckles on her jaw.

“Then what changed six years ago? What made you say yes when Logan asked you to spend Christmas with us?

The sad smile on his face transformed into a slow and easy one. “I actually said no when Logan asked me.”

“What?”

“I turned down the offer. It wasn’t until you asked me that I said yes.”

Adele let that fact sink in as Jace’s hand moved from her face, down her neck, and to her breasts. His fingers circled both of her nipples, making them pucker even more. She had to close her eyes for a second as the pleasure of his touch moved through her.

“I couldn’t say no to you.” Jace’s whispered words had her slowly opening her eyes again.

“Is that so?” Adele tried to remember the exact details of that time, but she couldn’t think properly.

“Yes, it is. Now can you please come back down here?” He asked as he dropped his hand from her breasts and grabbed one of her hands from his chest, lightly tugging her to him. “Your breasts are distracting me.”

“I’m distracting you?” Adele laughed as she settled herself back on his chest. He held her for a couple of moments before the next question fell from her lips. “Will you tell me about her? About your mom? About those Christmases you remember?”

He was silent for a moment, his fingers resuming the up and down motion on her back.

“I mean…if you want to. If you don’t want to talk about her, I understand.”

“No, it’s not that.” He rolled them to their sides, so that her head was pillowed on his arm, and she had a front-row view of his face. “I was just trying to think of where to start. I have no problem telling you about her.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He moved in, closing those few inches between them so he could press a slow kiss to her lips. It was a few moments before he ended the kiss, settling them both a bit more onto the pillows. She was already flush against his body, but he wrapped his free arm firmly around her, holding her close.

“The first Christmas I remember was when I was four. My mom did this thing where she’d give me a small gift every day starting on the first of December, which was the same day we put up the tree, but we didn’t decorate it. I was obsessed with trains at the time, and the first present she gave me was that kids book, The Polar Express.”

“Oh, I loved that book.”

“I wanted her to read it to me every single night. She did, too. Every night, without complaint, right up until Christmas day.”

“So what did she give you on the second of December?”

“A box of bells, which were the first decorations to go on the tree. The third day was these elf ornaments that looked just like the elves in the book. The fourth day was reindeer. And so on and so forth. Every day we’d decorate the tree with something else from the story.”

His smile grew as he spoke, the happiness in the memory evident. Adele didn’t usually draw portraits, but the desire to draw that smile made her fingers twitch.

“Christmas Eve was when I got this really elaborate train set, and we spent hours setting it up at the base of the tree. Afterward, I sat in her lap for who knows how long as we watched that train go around and around and around. Through mountains, over bridges, around trees. I was fascinated with it.”

Adele could see the scene so clearly, Jace as a child, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

“That was also the Christmas where my mom bought me my first set of ice skates so I could play hockey. Those skates and lessons were the big gift that year.”

“A gift that kept on giving.”

“Exactly.” He grinned wider. “She opened up the door to hockey, and even all of these years later, it’s still this lasting connection I have with her.”

“That’s a really special thing, Jace. A really special memory.”

“Yeah.” He nodded slowly, a shadow of sadness in his expression.

“What was the theme for Christmas the next year?”

“Do you remember that stop-motion movie? Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer?”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

“The year after, it was Frosty the Snow Man, then it was Mickey’s Christmas Carol, and the last one,” his voice dropped a bit, and he took a slow steadying breath, “was The Grinch.”

Jace rolled to his back again, pulling Adele with him so that she was sprawled across him. Moving her hand up, she placed her palm flat on his chest, right over his heart, trying to soothe him with her touch the same way he soothed her.

His next words were barely above a whisper, but the pain in his voice was loud and clear. “I miss her.”

Something took hold in her chest, a fist squeezing her heart so tightly she could barely breathe. She ached for him…for what he’d lost.

“How…how old was she?”

“She was thirty-eight when she died. I don’t understand that lottery. Why some people are taken way before their time. People that should’ve had so much longer to live.”

“I’ve wondered the same thing.” Adele had experienced significant loss in her life, but not at the same tender age Jace had been. He was so young when his mother died, and he’d been left with a father who’d never really been part of his life.

“Did you ever get the answer?”

“No.” Adele looked up at him, shaking her head as she moved her hand from his chest and reached up to cup his jaw. “I don’t think we ever will get that answer.”

“No. I don’t think so either.”

She ran her thumb across his cheek, feeling the rasp of his beard beneath her fingertip. He pressed his face into her hand and closed his eyes for a second.

“I was there, when she had the stroke.” He slowly opened his eyes again, and they were filled with so much pain, more than she’d ever seen there before.

“Jace.” His name was barely a whisper on her lips.

“It was a Saturday in September, three weeks before my ninth birthday. We were filling out invitations for the party. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, that was the theme.” He had his sad smile back in place, the one she wasn’t used to, the one that made her heart twist.

“She wasn’t feeling great, she’d gotten really dizzy, and she asked me to get her a glass of water. Then she slumped off the chair and on to the floor. Her words were slurred as she told me to call 911. It was the longest ten minutes of my life waiting for them to get there.”

Adele couldn’t speak. The sorrow in his words was breaking her. She’d had no idea he’d been there when his mom had the stroke. It was devastating information.

“They took us to the same hospital where my dad worked. He wasn’t there that day, he was playing golf with some big wigs he was trying to get a research grant from. She died before he got there. I was by myself.” And this was when the sadness in his expression was replaced with anger. “He was on the fifteenth hole when he got the call. He finished the last three holes before he left for the hospital. He would’ve gotten there in time if he hadn’t finished the game”

For the second time in the last ten or so minutes, Adele quickly sat up in bed, the covers falling to her hips. “What?” The word came out of her mouth in an angry shout. “You can’t be serious. What kind of a man does that?”

“My father, that’s who. A heart surgeon with no heart. It’s the perfect kind of irony, isn’t it?”

“Bastard.” Adele whispered, shaking her head. She hadn’t realized she was crying until the hot tears fell from her cheeks. And once they started, she couldn’t stop them. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing to me?”

“Because I’m crying like an idiot…I…I shouldn’t have asked.” She ran her fingers underneath her eyes, trying to wipe away the tears that were now falling thick and fast.

She was so unbelievably angry and sad. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to punch a wall but at the same time she wanted to bury her head in a pillow and cry…or scream. Maybe just alternate between crying and screaming. That sounded like a good plan.

Jace reached up, his fingers wrapping around her wrists, stopping her hands that were still trying—and failing—to brush away the tears. It was then that she finally took in the look on his face, one of stunned amazement.

He tugged her arms, and this time when she fell onto his chest, he rolled so that she was on her back, and he was hovering over her.

“First off, if I hadn’t wanted to talk about my mom, I would’ve said so. I told you, I was okay talking about her. In fact, I liked sharing her with you, the good and the bad. You made me remember things about her that I hadn’t thought about in years. So don’t apologize to me for that.”

All she could see were those aquamarine eyes of his. They were so serious…so bright…so beautiful.

“Okay.” She nodded, blinking her eyes as more tears fell from her eyes, falling down the side of her face and hitting the pillow in soft little tap, tap, taps. “Was there a second off?”

“Yes.” His mouth closed over hers, his tongue thrusting past her lips.

There was more passion in the kiss than she was expecting, it was like he was pouring part of himself into her. When he finally pulled back a moment or two later, she was breathless and maybe a tad bit flustered.

His hand cupped her face, and he brushed his thumb across her still wet cheek. “Don’t apologize for feeling the way you do.” His mouth gently brushed over hers. “Don’t apologize for your tears. They’re precious, just like you.”

He kissed her again, with the same passion as before, and she was crying again. But this time her years were triggered by something else.

He’d called her precious. If he only knew how much he really meant to her.

If he only knew…

Making women cry was not one of Jace’s favorite past times. Not at all. Over the years there’d been more than enough tears that had been shed over him, usually when he was ready to move on and the woman in question was not. Sure, it made him feel like an asshole, but what else was he supposed to do? Stay with someone because he felt badly?

That would make him an even bigger asshole.

But those occasions of breaking women’s hearts were few and far between these days. Lately, the ladies he was with knew the rules, and accepted that he wasn’t Mr. Right, but was instead Mr. Right Now. No commitment, mutual fun, move on.

That was his MO…and why Adele had rightly stated he was a manwhore.

He wasn’t interested in the whole commitment thing. He’d seen firsthand what a one-sided relationship consisted of, seen what it was like for his mother to love a man who’d never loved her back. In the year or so before she’d died, he was pretty sure she’d given up on the whole thing and become resigned to her fate. She chose to stay to keep his life stable.

He wished she wouldn’t have stayed. Wished they would’ve left and she could’ve been happy, at least at the end of her life.

Her sacrificing her happiness hadn’t been worth it, not to him. Not for him. Which was why he’d chosen to not sacrifice his own happiness. And really, in the end, the other person wasn’t going to be happy either. So why prolong the inevitable when there was no future?

That wasn’t his thing, thus the occasions where he ended those encounters and the women cried over him.

But something Jace hadn’t experienced was someone crying for him. At least, not in the way Adele had just cried. It affected him in more ways than he’d been prepared for. Way more.

He’d already felt a little raw after opening up about his mom; a topic that once he’d started talking about he hadn’t wanted to stop talking about. Maybe it was because it had been so long since he’d really shared her with someone, and sharing her with Adele had felt right.

But then again, everything with Adele felt right.

Before he’d known what was happening, he’d really started to open up. And then he’d gotten to that day, a day he never talked about, but he’d told Adele all about it. About what they’d been doing when his mother had the stroke…her last moments…his father.

The king of the assholes.

Jace had lost more than his mother that day. He’d lost any chance of a relationship with his father. As far as he was concerned, he’d become an orphan that day.

At first, he’d just been filled with anger, an anger that he couldn’t let go of, an anger that had isolated him. It had been his hockey coach who’d pulled him back from the ledge, got him to channel that anger on the ice.

He might’ve found a way to deal with the anger, but he’d still kept people at arm’s length. It was easier, easier to adopt a better attitude, easier to cope with life when your heart wasn’t at risk of anything.

Things got even better for Jace after he’d moved out of his father’s house, moved across the country, and had pretty much no contact with the man he’d left behind. The last time he’d seen the man had been at his grandmother’s funeral four years ago, an occasion in which the good doctor made a point of making sure Jace knew he wasn’t good enough. Not in his career, his life choices, or who he was as a man.

Yeah, Jace didn’t need that bullshit in his life. Parents were supposed to love their children unconditionally, but his father was full of conditions. He’d made it through most of his life without love, why change it?

Well, maybe because a beautiful woman—inside and out—walks into your life and makes you feel something you’ve never felt before. Maybe that’s why?

He’d meant it when he’d said her tears were precious. Tears she’d shed for him. Tears that had meant more to him than he ever could’ve imagined.

It was becoming clearer and clearer that being with her was dangerous, the most dangerous thing he’d ever done, and in so many ways. But dangerous or not, he couldn’t stop, not when she was under the same roof. Not when she was under his hands. Not when she was wrapped around him in every way imaginable…and he was wrapped up in her.

But he was going to have to let go, sooner or later.

Later. He’d let go later…