“What do you do, sit in the house and listen to your own voice on a track? You so would do that … always so much ego.”

I dropped my bags in the foyer of the giant mansion I’d just walked in to, and heard Dean’s voice singing somewhere through the house.

“No, I’m not that much of a sociopath. My agent must be here, this is a new track I laid before I came to New Jersey … my sound engineer must be done with it.”

He wandered into the cavernous space, not bothering to turn around to see if I was following. Was he nuts? A normal person could get lost in this Narnia.

From the private plane to the tinted Escalade to the paparazzi chasing our car down in the streets to the gate at the beginning of Dean’s community … I was fucking speechless. Who knew how the other half lived? Well now, I kind of did.

Dean’s house was directly on the ocean in Malibu, the glorified beach house he’d always dreamed about. I remembered him talking about the vast expanse back in high school, how he wanted to live right next to the very thing that controlled the orbit of the moon and the turning of the Earth. I’d never tell him this, but a spark of pride fired like a gun in my chest … he’d actually done what he set out to do.

The house sat on what must have been an acre of its own beach, a glass and cream mansion that rose into the sky. From every room, you could hear the ocean, smell the salt and see the rays of the sun. It felt homey and humongous all at the same time, an effect of which I’m sure a designer was paid a lot of money to create. Vintage black and white prints of the great musicians hung in the hallways leading into the main vestibule of the house, and as I rounded the wall into the kitchen, I was presented with an image of gleaming stainless steel, light oak and white tile.

For a bachelor pad, it wasn’t quite what I had imagined for Dean. It was more spa serenity than grungy rockstar hang out … but then again, he’d grown up in the grungiest house of all and maybe he wanted to break that mold into a million pieces.

His voice, the one on the recording set to a catchy, heartbreaking melody, got louder as I meandered through the rooms. I couldn’t see him anymore, so I followed the sound, running my fingers along the soft material of a couch or over a decorative accent sitting on a table as I went.

Was it strange that this place felt … comfortable to me?

That was one of Mom’s biggest concerns when I’d dropped the LA bomb on her.

“But, you don’t even like big crowds! You hate attention and people knowing your business.” Mom threw her hands up, walking around the kitchen island.

“Yes, you’re right … but maybe it’s time for me to try something different. I can’t stay under your roof forever, Mom. There has to be more out there than this. Don’t you want me to become the person I’m supposed to be?”

I try to plead with her, without telling her or my dad exactly why I’m doing this. I lied and said that Dean and I reconnected last month and have been talking, which is the backstory Dean and I will give the media once this circus all starts. When he came to New Jersey, we were caught at the wedding, and now he wants me to come to Los Angeles with him and spend some time there. I didn’t mention anything about contracts or engagements, because what they don’t know can’t hurt them and I want them as far removed from this as possible.

The only person who really knows the truth is Heidi, along with Dean and I, and I’m assuming some of his industry people.

“Are you sure about this, honey? You built a good career here, will you be able to continue that out there?” Dad has been mostly quiet, but inquisitive.

I think that he’s silently relieved to be getting me out of the house, and out of their finances. It can’t be easy on my parent’s marriage to have their broke, twenty-seven-year-old daughter still living in her childhood bedroom right next to their own. But he is concerned, I can see it in the lines on his face.

“There are so many opportunities for me out there, so many more than here. What they’re doing out there with skin technology, it’s incredible, Dad. I’ll be learning from the most innovative doctors in my field.”

Of that, I was certain. I may be doubtful about the entire rest of the setup, but I couldn’t wait to begin working at a practice out in LA. Just researching some of the procedures of the best dermatologists in that area, my hands were twitching at the ready to get some experience in the advanced treatments. Reversing aging, sun spots, scars and other epidermis ailments might not turn most people on, but it was my porn.

“We just want to make sure you’re thinking this through, Kara … if this is what you want, then we’ll support you. I can’t say I’m not happy that you’ve reconnected with Dean, you know I loved him. But … I just don’t want to see you get hurt like last time.” Mom comes over to me and wraps me in a hug.

I have to bite back the lump of emotion clogging my throat, because if she only knew how phony this was, she’d be so disappointed. What would they say when they found out about the engagement? What would they do when it ended in a year?

For the first time since I’d contemplated my ex-boyfriend’s proposal, I thought about the other people in my life it would affect. My parents would be put under a microscope as well, and the excitement my mom would hold about finally throwing a wedding for her only child would be snuffed out when we ended everything.

I couldn’t think about that now, though. I had to focus on the money, the relief this would bring to them and their bottom line. I had to focus on getting out of their hair, of letting them live the empty nester lifestyle I know my dad had been dreaming about. And I was a grown adult … I had to start making choices that they weren’t allowed to question.

“It’s going to be great, you’ll see.” I sigh into her shoulder, allowing myself to feel like a child for just one more moment.

“Then we will support you in whatever way you need.” Dad laid a hand on my shoulder as we stood in the kitchen as a family for the what might be the last time for a while.

“I think the bass needs to be increased … and we need to add some more background vocals but other than that, it sounds pretty ace.” Dean was standing there, rubbing his hand across his jaw when I finally found him.

The room I’d walked into was basically an entire other building, a recording studio with boards and gadgets that looked far too advanced for me. Dean’s voice, and guitar, blared out from speakers … and I couldn’t help but soak them in. It had been years since I’d allowed myself to listen to his music.

“Let’s find you a room, then.” He smiled, and my knees buckled a bit.

I absolutely hated that he still had that effect on me. If anything, the natural charm oozing off of him had increased tenfold.

He turned on his heel, his jeans fitting in a way that should be illegal, and trekked back through the house. The downstairs alone was bigger than any dwelling I’d ever been in, and once he crested the top of the stairs and began throwing open doors to bedrooms, I had to bite my tongue from making rude comments.

“Is this one okay?” Dean swings a door open, and the sunlight streaming through the back wall of floor to ceiling windows stuns me.

The bedroom is done in ocean and beige tones, seemingly blending right into the sand and water below. The bed is larger than any I’ve ever seen, and it strikes me just how much the time zones are now affecting me.

“I mean, it’s not the dungeon from Beauty and the Beast.” I walk in, setting my weekender bag on the bench in front of the bed.

“Is that what you’re going to compare yourself to?” His blue eyes hold a little hurt, but his mouth flips up in a smirk.

“Prisoner isn’t the correct term, I guess. Concubine, maybe? Indentured servant?” I infuse my voice with sarcasm.

Something is buzzing between us, and Dean steps closer. “Don’t pretend you didn’t willingly agree to this, Kara.”

This felt like dangerous territory, with alarm bells going off in my head. “Don’t pretend that just because I’m sleeping in one of your bedrooms, that it means you can do what you please.”

I’d been thinking about sleeping down the hall from him the entire plane ride, and felt like I needed to lay that ground rule now.

He tilts his head to the side. “Like I explained before, I don’t need to force a woman to ride my cock. They come begging all on their own.”

My stomach drops at his use of the word cock. I sneer. “You’re so humble. I bet you even kiss them after they suck you off, just so they can say that Dean Jacobs is a pure gentleman.”

I wasn’t going to let him embarrass me with his dirty mouth.

“I think I’ve missed you, Kara.” His expression is almost gleeful.

And that was my greatest fear.