The next two weeks are a blur.

Between work, dates with Dean, and Hollywood events, I am so exhausted I practically drop every time I walk into the bedroom that has been designated as mine.

Some of the girls at the hospital have begun to be friendly … apparently, it’s not such a big deal who you date out here, since so many people are either famous or trying to be. Sure, I “snagged a bigger fish,” one of the girls told me this, but it didn’t make me special in any way like I’d feared. Kendra and Michelle were the two girls I’d started to eat lunch with, and for Los Angeles people, they were actually pretty cool and normal. Probably because they worked in my field and could discuss everyday things, like traffic and chipping pedicures. You know, things celebrities didn’t have to worry about.

I’ve spoken to Mom almost every day, and have assured her that I’m doing just fine. And really, I am. Besides the awkward, forced date conversations between Dean and I, and the fact that I still can’t stomach to look at him without thinking about what he did to me … everything is pretty good. My loans are paid off from the first disbursement of money I was given for signing the contract, a fact that both boggles my mind and makes me question just how much money my ex-boyfriend has.

I’ve gone out, still relatively unrecognizable even though the world knows my name now, to explore the West Coast in all of its glory. When I’m not tending to my job or obligations, I’ve been walking on the beach, exploring the coves of Malibu and its raw, awe-inspiring beauty. I took a day trip to see the touristy sights of Hollywood, something I thought would be corny but actually ended up enjoying immensely.

And now, I’m curled up in my giant room, with a cup of tea that is almost as good as the amazing pedicure I got the other day.

“I think I could live this lifestyle for a while, even if it comes with a ball and chain.” I snuggle back into my pillows, Heidi on the other end of the phone.

“I’m so fucking jealous, I want vampire facials and Fendi bags.” I can practically hear her pout.

“Ew, I am not having my own blood rubbed all over my face, no matter how cutting edge it’s supposed to be. But I did buy myself a nice pair of shoes from DSW with my contract money.” I look at the box in the corner that contains the cute maroon heels I bought.

“Leave it to you to buy warehouse shoes when Prada is right around the corner. Better yet, I’m sure they’d deliver some to your mansion for free. Please tell me you’ll fly me out there.”

“Of course, on my private jet.” I roll my eyes. “How is home? I miss it.”

This wasn’t a lie, I really did miss it. While this was a nice vacation away from my usual reality, despite the ball and chain I was hitched to, there was something about my usual routine that I was feeling nostalgic for.

“Boring ass New Jersey, is what it is. But the salon is doing well, we just booked a shoot with a modeling agency in the city so that’s good.”

She criticizes our home state, but deep down we both know that we could never fully live somewhere else. There is just something about our busy Garden State that can’t be replaced by another location.

Something falls in the hallway outside my door, and I shoot up. I’ve felt comfortable here, but there is still the inkling in the back of brain that this isn’t my house.

“Wait, B … I hear something.” Now that I think about it, I don’t know if Dean has a security system, or how to use it.

And then my blood goes cold thinking I’m alone in this ginormous house, and there is a crashing sound from down the hall.

“Stay on the phone with me,” I whisper, slowly turning the handle to my door and creeping out into the hall.

A sound, I’m not sure if it’s a groan or a yelp, sounds from somewhere on the same floor I’m on, and instead of doing all of the things you scream at characters in scary movies to do, I walk toward it.

“What is it?” Heidi hisses.

“Shh!” I dismiss her.

Rustling gets louder, and I come upon the door to Dean’s bedroom. Is someone in there … stealing? My mind flashes to that bling ring crap I’d read about in middle school, and I could just imagine teenage stalkers trying on his leather jackets in the massive closet I’d snuck a peak at one day when he wasn’t home.

The door wasn’t closed all the way, and I could make out motion from the crack in it. The setting sun moved over his room, a darker version of mine, almost the colors of a stormy sea. Gray and dark green covered everything, and two vintage black guitars hung over the headboard of his bed.

“Oh, yeah …”

His voice catches my ear, and I realize that it’s not someone in the room … it’s Dean.

And another person.

“Kara, are you alive?” Heidi whispers into my ear; I forgot she was there.

I click her off, my stomach dropping like a roller coaster ride straight to my bare feet. My throat goes dry, bile trying to rise within it.

Dean sits with his back propped against the headboard, one arm reaching up to grip the top. He’s shirtless, the tattoos covering his arms and chest like an inky disease. His chin tilts up, eyes half-closed.

And with his other hand, he pumps a woman’s head up and down in his lap.

I don’t know why I’m shocked, frozen stock still to the spot I’m being a voyeur in. Anger roils in my gut, disrespect and disgust mixing like a dangerous cocktail. How dare he do this … bring a woman back here to fuck when I’m sleeping in the room down the hall.

You’re not a real couple, a whining voice mocks me in the back of my skull.

“Stroke my balls,” he instructs her.

That makes me gasp, heat pooling in my core and making me clench my legs. It’s so wrong, that I burn below the waist watching him get his rocks off. But I find myself growing wetter by the moment.

Dean’s eyes flash open, finding mine between the crack of the door and its jamb. I suck in a breath, my heart pounding out of my chest.

He doesn’t stop her. Instead, he fists a handful of brown hair in his fingers, and more forcefully moves her head.

As a smirk blooms on his face, putting on a show for me.

Tears burn at the corners of my eyes as I turn on my heel and sprint for my room.