“Hey, I saw your article on Chatter Magazine. Everybody’s talking about it in my yoga class this morning. Congrats!” Kira exclaims as soon as I pick up the phone.

“Thanks,” I say flatly. I’m still not in a celebratory mood, even though it has been a week since I left Ethan’s apartment. “It wasn’t hard to pitch that article. Honestly, I only had to mention my name and they were practically waving money in my face, pressuring me to immediately sign an agreement to not talk to other media outlets so they could have an exclusive.”

It took no time at all for me to find a gossip tabloid to print my story.

After the news about the fake marriage broke, people were hungry for more information. The more sordid the details, the better. People are like vultures that way.

So when I called Chatter Magazine, which is also The Goss’ biggest rival, they were eager to print my story.

I’m the one in the eye of this media storm, after all. I knew I was going to sell them a ton of copies and make them a truckload of money.

“Who cares?” Kira asks. “Everybody uses their connections to get ahead in this world. You and I, it just so happens that we weren’t born into well-connected families, so we have to use all the advantages that we do have.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I thought you’d be more psyched about it. You’re on the cover and everybody knows your name now. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”

“I don’t know, Kira. I don’t know anything anymore. I think my old plan of making a name for myself in celebrity news and then moving on to something more serious is stupid. I don’t want to be writing about some old actor’s hair plugs or some celebrity couple’s divorce rumors when I’m forty. I want to do something more respectable.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Like, actual undercover exposés, political scandals, or human rights violations in underprivileged countries. I want to actually make a difference, you know?”

My mind flies back to Melanie, the journalist who interviewed Ethan on that fateful day. I want to be like Melanie when I grow up, conducting serious interviews and writing serious articles on serious subjects.

“Wow. You’ve changed,” Kira says slowly.

“Yeah. I don’t know. Being on the other side of things kinda gave me a different perspective, Kira. I feel bad for intruding on people’s privacy, even if they’re public figures. They’re just people like you and me, who sometimes want to be left alone. Their work happens to be in the spotlight, but that doesn’t give gossip journalists the right to intrude.”

Kira stays silent for a few seconds before finally saying, “I don’t know, Megsy. You’re the journalist here. I don’t know enough about the ethics of things to make any meaningful comment. But in the end, it’s your career. You decide what you want to do. If you want to switch gears, then go for it.”

“Yeah.” I don’t know what kind of a response I was expecting from Kira. I guess I just need a sounding board. It’s not like I have anyone else to talk to, now that Ethan’s out of my life for good and I’m at home, where nobody ever pays attention to me.

Like me, Kira’s just a twenty-something who has no clue what to do with her life. If she doesn’t have an answer for herself, then how could I expect her to have an answer for me?

“So I take it everything you wrote in that article is true, then? I guess that’s a safe assumption, considering how weird you’re being right now.”

“Weird is one way to put it,” I laugh. One thing I love about Kira is how honest she is. Too many people put on a front, which makes me nervous because I never know what they’re really like, or what they actually want.

It’s kinda ironic, considering I just pulled off a huge undercover thing and Ethan never suspected a thing, until factors outside of my control interfered.

“So you really have feelings for the guy, huh? I never would’ve thought. You’re supposed to be the ice queen. You’re supposed to have sworn off men, which makes you a sane person I can actually talk to. Now you’re just one of them.”

“Who’s them?”

“You know, sappy, mopey people, walking around dazed and preoccupied with their daydreams. I swear, people are like zombies when they’re in love.”

“I’m not in love,” I protest.

“Yeah?” Kira asks in a sarcastic tone. “You’re the most career-oriented person I know, and you cut off your main media contact just to divert attention from some guy. With this latest article, you have taken all the blame—again, just to divert attention from some guy. You have literally put this guy above your career and yourself. So tell me what that means.”

“Uh, that I’m trying to become a nicer person?”

“Oh, Megsy, you’re funny,” Kira says, and I can just imagine her shaking her head, her ponytail swaying as she does. “I didn’t know what you were trying to do with the article. To be honest, at first I thought you’d made the whole thing up. The Megan that I know wouldn’t go that far for some guy, especially when that guy is her nemesis.”

I can’t help but laugh at Kira’s last word. “Oh my god, you just totally made me sound like some character from a superhero movie. It’s kinda bad-ass. I like it.”

“Just take care, okay? I hope this Ethan guy treats you right,” Kira says wistfully.

“It’s…” I take a deep breath. The thought in my head is really hard to put into words right now, and I come up with words for a living—or plan to anyway. “It’s over between Ethan and me, Kira.”

“Oh, shit. Really?”

“Yeah,” I swallow hard to get rid of the lump in my throat, but it stays, making it difficult for me to continue the conversation.

“I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah, he found out about how I’d been emailing Michelle updates and how I was planning to write a story about him, then he got… I don’t know. He was angry and disappointed. And hurt. It was bad, Kira.” I pause and take a few controlled breaths. I don’t want to cry on the phone. I don’t want Kira to worry about me.

“So he told you to leave?” “No, I just felt like I had to. There’s no way to fix this. The damage I made is too big.”

“You need to stop blaming yourself, Megsy. You already tried your best to fix it. I think it was really brave, what you did, publishing your side of the story. I thought it was ballsy and creative, even when I thought it was mostly fabricated. Now that I find out it’s all true, your cool factor has just shot even further up,” Kira says.

“Thanks,” I say with a little laugh.

“Did he know you were going to write this story?”

“No. You didn’t see it, Kira. He was furious at me, and I don’t blame him if he’ll never forgive me. He trusted me, and I betrayed him.”

“Okay, well, maybe I’m not the person who should be giving out dating advice, seeing as my own love life is pretty bleak and depressing, but I think he’d be stupid not to take you back,” Kira says.

“I don’t want him to take me back.”

“What? But in the article you said he’s the best man you’ve ever met and you have real feelings for him.”

“I do. Which is why I’m not going to subject him to the torture of having me around. I’ll only hurt him.”

“What’s your basis for saying something like that?” Kira has a sharp mind. She’s always the first one to spot the hole in someone’s logic.

“The fact that I’ve already hurt him and his little girl. Trust me, they’re better off without me.”

“I’m sure you’re wrong, Megsy. But I’m not going to preach to you when I’m just as clueless when it comes to men.” Kira pauses before she changes the subject. “So if you’re not at his place, where are you now?”

“At my mom’s.”

“Jesus.”

I laugh. “It’s not so bad.”

“Listen, my new roommate sucks. You’re a tough act to follow. Could you please just move back into our apartment? I miss your sexy ass. I’ll kick out the new roommate for you, or we could share my bedroom.”

When I moved out from the apartment I’d been sharing with Kira, I didn’t expect to need the room back. The fake marriage was going to last at least one year, after all. So I told Kira to find a new roommate.

It’s a tempting offer, but I’m not coming back. I have other plans and I’m afraid I’d just fall back to my old patterns of behavior if I did.

“I’m moving, Kira.”

“Back to your hometown?”

“No, to another city.”

“Where?” Kira asks.

“Wherever I can find a good job, or even a good unpaid internship. With the job market as bad as it is, I’d be lucky to get anything.”

“And yet you’re going to try.”

“Yeah. You know me. I don’t see any other option,” I say.

“You’re so bad-ass,” Kira says, a hint of admiration in her voice. She’s being genuine in her compliment, which is kind of embarrassing, although it also feels great. “If you ever decide to change your mind, you’re always welcome to live with me, okay? Even if I have to share my room with you.”

“Thanks, Kira. You’re a good friend.”

“I know.”