Chapter Nineteen

Kaitlyn

It honestly feels more like a wake than a fun night out. Ashley went to go see one of her friends with benefits, saying if it was going to be her last night on Earth, she was – as she put it – going out with one hell of a bang. Wyn only agreed to let her go if she promised to be back at the training house by six tomorrow morning and told that if she didn't show, he'd be able to find her – which made her hastily agree.

After Ashley had gone, Wyn had used his magic to ward me – as he called it. He put a protective bubble around me to keep Nyro from locking on to the energy I'm apparently putting off. He said he was just strengthening the ward he'd put on us before going to the training house so we didn't have to worry about Nyro tracking us down on what might be our last night on Earth.

But instead of enjoying our night out, the mood is gloomy and filled with tension. The two of us are sitting in Mick's – the bar we first officially met at. I suggested it mostly because I was too brain dead to think of someplace else to go. We're both sitting there staring at our beers like two condemned prisoners on death row.

And given what we're facing, what we're going to have to do, maybe that's exactly what we are.

“Do you think we can win?” I ask. “Do you think we can beat Nyro if he's as powerful as you say he is?”

“I think we can,” he replies. “Nyro is powerful. No question. But he's not yet reached the zenith of his power.”

“Not until he pulls it all out of me.”

“Right,” he says. “But we're not going to let that happen. We have a plan. A good plan. This is going to work, Kaitlyn.”

I take a long drink of my beer. “And what about after?”

“What do you mean?”

“Let's say we do win –”

“We will.”

“Okay, when we win,” I say, “what happens after. Are you staying in Chondelai with the others?”

“I – I really don't know yet,” he says.

His voice wavers and is filled with uncertainty – and I feel like I've been punched in the gut. It's silly – maybe even beyond silly – but there is part of me that hoped he wouldn't be uncertain. That he'd be emphatic in his desire to stay here – with me.

The idea of Wyn not coming back hurts me in a way I am shocked by, given how little time we've known each other. But in that short time, the feelings I've developed are deep. They're strong and sometimes, just the mere thought of him makes my breath catch in my throat and leaves me weak in the knees.

Being with him just feels right. Like some piece inside of me – a piece I never even realized was missing before – has suddenly fallen into place. And the idea of him not being here – it makes my heart hurt.

But I know it's a hard decision for him. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to contemplate never being able to travel home again. To never be able to see friends or loved ones again. It's why I'm not pushing him to stay – or at least, I'm trying not to. I don't want to influence him to make a decision he comes to regret – or resent me for influencing him to make.

I look down put my hand on my stomach, feeling a bolt of fear coursing through me. I imagine that I feel something squirming and writhing around inside of me, but thankfully, ever since Wyn had used his own magic to heal me, I haven't felt it moving around again. But I know it's still in there – whatever it was Nyro had put inside of me was still there. I feel its presence, dark and brooding, just waiting.

“What's going to happen to me?” I ask, eyes still fixed on my belly. “When we win and kill Nyro and all. What's going to happen to this thing inside of me?”

Wyn shakes his head. “I really don't know,” he says. “Nobody does. Maybe it dissipates. Maybe it actually grows into a child. It's uncharted territory, to be honest.”

“Great,” I say. “The last thing I want or need right now is a baby. Especially if I'd be birthing the goddamn Antichrist.”

Wyn takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze and I look up at him, tears shimmering in my eyes.

“It's all going to be okay,” he says.

I shake my head. “It won't,” I say, tears starting to roll down my cheeks. “Even if everything goes right and this turns out to be a normal, healthy baby, I'm not ready to be a mom, Wyn. I want a career first. I want to chase my dreams. I don't want a family right now. I don't know if I ever want one.”

He gives me a small warm smile and comes around the table, pulling me into a tight embrace. He strokes my hair and kisses the top of my head.

“We're going to figure it out,” he says. “Together. We will figure this out.”

“Together?” I sniff loudly.

“Together.”

I look up and find myself drifting in those dreamy blue eyes of his. I want to believe him. Want to believe that he means it. That he's going to stay with me. But I don't know just yet. And I don't even know if he knows just yet. Hearing him say we'll figure it out together doesn't bring me the comfort I'd hoped it might.

“Let's get out of here,” he says.

I nod. “Good idea.

He takes my hand and we walk out of the bar. Together.