“Maggie…?” I whispered. The cold misty was fog surrounding her face. She turned back, smiling at me over her shoulder, her eyes soft and laughing. She reached out a hand towards me, and I reached back towards her, but she was too far away, I couldn’t reach her. I ran forward and she ran faster.

“Wait, Mag…slow down,” I tried again, reaching out as far as my hand could stretch, her soft red curls sliding through my fingers like satin. She stopped suddenly and turned towards me. I froze. Silently, she raised her hand, caressing my face so lightly I almost couldn’t feel her touch. I leaned my face into her hand, and she pulled away, smiling at me again before she turned away and ran off again.

I followed her, but my legs were so heavy they could barely move, and she ran ahead, disappearing into the mist. My heart filled with sadness, her tiny frame dissolving before my eyes as I tried in vain to move faster.

“Maggie!” I called out, my voice echoing back to me from the emptiness.

My body jerked itself awake, the dream, the feeling of losing Maggie all over again too much to bear, even in sleep. I’d had this dream before. Dozens of times. Hell, fucking hundreds.

I hated it every single time, too. Not once had I ever been able to touch her again, no matter how much I tried. Each time I was cursed with it, I was left paralyzed and alone, my heart broken wide open again, the wound as fresh and bloody as ever as I woke up alone in my bed.

Only this time I shouldn’t be alone.

“Gab?” I called out, looking around the empty room for her.

“Gab!” I yelled again, fear gripping my heart instantly at the silence.

I jumped up out of bed and ran into the living room. The front door was wide open, and Gabby was nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck!” I yelled, running back into the bedroom and throwing on my jeans and grabbing my gun before flying back through the front door. Adrenaline shot through my veins, my heart racing as I tried to imagine every scenario I could be faced with. I’d learned to be mentally prepared for anything, first on the streets of New York, and then again overseas.

As I stepped out into the morning sunlight, my focus was razor-sharp. Nothing looked out of place, my bike was where I’d left it, and everything was quiet. But there was still no sign of Gabby.

If anything happened to her, I’d never forgive myself. Morbid thoughts invaded my brain, and I did my best to push them away. I couldn’t let my mind get clouded with that right now. I needed to stay focused and alert, prepared for anything, and not let my emotions get in the way.

Emotions. For fuck’s sake, I thought, my mind spinning wildly - now I’ve got emotions to deal with. Somewhere along the way, Gabby had gotten under my skin and I’d begun to have feelings for her. Was it just lust? Would I be worrying about someone this way if that’s all it was? I wondered.

“Fuck,” I muttered, as I made my way quietly around the side of the house, my gun drawn. I was halfway to the back of the cabin when I heard a branch snap. I stopped, listening, releasing the safety of my gun, my finger on the trigger, visions racing through my head as I began walking slowly forward again.

Footsteps. I froze again, wishing like hell one of my brothers was here with me. Confrontation was always easier in numbers. I had no idea who I was going to be dealing with. The fucking mafia. One of the Godz. Or worse, a whole fucking gang of the Godz. Or the cops.

Either way, it was probably not going to be good.

And where the fuck was Gabby? I wondered, as I began slowly moving forward again.

I swallowed hard as I reached the edge of the corner. Someone was around the corner, I was sure of it, I could feel it.

And I wasn’t about to let them attack first.

I rounded the corner quickly, my gun drawn, my finger ready to pull the trigger.

“Fuck!” I yelled, pulling my gun up and turning away, quickly throwing the safety back on.

Bear sauntered out of the trees alone, leaves and tiny twigs clinging to his furry paws, his mouth opened in a smile as he trotted towards me. Gabby followed right behind him, smiling like it was the most natural thing in the world and she hadn’t just scared my heart right out of my chest.

Fear and worry swirled inside me, mixing with intense relief and happiness all at the same time, overwhelming me with its quick intensity. Anything could have happened to her. Hell, I could have fucking shot her myself!

Anger welled up inside of me, a toxic cocktail of emotion that I couldn’t suppress.

“Fuck, Gabby!” I yelled, everything inside of me blowing up all at once.

“What?” she replied, her face full of surprise at my anger.

“Don’t just fucking leave like that, goddammit!” I yelled, my voice echoing through the tall trees overhead.

“What the fuck, Dante?” she asked, her eyes flashing with anger. “I was just taking a walk. I was letting you sleep and Bear needed to go out.”

“Yeah, well, there’s a lot of assholes out looking for you and they’d be real happy to find you wandering around alone in the woods. Fucking wake me up next time!” I growled.

Pain flashed in her eyes, and she looked at me with sheer disgust.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that! I’ll do whatever the hell I want!” she replied, brushing past me angrily.

For fuck’s sake, I thought, irritation and frustration washing over me. I grabbed her arm and she turned towards me. That’s when I saw the tears in her eyes.

“Gabby, I’m sorry,” I said, my anger disappearing immediately.

“Nobody said you have to take care of me, Dante!” she said, her words laced with pain. “I certainly didn’t.”

“Maybe not,” I replied, “but here we are. Together.”

“Yeah, well hopefully not for long!” she sneered. “I’m so sorry to be such a fucking burden on you!”

“That’s not what I meant, Gabby!”

“Then what did you mean, Dante? What’s this all about, huh? Why didn’t you just drop me off somewhere when this all began? Why’d you even bring me here?”

“I don’t fucking know. I was trying to protect you.”

“Is that what you do? Protect people?” she asked, her eyes flashing, her words ripping right through me.

“Apparently I do a pretty shitty job of it!” I yelled back.

“What the hell are you talking about?” she asked, the truth dawning in her eyes. “Oh. This isn’t about me. This is about Maggie, isn’t it? You couldn’t protect her. So you’re trying to make up for it with keeping me here, aren’t you?”

“Back off, Gabby,” I said, every wall that I’d let down in the last few days shooting back up around my heart. She was seeing too much, getting too close.

What the hell was I thinking? Letting her in like that, letting myself feel something for her?

Hell, maybe her Daddy could help her. Maybe that’s just what she needed. Why the fuck I ever thought I could save her was now lost on me.

She was right, and I didn’t even realize it until now. She wasn’t Maggie. I was never going to save Maggie. Maggie was dead. There was nothing left to save.

I looked down at Gabby, allowing myself to drink in her beauty one last time before I turned everything off, remembering the feel of her plump lips on mine, the velvety softness of her skin, the smell of her hair…

“The guys will be here soon. This will all be over before you know it and we’ll get you out of here and back to your life.” My voice sounded like it came from someone else, far away, closed off somewhere in the darkness.

I turned away, leaving her standing there with Bear, the trees dancing around her confused face, but I couldn’t look back. I couldn’t allow myself to see the pain that I knew was there. I couldn’t face my own pain - I certainly couldn’t face hers.

Instead, I did what I do best. I turned away, turned it all off, and ripped off the scabs that had grown around my wounded heart.

It was best to keep it bloody and raw, to prevent it from healing.

That way, I wouldn’t forget who I was.

That way, I wouldn’t forget where I came from.