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BAD BOY by Nikki Wild (42)

Elizabeth

“This is brilliant!” Julian’s manager—or was she his agent?—shrieked. Whatever the hell she was, she seemed to think that the fact that I was carrying this man’s child was the best news in the world. “Oh! Marriage was one thing, but a kid changes everything! It’ll humanize you, Julian, make you seem like a real person! This story is going to be huge!”

I stared at her in disbelief. How could any human being—I assumed that was what she was, anyway, despite all evidence to the contrary—possibly be this cruel? How could she be this… dense? Was she oblivious to the emotional realities of those around her, or did she fail to care? It was almost impossible to read her, even when she was smiling or laughing. It was like she just parodied expressions rather than feeling them herself

If I hadn’t been in such a state, I think I might have pitied her. Unfortunately, the only person I was capable of pitying right at that moment was myself.

“Tessa, I don’t think—” Julian began, but I couldn’t stop myself from yelling over him.

“Are you kidding me?!” My face was burning, fists clenched so tightly I was sure my cuticles were bleeding. “You think that this is a good thing? This is my life!”

“Well it’s not just yours anymore, sweetheart,” Tessa said, smiling as she started to make a call on her phone again. “I need to get the word out. We need updates to your website and some pictures for twitter. You both need to get out that front door right now and let everybody know. Those reporters will go crazy!”

“Don’t you dare!” I lunged for Tessa’s phone, sending it clattering to the hardwood floor. “This doesn’t leave the room! It’s bad enough that my doctor knows—oh, God.” I looked at Jen, wide-eyed. “What if someone in his office talks?”

“Do you know how much that bloody phone cost?” Tessa hissed, glaring at me over her horn-rimmed glasses. “Just because your hormones are on the fritz doesn’t mean you can just…”

“Tessa!” Julian said, cutting her off before she could even dare to finish that threat. “Can’t you cool it with all of this publicity nonsense for just a moment?”

“I’m just doing my job, Julian,” she shot back, narrowing her eyes at him. “The job that you hired me for! The job that’s turned you into a star, or at least made the effort to! I’ve gotten you this far. I’m the reason you’re not completely destitute and forgotten. If I were you, I’d shut my flailing gob!”

I glanced between the two of them, expecting to see a fight like that from an old married couple rather than a manager and their client. The way she glared at him reminded me of a mother at her wits’ end, or one of those narcissists who demanded perfection from her child so that she could look good. Either way, this Tessa person looked completely insane, yelling at a grown-ass man.

And I was in no mood to be a party to it. I’d just received the most devastating news of my entire life. Everything I’d worked so hard for was spiraling down the drain, and all these two idiots could be bothered to think about was how to use it to line their pockets.

“The two of you need to get out of my house,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Because if I hear another word about how good this dumpster fire of a situation is for your image, I am going to straight-up murder both of you!”

Tessa snorted. “You really don’t know what’s best for you, do you, sweetheart? You can’t just toss us out of here. What will the press say?”

“Tell me one more time what my friend can and can’t do in her own house,” Jen said, suddenly at my side again. I grabbed her arm, partly to hold her back and partly to steady myself. I wasn’t just shaking with fear anymore. I was shaking with rage.

“Tessa,” Julian said, his tone wary as all three women in the room raised their hackles. He could see his manager was outnumbered, but wasn’t rushing to her aid. “Maybe we should just go…”

“We’re doing this, love,” she snapped, and for a moment, I actually felt bad for that bastard. Maybe it was because it seemed like he was at least partially on my side in all this. The way he and Tessa interacted, I got the impression this arrangement hadn’t exactly been his idea.

Julian’s cheeks colored a bit. The muscle in his cheek twitched, and I could tell he was grinding his teeth. A hot anger flared in his burnt jade eyes and I found myself staring in something close to awe. Everything I’d seen from him so far—everything I could remember, anyway—had indicated he was the kind of guy who didn’t let things get to him, even when they should. He’d struck me as the high school quarterback who’d never grown up—who’d always had everything handed to them on a silver platter and couldn’t begin to appreciate what it meant to have to fight for something.

But looking at him now, I could see that wasn’t entirely the case. The way he held himself now, the sheer transformation that took place… it held me transfixed. Julian was standing taller, straighter, and in a voice that shook me to my core—still sweet and dulcet, but rumbling from his chest like the call of a freight train—he took command of Tessa and the room.

“Let’s go, Tessa. The bloody cops are right outside,” he warned her, motioning to the window. “And besides, you’ve already cocked this up. I think you’ve done enough damage for one day, don’t you, love?”

That word left his lips like a poisoned dagger just dripping with venom. I could see the shock register in Tessa’s eyes and I wondered if he’d ever spoken to her this way before, or if this was a new development for her. Julian looked cool as a cucumber, but the flash of indignation that crossed her face made me think she wasn’t accustomed to being talked to this way. He’d just force-fed her a dose of her own medicine, and she wasn’t happy about it. Not in the slightest.

I glanced out the window he’d gestured to. I’d been so wrapped up in the phone call from my doctor and the disaster taking place in my living room that I hadn’t noticed the blue and red flashing lights. They had a bit of competition from the photographers still wildly snapping photos, but it was clear they were finally trying to get the crowds to disperse. I let out a breath of relief. One of my neighbors must have finally made the call. The cops sure had taken their sweet time, but for once, I was glad that my neighbors were the nosy types.

Tessa scowled. She opened her mouth to say something to Julian, but when he didn’t buckle under her stare, she turned on Jen. She found no quarter there, either. And by the time she got to me, there wasn’t much fire left in her.

“Fine,” she snipped, bending down and picking up her cell phone before looking me straight in the eye. “But this is not the last you’ve seen of us, Mrs. Bastille. You’re going to be hearing from our lawyers about that baby and about this marriage. And if I had to wager a guess…” she surveyed my home with amused disdain. “…I’d say your resources are a bit more limited than ours, when it comes to the exorbitant cost of a legal battle.”

She smiled at me so very sweetly. I wanted to slap it right off her face. Then she turned on her five-inch heels and made for the door, throwing it open to allow all the reporters outside unfettered visual access to my home. Julian rushed to block it with his broad frame as I covered my face with my hands and let Jen wrap me in the protective circlet of her arms.

“Elizabeth,” he began. I looked up, saw the hurt in his eyes. There was this simultaneous sharpness and softness to his gaze. It seemed like he’d sobered up, and with that, he became capable of real, grown-up feelings. “Look, I know this didn’t go well. I know it’s not what you wanted. I know I’ve been a right cock about it all up until now. But if you’d just give me a chance, maybe… maybe I could fix things.” He swallowed hard. “Maybe we could

“It’s time for you to go,” I said, resolute.

“Right,” he said half-heartedly, glancing between me and Jen. “Anyway, I’m sorry. For everything. All of it.” A self-deprecating chuckle. “That’s what rock stars do though, innit, love? We blow in like a hurricane and upend everybody’s lives.” His expression darkened, and his voice was bereft of all life when he added, “And then we move on.”

Then he gave a slight nod and pulled the door shut, backing out of my life just like I’d wanted. I stared at the afterimage of him, still haunting the place where he’d stood, thinking about how different he seemed when his manager wasn’t looking. It was like a switch had flipped and he’d become a real person instead of the cocky, irredeemable asshole he made himself out to be. Is that all just part of his image? I wondered. Was there more to Julian Bastille than met the eye?

His apparition dispersed when Jen strode over to the door and locked it. She leaned her back against it, shaking her head. “I honestly didn’t think that people that terrible existed outside of movies.” I assumed she was talking about Tessa.

“You and me both,” I sighed, scrubbing my hands over my face. That had been an utterly draining experience from start to finish. I hadn’t even had time to process it all yet.

“That girl needs to take a Xanax and chill the fuck out,” she chuckled, pushing off the door and closing the blinds again. The lack of light in the room was a godsend. I was getting a headache. “Or get laid.”

I shook my head. “Someone would have to get within biting distance for that.” It felt good to laugh a little, but the joy was short-lived. Reality was starting to come crashing down around my head. Now that I had no enemies left in front of me, I had nothing to distract me from it. “I just… I can’t believe the way she talked to me.”

“Or him,” Jen said, drawing my curtains shut for good measure. “You’d think she was his mother, or something! That poor guy.”

“Oh, yes,” I said, rolling my eyes as I made my way toward the couch. I needed to sit before my knees gave out from underneath me. “Poor Julian Bastille, who not only got a one-night stand out of the deal, but has upended my life, barged into my home demanding I play into this like it’s some kind of publicity stunt, and who doesn’t have to carry a child for the next nine months.” I sat down, hard, and let myself sink into the cushions. “He’s sure got it rough!”

Jen turned to look at me. She smiled a little pityingly as I shook my head and whined, “Oh, God, I’m pregnant. I’m really pregnant. How? How does something like this happen to someone like me?”

“The usual way, I’d suspect,” she joked, coming to sit beside me. I put my head on her shoulder. “Or it could be karma. This is what you get for going around sleeping with my dream man!”

“I hate you so much,” I sighed, shaking my head. But as the two of us settled into silence, the real weight of the world—my new reality—finally closed in on me in earnest.

This had gone from some embarrassing legal snafu to a full-on ordeal, with doctors and custody to be considered. This wasn’t part of my very detailed life plan.

There was so much to do. I had doctor’s appointments I had to deal with. I didn’t have anywhere near enough time or money to take care of a child on my own—and yet the thought of taking those two up on their offer made my skin crawl. I began to wonder just how good of a parent I’d be, or even if I was cut out at all for parenting—hell, my own parents were hardly the best role models, which was one of the reasons I had shied away from the idea of motherhood as I grew up. What if I ended up just like them?

“I’m scared, Jen,” I said, hiding my face in my best friend’s curls. Her hair always smelled so good, like jasmine and honeysuckle and vanilla. It was soothing, like chamomile tea taken straight through the nose—without the choking and sputtering, obviously. “I didn’t ask for any of this.”

I had, in fact, an itemized list of everything I did ask for. Nowhere on that list was “make a baby with Julian Bastille”.

“I don’t think I’m ready to be a parent.”

“Don’t I know it, hun,” she murmured, rubbing my arm and letting me seek solace in the scent of her shampoo. She was also so indulgent of me. Then again, wasn’t everyone indulgent of the ones they loved? “But for what it’s worth, I think you could be a great mom—hell, you take care of my tipsy ass every weekend. What’s one more helpless human being for you to worry about twenty-four-seven?”

“Now I’m thinking of putting you up for adoption,” I said, playfully pushing her away.

“Adoption?” She laughed. “No one would take me, but if you’re looking for someone to raise a hot British rock star’s baby, I’m gonna be at the front of that line.”

I shook my head. “Great. You can have it. Just be ready to catch when it comes out.”

“Gross!” she said, looking at me askance as she reached for the remote. “Come on, let’s get your mind off things, huh? You’ve got months to go before you need to make a decision and everything is going to work out. What do you want to watch?”

“Put on something scary,” I said, drifting into a lazy half-consciousness. Sleep felt so inviting, and Jen made the best pillow.

“Right, Rosemary’s Baby it is,” she said, surfing through the on-demand movie channels.

Leave it to Jen to rub it in, even when she was trying to help. I caught the mischievous tilt of her lips and settled back into the couch with a shake of my head. If there was one thing I could’ve used a little less of in my life, it was people all too willing to show off their smart mouths.

“Fuck you,” I grunted half-heartedly, hiding my smile as best I could while Jen’s peal of laughter echoed through the living room. She was right. I had plenty of time to decide what I was going to do. Plenty of time to come to terms with this situation and all it entailed.

Julian’s eyes flashed in my mind—not his typical tipsy leer, but the way he’d looked at me just before he’d left. Like he didn’t want to leave—like he’d had every intention of staying, if I’d told him it was all right to. But I hadn’t, had I? I’d sent him away. I’d been telling myself that was the best thing to do, but as I replayed what he’d said to me—the sadness in his tone, the way his shoulders slumped, how his gaze had darkened and lost that brilliant shine—I wondered if maybe I’d gotten it all wrong. Maybe he deserved a second chance, somewhere far away from Tessa and her publicity schemes.

But there was more to it… On some fucked up level, I wanted this to happen. I wanted things to work between us.

“Plenty of time,” I reminded myself out loud, taking a deep breath as I mentally added Julian’s name to the list of things that might be worth looking into over the next handful of months.