THIS MOTHERFUCKER. I THOUGHT ERIC would have taken the hint, but clearly, he needs a little more convincing. I try to calm myself on the way to Henry’s, taking deep breaths, not wanting to lose control like I did last time.
But is it really so bad to protect the people I care about? Because I do. Care about Lo, that is. She’s wormed her way through the frozen cracks, and she’s been slowly melting the ice inside me ever since.
I flip on my brights when I pull onto their street. I see Jess on one side of the road, a cigarette dangling from his lips, casually holding a baseball bat in his right hand. Eric is outside of his Range Rover with his arms folded across his suit-covered chest. Douche.
I swing into the driveway and jump out, leaving the truck running. This won’t take long. I walk up to stand next to Jess. “What is this, the fucking Wild Wild West? Are we about to have a shootout?”
“I’m just waiting for this pussy to step foot on Henry’s property,” he says, flicking his chin in Eric’s direction. He looks over to me, lowering his voice. “I promised Lo I’d be good.” He shrugs. “But if he steps to me, it’s fair game.”
Cutting the bullshit, I walk over to Eric.
“Well, if it isn’t Logan’s knight in shitty tattoos, here to save the day.” His face is still busted up from the other day, and I get more satisfaction than I should from the sight of him.
“Did you come here for a reason, or were you just planning to stand outside her house like a fucking creep?”
“I came to talk to Logan. I’m simply waiting until she gets home.”
I suck my teeth before saying, “Well, you’ll be waiting a while. She won’t be coming home tonight.”
Eric huffs out a laugh. “Let me guess. She’s staying at your trailer tonight.”
“Yeah. Something like that.”
Eric’s eyes narrow, probably pissed that he missed the mark in his attempt to insult me. I don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks about me, especially this asshole. He leans in closely, but I don’t back away. This guy is used to intimidating people. He’s not getting that from me.
“She tastes sweet, doesn’t she?” He inhales deeply, closing his eyes like he’s reliving a fond memory.
My fists clench at my sides, but, still, I don’t react. Don’t even respond.
“You should have her do that thing with her tong—”
I bob my head in a nod as if to say, okay, we’re gonna do this? striding away before he’s even finished his sentence. He laughs, thinking he won. Jess knows my plan, though, because he casually hands me the bat once I’m within arm’s reach. The look on his face tells me that if I didn’t do something, he would. I turn back for Eric, and I see the moment the fear finally sets in.
“What, regular old assault isn’t enough? You’re going to add aggravated assault to the list?”
I don’t answer him. I’m completely calm on the outside, even though I’m raging inside, fucking dying to bust his head open. Once he realizes I’m not bluffing, he jumps out of the way. But I’m not going for him. I’m aiming for that shiny Range Rover behind him.
I hit one headlight first, then my bat cracks against the other.
“What the fuck!”
I go for the hood next, gripping the bat with both hands, swinging it straight down.
“Okay. Okay! I get it. You’re a tough guy. You’ve made your point,” he yells, holding both hands out in front of him.
“See, I don’t think I have. I’m just getting started,” I say between hits, and I hear Jess laughing behind me.
“You’re psychotic.”
“That’s what they tell me.” Heard a lot over the years.
I bash his side mirror off next, and it falls to the pavement with a satisfying crunch. Once I go for the windshield, Eric rushes to the driver’s side. It takes a good two or three hits before I’m able to bust through the tempered glass, but it finally gives right as he starts the engine, sending glass all over him and the seats. He hits the gas and speeds off down the street, sans headlights.
I walk back over to Jess and hand him the bat. “That was fun.”
“And I didn’t even have to get my hands dirty. Now Lo won’t chew my ass out.”
“I might not be so lucky.”
Jess laughs.
“Can I use your phone?” I ask, knowing Lo is probably out of her mind at this point, worrying about Jesse. My phone is dead and forgotten in a pocket somewhere at home.
Jess looks at me, assessing, before flicking his cigarette to the ground. “Sure. It’s inside.”
I follow him inside. The first thing I notice is that it’s pitch-black, the only light coming from the flickering of a candle that sits on top of the coffee table. The second thing I notice is the fact that somehow, it feels even colder inside than it does outside.
Jesse retrieves his phone from the couch and hands it to me before sprawling out, folding his arms behind his head like this is his normal. And fuck, I can’t help but see myself in him. How many times was I without heat or electricity…or food for that matter? How long have they been living like this?
I walk into the kitchen, checking the top of the fridge and the junk drawer, until I find what I’m looking for, stuffing it into the back of my sweats.
“Let’s go,” I say, dropping his phone back on his lap.
“Where?”
“My house.”
“Nah, man. It’s late and this wrestling shit has me beat.”
“Does your sister know the power’s out?”
Jess shrugs. “No idea.”
He isn’t like most high school kids—that much is clear—but he’s still just that. A kid. He wants a warm bed and a hot meal, but he won’t say that shit. I know this because I was this kid. Too stubborn to ask. Too proud to take a handout. And that’s exactly why I won’t leave him here. I just need to present it in a way that doesn’t resemble pity.
“Your sister’s pretty freaked out. I’m sure she wants to see that you’re okay.”
He’s not dumb. He knows my angle. But he nods anyway, taking the out I offered, grabbing his backpack from the floor before stuffing a sweatshirt inside.
“I’ve gotta stop and get some gas.”
“Ride with me. I’ll drop you off at school tomorrow. I have to come back this way anyway.”
Wordlessly, Jess walks over to the door and picks up his board, sticking it underneath his arm.
Once we’re in the truck, we don’t speak. Both too fucking tired to force conversation just for the sake of it. Jess stuffs his earbuds in his ears, leaning his head against the window for the duration of the drive.
As soon as my headlights shine on my house, Lo throws open the door, standing there in my T-shirt and socks up to her knees that I recognize from my little shopping spree with Briar and Mollie, arms folded across her chest.
“Annnnd, she’s pissed,” Jesse says with a chuckle, wrapping the cord of his earbuds up before stashing them in his backpack.
We both approach her like a couple of dogs that just shit all over the carpet, but once Jess is within reach, she pulls him in for a hug. “You good?” she asks, holding his cheeks in her hands. He nods, and she ruffles his hair before jerking her chin, telling him without words to wait inside.
“I didn’t touch him,” I say before she gets a chance to speak up. “I exhibited excellent self-control.” It’s technically the truth. I took my anger out on his Range Rover instead of his face.
Lo stares at me intently, and I don’t know whether she’s going to punch me or hug me. She does neither.
“Don’t leave me like that again,” she says, pointing a stern finger at me. “You made me feel like he did. Like I’m a child, incapable of making my own decisions. Like I’m something you…own. I don’t like it. I’ve been taking care of Jess and me all by myself for a long time now.”
The fact that she can even compare me to that piece of shit pisses me off. I get that she’s still raw from that asshole, but she has to see the difference.
“That’s the thing. You don’t have to fucking do it alone.” I reach for her hand, and she lets me pull her into me. Lo wraps her arms around my waist, and I bask in the warmth that seeps into me.
“I don’t know how to do that,” she admits, propping her chin against the center of my chest as she looks up at me.
“I’ll be Jack and you’ll be Sally,” I joke, and she huffs out a reluctant laugh.
“Thank you for bringing him here. I’m sorry I snapped at you. I hate feeling helpless. It makes me ragey.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I lean down to kiss her on her forehead, and her eyelids flutter shut. “Did you know there’s no heat or power at Henry’s?”
“What?” She pulls back. I figured she wouldn’t just leave him there like that. I nod, running my hands up her arms to keep her warm.
“Let’s talk inside. It’s cold as fuck.”
“Wait,” she says, stopping me. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. It was dark inside. Figured maybe he was just going to sleep. But it was freezing in there. I had to talk him into coming with me.”
She shakes her head. “I didn’t know. I mean, it’s not the first time this has happened. But we’ve never lived in the arctic fucking tundra before.”
I pull her inside and shut the door behind us. Jess sits on the couch, looking half-asleep.
“Help yourself to whatever food you can find if you’re hungry. There’s a bed for you upstairs. First door on the right,” I tell him.
“Thanks, man.”
“I’ll be up soon,” Lo says as I walk up the stairs to give them some time to talk.
“How…domestic,” Jess remarks, and I hear Lo tell him to shut up right before I close my door.
I take off my clothes, leaving my boxer briefs on since Jesse’s staying over. I fall onto my bed, thinking about how much chaos has fallen into my lap since Lo entered my life, but even more troubling is the fact that I don’t mind the mess. It’s a nice reprieve from my own.
When I wake up, it’s still insanely early. Too early. My own personal furnace is lying halfway on top of me, one of her legs between mine, cheek smashed against my chest. I brush the hair out of her face with my fingers, noticing how young and innocent she looks in her sleep. Sometimes I forget she’s only twenty-one.
Slipping out from underneath her, I walk quietly to my bathroom, making sure not to wake her. She had a long night. Shit, this girl has had a long life. I take a piss and brush my teeth before throwing my black jeans and hoodie on. My cabinets are pathetically bare, so I decide to stop by Sissy’s and Belle’s for some coffee and breakfast to bring back.
Jess is still asleep, if the colossal fucking snores coming from his room are anything to go by. Once I’m downstairs, I glance at the time on the stove. Six thirty. I don’t remember what the fuck time high school starts, but I’m guessing around eight, so I have time.
Sissy and Bella are elderly sisters, and two of the small group of people who never treated me any differently. Sissy runs the coffee shop while Belle runs the diner. You’d think they hated each other with how much they bicker, but that’s just how they’ve always been. Ever since I’ve known them anyway. I grab a couple of orders of waffles before heading over to get coffee from Sissy. You can’t go to one without the other.
Sissy hands me a drink carrier full of coffees, then walks out from behind the counter with a bag of extra pastries, like always, as she gives me shit about seeing “that old hag” next door before coming to see her. When I remind her that she’s the older sibling, she flips me off.
“Nice to see you, too, Sissy.”