Chapter Five
Camille
What had I been thinking? Me too? Did I really think getting involved with a guy not even a week after my ex left me was a good idea? Preston and I left things fairly open, with him promising to call me later in the week. He'd kissed me on the cheek and gave me a hug as we said goodbye, which, I had to admit, was more chaste that I'd wanted it to be. Still, it was sweet.
I was so torn between letting myself rush into his arms and stepping back and allowing myself to heal from my recent split. I was driving down the 405, heading for home, when my phone rang. I answered it on speakerphone.
“Yes?”
Liv's voice cackled on the other end of the line.
“I've been trying to reach you all day,” she said. “Please tell me you were too busy with the hot doctor and not working late?”
I sighed but couldn't help but laugh at my best friend. When she wanted me to do something, she could be downright bossy. Thankfully, I had good news for her.
“I actually just left the restaurant from having dinner with him,” I said.
I thought back to our time together earlier, to fucking in the examination room, and grew wet just remembering how good it felt to finally sleep with him after all these years. I was so caught up in the fantasy, I hadn't heard Liv's next question.
“What was that? I'm sorry, I'm a bit distracted,” I said.
“Uh huh. I'm sure you are,” she said. “I just asked why the date ended so soon? And more importantly, why you didn't go back to his place?”
“Liv, it's too early for that,” I laughed.
I laughed mostly because she would have a field day when she found out that we'd hooked up earlier, in his office. Not that I wanted to share that news over the phone. That was new probably better delivered over a glass or ten of wine.
“But I do have a story to tell,” I said. “Want to get together for brunch tomorrow?”
“Oh, if there's a story, you know I'm there,” she said. “Especially if that story includes Dr. HottiePants.”
I rolled my eyes, but at the same time, found myself laughing harder than I had in a long time. It felt good to laugh. I somehow felt lighter. A little freer.
“You're terrible, you know that, don't you?” I said.
“If wanting to see my best friend happy and sexually gratified is a bad thing, then yes, I'm an absolute monster,” she said. “Because you deserve this, Camille. If I'm being honest, I never liked Stephen anyway.”
“What? You never liked Stephen?” I asked. “What's not to like about him?”
I merged into the next lane over to get off at the next exit, making sure to focus my attention on the road. The combination of Liv and my memories of Preston were making it very difficult to concentrate though. I still felt a little sore and stretched out from earlier, and the reminder of having fucked him had been constant since I literally could still feel the effect he'd had on my body.
Stephen was average sized down there. Nothing to complain about, but also nothing to write home about either. Preston though – holy cow. He was thick and long enough that I still felt it hours later.
“Well, he's a douchebag for one thing,” Liv said. “He always seemed condescending. He always acted like he was smarter and better than you – even though you're the reason that business is successful. Just the way he smirked when you'd tell him he was right about something – I wanted to smack that look right off his face.”
“Liv! Why didn't you tell me sooner?” I asked.
“Because you didn't want to hear it. You weren't in a place to hear it. You were in loooove, and anytime I said something about Stephen being a dick, you told me I was being too hard on him or didn't understand him. Bullshit. I knew he was a prick from the start. And as sorry as I am that he hurt you, I am not surprised in the least. I just wish there was some way to fix his ass for this.”
That was my Liv, always thinking about revenge and getting even. I couldn't deny that I'd had similar feelings – not that I'd ever say it out loud. I wanted to be a bigger person, especially since I had to work with him still. However, if the time ever came when I could get even with Stephen, well, he better be prepared to see a side of me he'd never seen before.
“Well don't worry, if that time ever comes, we will have our revenge,” I said.
I turned down my street, and my eyes were growing heavy as I pulled into my parking space. My townhouse wasn't much, but it was in a nice part of town and it came with a parking spot. It wasn't the family home I'd been planning to buy with Stephen, but given that it was just me now, it would do. At least, for now.
“Earth to Cam? You there?”
“Sorry, Liv,” I said, shutting the car off. “I just got home, and I'm beat. See you tomorrow?”
“Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world,” she said. “You'll see Stephen at work tomorrow, right?”
“Yeah, most likely,” I grumbled.
“Good. Then don't forget to ask him what it would take to buy his share of the company out, will you?” she asked. “You need to do this now, Camille. Get it out of the way. Rip that Band-aid off, once and for all.”
I groaned, but I knew she was right. Still, I didn't want to talk about that tonight.
“Night, Liv.”
I hung up and packed my phone into my purse before lugging everything inside. She was right. I had no excuse not to bring up the option to Stephen. I'd made more than enough to buy out his shares of the company. And I could hire someone else to take over as Zesta's CFO. I doubted he wanted to work with me anymore than I wanted to work with him, right?
I could only hope.
***
Ever since he'd admitted to being an asshole who had an affair, I'd managed to keep most of my communication with Stephen to email. But, I knew that today, that would be impossible. I'd worked from home and came in during off-hours to avoid him, but I needed to talk to him, face to face – as badly as the mere thought of it made the knots in my stomach tighten.
But, we needed to talk about what we had to do with Zesta moving forward, and we had to work on the annual budget together. He also had a presentation to give to the rest of the company – which, given that I was the CEO, I supposed that I needed to be there.
I hurried into the building half an hour earlier than usual, coffee in hand. The place was mostly empty, as everyone else came in at eight. I walked past the cubicles down toward my office when I noticed a light on in Stephen's office.
Great. He was there early too.
Just breathe, Camille. You got this. With my stomach churning, I talked myself into just getting it over with. Better to bite the bullet and be done with it, right? I kept repeating that like a mantra as I headed toward his office door. I couldn't help but feel like an inmate, walking the Green Mile, heading for the electric chair, though.
I hesitated in front of the door, however, and leaned forward, straining my ears when I heard talking inside. Stephen's voice was strained, and he cursed under his breath.
“Jessica, I can't deal with this right now,” he said. “Can we talk later?”
Yeah, there was a small part of me smiling when I heard the frustration in his voice. That petty little part of me was laughing as I imagined there was already trouble in paradise. It was catty, but it brought me some semblance of joy to know he was having problems with his new relationship. I smiled and felt a bit of the shadow lift from my heart, even though it was incredibly petty. I needed to be the bigger person.
“I have a presentation to give in an hour,” he said, his voice rising.
I knew that tone all too well and had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing, now that it wasn't directed at me. He was pissed. Not just slightly annoyed, but downright angry.
It occurred to me then, that perhaps I was so busy trying to appease him, that I'd let myself become a doormat in the process. Hell, Liv was right about him being a douchebag, which was fine back when he was MY douchebag. But now – now, I saw what she was saying, and it wasn't so pretty.
“Whatever. Jessica, I'm done with this conversation,” he snapped. “I told you I had to be in early today to speak with Camille – wait, no. You know I have to work with her. Come on now, stop being a baby.”
My heart thundered wildly in my chest when I heard my name come up in his conversation. I had to wonder what she was saying – she obviously didn't like the fact that we still had to work together. I cringed when I heard him slam down the phone, and I considered going to my office, and avoiding him completely. I decided to not gloat about it. I didn't want him to know I overheard his conversation after all. I turned around and started to head toward my office when his office door swung open behind me.
Clearing my throat, I turned around and stared at my handsome ex-fiancé. Actually, given that he towered over me, I had to crane my neck and look up at him. His eyes were small slits as he looked ready to kill the next thing that crossed his path – which so happened to be me.
“Mornin'” I muttered, continuing my path to my office.
“Camille, can we talk a minute?”
I froze. I had absolutely no desire to speak to him when he was already in a bad mood. That likely wasn't going to go well for anybody. But, I also knew that I couldn't avoid him forever.
I turned and gave him my best polite smile. “Sure,” I said, trying to keep my tone neutral. “Is it about the annual budget presentation this morning?”
“No, it's more – personal,” he said.
He held open his office door, beckoning me to enter. I grimaced, hoping that his mood wouldn't spill over to our conversation. But, one look at the dark expression on his face, and I already knew better. This was not going to go well.
“Alright, but I only have a few minutes,” I lied.
I had more than enough time. I just didn't want to be around him any longer than absolutely necessary. I couldn't avoid it when the meeting started – we did still have to project a united front – but until then, I was planning on having my assistant handle most of the setup. I just had to show up, put a pleasant smile on my face, and bug out the first chance I got.
Stephen followed me into the office and shut the door behind us. It banged closed with the sound of finality.
I took a seat across from his large, cherry wood desk. He sat in his oversized leather chair, looking at me like he was trying to figure something out. Behind him, you could see the city of Los Angeles in all its glory. The streets were filled with cars and pedestrians hurried from place to place. Beyond the windows, the city was coming to life, but we were the only two people in the office. It was a situation I really didn't like considering the way his phone conversation with Jessica had gone.
The longer he stared at me without speaking, the more uncomfortable I grew beneath his scrutiny.
“Cammy, we need to talk about us,” he finally said.
“Us?” I raised an eyebrow. “I'm pretty sure there's no us, anymore. Unless you mean as co-workers, which sure, maybe we need to make some adjustments so we're both more comfortable around here –”
“That's not what I meant,” he said, cutting me off.
He leaned back in his seat, steepling his fingers in front of him while studying me with a serious look on his face. He'd recently gotten a haircut, and he was freshly shaven. His suit was new, not one I'd seen before, and fit him well. All in all, he was still very much the Stephen I'd fallen in love with over the years. Except, of course, he really wasn't. He was a selfish, cheating prick.
I crossed my legs and waited for him to elaborate. Since it became obvious he was going to make me pull it out of him, I let out a heavy sigh and rolled my eyes.
“Tell me then,” I said. “What is there to discuss about us? I thought things were already more than clear.”
The last words came out like spitfire, dripping with sarcasm. I hadn't intended on it, but the very idea that he'd still refer to us as us annoyed me way more than I thought it would. He and Jessica were an item now, and I was just the CEO of the company we technically owned together.
“Camille, I'm really sorry about how I broke the news to you the other day,” he said.
His voice had softened and he wasn't speaking to me with the same pissed off tone he'd used with Jessica.
“I know I could have been more professional,” he said. “It was just a lot for me to take in right then. I'd just heard the news, and I was over-the-moon about it. But, that was no way to treat you, and I'm sorry.”
I blinked a few times, trying to get a read on his actual motives behind this little conversation. I knew Stephen like the back of my hand and knew he was always playing an angle. There was always a string attached – you just couldn't always see it until it was too late.
“I'm sorry, it was a lot for you to take in?” I asked, my eyes wide with disgust. “What about me? Your fiancé'?”
He flinched as if I'd struck him. Oh, if only I could have. I stood up, preparing to leave. I didn't have a good feeling about this conversation. He'd make it all about himself, and in the process, rub my nose in it even more than he already had. He'd make sure I knew how he was so happy with his new girl and baby, and that it was still somehow all my fault.
Stephen stood too, rushing toward me and taking hold of my arm as I headed for the door.
“Let me go,” I demanded.
“Camille, wait. Just hear me out, please?”
He let go of my arm and crossed his arms in front of him. He looked at me and I could see that he was struggling with something. He was upset, but not at me. Not that I really cared what he was feeling in that moment. I pointedly looked at my watch and then crossed my arms over my chest.
“I just wanted to tell you I don't love Jessica,” he said softly. “I love you. And being without you this last week has made me realize that I don't want to lose you.”
“A little late for that considering the fact that you're starting a family with another woman.”
His jaw tightened, and his eyes narrowed, and I thought he might totally lose it on me. Then, he surprised me by loosening up and heaving a deep sigh.
“I totally deserved that,” he said. “I know I should have talked to you about my concerns. I didn't run to Jessica because our love life was boring. I ran to her because I feared the truth – that you were infertile.”
My heart stopped. “We still don't know that.”
“Come on, Cam,” he said, shooting me a pained look. “I know it's hard for you to hear, but it's obvious that you can't have kids, and my theory was right – that it was you, not me.”
My fists were balled up at my sides, and it took everything in me not to smack the shit out of him. Even still, as he's professing his love for me, he tries to blame me for our failure to conceive. Yeah, I'm the broken one. Not him. Stephen walks on water and he couldn't possibly be to blame for anything. Of course not. Asshole.
I don't know how, but I managed to keep my cool and my fists at my sides. I heard voices in the hallway outside his office, which meant other people were arriving to work. I couldn't make a scene. He was lucky I cared so much about the company and the employees that I restrained myself. I didn't want them caught up in our personal drama, or else I'd have done something to shut him up.
He continued, not even realizing how close he came to getting his teeth knocked out. He even had the gall to take my hands in his. I yanked my hands free, shocked he'd even had the balls to touch me like that after everything we'd been through. He really was one of the most tone-deaf, least self-aware pricks on this planet.
“Anyway, I don't love Jessica, I love you,” he said. “And I realized, we could make this work. You and I could be together. And we could raise my child as our own.”
“Excuse me?” I stammered.
He shot me a crooked smile. “Come on, Cam. I know you still love me too,” he said.
He sidled up to me and smoothly wrapped his arms around my waist, nuzzling my cheek with his lips. I couldn't lie. There was a small part of me that melted a teensy bit beneath his touch. But, that small part of me was snuffed out by the overwhelming sense of rage that filled me.
“Do you remember that trip to Cabo?” he said in a suggestive, flirty tone of voice. “You remember making love on the patio overlooking the water? We have so many good memories, and I know we can make more.”
I swallowed, hard, before putting my hands on Stephen's chest and pushing him away.
“Go to hell, Stephen.”
His smile fell, and he seemed shocked. It was like, in all of his calculations, he hadn't even considered the idea that I might not want him back. Arrogant son of a bitch.
“But we could be a family, Camille,” he said. “I know Jessica doesn't really want this baby, she'd sign it over to us –”
“Did you hear me Stephen?” I asked. “I said go to hell.”
Tears stung my eyes, and I felt my resolve dissipating. I wasn't sure how much longer I could look at him without doing something I'd regret.
“But Camille, just think about it. You might not be able to give me children, but other women can-- and we can raise them as our own,” he said. “It's surrogacy, nothing more.”
His voice – more specifically, his words – helped me find that steel in my spine once more. He didn't get it. He really didn't get it.
“No, surrogacy is when all parties are involved from the beginning,” I hissed. “Not when you cheat, knock a girl up, and try to have your cake and eat it too. If you loved me, you never would have cheated on me.”
“It's not about love, Camille. If anything, I cheated because I loved you,” he said, throwing his hands in the air. “Can't you see that? You can't have kids, and this might be the only way you'll have a family. With me. The man you love.”
“There are other ways, Stephen,” I said. “But you were too selfish to consider anyone but yourself.”
I walked out of his office, shutting the door behind me. I didn't slam it either. I remained calm. Brownie points for me. I wiped my eyes, straightened my posture, and put on a happy face for the employees just starting their day. I had to get through this presentation, but after that, I'd lock myself in my office until it was time to meet Liv.
Part of me feared that if I had to spend a minute longer with that clueless, arrogant prick, that I really might kill him.