CHAPTER FIFTEEN - DEAN
Being back home felt like something out of a twisted nightmare. The day I landed, I rented a car and drove straight to the hospital. I didn’t stop to eat or pee until I saw my little brother. Daniel was lying in the hospital bed, asleep and pale. He looked half dead and the sight made my skin crawl. It almost broke me to see him that way but I knew I couldn’t fall apart. We had to find a way to help him and my mother couldn’t be trusted to do it on her own.
“I want to talk to the doctors,” I told her by way of a greeting. She just nodded and hurried out into the hallway, returning with an older man behind her.
“Hi,” the man said. “You must be Dean. I’m Dr. Henfield. I’ve been working on Daniel’s case for a few months now.”
“What’s going on?” I asked, trying to keep the demand out of my voice.
“Well,” Dr. Henfield began, “the sort version is, your brother got very sick due to a complication with his diabetes. As I’m sure you know, Daniel isn’t the best about monitoring his condition. A few months ago, he was admitted with kidney problems and now things are even more dire.”
“What does that mean?” I snapped.
“He’s in full-fledged kidney failure,” Dr. Henfield said bluntly. “Without a transplant, he won’t live much longer.”
“Is he on any list?” I asked.
“Of course,” Dr. Henfield said with a nod. “We put him on the list immediately, but with his condition it’s going to be hard to find a match. Our best bet will be a relative or someone close to your family. Private donors are often easier to find.”
“When can we get tested?” I asked.
“I’ve already talk to the doctor about that,” my mom said, her voice weak. “We can get tested first thing tomorrow.”
“Good,” I said with a nod. “Good.”
Dr. Henfield waited until he was sure all my questions were answered, then he left. I felt a blind rage working its way through my body that I had to control. It wasn’t Dr. Henfield’s fault and it also wasn’t my mother’s but I still felt angry at them both. Daniel was sick. He’d been sick his entire life and until the last few years, it fell to me to care for him. If he wasn’t keeping up with his insulin, it was because no one was around to make him.
That, more than anything, was why I could barely look my mom in the eye. I was surprised to find her sober when I arrived at the hospital. Still, my anger toward her was strong and it left me without much to say. She tried to illicit some conversation out of me but I wasn’t having it. I flew out here to be with Daniel, not to deal with her fucking drama.
Mom and I were both tested first thing the following morning. It would be a couple days before we received the results, so I went to the house. At first, I thought I would be able to stomach being there again but I quickly proved myself wrong. The second I stepped through the front door, I felt a wave of vomit rise in my throat. I choked it down and left, driving down the road to find a hotel. The best thing about finally having money was the ability to escape fucked up situations. Returning to my childhood home was the most fucked up thing I could imagine.
I stayed at the hotel that night and went back to the hospital first thing in the morning. When I arrived, my mom was gone. I was happy to be alone with Daniel, even if he was unconscious most of the time.
Sitting beside his bed, I sighed and leaned toward him, my eyes trailing over his frail body.
“What the fuck, Daniel?” I asked softly. “How could you let it get this bad? You know how to handle this disease! We’ve been dealing with it your whole damn life. Dammit, Daniel.”
I shook my head and stared down at my hands. My anger was giving way to fear. As I sat beside him, I felt so helpless and out of control. No matter how bad things got, I’d always been able to save my brother. From our mother. From hunger. From the gang. Even from prison when he shot Eric, I could always save him, until now.
Now, I was powerless.
There wasn’t anything I could for Daniel and the longer I sat there, the further my mind drifted. Ever since I arrived back in town, I couldn’t help but think about Caroline. She crossed my mind constantly. I wondered what she was doing with her life now. Thanks to social media and local tabloids, I knew a little about her life.
She left Yale to attend art school. When I found out about that, I was so proud of her. She was finally going against her parents’ plan for her life. I wanted to call her but I stopped myself, knowing I would only cause her more pain.
After art school, I knew she stayed in Austin but I didn’t know where she lived now. Everywhere I went, I thought I saw her. When a blonde walked by, I did a double take, sure that it would be Caroline’s bright blue eyes staring back at me. It never was. I’d only been home for two days and already, her memory haunted me.
As I sat beside Daniel’s bed, I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist much longer. I wanted to see her but I couldn’t just call her. I didn’t even have her number anymore. Instead, I decided to reach out to Stephanie. She, more than anyone, would know what was going on in Caroline’s life.
***
I sat in the dining room of the country club, feeling awkward and out of place. Despite the fact that I now had more money than most, I still didn’t feel like I belonged here. When Stephanie suggested meeting here, I immediately knew it was a bad idea, but I pushed the nerves away and agreed.
“Dean,” Stephanie said as she sat down across from me. “I’m glad you called.”
“You are?” I asked, surprised. “I figured you would hate me by now.”
“No,” she said, laughing. “Not at all.”
“I won’t lie to you,” I said bluntly. “I only called you to ask about Caroline.”
“I know.” Stephanie’s eyes locked on mine. They were dark brown and full of understanding. I knew then that she had been the right person to call. “It’s not as if you and I were ever friends.”
“No.” I chuckled. “We weren’t.”
“Well, what do you want to know, Dean?” Stephanie asked.
I hesitate, unsure of where to begin. Truthfully, I just wanted to know how Caroline was but I didn’t know if I even deserved that much. Luckily, I was saved by the waitress who came over to take our order. We ordered lunch, and I finally found my voice again.
“How is she?” I asked. “I guess that’s all I want to know.”
“You know, she tried to visit you,” Stephanie said sadly. “After you ended things. She went back but they said you wouldn’t see her.”
“What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t let her wait for me. Not while I was rotting away in there.”
“You didn’t have to push her away,” Stephanie said. “She would have stood by you.”
“That’s exactly why I pushed her away,” I said. “She deserved better than that.”
“Well,” Stephanie said, a satisfied smile on her face. I knew she’d been testing me, trying to figure out what my real intentions were with Caroline. “She’s doing okay. She hasn’t dated much though, not since you.”
“I haven’t exactly been out there falling in love either,” I admitted. “Dating options are really fucking limited in prison.”
Stephanie laughed just as our food arrived at the table. We caught up a little over lunch, and then the conversation turned back to Caroline.
“She wants to open an art gallery,” Stephanie said. “An art shop with a café that will be like a safe-haven for local artists. She’ll feature all kinds of art, not just paintings. She even wants to put in a stage for live music performances and spoken word poetry.”
I smiled as Stephanie told me all about Caroline’s grand plans. That sounded exactly like Caroline. When we knew each other, she was unsure about her future. Her parents were always pushing her toward marriage, constantly pairing her up with the sons of their rich friends. It was disgusting.
Deep down, I always knew Caroline would rebel. She had an artistic soul that longed to be free. I was just happy she finally realized what her true passion was in life.
“Why hasn’t she opened it yet?” I asked.
“Money,” Stephanie said simply.
“Her parents?” I asked.
“She won’t take a penny from them,” Stephanie said. “She says she doesn’t want them to own her.”
I grinned and nodded, prouder than ever.
“I want to invest,” I said suddenly. Stephanie’s head snapped up to meet my gaze. I could tell she thought I was kidding but the steely glint in my eyes told her I wasn’t.
“You do?” she asked.
“I do,” I said with a nod. “I know Caroline. She’s smart and she’s talented. More talented than anyone I’ve ever met. Even before she knew what she wanted, she exuded creativity. This would be perfect for her.”
“I agree,” Stephanie said. “But—”
“I just want to help her, Stephanie,” I said. “If this is what she wants out of life, then I want to help her get it.”
Stephanie considered me for a second, her eyes searching my face for some sign of insincerity. She didn’t find any. My intentions were nothing but honorable. Caroline’s idea was great, and I wanted nothing more than to help her bring it to fruition. While she looked at me, Stephanie realized how serious I was and a small smile crept across her face.