Lauren

 

Mr. Rossi walked around the outside of the drawing horses, looking over our shoulders. “Flip,” he said in a loud, distinct voice.

With a sigh, I flipped my current page of drawing paper, to the back. I stared at the fresh sheet and wondered if this one would finally work.

“Preston, change please,” Rossi said, his voice short and dynamic as always.

Preston was one of our regular models, a muscular guy with a big head, physically and figuratively. For a moment he froze as if he didn’t know what to do with his own body. He’d done so many poses during the last thirty minutes, I doubted he could come up with anything original.

Eventually, he settled into a runner’s starting position with his balance held on the tips of his fingers, his head down, and one leg stretched back behind him.

Unfortunately for me, this pose gave me a difficult angle since he was facing me directly. It created all kinds of struggles like foreshortening and proportional oddities. I considered moving to a different place, but the circle was tight and squeezing myself in somewhere would have been awkward. Besides, I didn’t back down from a challenge.

Mr. Rossi came up behind me and said, “Good luck.”

Great. That gave me a lot of confidence.

“Begin,” he said to the class, still standing behind me.

I drew, intensely aware of Mr. Rossi behind me the whole time. In just a few seconds of sketching, the form took shape on my paper. I allowed the synergy between my brain, eyes, and arm to flow unrestrained. Something magical began to happen. Fortunately, Mr. Rossi told us to stop before I could ruin it.

I sat back to see what I’d accomplished, but before I could so much as glance at it, Mr. Rossi plucked my board from my drawing horse and walked with it to the platform.

“I want you all to see this,” he said to the class, motioning for everyone to gather around.

Holding my breath, I prayed he wasn’t about to rip me to shreds as I’d heard him do to others.

“It’s not perfect, but she did a gesture drawing exactly the way I’ve been trying to get the rest of you to do. She used the whole page and as she drew, her entire body was involved. You can’t channel the energy and movement of a pose if you are just drawing with your hand. Look, you can see the life in the simple strokes and she caught the feeling, the weight, the presence. Now go home and figure out how you’re going to come back to class on Wednesday and draw like this.”

I was at once euphoric and embarrassed as I put my paper away and stacked my drawing horse against the wall with the others. I hesitated to meet anybody’s eyes, afraid of what I might see in them. But I couldn’t help the bounce in my step as I swung my backpack on and headed out to my Psychology class.

For the next hour, I felt as though my heart was going to float right up into the air. All I wanted to do was talk to someone about it.

When class was over, I walked briskly down the sidewalk that led back to the art building, enjoying the cool breeze on my face. I texted my mom, but didn’t get a response. I could text Natalie or Beth, but neither of them would get what I was so excited about. I only considered Nick for three seconds. He’d never cared much about my art, and…there was a gaping disconnect between us.

A pang of aloneness struck me as I went to the janitor’s closet to get a scraper and start work for the day. Maybe a couple of hours attacking the paint on the studio floor would help me refocus.

Then I heard footsteps behind me and I turned to see Jake walking towards me. He had a huge grin on his face. “I hear you kicked butt in figure drawing today.”

I smiled back at him, basking in the warmth of his excitement. Overwhelmed by having someone who understood, I leapt forward and threw my arms around him in a hug. With my arms looped around his neck, I tightened my hold, pulling him down to me so I could squeeze him tighter.

For a few seconds, he stayed there, bent towards me, not moving, but returning the hug. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but don’t stop,” he whispered

My body hummed in tune with my heart, but now with a whole new set of emotions—dangerous and amazing ones. The air around us changed, crackling with energy. His chest felt so solid against mine, and his lips were so very close.

“Jake,” I said in a half plea, half question.

He sighed and pushed me gently away. “I know.”

When he turned to walk away, I grabbed his arm. “I’m sorry. It meant a lot to me to share my little victory with someone. I didn’t mean to get carried away.”

Jake nodded and smiled gently, though the fire in his eyes said his feelings were far from calm. “If you ever want to really get carried away, let me know.”

He strode away down the hall as if he had to put as much distance between us as he could, as quickly as possible. I stared after him, wondering how to get rid of the dang-blasted euphoria surging through my heart.

 

***

 

Later that night, I decided to take my mind off Jake by hanging one of my finished paintings up in the living room. It was the pretty, sun-filled landscape I’d painted at Irma’s. It had won her approval, so it had to be good enough to hang on the wall. I’d just pushed some tacks into the wall across from the couch when Natalie came in.

She hung up her keys, dropped her purse, and kicked off her heels like she did every time she came home. “Man, I’m glad to see the end of that day. How about you?”

“I had an awesome day, actually,” I said, hoping she wouldn’t ask for details. If she did, I’d have to stick to my drawing class victory. There was no way I could tell her about the hug.

After feeling the way I did in Jake’s arms, I knew Nick and I were over. I had nothing warm left inside me for him. Breaking up was just a scary formality I had to get through. But Nick wasn’t the only obstacle between me and Jake. I had no idea what to do about Natalie.

If only I was brave enough to talk to her about Jake, but the words, “Natalie, we’re both crushing on the same guy” wouldn’t come out.

While I was writhing with unsaid words and indecision, Natalie ate a piece of chocolate. “You know,” she said, her voice thick, “I’m surprised you aren’t out with Nick. He said he had the night off.”

Before I could answer, the front door opened and Beth came in, carrying plastic shopping bags. She looked between us as she dropped them on the counter. “I hope you two aren’t busy tonight. I rented a movie and got way too much junk food to eat alone.”

“Did you have a bad day too?” Natalie asked, leaning back against the counter and crossing her arms.

“The worst. I bombed a calculus test today and broke two fingernails trying to pry the case off my phone. I dropped it in the sink while I was washing my hands so I needed to dry it off before the water got inside. I’m scared to turn it back on until I put it in rice for a while. And the kicker is, I was hoping Brandon would call me tonight.”

“Impressive,” I said. “Who’s Brandon?”

“A super cute guy who goes to the University of Arkansas.”

Natalie stood up suddenly. “I’m not in the mood to talk about guys. I’m going to shower and go to bed early.”

Beth spun and grabbed her arm. “You’re not getting out of this. Go shower if you want, but we’re having a girls’ night. Even if we have to do it on your bed.”

Sighing, Natalie said, “Whatever. Give me a little while.”

When she disappeared upstairs, I sat on one of the bar stools while Beth unpacked her bags. She dropped candy, chips, dip and ice cream on the counter.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked.

“Sure. A little indigestion never hurt anyone.”

I raised an eyebrow and she sighed as she tore open a bag of miniature candy bars and handed me one. “Look, let’s enjoy a night together while we’re all still friends.”

I shifted uncomfortably. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Beth chewed on her chocolate for a second, then said, “Regardless of what happens between you and Jake, Natalie is clearly figuring out that she and Jake aren’t going to happen.”

Bracing my elbows on the counter, I buried my face in my hands. “Why is this happening?”

Beth grabbed my arm and shook it gently until I looked at her, then said, “If Jake and Natalie were meant for each other, they would have gotten together a long time before you got here. But they didn’t, and she’s wasted too much time on him. Maybe if Jake isn’t available, she’ll get over him and move on.”

The front door opened again and Renee came in. “You guys having a party?” she asked, seeing all the food on the counter.

“No, we’re having a girls’ night. Want to join us?”

Renee shook her head and flashed a gloating smile. “Nope. I have plans.”

“Too bad,” Beth said, not sounding a bit sorry.

By the time Natalie came downstairs wearing pajamas, Renee was on her way out again. “Don’t wait up for me,” she said, casting me another glance. Which was totally weird since she’d basically ignored my existence since the first week I’d moved in.

Beth watched her leave with a frown. I just shook my head and said, “Forgive me for not missing her.”

Natalie was busy winding her long, wet hair into a bun on top of her head. “So, what are we doing? Watching a chick flick? Or something truly juvenile like playing truth or dare?”

Tugging on my pony tail, Beth said, “We could play with Lauren’s hair. Maybe some highlights?”

“No way,” I said.

“Let’s chop it all off,” Beth suggested. “A pixie cut would look cute on her.”

Natalie tapped her finger against her mouth, thinking. “How about a perm?”

I shook a finger at them. “You guys are not touching my hair.”

Natalie grabbed a bag of chips and flopped down on the couch. “Personally, I don’t care what we do besides eat. I find that I don’t give a flipping care about my figure at the moment.”

“Why’s that?” Beth asked, sitting across from her, but meeting my eyes across the room.

Dropping the bag of chips on the ground, Natalie sat up. “Okay, so you both know I’m in love with Jake, right?”

Wait…She was in love with him?

But Beth nodded and Natalie continued, “At first, we were flirting and dating. I thought we were really clicking. But lately, it’s almost like he’s avoiding me. What do you think, Lauren? I mean, you guys are friends, right?”

I nodded, but my brain stumbled with what to say. “I don’t know. But he’d be crazy not to like you,” I said. At least that was honest. Even in full-on slob mode, Natalie was more gorgeous than I was at my best.

Natalie nodded as if this was obvious. “You know what I think it is? I think he’s afraid of commitment and when our relationship verged on getting serious he freaked out. That’s why he said what he did Monday night.”

“What did he say?” Beth asked.

She shrugged. “We were arguing about your game, and he said he thought it was stupid that I asked how many kids he wanted someday because I’d never need to know that.”

I locked eyes with Beth, but then Natalie started crying and we looked at her in shock.

“What am I going to do?” Natalie asked, though it was hard to understand through her sobs.

She pulled her knees close to her chest and cried into them. How do you comfort a girl who’s crying over the guy you have feelings for too? Put an arm around her and say, “I know how you feel?” Except, I was positive Jake did have feelings for me. Natalie would be even more heartbroken if she found out.

It was too much. I couldn’t handle this.

Then Natalie sat up and looked at both of us with big, red eyes. “Well, I’m not giving up. You’ll help me won’t you?”