Lauren

 

Saying goodnight to Jake had hurt. Without even realizing it, all the loyalties of my heart had transferred to him. But as I went to the bathroom with a towel and pajamas, I knew what hurt the most was the look on his face when I kept pushing him away. I sighed and turned on the shower to get hot, hoping to steam away all this tension. I was about to pull off my dress when I heard someone knock on the front door. They must have pounded on it for me to hear it over the shower.

My stomach knotted as I realized it was probably Nick. I’d ignored all the messages he’d sent me after I’d let him know I was leaving. The last thing I wanted to do was face him tonight, but it would also be a relief to get it over with.

I left the water running, determined that this wouldn’t take long, and went to open the door. As I laid my hand on the knob, the pounding started again, startling me. Now I was angry.

I swung the door open but nearly closed it again when I saw the look on his face. Before I could, he stepped inside, jerking the door out of my hands to slam it shut.

“Nick, we need to…”

But before I could finish, he grabbed hold of my arms. Guessing his intention, I turned my head away, but he still forced a kiss on my unwilling lips, though he could only reach the side of them.

“Stop it,” I screamed. “Let go of me.”

He pushed me away and I stumbled back, barely catching myself from falling. I dropped down on the bottom stair, and covered my face with my hands. “What is wrong with you?”

“What’s the matter? Don’t want to kiss your boyfriend?”

“That wasn’t a kiss, Nick, and you know it. You were attacking me.”

“Whatever. If I was someone else, you’d be all over it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you think I’m an idiot? You’re in love with Jake.”

I dropped my hands and met his hard eyes. “If that’s what you think, what was this all about?”

Nick paced around the room, his red face a burning sign of his emotional state. When he responded, he yelled instead of spoke. “I’m reminding you that you’re mine.”

What would my dad and brothers think of me, cringing on the stairs while a guy yelled and claimed to own me? I stood up and said, “I don’t belong to anybody, especially not you. We’re done.”

“You’re breaking up with me?”

He sounded so incredulous that I said, “Oh yeah. And it’s long overdue.”

In a flash, his face hardened. “That’s for sure. I’ve been wanting to break up with you almost since you moved out here.”

His words stung—even though I was completely over him. And they didn’t even add up, so he was just striking back at me however he could. I stared at his familiar features, trying to figure out how I had missed this cruel, angry side of him. “Go home, Nick.”

His top lip rose on one side in a sneer. “No, Lauren, you go home.” Then he turned and left, slamming the door behind him.

I stood frozen in front of the stairs, trying to figure out what had just happened. In a daze, I returned to the bathroom, stripped off my clothes, and stepped under the water. The water was only lukewarm after running so long, but I felt too numb to care. Pain simmered just beyond my reach, and telling myself that at least it was over didn’t help.

Before the dance, Beth had insisted on making me glamorous with all her specialty hair products and lipstick and mascara. I’d felt pretty when she was done, but it was a relief to wash it all away. The makeup, the hairspray, the hurt.

The hot water ran out before my tears did, so I got out and pulled on my clothes, then flopped on my bed. I stared at the popcorn ceiling until I heard someone come home. I looked at my phone and saw that it was way too early for anyone to be here. A few seconds later, Beth burst into the room.

When she saw me, she called out, “She looks awful. You’d better get in here.”

I wondered who she was inviting into my bedroom, then heard Jake say, “What do you mean, she looks awful?” His voice was deep with concern and getting closer as he spoke. He came into my room and looked at me over Beth’s shoulder. “Oh,” he said.

I groaned. He was the last person I wanted to see me like this, all tear-stained and snotty.

Beth plopped down on my air mattress, which made me bounce up and down. I laughed a little despite myself. “Don’t pop my bed,” I said. “That’s the last thing I need.”

“Well why in the world haven’t you gotten a real bed yet?” she chastised me.

“Because I like this one. And it’s free.”

Jake stood in the doorway with his arms crossed. His jaw was tight and his hands gripped his biceps. “Beth called me when she found out Nick left the dance to go find you. What happened?”

I sighed and sat up. I had a feeling I shouldn’t tell Jake all the details. “We had a fight.” I grabbed a rubber band off my bedside table and twisted my wet hair up into a bun. “I broke up with him.”

“Good for you. How’d he take it?” Beth asked.

“Not well. He told me to go back to New Mexico.” I looked up at Beth. “Do you think Natalie will kick me out since I broke up with Nick?”

“No way!” Beth assured me.

“And if she does, we’ll help you figure it out. Heck, you could even live with Grams,” Jake said.

“But she won’t,” Beth said. “And now you won’t have Nick making you miserable anymore.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Jake said. Then he leaned toward me, his eyes intense. He put his hands over mine, squeezing them. “I know you are keeping stuff from me, Lauren, but I’m not going to press you to tell me everything tonight. Call me if you need me. And I mean for anything.”

“Do you have to leave?”

His lips pulled up in smile. “Do you want me to kick Beth out of here? I have a few ideas on how to make you feel better.”

It was so incredibly tempting, like an invitation to paradise. But I couldn’t do that to Natalie. I’d seen her face earlier when she danced with Jake. So, I dug up the strength and shook my head no. “Can I call you tomorrow?”

He cupped my cheek with his hand. “You’d better.”

When he left, I touched my still warm cheek and stared after him.

“Oh, girl,” Beth said.

I looked over and saw her shaking her head. Before I could say anything, she reached out and pulled me into a hug. Only then did I realize how much I needed one. I relaxed for a moment then withdrew.

“I just don’t understand any of this. Before I came here, I prayed about it—really hard. And I had a good feeling about it, like this is what I was supposed to do. But it hasn’t even been two months yet, and everything is a disaster.”

Beth lay back against one of my pillows and said, “Well, you don’t have to figure it out tonight. Why don’t you tell me exactly what happened with Nick? I don’t know if I should go after him with a shotgun or send him a sympathy card.”