Chapter Thirty-Two

ETHAN

Before I leave my parents’ house with Riley in tow to go to Nathan’s for Thanksgiving dinner, I know I have to talk to my mom and dad and make sure everyone’s on the same page. I have to wonder if Lara’s doing the same thing with Nathan, right now, as I’m doing it. Riley’s in another room, getting the last few minutes of play in before we have to leave.

“Mom, Dad, I want to talk to you for a few minutes before we leave for Nathan’s house,” I say.

“What’s on your mind?” Dad asks. I sit down across from my parents at the kitchen table, and try to think of how to phrase what I know I need to say without making things overly dramatic right before we need to leave.

“I want to talk about the court stuff going on before we go over there, because once we’re there Lara and I both agreed there’s going to be no discussion of it at all, especially in front of Riley,” I tell them.

“That seems fair,” Mom says.

I take a quick, deep breath. “Both Lara and I want you to drop your case against Nathan and Lara,” I tell them.

“I can see why Lara would want that, but are you sure that it’s the best thing for you?” Dad says, looking at Mom. Dad crosses his arms over his chest and looks at me, and I get that same feeling I used to have when he would ask me about what I thought my future was going to look like when I was in high school.

“Ethan, we’re looking out for you, that’s all. And for Riley too,” Mom adds.

“Lara and I both want to do what Alexis asked of us. We’re working together on this, and we’re going to raise Riley together,” I say firmly.

“It just seems suspicious to us that the girl who cut her own sister out of her life now apparently wants to co-parent with you,” Mom points out.

“Lara’s got every reason to still be pissed at you,” my dad says looking at me and then my mom. “How do you know she’s not just keeping you thinking you’re on the same side while waiting for her father to get custody for her?”

Dad raises an eyebrow as he asks me the question and I have to wonder just how long it’s going to take for all of us to learn to trust again, and how much of this whole mess is my fault, at least as an origin point. I can’t take the blame for everything, but if I had never taken up with Alexis, none of us would be here right now, including Riley.

“She and I have worked things out about the situation with Alexis, and we’ve agreed on what we’re going to do and how we want to do it,” I say.

“Oh, you have?” Mom looks at me doubtfully.

“We have. And we’ve both agreed that if you two and Nathan won’t drop your cases, we’re going to make it as hard as possible for you to get what you want from the courts,” I tell them.

“How on earth are you going to do that?” Dad looks at me with a little bit of surprise on his face.

“The courts are obviously going to have us testify during the process, and Lara and I both agreed that we’re going to use that opportunity to block you, if we absolutely have to, you two and Nathan, all of you.” I sit there in silence for a moment, letting them absorb what I’ve said.

“You’d really do that? How do you know Lara’s going to follow through on her end?” Dad looks more shaken by what I’ve said than Mom does, but she’s definitely getting to the point faster.

“I know because I trust her, and because we’ve worked this out between the two of us,” I say. There are other details that Lara and I have talked about since Riley’s birthday and since we got the news about her dad’s suit and my parents’ counter-action, but I’m not about to reveal our joint hand to my parents. It’s important though, like Lara said a few days ago, to give them the chance to back down on their own.

“We just want to look out for you, and for Riley,” Dad says.

I shrug off his comment. “I get that, I really do. But you’re not actually doing that. What you’re doing is taking Nathan’s bait and excluding me, and Riley, from what you’re trying to do for our sake. And before you bring it up again, Mom, Lara had no part in what Nathan is doing. She’s made her peace with me, and she’s here for Riley. She wants what’s best for Riley, and so do I. If the two of you won’t drop the case against Lara and Nathan, then you’re not interested in what’s best for my daughter, and I have to come out against you. It’s that simple.”

My parents don’t have much to say to that, and anyway it’s nearly time to leave for Nathan’s house. I know things are going to be tense, and I want Lara to have at least a little bit of time to get herself composed and under control before we get there. I send her a text letting her know we should be there soon.

She messages back that she’s as ready as she’ll ever be, and once again, even if it’s not quite in the same way, she reminds me a bit of Alexis. I’m not really sure how to feel about the way that I’m getting over losing the mother of my child. I feel like I should be destroyed for years to come. I feel like if I were a good person, I wouldn’t even be able to notice another woman, much less my sister-in-law, for at least a good year or two.

But I know I can’t help what I’m feeling. And even if it’s just that Lara is familiar, and comforting, and that I know her and know I can trust her, that’s why I feel that way. I know I feel better working with her, talking to her about Riley, even having dinner with the three of us at the table, than in any other situation my life puts me in. It’s not the same as having Alexis in my life still, it’s something different.

But it’s something that I know I need, that I know is good for me, my daughter and for Lara, and I’m not going to let Riley’s grandparents, any of them, take that away from us. We just have to make sure that if we do end up having to go to court, we go in to win.

Before I know it, I’m in the car headed to Nathan’s house, and Riley is chattering to my mom, and Dad is sitting next to me in the passenger seat looking annoyed but keeping his temper. I sure as hell hope that Lara is ready for what Thanksgiving is going to be like, because I’m not sure any of us really can be. I know we just have to get through it. The court dates are ahead of us all if we don’t manage to bring everyone together, and the first one is just a little bit before Christmas. We have to pull this off, one way or another.