chapter 17
HE COMES INTO MY office, and I’m surprised to see him. I didn’t know he was coming back to work today, and I sure as hell didn’t expect him to come see me. It’s been a whole week without any contact, not so much as a text message, and now he’s standing in front of me and I’m not sure what to say.
“Hey,” he says, walking over to my desk. Do I hug him? Kiss him? I don’t know, so I don’t do anything. I sit there and wait for him to say something else. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. I wasn’t really on my phone much; I kind of went off the grid. I took the kids away for a few days, we went camping.”
“Sounds nice,” I say, forcing a smile.
Before, I would have been invited too, but now I’m not part of the family anymore. Still, this isn’t about me, it’s about him and it’s about Logan.
“How are the kids?” I ask him, closing my laptop and giving him my full attention.
“They’re good,” he says, nodding. “Logan doesn’t know about anything, so . . .” He trails off and then clears his throat. “And they had a great time going away. What have I missed while I’ve been gone?”
Work? He wants to talk about work right now? Is he just going to ignore the fact that he forgot about me? Pushed me away? Because the elephant in the room isn’t going to leave until it’s addressed.
“Nothing big,” I tell him, staring up at him. Just my heart breaking. “I heard that Franklin applied to the courts for the DNA test.”
Tristan nods but says nothing else, so I don’t push.
“Thank you for coming to see me,” I tell him, even though it feels so weird between us now. I don’t know what to say. I hurt for him, but I’m also a little bit upset with being pushed aside. Why won’t he let me be there for him?
Doesn’t he get that when he hurts, I hurt too?
He can’t make me love his family and then take them all away from me, himself included. It just doesn’t work like that, and I don’t know how to fix it.
Does he even want to fix it?
Yvonne comes into the room. “Tristan, your client is here, do you want me to tell them to wait in your office?”
He nods. “Yes please, Yvonne.”
She leaves, and we’re left alone and speechless again.
“Can we talk later?” he asks, reaching his arm out, but then he drops it.
“Sure,” I say, nodding.
He leaves, and I exhale.
I don’t know how we’re going to fix this, but I want to. So that means something, right? He just needs to understand that I’m in this with him. I care about those little kids, and I’m falling in love with him. If he doesn’t want me, it will be better to know now than later on.
But I’m not going down without a fight.
I’M WALKING TO MY car after work when he calls out my name. I turn and then he’s in front of me, his familiar scent filling me, consuming me.
“We need to talk,” he says, cupping my cheek with his hand.
I remove his hand from my face. “You’re pushing me away,” I tell him before he can say anything else. “You gave me you and your family, brought them into my life, and then when shit got tough, you took them all away. I’m either in or out, Tristan. I know you’re going through something really hard right now, but I want to be there for you. I don’t want to be on the outside looking in, especially if you’re in pain. I want to be there with you, during the good times and the bad. And if you want to be with me, you don’t get to choose when I’m in attendance.”
I take a deep breath, and wait to hear his opposing statement, but all he does is tuck my hair back behind my ear and say, “I’m sorry.”
I open my mouth, then close it. “You’re . . . sorry?”
He nods. “I shouldn’t have shut you out. I’m sorry. You’re right, and thank you for giving me time alone to work everything out in my head.”
I lick my lips. “So you still want us?”
I hold my breath as I wait for his answer.
“Of course I want us, Kat. What we have between us, it’s worth fighting for; I know it in my gut. I just needed to clear some things in my head, things that didn’t have anything to do with you.”
His wife.
He kisses my forehead, then my nose. “Come home with me. Logan and Laura have been asking about you, and the house hasn’t been the same without you in it.”
“What are we going to do about the Logan thing?” I ask him, pressing my body against his. “He’s going to get the DNA test.”
“We will handle it when it happens,” he tells me, kissing the top of my head. “I don’t want to think about it today, I just want to hold you, and fucking thank you for picking up my slack while I’ve been gone. Yvonne and Hunter told me all the work you’ve been doing. Basically covered my ass, Kat.”
“I’m a ride-or-die chick,” I say, making him chuckle.
The sound is music to my ears.
We go back to his place, and I get hugs from both kids.
“Kat,” Laura says, wringing her hands together. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too, sweetie,” I tell her, giving her a warm hug. “And you’ve cut your hair—it looks beautiful.”
“Thanks.” She beams, sitting on the other side of me. “Is Dad cooking again?”
“Yep, he insisted,” I tell her, then whisper, “I suggested pizza, but he needs to look after his body, you know.”
She laughs. “Healthy food is important to him.”
We watch Hercules and then all have dinner together. In the back of my mind I have to wonder what will happen if Tristan ever pushes me away again. The closer I get to all of them, the more it will hurt, the harder it will be.
But what’s life without a little gamble?
And I can’t think of anything more worthy to gamble on than love.