CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ben
I stared at the phone. It didn’t ring as much as it had when I first arrived, but that was because I had talked to everyone but her. They all knew I was hiding out. Except for a few extra calls from Rick, my team seemed to respect my decision to take some time off. What they didn’t realize was that the time off wasn’t temporary.
I watched the steam swirl from the coffee cup and glanced back at the phone. When I woke up this morning, I hadn’t even thought about her. But once I settled into the camper’s red vinyl booth, she was all I could think about. I knew it was time. I opened the missed calls on my screen and tapped her name. It was at the top.
“Ben? Oh my God, Ben.” Her voice was frantic.
“Hey.” I sipped my coffee. I felt steady and calm, something I wasn’t expecting when I heard her voice on the other end of the phone.
“I’ve tried to call and I left messages and texts. Why didn’t you answer any of them? It’s been two weeks.”
The waves rolled onto the shore. These questions were bound to come up. I knew she would have tons of them along with excuses. “Because, Rebecca, I didn’t feel like talking.”
Words tumbled from her mouth. “I know you saw the pictures. And it was a mistake. I promise. Nothing else happened. I was in Hawaii, we had all this down time, and it didn’t mean anything. I swear, Ben. I didn’t know the paps were following me.”
I found that hard to believe. When wasn’t she picture ready? Her explanations didn’t matter. I needed to get this over with.
“What you need to know is that I’m not mad at you. That’s not why I called.” I was already going off script. I had a planned speech, but given the circumstances, it seemed kind of stupid to use.
“But you don’t sound like yourself. I totally get why you’d be mad at me. You have to know the whole thing is a mis—”
“Becs, would you just listen?” I cut her off more harshly than I intended.
“Ok, ok, why did you call? I’m listening.” She exhaled into the phone. I knew her full lips were pouting wherever she was.
“I called to tell you I’m sorry. Sorry about everything that happened.”
“What? I-I don’t understand.” Her voice slowed.
I couldn’t expect her to know the layers behind my words. She hadn’t been along for my soul-searching journey.
“I can’t blame you for spending time with someone else when I wasn’t around. Ever. I checked out a long time ago, Becs. That wasn’t your fault.”
“But you were around. It is my fault. Totally my fault. I’m sorry you saw the pictures. Can we just talk in person? I’ll come to wherever you are. Let’s just talk about this. Please, Ben.”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea, darlin’.”
If I even considered trying to put the relationship together again, it was always going to end up this way. I wasn’t in love with her, and I knew it was because I had never given her the time or the chance she deserved. Now with the pictures and the headlines, I wouldn’t be able to get past it long enough for a do-over.
“Now I’m really confused.” She sounded shaky.
I thought about the time we spent together. How the only reason we dated was to play up the romance in Wanted during the premiere month. Both of our publicists had pushed the idea. It was supposed to end there, but we had fallen into a pattern of going out together, posing for pictures, eating in hot-spot restaurants, and spurring the paparazzi frenzy until we couldn’t have pizza delivered without suspecting the pizza guy had a camera in the box. It was a relationship created to fuel our careers, and it had put us both in a fishbowl we couldn’t swim out of. The only difference was that Rebecca thrived in the fishbowl. She loved every flashing camera and autograph request. I only wanted to get a cup of coffee without women tearing at my jacket or giggling profusely when I said hello. It was all too much.
“Rebecca, I think it’s best if we just call this what it is. Over.” I dumped my coffee in the sink and reached in the mini-fridge for a beer.
“But I miss you. Like really miss you. I’m sorry, really sorry.” Her voice cracked and I winced at the sound. I didn’t want to be someone she missed.
I tried to think if I missed her. There was no denying she was beautiful—gorgeous by any man’s standards. But even after the dating had turned from publicity stunt to voluntary, I knew there was something missing. I couldn’t help but think she was with me to toss her star a little higher in the sky. Her love for me always seemed the brightest when a camera was nearby.
“I’m sorry. I called to tell you that and to let you know I’m not mad. I don’t want you to think I’m mad.” According to the grocery store headlines, I was in hiding with a broken heart, plotting a comeback with a bombshell supermodel.
“Can’t you give us another chance? Just talk about it at least? You told me you wanted to take me home to meet your family. We were supposed to go to Texas. Let’s do that. We can go to the ranch and get away from the cameras. I’ve always wanted to see where you live. As much as you talked about Texas I always felt like I’d actually been there with you. We need to be alone. Just you and me.”
It was hard to hear. I didn’t expect it. She wasn’t supposed to fight me on this, but for some reason, Rebecca was grasping at straws and clawing for memories and promises that shouldn’t have been made.
“Darlin’, we both know we were only together for the movie. Don’t spin it into something it wasn’t.”
Although, I was starting to doubt what it was we had. Was she more genuine and sincere than I realized? Maybe I was the one doing the spinning. Everything was muddled and blurry.
It didn’t matter. We couldn’t start over. The media would always be the third person in our relationship, and I was done living my love life on the front page.
“Damn it, Ben. It was not just a publicity tactic. That trip to Cabo? We fucked an entire weekend. That meant something to me. And that night in San Francisco? Really, that was all for our images? There were no cameras; it was you and me. You’re a real asshole, you know that!”
I took a swig of the cold beer. At least if she was mad at me she would stop trying to stir up feelings. “I just needed to say it. Set things straight. Ok?” I paused. “Take care, Becs. Maybe we’ll run into each other again.” This was not the time to tell her I had walked my last red carpet. That would really set her off.
“Take care? Who am I even talking to? Why didn’t you just text me a break up?”
I sighed. “It’s not even a break up. You moved on weeks ago. You slept with someone else. This is more of a good-bye.”
“I told you I was sorry about Hawaii. Ben, come on. Tell me where you are. You’re sounding crazy and not like yourself at all. Say something that makes sense. Say something that sounds like Ben Baldwin,” she pleaded.
I closed my eyes. This had to be it. Everything there was to talk about had been said. There wasn’t any reason to drag it out. The longer I stayed on the phone, the longer she had to surprise me with more memories we shared. I didn’t want that.
“Goodbye, Becs.” I slid the phone across the table and finished off the beer.
It was over. She wouldn’t call or text anymore. If she did, it was her own damn fault for not listening. This was all for the better. One day she would realize it. I hoped, for her sake, it didn’t take her two weeks on a lonely beach to figure it out.
***
The water was calm again today. I didn’t know if it was normal for the ocean to be like this two days in a row, but I had a feeling I should make the most of it.
I opened the door to the campground office. “Good morning, Flo.”
“Well, hey, Jake.” She thumbed through a gardening magazine and glanced in my direction.
“I’m headed into town. I was hoping you might be able to tell me if there’s a place to rent those kayaks I keep seeing out there.” I pointed to the orange and blue boats drifting near the shore.
“Kayaks? You mean you’re not going to sit and drink on the beach all day?” She cleared her throat and flipped to a page on summer gardenias.
I shoved my hands in my pockets. I hadn’t cared much about what people thought about me. I didn’t want them to think about me at all, but Flo’s accurate description stung a little. From a distance, I could see where people might get the wrong impression of me.
“I thought I should see the beach from the waterside.” I laughed, trying to charm her with my usual finesse, but she was one woman who wouldn’t take the bait.
“They rent them out there at Davis General Store. Behind the store, there’s a stand on the docks.” The gardenia feature must be fascinating, although I knew they couldn’t grow anything at the campground. There wasn’t any soil, only sand.
“Thanks, Flo. I appreciate it.” I turned for the screen door.
“How’s that book of yours coming along?”
“Book?” I froze. “Oh yeah, it’s going. Taking me a little longer to write than I expected.”
“Good thing you’re here for the whole summer, I guess.” She placed the magazine on the desk.
I couldn’t help but think she saw right through my flimsy cover story. If she did, she didn’t mention it.
“Tell Carl I said hello.” I knew he was down on the beach surf fishing. He was out every day with a pole and a chair.
“Will do.” She picked the magazine up.
I closed the door behind me and strolled to the Jeep. I had left it running in front of the office. It was a small campground, and other than Alice, I thought most people stayed only a night or two before moving on. It made sense Flora would know my habits.
I felt a little guilty about the drinking. The last thing I wanted was to be known as the campground drunk. I turned onto the road that led to the village and vowed to cut back on the beer. Five o’clock was an acceptable cocktail hour—no more beer for breakfast. I leaned over, cranked up a song on the radio, and let the wind blow through my hair.
I hadn’t returned to the general store since my first morning on the island. The grocery store had more produce, and despite all the beer, I did like to have fresh fruit. As I pulled into an open parking space in front of Davis, I noticed the docks behind the store for the first time. There was a wooden stand with Rentals written in blue. It looked like the store carried kayaks, canoes, snorkel sets, and fishing gear.
I hopped on the boardwalk and strolled to the boat slips where the rental stand sat.
As I walked closer, I overheard parts of a disagreement. I kept my hands in my pockets and hung back close to the corner of the store. Whoever was talking needed a minute to figure things out.
“Der, you can’t be serious. You are quitting?”
“Yeah, why is that so unbelievable? You think you know me so well. Didn’t see that one coming, did you?” He smirked.
I recognized the clerk who had helped me with the beer. That guy had seemed a lot nicer in the store, and there was the girl who wrote notes on the register paper. I had forgotten how pretty she looked. Right now, she looked mad.
“Don’t be such an ass. There is no reason to quit.” Her hands were on her hips.
“I don’t want to work here anymore. I don’t want to see you at the store every day. I’m tired of covering for you, and I got another job.”
“Another job?” Her voice was shrill. I watched as the guy walked from behind the counter, out onto the pier. I was starting to think this wasn’t the best time to rent a kayak. Maybe another day.
“Yeah, Chelsea. Another job.”
“Don’t leave like this,” she pleaded.
“What’s this, son?” A deeper voice emerged in the discussion. “You’re leaving?” he asked.
I peeked around the corner. The two store clerks had been joined by a man probably in his fifties. This was getting more awkward.
“Mr. Davis, sorry for you to hear this way, but I’ve taken another position.” His voice might have cracked.
The man glared at the pair. “Let me guess, this has something to do with Chelsea.”
“Dad, that’s not fair. I had no idea he was leaving.”
I watched as the man turned his back on the girl. “Derek, I’m sorry for whatever has happened. What can I do to keep you on?”
“Mr. Davis, you’ve been really great to me over the years.”
“That doesn’t sound like I have a chance to change your mind.” He sighed. “I hope we can come to an understanding, but if we can’t, I can count on you to work until I find a replacement?”
“No, sir. I’m sorry, but this is my last day at the store. I start tomorrow.” There was an air of triumph in the announcement.
“Der, what are you talking about? Where are you going?” she questioned.
“I’m the new surfing instructor at Wave On.” He looked pleased with himself.
“You know, Derek, why don’t you wait inside for me and I’ll be in to discuss your pay. I need to speak with Chelsea for a second.” The older guy urged the clerk to leave the conversation.
Derek tossed a clipboard on the countertop and walked a few paces on the docks and into the store.
The father turned. “Don’t stand there and tell me you’re not responsible for him leaving.”
“Dad, this is complete news to me, but Derek has a right to change jobs if he wants to.”
“Of course he does, but he has worked here for five years, and all of a sudden, he can’t stand it? How do you expect me to replace an employee like that? Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Any idea at all?”
The tears were welling in her eyes. Even from fifteen feet away I could see them. I also saw her biting her bottom lip. She didn’t seem like the type that would cry, but I wasn’t sure I had ever heard anything like this before.
“I can try to talk to him again. I’ll ask him to stay,” she offered.
“No. I think you’ve done enough. In the meantime, you can take over his Thursday shift and—”
“But, that’s my one day off,” she shrieked.
“Maybe after this you’ll learn to respect the boundaries at work.”
“You can’t be serious.”
I watched as she balled her fists on the counter. I didn’t know what was happening between them, but it was messy. I didn’t like the hurt that was on her face. She was being bullied, and I felt a protective instinct kick in. I wanted to help her.
“You’ve left me without a clerk. It’s almost the end of June. Where am I going to find somebody now? All the students have jobs. No one is going to turn up at this point in the summer. Derek was the best employee I had. Five years, Chelsea. He was here five years.”
“I’ll find someone. Calm down.” She pressed the ends of her palms into her cheekbones. I was impressed the tears didn’t fall.
“You think it’s that easy? You think we can replace a worker like him? Fine. It’s your responsibility now. You find someone who is decent and you can have your Thursdays back.” I heard the deck boards creak as he walked back into the store, muttering something under his breath.
The coast was clear. Maybe I could rent that kayak now. That was all I wanted—take one of those blue boats out on the water and glide across the surface. I sucked in a deep breath and stepped one foot around the corner.
And right then, everything changed. I knew I wouldn’t be renting a kayak today.