CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Chelsea
I parked my bike in the rack in front of the library. My song portfolio was tucked under my arm. Jake had asked if he could have copies of the songs I sang for him. He wanted to read them again, he said. The library was the only place on the island I could make copies without prying eyes. If I stepped anywhere near the copier in my father’s office, I would get the lecture on how I had wasted too much time on lyrics. Get a real job, Chelsea. I had heard it a thousand times. Since it was Monday, he was in the office going over bills and accounts.
I smiled, clutching the music to my side. If Jake wanted my music, it must mean something to him. I brushed my hair over my shoulder and opened the door to the one-room island library.
It had been three weeks since he started at the store. I knew I was supposed to find a replacement for him, but he hadn’t brought up his temporary status lately. He seemed happy at the store, like it was something he actually enjoyed. Honestly, I didn’t want to hire someone else. We got to spend four days in a row together at work, and then I knew we would spend the next four nights rotating between my apartment and Silver Sand Dollar, depending on who had the following day off.
I loved waking up in the Sand Dollar. It felt like we were the only two people in the world when we were there. Who needed other people? I giggled as I dropped quarters into the copier and placed the first page face down on the scanner. I hit copy.
If I could wake up every day with him, I would. But I was trying to be careful—give him his space. Guys liked space. I couldn’t help feeling though that he was ok with a little too much Chelsea time. Maybe it was because he always pulled me back under the covers, or because he called on the nights when we were apart to check on me, or because he snuck me into the storage closet at work and kissed me like it was our last day on Earth.
I placed the next sheet down and hit copy.
The summer days were slipping by and I didn’t know how long he was going to stay. It made my stomach hurt thinking about him leaving. What if I was the one who left? Nothing had changed with my music. It was my soul, my reason for existing, but lately, I knew I had a new reason to exist and it had something to do with a hot Texas boy.
I exhaled and put another page of lyrics on the screen. I watched the green laser shoot under the lid when I heard the voice—the voice that made me want to vomit and punch something at the same time.
“Rosie, do you have any of those new steamy Raven books? I can’t get enough of those.” Eileen Meeks was ten feet behind me at the library desk, whispering and laughing about some tacky romance smut.
Rosie, the only librarian on the island, slid her glasses forward and smiled. “Two more came in over the weekend. They aren’t even on the shelves yet. Wait here and I’ll get them for you.”
I clenched my teeth and whipped the pages into my portfolio. Two songs were copied, but I still had one more. The only thing keeping me at the task was that Jake wanted them. This meant something to him.
“Well, hey there, Chelsea.” Eileen tapped me on the shoulder.
I didn’t know if I could turn around and face the woman who had been sleeping with my father. Eileen ran one of those seashell gift shops that was only open in the summer. Come October, she packed up and headed to Florida for the winter. She was always bragging about her Tampa condo, but I sometimes wondered if it really existed. Could you really make enough money selling painted starfish for three months to last all year? I choked on the realization that maybe Eileen’s winter paradise was funded another way—by someone who had steady, substantial income. Oh, God, I couldn’t look at her; I couldn’t stomach it.
“Honey? You ok?” Eileen tilted her head to the side.
I gathered the last page off the copier, shoved it inside the folder, and darted out of the door. The July heat fell around me like the curtain of awareness that had just come down. My father, Eileen, the affair—it wasn’t new. It couldn’t possibly be new. I gripped the handlebars, nudged the kickstand up, and headed toward the store.
***
“Hey, killer, where are you going?” Jake called from the rental booth. I shoved the bike into the rack and stormed toward the employee entrance. He was quite possibly trailing me. I heard the screen door slam behind me.
The store was cool, but my neck was damp with sweat and my chest heaved with anger and exertion. My father’s office was at the end of the hall. The door was closed.
“Whoa, Chelsea. What’s going on?” Jake’s hand landed on my shoulder, and I spun around to face him.
“I have something to say to my father. To ask him.” My hand was shaking and my bottom lip quivered.
“Wait. Wait. Talk to me first,” he urged. His eyebrows arched with concern.
“I-I can’t wait. He needs to hear this.” My voice cracked. “I need answers.”
Jake looked over my head, and then ushered me into the supply closet before I could protest. He flipped the light switch and locked the door behind us.
“I’ve never seen you look like this. Can you talk to me first?” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Maybe I can help you, darlin’.”
I felt the pent up hostility and rage seep through my body one deep breath at a time. Jake stood, his eyes fixed on me, while I inhaled and exhaled the anger away. His palms cupped my face.
“Can you tell me what has you so upset?” he asked.
The only other person I had told was Derek, and though he guarded my family secret, he wasn’t sympathetic. It made me feel alone. I looked into Jake’s eyes, the pools of gray-green that warmed my soul, that soothed the desperation taking hold, that told me everything really would be ok if I let him take care of me.
“I-I— He’s—” I couldn’t get the words out. They were stuck in the back of my throat. If I said them, he would know how ugly my life was at home.
He drew me against his chest and slid to the floor, pulling me into his lap. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. But we’re not leaving this room until I know you are ok. Got it?” He kissed me on the forehead.
“He’s having an affair.” I blurted it out and the rest of the words followed like a roller coaster. “He’s cheating on my mom with the island whore.” Then the tears followed. “My parents have been married thirty years. Who cheats after thirty years?” I pushed against his chest to sit up. “I want him to answer for it. I want him to explain to me how he could do this to her. To us.” I wiped the tears from my cheeks and felt the anger taking hold again. “I think it’s been going on for years.”
Jake looked stunned. “That is not what I thought you were going to say. Not at all. Didn’t see that coming.” He tilted his head to the side. “But it does explain a lot. You can barely stand being in the same room with him.”
“It’s that obvious?” I asked.
“Yeah, you clam up and that glow you have dims into something cold. To be honest, it makes me not like your dad. Anyone who can make you turn that light off has got to be a dick.”
I smiled. I felt the heaviness of the tears on my eyelashes as I closed my eyes and leaned to kiss him.
“Can I put that in a song?” I broke away to ask.
“You mean I said something lyrical other than bunk?” He shifted back on his hands.
“Yeah, it was poetic.” I inhaled the lingering salt and cologne mixture on his T-shirt. It would be perfectly fine with me if we stayed in the supply closet for the rest of the day. I didn’t want to face my father or the world on the other side of the door.
“Did something happen just now? You had that look of a woman on a mission when you tore in here.”
I thought about Eileen and the library. “I ran into her. I took my lyrics to the library to copy for you, and she tried to talk to me.” I paused. “That woman has no idea I know, but I couldn’t even look at her. I ran out of the library like a lunatic.”
“An understandable lunatic.” He grinned. “That’s a lot to handle.”
I lowered my head. “I haven’t told my mom. I don’t know if I should tell her. I want to, but it will ruin her. It will destroy her life and everything she knows. How can I do that to her?”
“I’m not going to tell you what to do. However, you are not the one responsible for your mother’s unhappiness. You can’t do anything to destroy her life. That’s all on your dad. That’s between the two of them. You hear me?”
I nodded.
“Have you been keeping this all to yourself?” He kept his voice low.
“I told Derek, but we’re not really on speaking terms. It’s the worst secret and I don’t want to tell anyone. I’m so embarrassed.”
Jake took me by the shoulders. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You didn’t do anything. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could fix it for you.” He sighed.
I worked my way out of his lap to stand. “Thanks for listening and for keeping me from punching my dad. It helped.”
He followed my lead, taking his time to stretch his long legs. “Anytime. Probably not a good idea to hit him, if you want my opinion. But, if you need me to, you know where to find me.” He pulled the strings on his apron and tightened the knot. “So, what are you going to do?”
I reached for the lock. “I don’t know, but I’m not going to do it today—and not in a crazy rage. Thank you.” I perched on my toes to kiss him. “I feel much better. The problem is still there, but I feel better.”
“Then, my job is done. I’ve to get back outside. It’s so hot today everyone wants to snorkel. I haven’t told anyone yet you can’t see your hand in front of your face if you swim in the creek. They can figure that out on their own.” He chuckled. “You good?”
“Yeah, I’m good.” I smiled as he checked both directions in the hall before walking back to the docks.
I took another deep breath and reached for the light. The problem with my father still existed, but Jake had kept me from doing something I would have regretted. He was balance and reason, fire and lightning, all in one. I pulled the storage door behind me, knowing I needed all those things more than the air I breathed.