I WATCHED HER PULL into a parking space over an hour late.
Hunting all afternoon had done nothing to quell the restlessness, but when she got out of her vehicle, the building impatience that had plagued me all day was replaced by a quickened pulse.
Inhaling, I slowed my heart rate and got out of the truck. Impatient to see her, angry she was late, but relieved nothing happened to her in her old vehicle, my thoughts stilled when she turned.
Her face swollen, her eyes red, she bit her lip.
Instinctually, I took her face in my hand. “What happened?”
“That was it.” She burst into tears, her hands going to her face to cover her sorrow. “I thought I would have more time with him, but today was the last time I’ll see Ethan.”
Unaccustomed to holding any woman for comfort, I put my arms around her. “Why?”
“Lena, my boss, Ethan’s mom….” Her breath hitched. “Sh-she said it was best this way. Best for Ethan. So he didn’t have time to get upset.” She sniffled. “She waited until last minute to tell me today was it. The movers come tomorrow, then she and Ethan will be gone.” Her voice cracked. “I’ve watched him since he was two.”
I knew how to care for a child. Everyone on the compound did because the duty was shared by all, but I did not relate to being a parent, nor the decision to take a child away from a caregiver. “I am sorry.”
“Thank you. Me too.” She pulled away. “I, um, need to go inside.” Her hand fluttered in front of her. “I need to wash my face.” Stepping around me, she walked toward her apartment.
I followed.
When her hand fumbled with her key, I took it from her and opened her door, but she did not move. Standing still, her gaze fixed on the ground, she inhaled as if weighing a decision.
I made it for her. “Inside.” I captured her elbow and guided her across the threshold, then shut the door behind us.
She glanced at the door. “I didn’t ask you to come in.”
I purposely chose my response. “You did not have to.”
She looked around her small living room as if seeing it for the first time. “That’s not what I meant.”
I knew what she meant, but her lips gave me words her body language did not back up. “You are under no danger.” I gently pushed her toward her couch. “Sit.”
She sank to the edge of the couch, but she did not address what I had said.
“I’m going to miss him.” Her voice filled with grief, and she swiped at her eyes. “Sometimes… it felt like he was mine.” She looked up at me as if I held the answers she was seeking. “I know he wasn’t, but it still felt like that, you know?”
I did know. I had thought Decima was mine. “I will get you something to drink.” I walked into the small kitchen, took a glass from the first cupboard I opened, and filled it from the faucet. The water ran pure and clear. We had not had potable water on the compound, not until I’d installed a filtration system last month.
I held the water out to her. “Drink.”
Both hands wrapped around the glass as if she would drop it. “I have to get a new job. She gave me two weeks’ pay, which was nice, but if I don’t find work, I won’t be able to pay my rent.”
I held back my thoughts about a female having to work to pay for a roof overhead. “It will work out.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
“It will.” I didn’t tell her there was still a building on the compound that could house fifty, or that there used to be quarters for three hundred before I had bulldozed all of the dilapidated buildings except the main hall and my quarters.
She took a sip of the water. “I’m sorry I was late, again.”
I did not condemn her, nor condone her tardiness by telling her it was okay. Apologies were the guilt of poor decisions. I changed the subject. “You said you needed to wash your face.”
There were apartments above and on either side of hers, and I wanted to get her out of here. I grew up with a hundred people at any given time, but it was not like this. Land, woods, endless deer trails, there was always solitude if you wanted. But here, there was no space, and no wind blew through the trees. All I heard were other conversations through thin walls, plumbing and the incessant drone of televised voices.
“You’re right.” She stood, still holding the glass. “You said you wanted to show me something?”
My living quarters. Now more than ever. I nodded and took the glass. “Yes.”
The same curiosity as last night came back, and she stared at me a moment. “You’re not going to tell me.”
I did not know if I was uncomfortable or impressed by her correct observation. It wasn’t a question, but I answered it anyway. “No. I am going to show you.” And let her ask her questions after she saw where I lived, how I grew up.
“Will I like it?”
I was under no illusion that she would. But I sensed if I was going to convince her to date me, as they called it outside the compound, then she needed to understand for herself who I was. “Only you can answer that.”
Her eyebrows drew together. “Are you taking me to your… land?”
“Wash your face.” I did not want to answer any more questions until she could see for herself.
Heat colored her cheeks. “I googled it, you know. Last night, today, while Ethan was sleeping.” Sorrow clouded her expression when she said the boy’s name. “I looked up River Ranch.”
I said nothing because I was accustomed to saying nothing.
“The pictures were only of the front gate. And River Stephens.” She paused like she was waiting for a reaction. When she got none, she went on. “It said a lot of people died in a raid three years ago.” Her voice turned quiet. “Is that true? Did you see them die?”
I had seen many people die, and not just on the day she spoke of. “My life has been very different than yours.”
She swallowed. “May I ask what was it like?”
Indecision caused me to hesitate, but only for a moment. I had been deceived most of my years, and I would not do that her. If she were going to come with me to my land, she needed to do so with some knowledge of my past. “No one was allowed to leave. You relinquished all assets, monetary and property, to the compound when you joined. Females were raped in the name of procreation. Men were beaten for sport. No one was allowed medical treatment off the compound, and there was an unmarked, mass grave for all defectors or anyone not deemed worthy of the small compound cemetery. I spent my formative years learning to hunt, ignorant of most of the abuse of power. By my eighteenth turn around the sun, I knew with certainty that River Stephens was a sick man. After that, I spent all of my time in the woods, hunting for game to feed the many mouths that were there not by choice, but by circumstance.”
Shock widened her eyes and stole her voice. “Oh my God,” she whispered.
“Do not pity my upbringing,” I warned.
She quickly closed her mouth and nodded. “Okay.”
“Tell me why it upset you when I said I would like to take care of you.”
“It’s just….” She shook her head and dropped her gaze. “Never mind, I’m being stupid. I’m crying over a lost job and a four-year-old, when you’ve….” She caught herself and shook her head again. “Just never mind.”
I tipped her chin. “You are not stupid, and I did not say my past was more important than your present.”
She blinked her brown eyes that reminded me of a doe and stared at me a moment. “You speak differently.”
When you spoke to few people and conversed with even less, you learned from reading. “I am aware.” But she was not. “I am not a conversationalist,” I explained. I never had been.
“By choice?” She frowned. “Or because of the circumstances you described?”
I looked for pity in her expression, in her tone, but I did not see any. Relenting, I gave her the answer. “Both.”
The corner of her mouth hinted at a smile. “You’re conversing with me now.”
I was, and I didn’t hate it. I nodded toward a small hallway. “Do what you need to do.”
Inhaling, she forced a small smile and disappeared down the hall.
I glanced around her living space.
Size wise, it was not much bigger than my quarters, but the similarity stopped there. This was only the second home I had been in outside the compound, and I noticed they both had couches, drywall and finished flooring. There had been none of that on the compound.
My chambers only had a bed, a chair, a shelf and a small washroom. This apartment had much more. Two shelves with books and framed pictures. A couch, a chair, a low table between them. A television on a stand, a small desk, and a counter separating the kitchen from the living space with stools at it, even though there was already a small table in the kitchen area with chairs.
I glanced at the carpet underfoot and made a mental note to not wear my hunting boots next time I came here. When I heard the water turn on in the bathroom, I walked into the kitchen and placed her glass in the sink. I was looking at her stove, thinking about the five ovens lined up in a row in the mess hall at River Ranch and how I had not used them since I’d dismantled the compound. I was thinking I should sell them, when the front door flew open.
“Okay, bitch, you’re done crying!” The blonde sister walked in carrying a bottle of alcohol. “I got tequila!” She kicked the door shut behind her. “Where are you? We’re getting drunk, going out tonight and getting you laid!”
Hunter still, I stood in the kitchen as her last three words sank in and made my blood boil.
“Em!” the blonde shouted, dropping her purse and the bottle of alcohol on the low table in front of the couch. “You hear me? Where are you? You in the shower?” She started down the hall just as Emily came out of the bathroom.
Her eyes wide, my angel looked over her sister’s head toward me, then focused back on her sister. “Um, what are you doing here, Phoebs? I said I wasn’t going out tonight.”
But she went out other nights to get laid?
The sister spun around. Her gaze hit below my waist then traveled up. “Wow.” She stared. “This?” Her hand waved between us. “I wasn’t expecting.” She shook the shock off her face and pasted on the type of smile I hated in a woman. “What are you doing here, Callan?”
Judge and jury, I knew her look and body language. Every word out of her mouth was equal parts challenge and strategy. My advantage was that she did not know yet I was not playing her game. I held the sister’s stare. “Taking Emily with me.”
“Really?” The sister drew the word out. “And where are you taking her?”
I looked at my angel. “Are you ready?”
She bit her lip.
The sister laughed once without humor. “Oh no, stepbrother McHottie. You don’t get to take her somewhere without telling me exactly where you’re going.” She snorted like an animal about to charge. “You could be a serial killer for all I know.” Her eyes narrowed. “And how, exactly, did you wind up here, in my sister’s apartment? Because I can tell you, you’re barking up the wrong tree, whatever tree that is.” She nodded toward her sister. “She’s too nice to say anything to you about that, but I’m not.”
The sister emphasized her words, as if their delivery was more important than their meaning. Anger simmering on my angel’s behalf, I questioned her last comment. “Are you implying your sister is incapable of speaking for herself?”
The sister’s hands went to her hips. “What the fuck does that mean?”
My angel quickly moved between me and her sister. “Okay, okay. Both of you drop it. We’re family.”
“She is not my family,” I stated at the same time the sister scoffed.
“Yeah, Ems. For once, I agree with him. Just because he’s Ted’s supposed son doesn’t make him our brother.”
“Phoebe,” Angel scolded. “Stop being rude.”
“More rude than him?” She pointed a finger at me. “Come on, are you that stupid? Why do you think he’s really here?”
My angel’s cheeks turned apple red. “Oh my God, Phoebs, shut up.”
The sister did not listen.
“Did you invite him over? Is that why you didn’t call me back?” The sister looked at me with disdain then trained her scowl back on my angel. “You have his number now? He’s your insta-brother? Are you going to cry on his shoulder about losing your dead-end job?”
“Enough,” I ordered.