Chapter Thirteen

Four days later, Reed still reeled from the words in Jose’s letter and the dire prognosis he’d received from his medical team. The second stroke had left him with right-side facial paralysis and the loss of several major motor skills, including the use of his right hand and the ability to walk at all without someone by his side.

Yesterday, Mia and Stella helped move him back to the rehab center, where his new treatment plan looked even more prolonged than the first. Where he’d spend the next couple of months, instead of weeks.

Early Tuesday evening, Reed pulled into the diner parking lot like he had every week since August when his mother’s piece of shit car...well, took a shit.

Pam waved from one of the front windows when she spotted him and, a couple minutes later, came out of the diner with her apron still tied around her waist. Today, there was no bounce in her step. No smile on her face as she climbed into the passenger seat and buckled up.

“Any news on Jose?” he asked, backing out of the lot.

“Mia just called. She isn’t sure when she’ll be back at the diner, so she asked me to post a Help Wanted sign.” Pam brushed the graying blonde hair from her face and sucked in a breath so shaky, Reed heard it rattle in her chest from his side of the car. “I can’t imagine what Stella and Mia are feeling right now, not to mention Jose himself.”

Reed hadn’t been able to think about anything else. Hell, he’d almost approved a shit wiring job today because he’d kept wondering how things were going in Grand Island. An accidental confession from the hack of a contractor was the only thing that saved both of their asses from a world of hurt down the road.

“It’s hard seeing Jose going through this,” Reed agreed. “He’s the closest thing I’ve had to a father, you know?”

His mother nodded, though there was no denying the pain that flashed in her eyes at the confession.

“I don’t say that to make you feel bad.” He reached for her hand and squeezed tight. “You know that, right?”

She shot him a tight smile and he wished he could take the remark back.

“You did an amazing job being both Mom and Dad for all of these years. I’d lose my fucking shit if something happened to you.”

“I know, baby.” Her smile softened, but the tears in her eyes overshadowed the effort. “But I’ll always wish I could have given you more. Times like this always seem to bring up those kinds of regrets.”

“You gave me everything I needed.”

“We both know I didn’t.” She stroked her fingers over his and he couldn’t help but think about Jose’s letter to Mia.

“I have everything I need.”

“Not everything.”

He frowned and she blew out a breath as shiny rivers of emotion slipped down her cheeks.

“I never showed you how to fall in love,” she whispered, and his mouth fell open.

“What? I know how to love.”

“No, baby. There’s a difference between loving and being in love. In wanting to give someone every part of yourself.” When he pulled to a stop in her driveway, she reached across the console and touched his cheek. “I’m sorry I let my own mistrust in relationships ruin that for you.”

“Ma...” He turned to face her, taking both of her hands into his. “I’m fine. More than fine, in fact. Definitely not ruined.”

She pinched her eyes shut and more silent tears fell.

“I’ve lived a better life than most could ever dream of. Yeah, I like women a little more than I should, but, hey, that’s a perk, not a downfall.”

“You get that from your father,” Pam half-sobbed, half-laughed and Reed froze.

In all of his thirty-two years, she’d never once mentioned his sperm donor in jest. Hell, she’d never mentioned him at all, aside from the one, very guarded conversation they’d had when he turned thirteen. 

His father had been her one and only one-night stand. A random guy she’d met at a bar. No names and no details, just two people who shared chemistry and a mutual need. She knew nothing about the man aside from what he looked like.

Or did she?

“What do you mean?” he finally asked, and her red, bloodshot eyes went wide. She opened her mouth and then snapped it shut again, those traitorous eyes darting all over his dashboard.

“He obviously liked me, right?” Telling panic rose in her voice and Reed’s gut twisted into a tight, sickened knot.

What was she hiding?

“Mom...” he asked, low and measured, but she shook her head vehemently before he could finish the word.

“No.” Gathering her things in a rush, she reached for the door. “I can’t.”

“You can’t what?” He grabbed his own door, only to stall when his phone rang in the console. Mia. Sending the call to voicemail, he made for the door again only to have the cell ring all over again. “Fuck!” His gaze flicked between the phone and his mother, speed walking to her front door like her shoes were on fire.

What the ever-loving fuck?

“Hey, baby, what’s up?” he asked, putting Mia on speaker.

“I need you.” Her soft voice filled the car like a warm, intimate exhale. Only the desperation in her voice wasn’t that kind of plea.

“What’s wrong, M? Did something happen?”

“No. I just...” She paused for a moment, then whispered, “I can’t do this by myself.”

Shit. “Baby, I know it’s hard, but if anyone can do this, it’s you.”

She paused again, then let it out in a frantic rush. “I can’t cry in front of him, Reed. I need to be strong and I’m not. Not even a little.” She broke off with a soft hiccup. “I want to make this better for him, but I don’t know how.”

God, he wanted to wrap his arms around her and promise he’d take care of everything. That he’d take the weight from her shoulders, so she wouldn’t have to carry the burden by herself.

But he couldn’t any more than she could. He also had a job to do and a team to coach. People who were counting on him.

People like Mia.

Fuck.

“Can you hold out for a couple more hours?” he asked without thinking twice about it. Whatever was going on with his mother would have to wait.

“Why?” Mia sniffed.

“I can be in Grand Island by eight o’clock. I’ll grab another hotel room so you can escape for a while. Just a few hours or for the night, whatever you want. In the morning, I’ll take your mom for breakfast to give her a break, too. I should’ve done that the other day.”

“As amazing as that sounds, you can’t,” Mia sighed. “You have to work tomorrow.”

“I have vacation time banked, so, actually, I can.” He smiled as he turned over the engine and backed into the street. “Besides, you just told me you needed me. I’ll always answer that request, Mia. Every fucking time.”

When she didn’t respond, he imagined her on the other end of the phone, biting her lip like she had that night on her couch in Omaha. When she’d needed to come but had been too embarrassed to ask.

“I’m on my way, beautiful. Just hang tight.”

* * *

Winding as tight as they could, her father’s knuckles turned white around the handles of his walker. He’d already spent an hour with the physical therapist, but Jose wanted to try again. Damn stubborn man.

“Papi, your legs are tired, and the strength you’ve regained in your arms isn’t going to last if you keep pushing yourself so hard.” With one arm around his waist, she gently rubbed his arm. “Let’s get you back to the chair.”

He gave her a sad, but determined glare that said everything he couldn’t put into words. He hated being weak and, even more than that, he hated that she had to see him like this. Like something other than the larger-than-life, hero of a man she’d always believed him to be.

“It’s okay,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You’ll always be my Hercules.”

He closed his eyes and they both pretended not to notice the tears gathered in them as she helped him into a chair by the window. The sun had just started to set and the night was clear and beautiful. A perfect night for a walk, but saying so would be too cruel. So, she took a seat in the chair next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Reed is coming again tonight. I hope you don’t mind, but we’re going to get a room and then I’ll come back in the morning. He’s going to take Mom out for the day so she can do some shopping and, don’t tell her, but I’m going to make sure she gets her hair done, too.”

His fingers inched toward the pad of paper on the table in front of them and, instead of moving it closer, she waited patiently. Good man, he wrote, and she smiled.

“He is, isn’t he?” She’d adored him when they were kids, but these past couple of weeks, he’d blown her mind. “I’m glad we reconnected. He’s been a huge help at the diner, too.”

Pam?

“Yes. She and Bobbie Jo have been amazing. Of course, they can’t make tamales like you do.”

He grunted and she snuggled closer.

“Papi?”

He nodded slowly.

“I want to talk to you about the letter.” His words had been on her mind for days, but with his therapy and their mutual exhaustion, there never seemed to be a good time to bring it up. “Is that okay?”

He nodded again and she tangled her fingers with his and steeled her courage.

“Initially, I avoided River Bend because I couldn’t let go of the things that had happened when I was a kid. Things that were not your fault, Papi. I know I blamed you because it was easier that way, but we both know that you and Mama did nothing wrong.”

She brushed her thumb across his thick, scarred knuckles and sighed. “I was an awkward kid. I wanted to fit and I didn’t. I think part of my struggle came from being so close to Reed. He had a foot in our world and the one I wanted so badly to be a part of. I envied him and loved him and hated him at the same time.

“But that wasn’t his fault, either. That was my own insecurity. And I let that uncertainty rule my life for years, even when I should have known better.”

One of her father’s fingers shifted gently over hers and she bit back a sudden wave of tears.

“I’m ashamed that it took me so long to realize that I had the power to be who I wanted to be all along. Somehow I lucked out and I accomplished some really great things before that happened and, for that, I’m so, so grateful. I’ve been able to help a lot of people. In fact...” She lifted her head and met his gaze. “You know the new youth center in Cameron?”

Her father’s eyes grew wide and she grinned through the tears.

“Yep. That’s mine, Papi. I only kept it a secret because that’s how I operate my foundation. I’m faceless and if I would have told people about my role here, I would have given myself away there, too.

“Papi, I know I told you and Mama about my work with Montgomery & Adler, but my motivation wasn’t as altruistic as I led you or even myself to believe.” And this was where the ugly truth came to light. Where she bared her soul and hoped he’d still respect her afterward.

“I got involved with a man who said all the right things. Who made me feel like I finally belonged. Deep down, I knew better. I knew he was using me, but it felt so good to be needed. I felt so powerful.”

His hand began to tremble in hers and she bit her lip, swallowing her pride.

“I hate what I did and who I let myself become in the process, but I don’t hate the good things that came of it, because, in the end, I became a stronger person than I ever could have become on my own.”

The beginning of that end had started when she’d seen Reed at the Christmas party ten months ago. Not even Ben’s cheating had impacted her like laying eyes on the one person who knew her better than she knew herself had. One look at Reed and suddenly everything had made sense.

“It’s been a rough few months.” After all, she’d gone back to Ben. “But I finally feel like I’m where I need to be. Maybe even where I’ve belonged all along.”

The only thing missing was the elusive happily ever after. The one thing her father wanted for her, above everything else. The one thing she hadn’t figured out.

Happy? he wrote, and she smiled with salty tears on her lips.

“Yes, Papi. I’m getting there.” With that, she curled her arms around his shoulders and pressed another kiss to his cheek. “I love you so much.”

Love you more, mija.

She held him close for several long beats before the room to his suite squeaked open and her mother appeared, carrying a stack of books from the rehab center’s library.

“I found a goldmine!” she announced with a bright grin that almost overshadowed the dark circles under her eyes. Almost, but not quite. “I thought maybe we could read tonight, Jose. What do you think about that?”

Mia chuckled when her father grunted. “Oh, come on, Dad. Maybe she’ll read you something steamy.”

“Steamy?” The door opened again and Reed strolled in wearing a pair of jeans and a University of Nebraska hoodie. He looked every bit the sexy coed when he flashed a devious grin and tossed a wink Mia’s way. “Looks like I showed up just in time.”

Stella rolled her eyes and swung a playful backhand toward his midsection. “Oh, you. Always with the dirty mind.”

Jose grunted again, but this time, there was a light in his eyes. Reed continued to smirk as he made his way across the room and extended his hand to her father, waiting patiently while the older man gathered his strength and reciprocated.

“You don’t mind if I steal Mia away for the night, do you, sir? I promise to be a complete gentleman.”

“Wow. Way to lay it on, Casanova.” Mia swatted at his arm, but the sparkle in her father’s eyes stole her attention, instead. “Don’t you listen to him, Papi.”

He tapped his notebook where he’d written Good man earlier, and something began to niggle in the pit of her stomach.

Something she wasn’t sure she wanted to fully acknowledge.