CHAPTER EIGHT
By the time Myra landed, she’d made a list of any wolves she could think of that she might want to approach regarding a move to Arizona. Or maybe they’d start fresh, in New Mexico. She forwarded the list, and the question on which state, to Cindy, for her friend’s input.
She helped the woman ahead of her retrieve a carry-on bag from the overhead bin, then made her way off the plane and into the airport. It was a small airport and it wasn’t long before she spotted Adam. A spike of insecurity hit her from nowhere. Last time she’d seen him, he’d been pushing her away. Hard. They’d only had a couple of phone calls and a few texts since then. Had she been stupid to open herself back up to him, not to protect her heart more?
She didn’t realize she’d come to a full halt, staring at him, until his mouth quirked up and he raised a finger, curled it toward himself in a come-here gesture. Gaze locked with his, she did as he bid, until he reached out and yanked her to him. His mouth was on hers in an instant, her bag dropping to their feet so she could wrap both arms around him and hold on tight.
When someone behind her cleared their throat meaningfully, she pulled her mouth free. “You pushed me away,” she blurted out.
“I know. I was scared.”
“What does this mean, now?”
“I don’t know.”
She nodded. She couldn’t blame him for not being able to tell her their future. “Let’s get out of here.”
He picked up her bag before she could and held out a hand for her. Charmed, she accepted, then wrapped her other hand around his arm, snuggling in as they walked. “Sometimes when I’m around you, I feel like a foolish twenty-year-old. It’s not necessarily a bad thing.”
He looked down at her. “Sometimes when I’m around you, I feel like a foolish fifteen-year-old. It’s not usually a good thing.”
She laughed and took a bracing breath as they walked out into the cold air. He led them to a car and put her bag in the trunk. “Did you want to drive?” he asked.
“I don’t care either way.” But she was impressed he’d asked, and he’d managed to sound sincere, like he would’ve handed her the keys if she’d asked. Wow.
He nodded and opened the passenger door for her, then went around to the driver’s side. She waited until they were on the highway before bringing the subject back up. “I don’t want you to think I’m expecting any kind of commitment. I just want to see how things might go, you know?”
He reached over and picked up her hand, brought it to his thigh, held on. “I think we’re on the same page, Myra. Don’t worry so much.”
Her nose did that tingling thing again. “It’s hard not to. I’m not usually a wuss, but you scare me.”
His eyebrows shot up his forehead and he looked at her. “Don’t you have that backwards?”
She smiled wryly. “I guess it’s fair if we scare each other.”
“You’re the one who’s supposed to have her shit figured out. I’m the fool who’s been living outside of life for a long time. I might need some help finding one again.”
“You know I’m happy to help with that, but I don’t want you to feel pushed—” She broke off. “Well, that’s not true, I did push, because sometimes people need that, but I meant that for you, and life in general, not where I’m concerned.”
“I know. I needed to get hauled out of my rut. Thank you for that.”
She wiggled her nose to keep the tears from forming. “Now that you’ve left your cabin for a little vacation, will you tell me what you’re thinking about your future?” She made a concerted effort to not hold her breath while waiting for an answer, and wondered if she shouldn’t have waited until they were stationary to bring this up.
“I’ve been thinking about things, while I’m out here. When you left the cabin, the idea of going to St. Louis, visiting you there, meeting your family and your pack. I’m not going to lie, even though it makes me a coward, the idea seemed ridiculous. No way I could handle that.”
And now? she thought, but pressed her lips so he could speak at his own pace.
“I came here to Idaho out of a sense of duty.” He glanced over at her. “You knew that. Used that.”
“Hell, yes.”
He smiled and turned back to face forward. “And you knew I would find more than that. Understand what I could be a part of. If I wanted it.”
“Yeah.” She said it softly, felt the tears come as his hand squeezed hers.
“I’m not saying I want to audition for packs to join and start taking care of others when I’m not sure I’m great at taking care of myself. And I’m not saying I’m going to pack a bag tomorrow for St. Louis. But I’m saying I would like to come visit you. Assuming you don’t get your fill of me here and decide you’ve had enough.”
She sniffled, impressed she’d held it back for this long.
“Hey,” he said, putting on the turn signal and checking over his shoulder to ease them to the side of the road. “What’s this?”
“I’m just happy for you. And for me. But mostly for you.”
He used his thumbs to wipe the tears from her eyes.
She dug through her purse, found a tissue. “I would love for you to come and visit me. But, I’m wondering if you would mind visiting me in Arizona, instead of St. Louis. Or maybe New Mexico.”
“I don’t really care where I visit you. Are you going to help get a new pack settled? Alex mentioned there was talk of that happening. Actually, he asked me if I was going to be the alpha.”
“Oh. Oh!” She turned more fully to him, pulling her leg up onto the seat. “That’s an amazing idea. I was going to do it, but if you’re interested, I can stay in St. Louis.”
“I wasn’t really interested.”
“Are you sure?”
“You really think it’s a good idea for a guy who hasn’t worked his way up through the hierarchy to suddenly be alpha to a whole pack?”
“Hillary didn’t work her way up, and she’s just as much alpha as Zach is.”
“Yeah, but she has him there to help her.”
Myra shrugged. “If you had a good hierarchy, which I would help make sure you did, you would be fine. I’d have no doubts about your ability to handle it.”
He was quiet for a minute, and then he cleared his throat. “I’m not really interested, but it means a lot you’d say that.” Checking over his shoulder again, he moved back into the highway. “Why are you thinking of leaving St. Louis?”
“I guess I’ve been in a bit of a rut, myself. I was pretty young when I become alpha, I’ve been doing it for a long time. I love my pack and my family, but my life has essentially been the same for the last ten years, and there’s no reason to think it’s going to change anytime soon. At most, some of the hierarchy might move away, but it wouldn’t really change much for me.”
She took a deep breath. “What happened in Montana, it sort of woke me up to how stale things have become.”
He sighed. “Did I tell you I was sorry about that?”
“No, don’t be. I really enjoyed our time. I’m not going to say it didn’t hurt, the way you ended it, but I totally understand. That was a lot for you, in a really short amount of time. I think you handled it pretty well, all things considered.”
He threw her a skeptical look and she laughed. “No, really. You got poisoned, were seriously ill, met me, which, you know, is huge.” She laughed when he rolled his eyes at her this time. “And hearing about Arizona and Hillary and Alexis, and all while feeling enormously attracted to me, I’m sure it was very overwhelming.”
“Okay, yeah, we’ll go with that,” he said, dryly. “By the way, we’re expected at dinner tonight, with Hillary and Zach and some of the others. Not exactly how I was planning the evening to go, but I was overruled.”
She smiled. “I heard. I also heard they offered us a place to stay that wasn’t a houseful of other sharp-eared werewolves.”
“Reward for agreeing to sit through the dinner.”
“Ah, you’ll have fun. You enjoy their company, admit it.”
“We’ll see how I answer that once I have you alone.”
“Uh huh.” She reached to the radio and fiddled through Hillary’s preset stations, until she’d tried them all. Then she tried the search button and didn’t stop until she hit the Eagles, and finally sat back. She pretended not to notice his shoulders visibly relax at her selection, turning her laugh into a small cough.
“You haven’t told me what you do,” he said as they turn off the highway.
“Oh. I record audiobooks.”
“Well, you don’t hear that every day. How did you get into it?”
“A friend of a friend needed someone to do a cheap voiceover spot, so I helped out. I enjoyed it, and decided to look into the whole thing for some side money. I wanted to buy a house. I was doing office work for a shoe company owned by one of the pack elders at the time. Eventually the side money was good enough for me to the buy the house, and then quit the office job and focus on it full time. I settled into audiobooks, mostly fiction.”
“That’s great that you get to do something you enjoy.”
“Absolutely. I mean, it’s definitely work, and sometimes it feels like it, for sure, but I love the flexibility. I can schedule projects to what works best for me, do the recordings when I want as long as I meet deadlines I’ve helped set, and I don’t have anyone hanging over me all the time.” She glanced over at him. “Will you tell me more about this whole stealing-from-drug-dealers thing?”
“I was being a bit of an ass. I don’t really do that anymore. I did do it a couple of times, early on when I needed money and when I had absolutely no doubts where the money I took came from. I also made huge donations in the drug dealers’ names to various charities.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
He looked over at her but didn’t respond. He drove up to the Jenners’ gate and punched in a code. Before long Hillary was admitting them into the warm house, low music on in the background, delicious smells coming through from the kitchen and the low hum of several people talking.
After giving Myra a hug, Hillary grabbed Adam’s arm, leaning in close while she walked him back to the large kitchen. Travis was pulling two pans of what looked like chicken out of the oven. Molly was using tongs to stir around a large pan of green beans on top of the stove, Zach was pulling bottles of beer out of the fridge and already had a bottle of wine tucked under his arm. Tracy, Alex and Stephen sat at the island, munching on something Adam couldn’t identify. He could see Aaron and Peter in the dining room, setting the table. Hillary moved to help Zach and Myra took a seat at the island, so Adam followed suit.
Myra scooped something up with a bit of bread and offered it to him. He eyed the bland looking substance skeptically.
“It’s hummus,” she urged.
Shrugging his shoulders, he accepted the bread and popped it in his mouth, pleasantly surprised to enjoy it. It didn’t taste at all like the baby food it resembled. He vaguely listened to Myra and Stephen discussing favorite hummus brands and considered what a hell of a turn his life had taken in the last week.
Here he was surrounded by powerful wolves, one stronger, two equal, and several just beneath him in power level, and he wasn’t in the least worried about it. He didn’t have any concerns about losing control of himself, or of those around him losing theirs. On the one hand, everything seemed very normal, very traditional and familial. On the other hand, there was no doubt that they were werewolves and the room held a great concentration of power and strength. But none of it set his radar active.
Well, Myra did. But not because she was stronger than him. His awareness of her was sexual. But more than that, he had to acknowledge as she slid the hummus closer to him, handed him a piece of the bread, all without interrupting her conversation with Stephen. Even though part of him wanted desperately to be alone with her, to be tearing her clothes off just enough that he could thrust into her, slam her back against the wall, knowing she could take it, wanted it, pounding into her—Well, shit. He shifted uncomfortably and tried to redirect his thoughts. Because while they were a very real idea of what he wanted to be doing, he’d also enjoyed talking to her on the drive down, didn’t mind sharing this little island with her and being offered food by her while listening to her and Stephen discuss the relative merits of a food processor.
He felt Alex’s gaze on him, met the other man’s eyes. Found a twinkling amusement and understanding. Zach came by and plopped a bottle of beer in front of him, one hand resting easily on Adam’s shoulder.
“Drive up and back was okay?” he asked.
“Fine.” He leaned to the side a bit so Zach could get to the food. “It’s a nice drive.”
Zach nodded around his bite. “We like it out here. Perfect blend of out of the city but close enough to get to the airport, or for some of the pack to commute. Close enough to have some big clients for the security guys.” He pointed his chin at Alex.
“We keep an apartment in the city,” Alex said. “And rotate personnel through every week so that there’s always someone available to get to the client right away, if they have a system issue. And backup only an hour out.”
“Makes sense.”
“The hardest part for packs that want rural like this, I think, is the jobs and the schools,” Myra said.
“Definitely,” Alex agreed. “We’re big enough that we can sort of take over the school district, if we need to. I think in my parents’ day they practically ran the school board, because they weren’t happy with how things had been going. Even now we have a couple of pack members in district management, one who’s a principle at the elementary school most of the pack goes to.”
“Size helps, for sure,” Zach added. “Although smaller packs can blend more, don’t need as many jobs, they still need nearly as much land to run on.”
“I suppose that’s why you don’t get too many groups trying to break off and make their own packs?” Adam asked.
“Right. It’s theoretically possible. They would petition the council, and it would depend on the current pack that holds the territory they’re looking at, but it doesn’t happen often and those are some of the reasons why.”
“Any word on what’s to happen in Arizona?” Alex asked just as Travis called out that it was time to head to the table.
They grabbed their drinks, settled in at the table and quickly filled their plates before Myra answered him.
“Actually, there has been a development about Arizona,” she said, letting the others in on the conversation they’d been having. “I’ve decided to leave St. Louis and take it on. I’d certainly be interested in any opinions you all have about those who’ve expressed interest in joining the new pack.”
“Wow, really?” Hillary asked.
Adam was surprised by the doubt in her voice but Myra only smiled.
“You’re wondering how I could leave my pack?” she asked her friend.
“Yeah, I mean, I know I haven’t been doing this long, but the idea of walking away from my people is kind of shocking. I don’t mean—” She broke off, frowned.
“I understand completely. It never occurred to me I would be ready to step away before it was time to retire, but these things have their own cycles. I’ve been the alpha there since I was twenty-eight. We’ve grown and changed together, and Kendra and Deacon, my firsts, have really grown since they mated a couple of years ago. Normally they would start looking at other packs who were going to need a new alpha, who didn’t have a strong enough first to take over, but this time, it feels right to do it this way. I’ll miss them, of course. Miss my family and friends. But part of being the alpha is knowing, bone deep, what is right for your pack, and this is it.”
“Wow,” Hillary repeated. “I get what you’re saying, it just feels weird. But I’m excited for the new pack. Will you bring back any of the Mesa members?”
“There are definitely a few that I’ll check in with. I’ll talk to the alphas I’ve placed them with, see how they’ve been doing. Especially those that had jobs they loved out there, and had to abandon, extended families, that sort of thing.”
Stephen frowned. “So they get a pass on letting what happened, happen?”
Hillary reached out and rubbed his arm with a smile. “Breaking the pack up wasn’t about punishment. Their new alphas were responsible for appropriate punishments. With Myra’s oversight.”
“Exactly. Breaking the pack up was about making sure everyone was under a capable and appropriate alpha, and because there was no one who could just step in and deal with the entire pack as it was. I would never have asked anyone to do that, and even now, saying I’ll take on a pack in Arizona, or New Mexico, while I will be willing to take in some of the old pack, there will be wolves from all across the country who are interested in a change and will ask to join. Each will be evaluated on their own.”
Adam understood what Myra was saying in theory, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about her having any of those who’d essentially condoned what had happened to him as part of her pack. But, he was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that she knew what she was doing.
The conversation turned to those that the hierarchy had heard about who might want to join a new pack, including Alex’s friend from Los Angeles. Myra excused herself to grab a notebook and pen, and noted down the info and advice she was given about each wolf mentioned.
Adam ate while he listened to Alex tell Myra about his friend Jen, as well as a conversation between Tracy and Peter about one of their teenage wolves who was having some school trouble, and how they could help him. He had to admit, it was a side to pack life he’d never imagined or considered. It put what Myra was wanting to do in a whole new light. Hell, it put what she was already doing in that same light. He hadn’t much thought about what it meant for her, or Hillary, to be pack alphas. His only thoughts on the matter before had been that alphas were the people in charge, calling the shots, and should be blamed if anything bad happened in the pack.
When he’d sent her the text encouraging her to come visit, he hadn’t really thought about her actual day-to-day life. Hadn’t really thought about much beyond seeing her again, to be honest. He’d just needed to see her again.
As if she understood the directions of his thoughts, she flashed him a smile that somehow managed to convey sweetness, amusement and heat. Or maybe he was projecting. Hell if it mattered, he just knew he wanted to get her alone again. And not while driving.
Molly, sitting next to him, gave him a little shoulder bump. “We haven’t managed to overwhelm you. I’m impressed.”
“Was that your intent?” he asked, deadpan.
She looked nervous for a whole second, then decided he was messing with her. Obviously she was used to having brothers. “I was worried, though, for real. We knew you weren’t in the habit of living with a pack, but Hillary said you’d be fine.” She blushed. “Not that we were talking a lot about you.”
He gave her a return shoulder bump. “I know. I like that you guys worry about other people’s feelings and needs. It’s what you do. It’s admirable.”
She gave him a relieved smile. “You’re pretty good at it yourself.”
“Let’s get dessert,” Hillary said, springing up and grabbing her empty plate as well as Zach’s and Peter’s. Half the table followed suit, the other half deciding—like him, he assumed—that too many people in the kitchen would just be annoying.
He looked at his watch. Determined they wouldn’t be staying long once dessert was brought out, even if he was enjoying himself. He caught the smirk on Zach’s face, which actually reminded him that he needed to thank Peter for the use of his cabin. When the other man came out with several portions of the pie, Adam made eye contact.
“I wanted to thank you for letting us use your cabin. Hillary loaned me the key.”
“Hey man, happy to. I love that it gets used, since I don’t get out that way as often as I’d like. Especially while I’m single.”
Adam wasn’t a huge fan of apple pie, but this was served with good ice cream so he was relatively satisfied. But he ate fast. He glanced up at Myra and found she was on pace with him and telling Hillary thanks but no thanks on the offer of coffee. Oh yeah, she was with him all the way. When he finished, he set his fork down with more of a clatter than he’d intended. Myra didn’t look at him but she smiled.
Hillary did look at him, laughter in her eyes. “You guys should head out soon, it’s a bit of a drive.”
He rolled his eyes, but didn’t contradict her.
When they finally made it to the car, he had to laugh. He’d hadn’t been in a situation like that since he’d been in college. Of course, he hadn’t exactly had a group of friends since he’d become the wolf. Suddenly, he missed his brother. He wasn’t sure how he would have handled the situation if his brother had still been alive, but it would’ve been interesting.
A soft wave of compassion washed over him as Myra reached over and put her hand on his arm. It should probably bother him that she could send stuff at him. But it was nice.
“Why are you sad?” she asked.
“I was just thinking about my brother. What he would have been like with that lot.”
“A good thought?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you believe in an afterlife?”
“I did. Even though my parents were religious assholes, I did believe in God and heaven.”
“But.”
“But I didn’t believe in werewolves. So, then I wondered if I maybe had it backwards. Now I’m leaning more toward neutral. And I remind myself that people should be good regardless of what they claim to believe in. It’s their actions that matter.”
“Well said.”
“How come you’re staying on your side over there?” he asked.
She laughed. “I don’t trust myself to be closer. I might get ideas.”
“Oh yeah? What kind of ideas?”
“The kind that could make us crash and die.”
“We’re kind of hard to kill,” he reminded her.
She chuckled. “Well, I might be willing to risk it, but I find I’m not much willing to risk you.”
A fist squeezed his heart tightly, but he reached over and pulled her hand into his.
“I was thinking earlier that a lot has changed for me in the last week, but I guess you’re in a similar boat. Ending your term, making the big move, starting a whole new pack. That’s all pretty big. Making time with a dirty old werewolf.”
“It is. But it’s all good things, even though some of it will be a lot of hard work.”
He didn’t make the easy joke. “I know you’ll put your heart and soul into doing it right.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “All of it.”
“You said your friend is planning on going with you?”
“Yes, Cindy. She’s my bestie, as they say these days. She’s amazing, and it was talking to her that really sealed the deal for me on what had only been a vague thought before. And she’d been thinking the same thing, so it really worked perfectly.”
“Is she hierarchy?”
“No, a regular pack member.”
“Just her? No mate?”
“That’s one of the reasons she wants to get out of her comfort zone, explore more of the world. She hasn’t met her mate yet.”
“How long have you known her?” he asked.
“Oh, wow, about ten years I guess. We became friends pretty quickly. It’s hard to imagine her not in my life, but I think both of us still would have made this change without the other. Especially in this day and age, with being able to see each other when we phone, and texting, all that.”
“Hm, that reminds me. Any of those books you’ve narrated have sex scenes?”
She laughed. And laughed. And didn’t answer the question.
As they got closer and closer to their destination, he found himself, strangely enough, relaxing more and more. At the start of the drive, he’d have figured he’d be ready to throw the car in park and have his way with her. Instead, he was planning all the things he might do to her. Starting with the hood of the car. No, that would be too hot after the long drive. Maybe there would be a porch rail he could bend her over. No, he didn’t know the area, hadn’t scouted it. Too dangerous to be distracted outside. He’d get her inside, secure the door, and then he’d start.
Things didn’t go exactly as planned because at the last minute, when he closed the car door, he remembered they had bags. He tossed the key that Hillary had given him to Myra and grabbed their bags from the back. By the time he reached the door, she’d opened it, stepped inside and turned on the light. Perfect, he was able to see as he set their bags by the door, made sure it was locked, then turned to her.
Her look was open invitation and wanton heat. Oh yeah, she was ready for him, and he was back on plan. He stepped to her, smiling when she reached for him, but not stopping until he had her pressed against a wall. She scrabbled at his shirt, but he just cupped her face in his hands and brought his lips to hers. She stilled, everything but her lips, which opened for him. He caressed her cheekbones with his thumbs while tasting her, exploring her.
She sighed, her body melting into him. He moved one hand to the nape of her neck, used that thumb to tease the edge of her jaw, pressed his leg between hers. She whimpered and got her hands moving again, trying to work his shirt up without his cooperation. He nipped her lip, nibbled his way to her ear, sucked in the lobe. She gasped, her hands stilling on his waist for just a moment, before resuming with renewed vigor.
He pushed his thigh into her, letting her rub her clit against him. She managed to get his shirt up to his armpits, so he relented and pulled back enough for her to push it over his head. He flexed his thigh and she dropped her head against the wall with a moan. He really liked her sounds. He wanted more of them. More of her. He pulled her into another kiss, but slipped one hand down her back to tease the waistband of her skirt.
She was moving on him now, grinding against his leg, her hands gripping his sides tightly. He slid his hand down her cheek and grazed her neck lightly. She shivered against him, then gasped when he made it down to her breast. He palmed her through her shirt, letting his hand warm her until she was moaning with need. Then he gave a squeeze, at the same time pressing his thigh more firmly into her. She ripped her mouth from his and came with a short cry.
Music to his ears.
Adam unbuttoned her blouse and pushed it off her, pulled her into his arms and walked her toward the stairs while she was still recovering. His dick felt like an iron rod, but he was determined to have a bit more fun with her before he really let loose.
He eyed the stairs. Carpet. Excellent.
“How you feeling, baby?” he asked.
She blinked up at him, gave him a slow, happy grin, palmed his pecs.
He chuckled, slid one hand into her hair, gave a light tug. Her eyes went to half-mast and her nails dug in deep. He used his hand in her hair to turn her to the stairs. “Up you go, two steps.”
She tried to turn her head to look at him, but he didn’t let her. He kind of wished he could see her face, but he had plans. When she’d gone up two steps, he stopped her, leaned in close to her ear, and whispered, “Now get on your knees.”
Her sharp intake of breath and the smell of fresh cream from her body made up for missing the expression on her face. She placed her knees on the step, careful to pull her skirt free first, then leaned forward when he urged her to. He let go when she’d rested her arms along another step and turned to look back at him. The lust in her eyes was surely mirrored in his own, but he didn’t look for long, instead focusing his attention on the sweet ass displayed for him.
His palms ran over the cotton of her skirt, shaped the perfect globes. Perfect for him. He massaged until she began to wiggle then he bent forward and bit her through the cloth.
“Fuck me, please,” she begged.
“Mmm.”
He put his hands on her ankles and ran them up her legs, drawing her skirt up to her waist. He laid it over the small of her back and enjoyed the site of the lacy green underpants. Then he ripped them off.
“Oh my god!”
“Just me, baby.”
She barked out a laugh, looked at him again over her shoulder. “Please fuck me now.” She widened her knees farther along the step to make sure he fully understood the idea.
He smiled at her, slid a finger into her slick channel. Drew it out and tasted it.
Her mouth dropped open and her eyes went wide. “Adam,” she begged, a whisper this time. But he heard her.
He pulled his finger from his mouth and teased her clit with it. She rested her head against her hands and moaned. His thumb slid into her, teasing her opening while his finger worked her clit. When her legs started shaking, he eased back, trying not to smile at her little wail.
He opened his jeans and pulled his cock free, enjoying the way her eyes glittered at him as he fisted himself, guided the head to her wetness, teased her some more. She growled, pushed back as much as she could though it wasn’t much. His thighs held her steady, but he’d teased her enough. He pushed into her, seated himself in one thrust.
“Oh, fuck, yes!”
“Stay still, Myra, I don’t want you getting rug burn on your knees.”
She growled again.
“It’s okay, baby, I’ll do the work.”
He gripped her hips and began to move, rocking slowly at first to make sure she was ready, then harder when she pushed back for more. The slapping sounds of flesh meeting flesh didn’t drown out her nearly constant moans and pleas for more. He gave her more until she cried out, her channel spasming around him in release, then gave himself to the sweetness of her hold. He dropped down over her, elbow braced next to her head so he didn’t smash her into the stairs.