CHAPTER THREE
Adam woke biting back a scream. He refused to give them the pleasure of his screams. He shook his head, grimacing at the dull throbbing he became aware of, and forced his eyes open. It took him a second to understand why the scene looked wrong. He was in his cabin, not in Arizona.
Flashback. Jesus, he hadn’t had a flashback in a long time. Still, something nagged at him, insisting there was more wrong than the nightmare reminder of when he’d become a monster.
Scrubbing at his face, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, jerking free of the tangling blankets, amazed at how weak he felt. He smelled rank. Like fear and desperation. More than the flashback could account for. And he felt like shit. A quick glance around the room didn’t produce any clues, but a slight scent made its way to his nose around his own stink. A woman’s scent.
A quick flash of memory…of wavy brown hair, piercing dark eyes and strong, supportive arms. He’d been sick, and she’d been taking care of him.
He stumbled over to turn on the switch for the hot water, collapsed onto the dining room chair to wait.
His stomach roiled as the memory of meeting her in the woods struck him. She was a wolf. She was dominant. She’d controlled him.
Sheer force of will was the only thing that kept the soup and water she’d been feeding him from re-emerging. Fuck. No wonder he’d had a flashback to Arizona. To when that prick Cage had abducted him, chained him to a wall and turned him into a monster. It was the last time he’d allowed something to happen to him without his control.
Until now.
Until her.
Shit.
He took another look around the small cabin but there was nothing to indicate where the woman might be. Forcing his brain to work despite the headache, he tried to remember what had happened before he’d run into her and the local alpha. He hadn’t exactly been in control then, had he? No matter how hard he tried to focus, he could only remember smelling intruders and being certain they were up to no good. He’d been ready to attack, but was pretty sure he’d managed to give them a warning, give them a chance to escape. If they’d run, he’d have let them go. He hoped.
But they hadn’t run. They’d faced him down, and they’d won. She’d won. Put him on the ground like a newborn pup. Fuck.
Forcing his stiff body to stand, he decided to forget about what had happened and focus on the now. Yeah, right. He didn’t believe the lie even as he issued the order. Still, he dragged himself to the shower and stood under the warm spray, wishing it was harder. His whole body went on alert when he heard a sound over the water.
The woman— Myra, she’d told him her name was Myra—was moving around in the cabin, but she didn’t come close to the bathroom door.
Rage and fear teased him but he forced them away, forced his muscles to relax. He needed better control before confronting her. Either he’d attack and kill her, or she’d put him down again. Neither option was something he was willing to let happen, so he’d stay in the shower a while and hope he could get hold of himself.
Control. They’d taken it from him, turned him into an animal, but he’d escaped. And he’d vowed he would never allow himself to lose it again, either to another person or to the beast inside. In the early days, after turning, after escaping, he’d had plans for how he’d kill himself if he thought he was losing control. He’d run as far away from civilization as he could manage. Avoided all people for a time before he’d trusted himself to make limited forays into the populated world. Until he’d trusted himself enough to keep control.
For years now, it hadn’t been a big concern. Had he become complacent? So sure he’d created a life where he could manage the beast that he’d somehow let it slip, let it slowly take over?
When he heard the front door close, he turned off the water. Straining his ears, he could detect no sound or movement in the cabin. Exhausted, he carelessly swiped a towel over his body, rubbed his hair briskly, then wrapped it around his hips. He wasn’t surprised to find the cabin empty. But he was surprised to find the bed remade with fresh sheets.
Most likely he should be upset. Furious and territorial. Right now, he could barely manage to remain upright. He felt like he’d been asleep for a month and needed another week. He knew it hadn’t been long, only because his stubble wasn’t that bad. He glanced out the window and saw it was full dark. All day then. Well, he’d been completely at her mercy for hours, and so far as he could tell, she’d only fed him and cleaned up after him. Still, it didn’t change the fact that she’d had complete control over him. And still could.
He made himself go to the kitchen, pull out the cold cuts. Though he didn’t quite have the energy to make a sandwich, he forced himself to eat the whole package of meat. A hungry werewolf was not a great idea. He’d been hungry the first time he’d turned. Ravenous. They hadn’t fed him for the day and a half he’d been held captive, before the full moon. So he’d already been hungry and hurt. He’d never really be sure how long he’d been a beast before he came back to himself, the remains of a deer at his feet.
Flashes from that night had haunted his dreams for a long time, visions of his attackers stumbling back from his enraged wolf, of the blood that had coated him when he’d finally stopped long enough to take a look. How much of it was from the freaks who’d abducted him and how much was from the deer, he was careful not to consider.
Pulling the sheets back, he dropped the towel and climbed into bed. He should fight. He should run. There were plenty of forests in the United States. No reason he had to stay here. Every reason to leave. He rubbed at his gritty eyes and tried to figure out what the best plan was.
The scent of something sweet and tantalizing drew Adam from sleep again. Before he’d figured out what it was, or recognized that someone else was in the room with him, a hand touched his shoulder and he reacted.
He grabbed the hand and rolled his body, knocking the intruder to the ground and covering her body with his. She made a slight sound of pain or surprise, and he froze. Somewhere in the midst of the fall, he’d realized who it was. Had he hurt her? Had she been about to hurt him? She’d been helping him, he reminded himself.
Underneath him, she was soft and still, not fighting back. He met her clear brown gaze. She wasn’t afraid. That was good, wasn’t it? He didn’t want to scare her, he just didn’t want her to hurt him. Control him. He tried to take a deep breath to clear his head—and realized his mistake when her scent filled him. Sweet and clean and hot. Jesus. His dick came to attention and he buried his nose in her hair, gave a tiny lick to her neck.
Taste exploded on his tongue. Unable to resist, he traced the line of her jaw until he reached her chin, gave it a quick nip, then found her lips. He traced them, as well, though she opened for him immediately. She lifted her head, trying to draw him in, but he made her wait. Her hands came up to his shoulders and pulled him closer. Her body under his was warm and compliant, making him want—
He froze. Compliant?
Blinking away the lust he’d let rule his mind, he forced himself to concentrate. Pulling back, he stared at her. Her body tightened, but only for a second, before she relaxed again. She met his gaze and he waited for her to do something. To overpower him, physically or mentally, he was ready for either. But she didn’t move, just stared at him softly.
This wasn’t right. She wasn’t being submissive. Wasn’t lowering her gaze or giving him her throat. But neither was she demanding he do the same. Hell, she wasn’t even demanding he get off her body. The mental puzzle was enough to pull him back from his instincts. The ones that had started off defensive and leapt into lustful. Damn, he’d only ever worried about rage controlling him, never lust.
He moved off her slowly, not backing down, but giving them both space. Crouched a few feet from her, he waited. She sat up carefully, keeping eye contact.
“Hello, Adam. You’re looking much better.” She tugged her shirt down from where it had ridden up slightly, and he had to fight not to follow the motion with his eyes.
“Myra.”
She nodded. “I wasn’t sure how much you’d remember.”
He gestured to the couch and she smiled and broke eye contact. His senses on high alert, he gave her his back, going to the dresser for sweatpants while she took a seat. When he turned, she’d made herself comfortable, curling her bare feet up on the cushions beneath her thighs, her weight leaning on the couch arm. Not in any way defensive. Was she so sure he wouldn’t attack? Or so sure she’d easily be able to stop him if he did?
He couldn’t stop the low growl that rumbled from his throat, which brought a wary look to her face. Maybe she wasn’t as carefree as she was making out.
“Would you like me to leave?” she asked. “You could come meet me at Michael’s house, or somewhere more neutral. We do need to talk, but I’m not here to cause you any trouble.”
He shouldn’t need the reminder that something was going on, something he needed to deal with. He wasn’t going to hide from the problem, even if it meant working with people and situations that made him uncomfortable. Unless…could the woman and Michael be the ones who were responsible for the sick wolves? There was one simple way of knowing for sure, and that was asking Michael. He was more powerful than the alpha. But now he was afraid. Afraid the woman was more powerful than he was, and could force him to…what? Or had she only been stronger than him because he’d been sick?
He focused his attentions on her without meeting her eyes. She would most likely know what he was doing, but she wasn’t worried. It only took a minute to decide, yes, she was more powerful than he was. But not hugely so. He wasn’t sure what that really meant. Could she force him to do something he really didn’t want to do when he wasn’t out of his head?
He was being an idiot. Being more powerful than someone else didn’t automatically make you evil. He’d never forced his will on another wolf. In fact, other than the incident in Arizona, he’d never seen it done when it hadn’t been necessary. Like an alpha helping a younger wolf maintain control. And he had to admit, that was what the woman, Myra, had done. Helped him keep from attacking.
He shook his head and got up to start a pot of coffee. He had been out of control, not because of Michael and the woman, but because of whatever was going on in the woods. He knew that, but still, she made him wary.
She didn’t react to his abrupt movement to the kitchen area, didn’t pester him for an answer. She seemed content to wait him out and by the time he had two mugs of coffee, he was calmer.
He brought the coffee to her, despite certain instincts telling him not to get that close. She reached for the mug he offered with a dazzling smile. “Thank you so much.” His answering grunt wasn’t his finest moment, but she didn’t seem too bothered by it. He sat in the chair and took a deep breath.
“What happened to me? What’s happening in the woods?”
She blew carefully on her drink but didn’t take a sip. “I’m not sure. Michael thinks wolves are being poisoned. Two of his people were affected as well. They reacted as you did, but they were younger wolves, not as strong. Michael called the National Council for help. You know what that is?”
“Why don’t you start from the beginning, so I don’t misunderstand anything.” He wasn’t going to share that he’d hacked into their website.
She frowned a bit, but continued. “There are something like two hundred packs in the country. They each have a territory that belongs to them, that they’re responsible for. Some are small areas with large populations and some are large areas with smaller populations. It just depends on the location. Each pack has an alpha, or an alpha pair,” she continued, watching to see how much he understood. When he nodded, she continued. “Then there’s the hierarchy. The first, second, third and fourth. Each position can be held singly, or by a mated pair. Mated pairs have the same power level as each other.”
Again, she paused and he nodded for her to continue.
“There is a similar structure on a national level. Members of the hierarchy of all packs are elected to serve on the National Council. Only one wolf holds each position, even if they’re mated. The post is for one year.”
“And what kind of authority does this council have?”
“Absolute, as far as it goes. Only the more powerful alphas are elected. The position has the effect of bumping up your power level. Which means that for one year, the National President is more powerful than any other wolf.”
“That sounds dangerous to me.”
She pursed her lips. “I can see how it would. And of course, there is the potential for something to go wrong. But it’s actually pretty low. Along with the power boost comes the connection with your wolves.”
He frowned and she sighed. “You don’t know what that means. I was afraid of that.”
He didn’t say anything, not sure what the best play was and figuring silence would serve him for now.
“I’ve been down in Arizona,” she started, but it was already too much for him. It was the last thing he’d expected her to say.
He stood, stalked past her and through the front door. He kept part of his attention on the cabin, on the wolf who hadn’t threatened him overtly but had brought his fear alive again with five simple words. But he scanned the woods in the early morning light, his land, using his eyes, ears and nose to prove to himself that nothing was wrong in the immediate area. Nothing but him.
After a couple of minutes, he ran his fingers through his hair, took a deep breath, and faced the cabin. She stood in the doorway, watching him with sympathy.
He narrowed his eyes. What did she know to be feeling sympathetic? Well, she’d said she’d been to Arizona, so maybe she knew everything. Which meant…what?
“Arizona,” he prompted.
She moved out onto the porch and lowered herself to the step, wrapping her arms around her knees. He wondered if the move was meant to make her appear less dangerous. Not that she appeared dangerous at all. That was only an instinct, and it wasn’t fooled at all by her new position.
“Yes. A wolf out in Idaho found his mate recently, and discovered that she’d been attacked by a werewolf and forcibly turned.”
He couldn’t keep the tension from his body, knew she’d be as aware of it as he was. “Is that right? That kind of thing happen a lot?”
Her face softened even further, and now there was sadness in those eyes. “No. No, it doesn’t happen very often at all. Which is why I was called in to deal with it.”
“Because you’re on this council?”
“This year’s National President.”
Well. “They called in the big guns, huh?”
“Some very tough decisions had to be made, and nobody else could make them.”
“Why don’t you just cut to the chase and tell me what you came here to tell me.”
“All right. Hillary told us she’d been taken to a ranch out in Arizona, where she was attacked and raped and held until the full moon. She managed to keep from turning until the pack thought she wasn’t going to make it and left her to die. Then she turned and made her escape.”
His knees felt a bit wobbly, but he locked them tight, leaned back against a tree.
“Hillary stayed away from other werewolves for the next four years, so we knew nothing about it. As soon as I found out, I went to the pack that covers the territory she was taken to. I discovered that the pack had gone bad, knew they had a rogue contingent, but hid their heads in the sand. They were willing to let these atrocities stand rather than call for help.”
Adam kept his eyes focused on Myra’s fingers, which had turned white from clenching her legs so tightly. There was a barely banked fury in her voice that he wondered at.
“Atrocities?” he managed to ask.
“It’s the tamest word I can come up with right now.” She cleared her throat but it was still husky with anger when she continued. “What these wolves did was not only evil, it was downright stupid. It’s not how humans are turned into werewolves. The chances of success are minimal, and if they do manage to find someone strong enough to survive the turn, there’s zero chance that person will just meekly accept a place in that pack, under an insane alpha.”
“Is that right?”
She dropped her hands and stood, facing him more fully. “Adam, I’m not here to be coy. I interrogated both packs, the legitimate and the rogue. I disbanded both packs. I decided who would live and who would die. And when I found out that another victim had survived, had made the change and escaped, I knew I wouldn’t rest until I found him.”
“So you can decide if he should live or die?”
Her shock was real and unmistakable. “No!” She scrubbed her hands over her face, said more quietly, “No. So that I could tell him that while I could never make right what had happened to him—to you—that the bastards have been taken care of and won’t be hurting anyone ever again.”
“That’s good to know. Thanks for stopping by.” He didn’t bother to move, knew it wasn’t that simple. Not after what had happened. Not after he’d almost attacked her and Michael. Without real provocation.
“We’d begun looking for you but weren’t having much luck. Michael had called in a report about the trouble you all are having out here, and we would have sent someone down to help check it out. But when you came forward he remembered I had sent out a request for information on a strong, unknown wolf, so here I am. I’m thankful we’ve found you, but I’m sorry it’s taken something bad happening for us to meet.” She gestured to the woods behind him. “But we can help each other. I’m getting the sense you care about your land. The animals on that land. Even if you don’t get poisoned again, does it bother you that the natural wolves are dying? And that they’re dying badly?”
A growl slipped free of his throat. She smiled, though it was of the joyless variety. “That’s kind of what I meant before, about the connection the National President has with their wolves. It’s similar, though much deeper, than what you probably feel for the local natural pack. I’m sure you’ve seen it in action, if you think about it. You’ve probably felt it. You’re a strong wolf, your natural instinct is to take care of those weaker than you are, which is most wolves that you meet.”
He did know what she meant, now that she’d pointed it out. Had felt it most strongly with the wolves that roamed near his cabin, but remembered following a pair of drunk teenage girls, shifters, around town until they’d been collected by a stronger wolf, someone he now realized was probably in their pack’s hierarchy. He’d called himself a fool, told himself he was being a creepy stalker, but he just couldn’t walk away until he’d been sure the girls were safely in the hands of someone who could see to their welfare.
There had been other instances, a wolf he’d come across in Kansas, a young man who’d managed to break his leg while alone in the woods. He’d been irritated, but unable to walk away without seeing the wolf to safety. Because he was the stronger wolf, the one in control. Which, reminded him he owed her an apology.
“I’m sorry,” told her, gruffly. “About earlier.”
Myra felt herself blush. “No, I should apologize.”
Adam blinked, stared at her for a moment. “I lost control.”
“I think you showed amazing control. Waking up, after being so sick, to someone touching you, but you controlled the situation, didn’t hurt me, while making sure you could protect yourself.” She sat back on the porch step again.
“I meant…the other part.” He rubbed the back of his neck wearily. “Are you so powerful that you weren’t even nervous I would overpower you?”
“When a strong, naked, attractive wolf is lying on top of me—” She cleared her throat. “Again, I’d say I’m the one who should apologize. I shouldn’t have encouraged you. I’ve been here, helping you, watching you, and…well, you’ve been sick, mostly asleep…so it’s inappropriate…I…you—”
“Jesus, stop,” he interrupted her.
She cleared her throat. “Anyway, no need for you to apologize to me.” She stood. “You should eat. I still have Michael’s truck. We could go into town, get some breakfast. Or to the pack house. Unless you’d rather…” She gestured to the woods.
He looked over his shoulder, turned back to her with a questioning look. “How bad would it be if you got infected with this poison?”
She froze, didn’t even breath while the implications of that raced through her brain. Her panic at the thought must have been strong enough to transmit through the bonds she held, because she received some faint, questioning impressions. Forcing in a deep breath, she blew it out and sent back as much a feeling of calm as she could. She’d need to spend some time on the telephone soon. For now, she just nodded.
“Yeah, that would be pretty bad.”
“Then we’ll stick to town. As far as I know, everyone who’s gotten sick has been in the woods.”
They went into the cabin. He moved to the dresser and pulled on jeans and a sweater while she gathered the little bag that held her essentials. Michael had brought it last night, meeting her nearby. She pulled out the car keys and they headed out. As they approached the truck, she sensed Adam’s hesitation.
“Would you prefer to drive?”
“You wouldn’t mind?”
“Not at all.” She held out the keys, met his eyes as he took them from her. Whatever she could do to give him security and safety, she was happy to do.
They were on their way, and she held her silence to match his.
“What’s it like, how’s it different, living with the pack?” he asked, after a time.
“Well, you have to understand, I was born and raised as a werewolf, I’ve never known different. But, current statistics are that we’re about seventy-five percent born wolves, and twenty-five percent turned. And whenever a turned wolf joins a pack, we all make an effort to help them through any confusion, so I think I have a fair idea of what is different.”
“Turned. Maybe you could tell me about that.” His hands flexed on the steering wheel.
“Okay.” She twisted a bit so that she was looking at him. “What happens is that a wolf meets someone that they believe to be their mate. Their alpha will confirm the connection and help the wolf explain about being a shifter.”
He grunted. “That must be interesting.”
She smiled. “I’ve only done it a couple of times. The thing is, it’s not about logic. There’s magic involved.”
The look he turned to her managed to convey skepticism perfectly.
“No, really. Seriously, how else can you explain that your body shifts into a wolf? I mean, your very bones reshape themselves, how is that not extraordinary and magical?”
He gave a grudging nod.
“My point is, it’s not like regular humans. Mates coming together, it’s an amazing thing, something most humans are never able to experience, and that is terribly sad to me.”
He glanced at her but didn’t say anything. She cleared her throat and went on. “So while, in the abstract, it sounds ridiculous explaining that to someone you’ve just met, in reality, they’re feeling the pull, the connection, the magic, just as the wolf is. Plus, once someone changes to show them, so they can’t argue the reality of it, things tend to simplify.”
“And if someone chooses not to change?”
She nodded. “It’s rare, but of course not impossible. Sometimes the wolf doesn’t get over it. Some can have sex, relationships even, but never find another mate. Others are lucky enough to find another mate, though it’s usually many years later. Again, the whole scenario is pretty rare, so there arent’ a lot of examples to learn from.”
He braked the truck as they came to another road and he started to turn toward the town. “I thought wolves mated for life. How can they find another one?”
“We do mate for life. And we live slightly longer than humans. But if you haven’t actually mated, that’s different. But once you have mated, there’s no straying, no desire to seek out someone else, no need to worry about losing that connection.”
“And if one of them dies? Do they just find another mate?”
Her stomach turned, but she forced her voice to stay steady. “That is also very rare. Mostly because we’re harder to kill, so if one dies, they’ve been a mated pair for a very long time. The idea of giving up that piece, that last connection, with your missing mate, I don’t think most widowed wolves are capable of that. But there certainly are cases of it happening, when many years have passed.” She paused, and maybe the silence was heavy, because he glanced at her but didn’t say anything. “I was mated.”
His head whipped around to look at her, his foot coming off the gas for just a second before he returned his attention to the road.
“We were young. I was still in college. His name was Eric. We were together for three years when he was killed. He was a police officer and someone shot him right in the head, point blank.” She turned back to face the windshield, needing a minute. Then had to swallow back the tears when he quietly laid a hand on her thigh.
This lone wolf who wasn’t used to pack, to touch, to comfort of any sort, was offering that to her. She blinked hard. “I like the idea that someone who’s lost that love could find it again, but I can’t—” She shook her head. “I can’t actually imagine it.”
She stayed silent as he drove through the little town to a diner. They got out and took seats in the small, warm room that looked more like a house than a restaurant. Once they’d ordered, steak and eggs for both of them, she leaned back against her chair and looked at him. He appeared much better, much healthier. Much more handsome, if it could be believed.
“You look better. How do you feel?”
“Pretty much normal. But very hungry.” He glanced around the room surreptitiously. “You guys were thinking poison.”
She nodded. “I don’t have any other ideas. But, the pack says they haven’t run into any humans who could be putting it out.”
“Ask them if they’ve been hearing planes. Small, low-level planes, flying over more frequently than before.”
Well, that was interesting. She nodded, frowned. “I’ll do that. And need to think about who I can contact to look into that if it is the source. How to track—” She broke off as the waiter brought their food. A small family sat at the table behind Adam, who was holding his knife and fork, waiting for her to begin. Smiling, she dug in.
When he’d eaten half the steak, she decided to see if she could get him talking a bit more. Taking a long drink of her soda, she studied him over the rim. It had been embarrassing admitting her attraction to him, and a little bit disconcerting feeling it so strongly while she was having such vivid memories of her time with Eric—meeting him, losing him—but she could hardly help herself. He wasn’t just attractive. His strength and integrity shown through to her so much that she was amazed Michael and Linda had questioned it at all.
“Will you tell me a bit about you? Your life?”
He watched her thoughtfully while he chewed. “Tell me again what your plans were, for when you found me.”
She blinked. Ouch. Okay, he deserved to be skeptical. “My plans were to make sure you were okay, living a good life. I had hoped that you would have moved on and found a place for yourself in our society, but I was worried, because if that was the case, we’d have heard about you, known about you. So, that was my plan. Find out why you were still anonymous, if you were still alive, and do what I could to make sure you knew you had people who care, who want you to be safe and whole and welcome.”
He didn’t look convinced. “You said you had to make hard decisions, in Arizona,” he reminded her.
“Yes, that’s true.” She glanced at the family eating and talking behind him, lowered her voice a tad. “Do you want me to tell you that if we’d found you and discovered that you were a madman, who’d somehow managed to stay under the radar but was hurting or killing humans or wolves, that I would have ended you? That is true, I would have. It would have sucked. But I wasn’t really concerned about that, it would have been nearly impossible for you to be those things and have remained undetected for so long.”
“You mean like Cage and his band of assholes did?”
“Touché.” She grimaced, put her knife and fork down. “You’re right, but I can only tell you again how rare it is that managed to happen, and while I would have dealt with it had it happened again, with you, I didn’t really worry that it might.”
“You’re so sure you could have handled it?”
She considered sugarcoating it, decided he could handle the truth. Would need to understand the truth, if he was to accept the life she wanted him to live, one where he was in contact with wolves, if not an active part of a pack.
“Yes, I’m sure. Between my strength and Michael’s, what he could pull on from his pack if he’d needed to, and what I can, and did, pull on from the other alphas while I’m National President, it wouldn’t have been a fight. Fights between wolves are fairly rare, and they’re between wolves of equal strength.”
She let him think about that for a minute while she ate a couple of bites.
“That strength, that I have, that I have access to. That you have. With it comes responsibility. It’s why the strong amongst us are so driven to help the weaker. It’s a compulsion.”
He didn’t look confused, so she pushed. “You’ve felt it.”
No response.
“Is that why you’ve stayed away from the packs?”
He stared at her, his face expressionless, but she gave him only patience in return.
He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Maybe some of it. I wasn’t going to risk falling under someone’s authority, but yeah. I had no interest in being that authority and I could feel the tug of it, if I was around the younger wolves long enough.”
She nodded, took the last bite of her steak.
“That doesn’t make you mad?” he asked.
Surprised, she looked back up at him. “I think you earned the right to ease into all of this—if,” she added quickly, “you want in at all. My hope is that you do, and that you’ll find the peace and comfort that I know you can in a pack, but as long as you aren’t harming anyone, I’m not judging your choices.”
He paid the bill despite her protests, so she decided it was a good time to try to bring the conversation back to him.
“How do you make a living?”
He held the diner’s door open for her, then followed her to the truck, waiting until he’d eased back onto Main Street to glance at her.
“Computers.”
“Oh, right, you were a computer science teacher. That’s good, then. You were able to do that remotely?”
“Yes.”
“You avoided people for a time, but then began to feel more comfortable? Safe?”
He sighed, settled into his seat, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on his thigh. She licked her lips.
“For the first year or so, I stayed away. Lived in the woods a lot, stole a bit of camping gear now and then. I don’t feel great about that, but it was better than risking hurting someone.”
“I understand.”
“Eventually I decided I was safe enough to go to the library, access my bank accounts, that sort of thing. I moved around, tried out different areas, ended up here a few years ago.”
“What about people? You can’t be all alone all the time.”
“I wasn’t really good company for a long time. Now, I have some people, reconnected with a couple of people from my old life, mostly online, I have…relationships, when I want to.”
Since he gave her the side eye, she understood he meant sex, merely smiled.
“You don’t need to worry about me,” he said, putting both hands back on the wheel. “I’m comfortable with my life. I appreciate that you wanted to check on that, but once this poison business is taken care of, you can cross me off your list of things to handle.”
She leaned against her door, pulled one leg up onto the seat and hooked her arm around her knee. “That’s great to know. I’m glad.” She meant it. Of course, she left a lot of what she meant unspoken, but he wasn’t an idiot. He knew full well she wasn’t going to be satisfied with that.
“Mmm, hmm.”
Laughing, she reached out and pushed his shoulder. “I’m serious! I’m glad you’re safe and sane and reasonably content. I’m pleased that I can cross you off my list as an obligation that needed to be fulfilled before I felt right about handing over the presidency.” And if that meant any further dealings with him were her business, not National’s business, yay for her.
She let that thought run through her body, warming her up from the inside. He wasn’t oblivious, was at least partially in tune with her, whether he realized it or not.
He pulled in a breath and turned to look at her, bringing the truck to a stop on the side of the highway. As he watched her, heat came into his eyes. It satisfied her, thrilled her, enticed her.
But he wasn’t ready yet. She looked out the window beyond him. “Where are we going?”
He watched her for a minute. “That’s the question. Where do you want to go?”
“I’ve been in contact with Linda and Michael, they’ll call me if anything new happens.”