Chapter 24

“Bacon. Me. Good.” Kiera barely opened one eye, muttering her response to his breakfast food question.

“That’s it?” Quinn clarified, standing next to the bed. He’d woken up easily, still full of endorphins from last night. “Just bacon? No eggs? Toast?”

“Only if bacon is on it.”

He chuckled. “Okay, so bacon with a side of eggs and toast.”

“Hrmph,” she mumbled, pulling the pillow over her face and curling back under the covers.

Still chuckling to himself, Quinn pulled on a pair of sweatpants, letting them sit low on his hips as he headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Last night had been a whirlwind, and he was still riding the high from seeing his art loved and appreciated by complete strangers from all over New York.

He spread toothpaste over his toothbrush and wet it with water under the faucet. Staring at himself in the bathroom mirror as he brushed, Quinn reminisced over the last few months of his life.

This time last year, he’d been on top of the world. His career had been his main focus, and while he’d enjoyed making metal sculptures and figures on the side, he hadn’t ever considered it more than a hobby. He’d traveled with Kane, made deals for him that made them both filthy rich, and actively recruited and signed new talent under the Kavanagh Legends brand.

Then the accident had happened. Winter thawed into spring and he hadn’t been able to enjoy a single moment of it. His recovery had been long and hard, but as spring turned into summer, he’d slowly begun to see glimpses of his old self again. Physical therapy with Kiera, rebuilding his strength at Legends gym, and the morning swims he did several days a week might not have brought him back to his former glory, but they had him walking without a cane and feeling normal again. The pain was less, medications fewer, and his confidence restored.

Now his career was going in a whole new direction—an artistic path he’d never before considered—and he loved it. He was still working for his father and his brother, but sharing the workload with Flynn a little more willingly. Quinn had definitely been unsure about the guy at first, but honestly, he was glad to have the help. Less time over there meant more time in his studio, and since the gallery had offered him another spot in their next showcase in the spring, as well as having received several offers for commissioned pieces, he could use the extra time.

Quinn knew he had Kiera to thank for almost all of his new life. She’d helped him get out of his own way, stop his pity party, and do what he needed to do to get better and chase dreams he hadn’t even known he had. Not once did she treat him like an invalid, or show even a flash of disgust at the scars on his legs or back, or doubt his art and talent. She accepted him wholeheartedly, and through her eyes, he’d learned to accept himself the way he was, too. She was pushing him to be the best version of himself, and he finally felt he had the direction and motivation to do just that.

Quinn rinsed out his mouth and grabbed a washcloth, preparing to clean his face.

Kiera was here almost every night, and he woke up to her gorgeous face every morning. It was, very literally, everything he’d ever wanted. She was everything he’d ever wanted. In fact, he wanted it so much he had already made a copy of his house key for her and he planned to present it to her today and ask her to move in with him.

Since returning to New York and giving up her apartment back in Seattle, she’d been technically living with her mom, but she spent almost every night with him. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind she’d say yes, but he didn’t just want to lob the question at her. He wanted it to be special somehow, a romantic moment, and that would take a little planning.

Quinn had almost asked her at Thanksgiving a few days ago, but his whole family had been there. They were a lot in general, but on the off chance Kiera said no to his proposal to move in together, he couldn’t risk his brothers seeing that. He’d considered making it a Christmas gift, but that was still over three weeks away and he wasn’t sure he could wait much longer.

Splashing his face with water, he rinsed himself clean and headed for the kitchen to begin making breakfast, his mind still contemplating possible romantic gestures. He grabbed a package of bacon out of the fridge, along with some eggs, cheese, and butter, and moved to set it all on the counter, then frowned when he couldn’t find any free space.

Stacks of mail and random clutter they’d dropped here over the last few days had taken over his counter. Quinn shoved some of the junk aside and laid the breakfast supplies down, then began sorting the mail into smaller piles. That done, he attacked everything else, putting things back where they belonged.

Kiera’s purse was splayed across the counter as well, so he lifted it by the handle and turned to carry it over to the side table by the front door. The handle slipped from his grasp and the purse flipped over; its contents immediately tumbled out and scattered across the floor.

“Fuck,” Quinn groaned, trying to catch several things in midair but failing miserably.

Exhaling loudly, he put the purse back on the counter and bent down to begin retrieving the spilled contents. His knee complained a bit at the motion, but he scooped everything up anyway. “How the hell did all this fit in that little bag in the first place?” he moaned, even though no one was around to hear him. Standing again, he put everything that had fallen back on the counter and began replacing the items.

…Seattle, Washington, for the upcoming spring term.

Quinn’s hand paused, his eyes flickering back to the words on the sheet of paper he’d just been sliding into Kiera’s purse. A familiar nervousness churned in his stomach as he pulled the paper back out and unfolded it so he could read the whole thing.

…your acceptance to the Myers Truman Physical Therapy Fellowship…Seattle, Washington…upcoming spring term…a subsequent acceptance to the University of Washington…the remainder of your training…

Quinn dropped the letter back onto the cluttered counter, his hand flying to his stomach as a wave of nausea hit him so hard he was sure he’d lose it. One hand on the counter’s edge and his eyes closed, he inhaled slowly until he felt it pass.

This had to be wrong.

Opening his eyes, he picked up the letter again and checked the date.

“Shit,” he groaned quietly, reading the entire letter a second, and third, time.

The date was a little over a week ago, but there was no mistaking it was correct. This letter was about the January semester starting in a month…in Seattle! Based on the date it was mailed out, Kiera must have gotten it sometime in the last few days.

And she’d said nothing to him—not about the acceptance, or that she’d even applied to something that could take her thousands of miles away.

Quinn’s mind started running through the possibilities at hyperspeed. Maybe she’d wanted this fellowship from the start and he was just a distraction for her while she was here. Maybe she’d forgotten all about what sounded like the biggest opportunity of her life or was trying to find the best time to tell him she was leaving. Maybe she’d already turned it down and would spend the rest of their life together regretting what she’d given up.

“I must have been tired last night to have left my lipstick on the floor.”

Quinn spun around to see Kiera bending down to scoop up a small tube of lipstick he must have missed when it rolled out of her purse. She stood back up and smiled at him, displaying the metal tube in one hand.

“Kiera…” He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to even begin to ask her about the letter…to ask if she was leaving.

The smile on her lips slowly slipped away as her brows furrowed and her eyes flickered down to the letter in his hands. A look of horror overtook her as her eyes suddenly widened and she began shaking her head. “Quinn, that’s not what it looks like.”

He dropped the letter onto the counter behind him. “You sure about that? The letter is pretty clear.”

Kiera’s tongue slid across her lower lip, and she fidgeted with the tube of lipstick in her hands. “I mean, it is, but…”

“But what, Kiera? You applied to a program across the country and didn’t tell me. You got into this program and didn’t tell me.” He hadn’t expected his voice to sound so angry or get so loud, but the way she stepped back ever so slightly sent guilt coursing through him when he realized he was yelling at her. Trying to return his voice to its normal volume, he continued, “You’re leaving, and you hid it from me.”

“I wasn’t hiding anything,” she said, a pleading lilt in her tone. Her eyes downcast, she fiddled with her fingers. “But I didn’t tell you—”

Quinn tossed his arms up in the air. “Oh, because that makes so much sense? You weren’t hiding anything, but you didn’t tell me—okay, I got it,” he said sarcastically, his volume increasing again.

He couldn’t seem to stop. He was escalating things, and he knew that could be disastrous, but for the life of him, he couldn’t stop. Panic coursed through him as everything he’d felt over the last six years slammed back at one time. His mind kept replaying the moment he’d walked up to her door only to find out she’d already left without ever saying goodbye.

It was happening again, and he’d barely survived it the first time.

He couldn’t survive it again.

Kiera shook her head, her words coming out more pronounced as a fire seemed to light inside her. “Quinn, stop. I didn’t tell you because I only got the letter yesterday. I couldn’t tell you that kind of news right before your show!”

Quinn tried to slow the anxieties welling up inside him—deep breaths, slowing his heart rate back down as he focused on what she was saying. She was right about the timing—finding this out before his show last night would have destroyed what had easily been one of the best nights of his life. “So, when were you going to tell me about it?” he asked, trying to find the rational side of himself again.

Kiera shrugged, dropping her hands to her hips. “Honestly? I don’t know. Maybe never.”

“You were never going to tell me?” He blinked, his mouth falling open. A sharp pain flared in his chest at the idea of her leaving without a single word. “How can you say that, Kiera? We’re supposed to be partners—you’re my girlfriend. This is a huge thing not to tell me.”

“I know it’s huge. I mean, it’s a dream opportunity, but this is my decision. If I told you, you’d just be upset—like you are now—and try to change my mind.”

Quinn felt like she’d just slapped him across the face. She thought he’d try to stand between her and her dreams. She thought he’d talk her out of taking the fellowship just because he wanted her to stay with him. How could she think he was that selfish?

Am I that selfish?

She’d planned on never telling him. She’d planned on just leaving him in a month without saying a word. She loved him…he’d been so sure of that last night and so many nights before that. But now he wasn’t sure of anything. It had taken every bit of strength he had to open his heart to her again after losing her once. He’d been a fool, and he hated himself for it.

This time, it didn’t just feel like a rejection. It felt like betrayal and stung so much more.

Dropping his head into his hands, he pushed his fingers through his hair. Out. He needed out. He needed to stretch his legs and be anywhere other than in front of the woman he loved, being told for the second time that she didn’t feel the same way.

Storming over to the side table, he grabbed his keys. Every part of his body felt ready to explode as panic welled in his chest, his heart pounding. “I can’t do this. I need to go.”

Kiera’s eyes widened, and the panic he felt was reflected on her face. “Quinn, stop! We need to talk about this!”

“What’s there to talk about?” he said, refusing to look at her as he pulled on a jacket and headed for the door. “You just admitted you weren’t planning on doing just that. How did you think I’d feel when I came home a month from now to find you’d up and left without saying a word? AGAIN. Kiera, I can’t do this again. I can’t.” His final words caught in his throat.

“Leave you? What are you talking about?” Kiera grabbed his arm and jumped in front of him. “Can you please just stop and talk to me for a second?”

“Let go of me,” he growled, shaking her hands off his arm and grabbing the doorknob. “Why wait a month to break up with me before you go to school? Let’s just end things now.”

“Damn it, Quinn! I’m not going anywhere—I’m turning it down!” she shouted back, the sound of her foot stomping on the floor echoing throughout the apartment.

He paused, the cool metal of the knob in his hand. “You’re what?”

She huffed out a loud breath of frustration as he turned to look at her. A single tear streaked down her cheek. He wanted to wipe it away. He wanted to apologize for ever putting it there. No matter how badly he felt, he didn’t ever want to see her hurting.

Kiera took a deep breath. “I’m turning down my spot in the fellowship program. I already decided that a few minutes after I got the letter,” she explained. “It’s done. It’s decided.”

Quinn’s gaze dropped to the floor, then moved back up her body slowly as he tried to decide which of the many conflicting emotions inside him he should go with. “It’s a dream opportunity, Kiera. You said that yourself. You can’t turn it down.”

“I can, and I will on Monday. I want to.” Her hands were on his forearms, sliding up until she was holding his shoulders. “Quinn, please. Look at me.”

Panic still swirled in his gut, but he swallowed it down and lifted his eyes to hers.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said again, softer this time. “I’m not leaving you. I’d never do that. Not now that I know what this is…what we are.” She gestured between them, stepping closer to him. “Or what we could become. I did that once before—pushing away what I felt between us for my career. That didn’t make me happy, at least nowhere near what I feel when I’m with you. This is the dream I want. Us.”

His tongue slid out across his bottom lip as the truth in her gaze resonated in his gut. She wasn’t leaving. This wasn’t six years ago. This was now.

“Tell me one thing, Kiera.” His fears still roared in his gut. “Tell me why you applied to the program in the first place.”

She let out a long sigh. “I applied almost a year ago, Quinn. I didn’t know that I’d run into you again, or that any of this would happen. At the time, it was my dream program and fellowship, but it’s very selective and I didn’t get in. I was wait-listed long before we met again. Then I got the letter yesterday that a spot had opened up, and it was mine. I was shocked, sure, but I love where I am now…and who I’m with.”

He studied her face as she spoke—how her lips twitched into a small smile when she talked about the program and her acceptance, the warmth and love when she talked about him. “Is the program better than the one you’re currently in?” he asked, probing further.

She dipped her head slightly, casting her gaze to the floor, then nodded. “Yes.”

Quietness descended over the two of them as they stood close but not touching. After a moment, Quinn circled her waist with his arms and pulled her against his chest, burying his face in her hair. He just needed to feel her, to hold her, to know she still wanted to be here with him.

She turned her head to the side just enough to face him, her arms around his waist holding on just as tight. Her lips grazed over his for a slow moment until they finally pressed together. “Quinn, I want to be with you. I don’t want to go anywhere. This is my choice.”

He said nothing, kissing her again instead. For so long, he’d been waiting for the moment their fairytale would fall apart just like it had six years ago. He thought he’d put those fears behind him, but his reaction just now had him reeling to understand himself as he continued to kiss her. His entire body had locked up, his heart racing, his mind whirling…all at the thought of history repeating itself.

Quinn had spent his entire life being needed. He was the man everyone else went to when they needed help. He helped rebuild the family business when his brothers weren’t there. He stepped in to protect his family when someone tried to hurt one of them. He was needed, but he didn’t need anyone.

Until his accident. Until Kiera.

She was the only one with the power to break him.

He cupped her face in his hands, her cheeks under his palms as he kissed her. A wetness smoothed against the back of his hand, and he was surprised when he realized they weren’t her tears…they were his. He leaned away, inhaling slowly before letting it all out in one loud rush.

“You have to take the fellowship, Keeks.”

It was that simple. He wouldn’t stand between her and something she loved so much. She was an amazing physical therapist—as her former patient, he could personally attest to that. Just like she’d helped him make his art a priority, he wanted to make her career one, as well. She’d regret it if she didn’t, and if there was one thing he wanted more than anything, it was for her to never regret him.

But even more than that, he knew she wanted to. She wanted to go, and maybe not today, or even a month from now, but eventually she’d leave. She’d resent him for stopping her, and she’d go. He’d made himself a promise a long time ago—he was never going to be that man from six years ago, brokenhearted and rejected. He’d guard his heart long before he’d let her shatter it again.

It was his turn to say goodbye. His turn to walk away.

“Quinn…” she started.

“I could stand here and explain to you all the reasons why, but you already know. You know in your gut. And I would never want to change that for you, or stand in your way. Kiera, you’re an amazing doctor and I’ve seen you working—you’re so damn happy doing it. It’s who you are, and you’ve worked damn hard to get to where you are. You deserve to be in the best program. You deserve this fellowship. You have to take it, Keeks.”

A tear slid from the corner of her eye down her cheek. “But—”

“Kiera, take it,” he interrupted her, his voice becoming more firm. “I want you to take it. I want you to go.”

“You want me to go?” Her voice was so filled with sorrow, so desolate, yet so resigned to their truth. “Why can’t you come with me?”

Quinn shook his head. That was certainly out of the question. He’d never lived outside of Woodlawn—no one in his family had. They were a unit—solid and loyal. He’d never abandon them. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Why? Your family will understand,” Kiera pleaded, a desperation to her voice. She grabbed his arm, but he pulled it away. “Why can’t we move together?”

“It’s not just about my family, Kiera.” He clenched his teeth together, his gaze angled slightly up and to the right of hers. “It’s about my whole life. My studio is here and I’m starting a new career here; my job is here; my entire life has been on these streets. Everyone I love is here.”

“Not everyone,” Kiera countered. “I’m not here. I won’t be here.”

Before she had the chance to say another word, he was turning back to the door. “I said what I said, Kiera. I’m working in the studio today, so you can pack your things.”

“Quinn!” she called out as he closed the door between them.

He paused on the other side, collecting himself. Her soft cries of anguish were audible, but he did nothing. He said nothing. Nothing while he welded the beginnings of a new piece together. Nothing when Kiera came down the stairs an hour later with her suitcase in tow. Nothing when she stood and watched him, waiting for him to change his mind.

And then she was gone, and in a way, so was he.