Chasing Love by Melissa West (13)

Goose bumps had covered Lila’s skin the moment Charlie said it, and now, an hour later, they were back at the campsite and she still couldn’t feel her fingers or her toes. She kept looking over at him, waiting for him to elaborate, to hint at what he meant. Or, you know, to pull her into his arms and kiss the breath out of her. Either way, she needed him to do something.

But instead, they continued on the trail, Charlie talking about this plant or that, this stream and the kinds of fish you could catch in it, and all the while, Lila had one thought and one thought alone on her mind: Do you want me?

Because he kept saying these things that took her breath away and then turning away and shutting down, and Lila didn’t know if that meant he was attracted to her, but didn’t feel anything serious, something worth risking his friendship with Lucas. Or if he had real feelings for her, tangible, all-encompassing feelings. The kind of feelings where he couldn’t stop thinking about her, the way she couldn’t keep her mind off him, and was battling inside his head a war over being loyal to Lucas or trying things with her because he knew this thing between them could be amazing if he’d just take a chance.

But then those were a lot of ifs, and surely that many ifs didn’t equal reality.

In a way, she knew it had to be hard for him. Lucas would never be okay with her dating one of his friends. But this wasn’t just any friend; this was Charlie. Charlie, a man so good he didn’t even see himself clearly. Lucas had to know that Charlie was amazing, though, or he would never have asked him to look after her.

Because he was amazing. Funny and smart and kind and he made her feel so safe and—

Lila paused mid-motion. She wasn’t afraid. She was setting up two folding chairs for them and a small folding table, while Charlie made dinner. And she wasn’t afraid.

Here she was, in the middle of the woods, darkness surrounding them, a few lanterns Charlie had brought their only light and then the stars and moon above, and yet . . . she wasn’t scared. Not even a little bit.

For six months, she had lived in a closet, closing off everyone, and being so over-the-top she bordered on obsessive, all so she wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Wouldn’t be so stupid.

Because that was what it all came down to—she was stupid before, and she would never allow herself to be stupid again.

So she went about her day, she woke and worked on her kickboxing and self-defense training, and then she continued on in her day, but she was always on edge. Even in Crestler’s Key. Her eyes always a little wide, her back always a little too straight, always tense.

But not now.

Her gaze cut over to Charlie, who was finishing up the steak and potatoes on the grill, and before she could stop herself, her emotions took over and she blurted, “I need to know what you’re doing.”

He paused midway to flipping one of the steaks, and his eyebrows rose to his hairline. “Grilling . . . you know, pretty much the only option we have out here.”

“Not with that,” Lila spit out, aggravated now. “With me, with us. What are you doing? Why do you keep saying things that read like you want me, but then you back away? Because I gotta tell you, I’ve lived in a prison for six freaking months. Unable to take a step without being absolutely petrified, looking over my shoulder all the time, unable to draw a real breath. Basically, a complete and total mess except when I’m with you! And I don’t know what that means, but it has to mean something, and I can’t just pretend that I don’t—when you and I—and this is—” Tears burned her eyes, her throat closing up, and in one move, Charlie dropped the spatula in his hand and pulled her to his chest, his arms around her.

“It’s okay . . . I’m here.”

She tried to fight back the sob working through her chest, but she knew it was a futile effort. Finally, she released the control she’d been holding onto so tightly, and without the weight on her shoulders, her knees buckled, her body too exhausted to try anymore. Charlie grabbed her and then before she could think or guess what he was doing, he swept her into his arms, cradling her close. He walked over to one of the foldout chairs and sat down, Lila still in his arms.

Wiping away her tears, he held her face in his hands, his eyes narrowed in concern, and she started crying all over again. Because this was exactly what a man wanted—a woman to scream at him, then cry her eyes out.

“Please, tell me what’s going on,” he said. “Why are you scared? Why did Lucas ask me to protect you? What happened to you? Because I swear to God, I will snap someone’s neck if they hurt you. I will hunt him down this second and take him out. Just point me in the right direction and he’s gone, poof. But you have to tell me, because I keep seeing you tense up and it’s killing me inside. I know you, and this, this isn’t you. The Lila I know is fearless.”

“I used to be,” Lila said, wiping away another tear.

“Until . . . ? What happened?”

Lila turned her head and noticed the grill, the steaks sizzling. “You should probably get the food off.”

“And then you’ll talk to me? Because I get it if you need a minute, but I think we need to talk about this.”

She eyed the fire, the reds and oranges dancing, and felt the words rising up in her. “Okay.”

“I’ll be right back. Two seconds.” Charlie stood up and set her back in the chair, then peered down at her with concern.

“I’m okay.”

“No, darlin’, I don’t think you are.”

Her lip trembled, and she glanced away from him before she lost it again.

Quickly, Charlie went to work taking the food off the grill, made two plates and returned with two beers. He set their food on the small fold-out table and moved it in front of them.

“I get it if you don’t want to eat right now, but we hiked all day, and you need to refuel your body.”

“See? Like that. That’s exactly what I meant when I started this whole thing. Why do you care so much?”

Charlie opened his mouth, then ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. “All right, how about we make a deal? You tell me why you’re afraid, and I’ll tell you why I am.”

She stared at him, his eyes locked on hers, nothing but honesty there, and she could only nod. “I’ll try, but do you care if we eat first? I don’t know if I’ll be able to once we start talking.”

Charlie opened his beer and then hers. “You and me both.” He took a long pull, then a second, and she did the same, both of them needing a little liquid courage.

They dove into their food, eating in silence except for the easy sounds of the woods surrounding them. A large, full moon shined down from above them, and Lila thought maybe she could live in the mountains after all.

“I’ve never had potatoes and onions like this before,” she said after a while.

“Family recipe. I’m surprised Lucas never made it for you.”

She guffawed. “Lucas cook? He can’t even boil water.”

Charlie was staring at her now, but not in that longing-for-something way he had earlier. Now he was waiting, trying to be patient, but he expected her to talk, and honestly, she should talk to him. She owed him an explanation for the breakdown. After all, they were friends, and he’d opened up to her. But what if she lost it again? What if she couldn’t calm herself back down? She’d just started her job with Baxter a few weeks ago, and he barely tolerated her. He certainly wouldn’t accept a temporary leave while she retaught herself how to cope.

He set down his plate and leaned toward her. “Look, I don’t know what happened, but you look afraid. In fact, you always look a little afraid. Like you’re waiting for someone to jump out, but that’s not going to happen here. I can promise you that. You’re completely safe.”

“Completely safe? As in, no bears or as in don’t worry about potential thieves because I’m packing?” she joked, but then she caught the expression on his face. “Oh, you are.”

“Always.”

“You always carry a gun?”

Charlie grabbed his beer and leaned back in his chair. “Not always. I carry if I’m going to be somewhere that might warrant it. These mountains are safe, but there have been a few encounters over the years. Nothing too serious, but enough that, yeah, if I’m camping up here, I’m carrying. Especially when you agreed to come with me. Lucas wasn’t screwing around when he asked me to look out for you, and I take the job seriously. So you’re safe. I can promise you that.”

She nodded and tilted her head up to look at the stars, the full moon, and then slowly released a breath. “I have this friend in Charlotte who met her husband online, and they’re one of those couples that are just . . . meant to be, you know? They act alike and think alike, one wrong cut at the salon, and you’d confuse which is which from behind. And you know how when some people are happy, they think it’s their responsibility to make everyone around them happy, too?”

“You just described half of Crestler’s Key,” Charlie said.

“Exactly. Well, my friend is one of those people, so I couldn’t argue when she suggested I join the dating site that had brought her such joy. What was I supposed to say? So I created an account, assumed I’d ignore it, and eventually she would forget. But she didn’t forget. She asked me about it every day. I’d been on a few dates up there, but nothing serious, which was as much due to my focus on work as anything else, but my friends and family were getting worried. I guess a woman in her late twenties, not married and not in a serious relationship, is a freak of nature that requires an immediate fix. God forbid a woman focus on her career.”

Lila paused to take a drink of her beer, needing the alcohol to work through her and relax her enough to be able to tell the story.

“So, I signed up on the site, and really thought nothing of it, until I started getting a few messages. I’d look at their profiles, but otherwise I really just kept going, not actively engaging, until one caught my eye. His name was Wyatt Vane.”

Charlie’s eyebrows shot up. “Vane? As in . . .”

“Yeah, the superstore. He’s a senior vice president, rich and handsome. He was nice and charming. We talked several times, and then finally I got up the courage to meet him, and we clicked. He knew exactly what to say, and I was impressed with how laid-back he was in light of his wealth. We went on several dates and then—”

She took another long pull of her beer, and then fighting back the panic climbing from her stomach, decided to down the entire thing.

“And then what?” Charlie’s tone had hardened, the muscles in his arms flexed from gripping the arms of his chair.

Swallowing hard, Lila focused on the stars above, on counting them until her heart slowed. “Until one night changed everything, changed me. We went out to dinner, like before. I remember eating, having a glass of wine, getting back in his car, and then the next thing I remember, I—I—”

Charlie reached over and took her hand. “I’m here. Stop if you need to.”

She shook her head, fighting back the tears that burned her eyes, but there was no fighting them. “I woke up on a cold floor, like concrete, my feet and hands tied up, tape over my mouth. I was blindfolded, so I couldn’t see where I was, only hear and feel. My head was clouded, like the way you feel when you wake up from a dream you thought was real. Only it wasn’t a dream, it was my worst nightmare.”

Charlie jerked out of his chair, standing before her, anger taking over, but he didn’t say anything yet. He wanted her to continue.

“I’m not sure how long I was in that room, or whatever it was, but he would come down to see me, t-t-touch me.” Charlie cursed under his breath. “It was a game to him, I think. Watch and see how afraid I’d get. He got off on it. There was a point when I thought I was gone, that he was going to kill me. But then I passed out again, and the next time I woke up, I was in my apartment. Alone. I called 911, and an ambulance picked me up. There were bruises on me and cuts from the ties around my feet and hands. The cops came to question me, and I told them everything I knew. Even though I never saw my attacker, I knew it was Wyatt. That was the one thing out of all of it that I knew for certain. A lot of the rest was a mystery. How I had gotten there, details about the place, why he put me back in my apartment. He hadn’t raped me, so there was nothing, you know, there for them to use to identify him, but the cops felt my recounting of what had happened was enough to bring him in.”

Charlie started pacing then, his arms crossed, his head shaking, yet still he kept quiet.

Taking a breath, Lila pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “But see, this is where I learned first-hand the corruption of the legal system. Being a Vane, he has people everywhere and could afford the best defense attorney on the planet. We went to trial, but there was not enough evidence to convict him. He’d been careful not leaving a sign anywhere, making sure he had witnesses who could attest to where he was and when. He’d covered his tracks perfectly, even going as far as to have character witnesses who claimed Wyatt couldn’t possibly have done this. They turned it on me, claiming I just wanted his money. But all I wanted was for him to be locked away where he couldn’t hurt anyone else.”

Charlie slammed to a halt and stared down at her with fire in his eyes. “Wait a second. He’s not in prison?”

Lila shook her head slowly, her bottom lip trembling. “He got off, free and clear.”

And that did it. Charlie kicked the grill, his anger taking over. “He kidnaps you and gets away with it? All because he’s rich? Bullshit. We have to do something, appeal.”

“It’s not up to me. The DA’s office has to decide to appeal, and there just isn’t enough evidence. Either he was ridiculously careful or the police are covering for him. I tried to continue my life in Charlotte. I loved my friends there, and my job, but therapy wasn’t helping. So Lucas asked that I move back to Crestler’s Key. He wanted me to buy a gun and get my carry permit, like you, but I’m not as comfortable around them. And then he got deployed.”

“So he asked me to look after you.”

“Yes.”

* * *

“I had no idea,” Charlie said helplessly. And he did feel helpless. Angry, and helpless.

“I know,” she said, wiping away another tear.

Charlie felt like he was having a heart attack, the anger and need to punch something so real, he was amazed he hadn’t taken out his frustration on a nearby tree. But that wouldn’t help Lila. Right now, she needed to remember that something happened to her. Something horrific. But it didn’t define her. She was strong.

“Listen to me,” he said, walking near. “You survived this.”

“I survived because he wanted me to. That much is clear. He put me in my apartment. Put me there. He could have just as easily killed me. He wanted me to live so he could show me how easy it was for him to come into my world, take me, and put me back, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.”

Charlie squatted down in front of her, needing her to see and hear him clearly. “You’re giving him too much credit and yourself too little. You are strong. Too strong to let this break you. You’re back here, working, going out with friends. He didn’t take anything from you. He failed. You going on with your life proves that. You didn’t give up, and that was what he was hoping you would do. He did this to break you. But don’t you see? He failed.”

When her watery gaze hit his, Charlie thought he might break down with her. He’d never been so overwhelmed with sadness and rage in his life. Not even when Jade left. This, this was so much greater. No wonder Lila didn’t want to tell him. No wonder Lucas pushed for her to move here and for Charlie to protect her while he was on deployment.

“I’m sorry I made you tell me this, but I’m glad I know. Now, I can make sure someone’s with you at all times. In fact”—he started pacing again—“maybe I should put a tracker on you or something?”

Lila’s mouth curved up a bit. “You’re not putting a tracker on me.”

Charlie wanted to say that they had to do something, the psycho could try this again, but he didn’t want to scare her. “What does Lucas think?”

She looked at him. “It’s Lucas. What do you think he said?”

“Right.”

“Look, I know this is a lot to take. But it happened six months ago. I’m in a much better place now, and nothing has happened since. Well, nothing big.”

Charlie took a step back so he could see her better. “What do you mean ‘nothing big’?”

She glanced away. “Just a few random emails, messages on Facebook, a Charlotte paper delivered to my apartment today that I didn’t order. That kind of thing. None of them were from him or anything, but they were weird. Probably just weirdos messing around.”

“But maybe not. You should have told me.”

“So you could what?”

He didn’t freaking know, but something had to be done. “Look, he might own the cops in Charlotte, but you know as well as I do that in Crestler’s Key we look out for our own. They won’t put up with this shit here, even if he is rich and has a fancy lawyer. Regardless, you’re staying with me until we can be sure you’re safe.” Lila opened her mouth to argue, but he waved her off. “Nah, ah, Tiny Girl, you are with me every waking moment until we get this under control.”

“Charlie. It’s fine, really. This happened a long time ago. And I have to work. I can’t stay attached to your hip.”

Charlie wracked his brain for what to do, because she was right—she had to work, to live. He couldn’t imprison her at his place and watch her every moment of every day. “Fine. You can work and then I’ll pick you up. Take you there, too.” He paced again, trying to work through it all. “I still think the tracker thing is a good idea. I know a guy who—”

She stood up then and walked toward him, then she wrapped her arms around his neck, comforting him, and he nearly lost it right there.

“I’m fine.”

He gently stroked her hair. “I know you are. But no one should have to go through life afraid. Let me take away the fear. Let me help you.”

“You already have.”

Charlie’s gaze met hers, before dropping to her lips. She was so close and his emotions were out of control, his care for her taking over all logical thought. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Because I’m your friend or because . . . ?”

“Because one lazy day out on a hammock, I handed you my heart, and I don’t think I ever got it back.” And with those words went the last of his control, his need to have her close to him greater than his need to appease his friend.

His mouth came down on hers, and suddenly, he no longer cared about anything, not Lucas, not himself, only this moment. A surge of emotions hit him all at once—confusion and happiness, guilt and relief, each more conflicted than the last, but one thing was 100 percent clear—she was kissing him back. And that single thing meant there was no turning back. If she wanted him, he was there.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, securing her to him, as he deepened the kiss, ten years’ worth of pent-up emotions and desires pouring out of him, all the things he wanted to say and couldn’t, all the times he wanted to tell her and turned away instead. But now she was here, and Lucas wasn’t, and she needed him to be more than a friend. She needed him to show her in a way that only going past friendship could show that she was safe and cared for, that his very existence was focused on looking out for her, to step in front of her and shield her from danger. Lucas might be a world away, but Charlie was here, and he refused to let her go.

She pressed her body against his, clearly eager for more, and the kiss deepened. His tongue slid over her mouth, begging her to let him inside. She opened, allowing him in, and he went to work, teasing and sampling, absorbed in her taste and feel. And when she gripped his back and moaned lightly into his mouth, he lost his mind.

The fire had died out now, darkness finding them, the lanterns providing the only light. Everything about the moment intense and romantic. He scooped her into his arms and started for the tent, his wants trumping any doubts, and laid her down on his sleeping bag, then stared down at her, so damn beautiful it hurt.

“I want you. I want you so badly right now, I’m losing my mind here. But . . .”

“But . . .” she repeated, and he could see the hurt flash across her face.

“No, not that kind of but.” Her gaze lifted, and he pressed on. “You just detailed the most horrible thing that’s ever happened to you. The kind of thing that should never happen to anyone. Our emotions are high right now, and I don’t want you making a mistake.”

“I’m not.”

A smile played at his lips. “All right, then. I don’t want to make a mistake.”

“This would be a mistake?”

“No. Never.” He ran his hands through his hair and released a slow breath. “I’m trying to do the right thing here, and I gotta tell you, you’re not making it easy to be good.”

“Should I make it harder?”

He choked on a laugh. “Damn, where was this woman ten years ago? I’d have ditched Lucas in a heartbeat.”

She smiled. “You wouldn’t have, though.”

“No . . . I wouldn’t have.” He stared down at her again, wishing this was easier. Wishing Lucas understood that, with Lila, it wasn’t about attraction or quick sex. It was so much more. Maybe he could explain to him, help him see that he had real feelings for her. “I need to talk to him first.”

“I can’t have you asking my brother for permission to be with me.”

Charlie laughed again. “Who do you think I am? I’m not asking anybody for permission for anything. This is about us. I just want to handle it the right way. And the right thing to do is to tell him before we take it further. Let him react, and then you can make sure this is what you want. Because if it is, if I’m who you want to be with, then I am there. Yours.”

“You’re mine,” she said in a small voice, like she was processing the words.

“I’ve been yours for a very long time.”

He crawled beside her. “And if it’s okay, I’d like to sleep here, beside you. So long as you can promise to be a good girl. Not sure I can resist you twice.”

She grinned. “Okay.”

They snuggled up together, and without bothering to change, they fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. And for the first time in a long time, Charlie thought that future he’d envisioned all those years ago, Lila forever by his side, might finally become a reality.