There was a plan.

I knew the plan.

But knowing the plan and executing the plan were two totally different things. I had Ariel on FaceTime as I looked into the little cage of her little mouse friend. “Ariel, I’m not sure about this. I mean, a lot of things could go wrong. First of all, I’m letting a mouse into my apartment. Second of all, I’m relying on the kindness of a virtual stranger. Third, I’m not sure about letting a mouse loose in my apartment.”

Ariel laughed. “Turn the phone so I can see him and say hi.”

I stared at her. “Stop being insane. I need your help and you’re mocking me.”

“Oh relax. It’s just a mouse. Besides, that little cage you have there is state of the art. And that little guy there has been trained. All you have to do is let him out. Let him run around the apartment. When Sebastian is gone, bring out the cage again, press the little button on the side, and he’ll hear the sound and come galloping for the peanut butter right into his cage. It’s foolproof.”

“See, first of all, I thought mice liked cheese.”

“It’s a common misconception. They love peanut butter.”

I glanced down at Ariel’s furry friend. “And what if Sebastian happens to catch him? What if he kills him?” He was kind of cute with his little whiskers and his little pink nose. Not that I wanted to touch him mind you, but he was kind of cute.

“Sebastian isn’t going to catch him. These little guys are fast. He’s going to call an exterminator. And that will be that. Just make sure you cause enough of a ruckus that he’ll take you out of the apartment. Then I’ll come back and collect your little friend before an exterminator can come over and set little mouse traps. Easy peasy.”

“Seems like an awful lot of work just to catch and keep the prince’s eye.”

“Yes, of course. But worthwhile work because as macho or hot as he may seem, most people don’t like rodents. Still, he’ll feel inclined to take care of you being the chivalrous prince that he was raised to be, which gets you that much closer. And of course, then he’ll remember you naked. So that helps.”

“Diabolical.”

“You better believe it. Now, get to screaming.”

I hung up with Ariel and stared at the little mouse. “Okay, you and me, let’s make a deal. You don’t die today, and you don’t force me to kill you today, okay?”

The little guy just wiggled his nose at me.

“I see you’re mocking me too, aren’t you? Fair enough, but if Sebastian catches you, that’s not on me. That’s on you.”

For starters, I opened the French door to the balcony, knowing full well he kept his doors open. It hadn’t gotten too cold yet; Indian summer was just crawling in. So it made perfect sense that we both had our doors open. The next step was releasing my furry friend. I deliberately released him deep inside the apartment away from the doors. I didn’t want him escaping and actually crawling into someone else’s apartment to terrorize them. Besides, if he was trained, met another mouse and reproduced, we’d have a whole epidemic of brilliant mice running around New York City, like the Rats of NIMH. Seriously, the rats were enough. I climbed up on the couch after tucking Mickey’s cage in the closet, and I screamed.

“Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!” Then I waited. Nothing happened. I knew for a fact that I didn’t have a neighbor on the other side of me. And honestly, I didn’t wanna screech. Maybe that’s what it took to get Sebastian to come over. We knew from the bugs we’d planted that he was inside the apartment. So I just needed to be compelling enough. I swallowed my dignity and screamed at the top of my lungs.

That did it. It didn’t take much before Sebastian was running over the joint balcony and in through my French doors.

“Len? What’s wrong? I heard you screaming.”

Showtime. I had better win an Academy Award for this. “Oh my God! Oh my God! He’s over there. He’s over there. He’s over there.” I hoped Mickey would play his part. Otherwise, it would make me look insane.

Sebastian whirled around. “Who? What? What are you talking about?”

“It’s a mouse. It’s a mouse. Over there. I saw him crawling. Oh my God! Please! Please! Please.”

Sebastian groaned. “Fuck. This building was just fumigated. How did the little fucker get in here?”

* * *

Shit. She was really freaked out. Here’s the thing: I hate mice. I’d insisted on living like a normal person when I first moved to New York for uni. The flat I’d gotten was practically infested. I couldn’t stand the little creatures. It didn’t matter that they looked real cute. They were disgusting. But I knew I had to man up in front of this girl, my neighbor.

She’s not a girl. Well, she’s a girl, but we’re not looking at her like that. Whatever.

“Okay, look, you stay there. Where was the last place you saw him?”

She squeaked again and pointed in the general vicinity of the kitchen.

“Okay, do you have like a broom or something?”

Her eyes went wide. “You’re going to squash him?” She looked horrified.

“Maybe I can shoo him outside, but he can’t stay here. Unless you want him to stay here.”

She shook her head immediately. “No. I just don’t want squashed mouse guts in my kitchen.”

“I’m not gonna squash him in the kitchen. I’m just gonna try and shoo him out of the apartment.” At least, that was the plan. Honestly, I didn’t know how to get rid of a mouse. The last time I encountered the little furry fuckers, I moved. Yes. I wasn’t afraid to admit it: I moved. Because at the end of the day, it was a fucking mouse. And I could afford to. But this girl couldn’t afford to. Plus, I also allowed no mice in this building. I was real clear that I would pay whatever it took to fumigate the place regularly. There couldn’t be any mice in here. Maybe she was overreacting when she saw a shadow. Fuck, I really hoped she only saw a shadow.

I grabbed the broom from the kitchen and started toward the dining area where she’d set up most of her easels. I searched in the corners. Luckily, she was neat despite the paint being everywhere. All her boxes were put away now. The only hint of a mess were her easels and her paint supplies. “Okay, you saw him over here, right?”

“Yeah, I swear it. I heard a little squeak.”

“Well, I don’t see him now. Any chance he moved anywhere else in the apartment?”

“I don’t know. I sort of ran and shouted. Then I jumped on the couch, and you showed up. So truthfully, if I’m being completely honest, I had my eyes closed. I have no idea where he is now.”

Well, well. “All right. We’ll get some traps, okay?”

She grimaced. “Oh my God. Not like those spring-loaded mousetraps that, like, break the neck. He’s so little.”

“I don’t know what else to tell you. It’s a mouse. It can’t live here. It’s not a pet, so you’re gonna have to get rid of it somehow. I guess we can call an exterminator too.”

“Yes, I like that one, an exterminator.”

I had to chuckle. “Somehow that seems more humane to you? He’s gonna gas the little fucker out.”

Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have said that because her face fell. “No. I just—I just wanna catch him and you know, release him in the woods or something.”

“Are there any woods around here?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Something, anything … I don’t wanna have this little mouse’s guts on my conscience.”

I thought it through. “Okay, I guess, there are those like box traps or whatever. You put food or whatnot in it, and they crawl right in. It’s not like those blue ones where they legit will gnaw off a limb just to get free. And it’s also not like the spring-loaded traps where they break their neck or whatever. This one is humane. They go in through the locks, and then you can throw the box out, or call animal control and they take it away, or whatever.” I was totally bullshitting about animal control. I didn’t know what they did with those traps. I assumed they just threw it in the trash. But I supposed I’d have to figure it out for her. One neighbor … one giant pain in the ass. But she was one giant, great-smelling pain in the ass.

Shit. I couldn’t think about how good she smelled, or that creepy thing I did to her that one time. Yeah, let’s not think about that. “Look, it’ll be fine. I’ll just—”

I heard the squeak behind me. Instead of turning around and bashing it with a broom, I may have yelled. Okay, I did yell. And I also jumped up on the couch with her. Before I knew what was happening, Len jumped up, wrapped her arms around my neck and straddled my hips as she tried to get even higher up off the ground.

Thought one: Jesus, she’s soft. Thought two: God! That was so not manly. Thought three: I fucking hate mice. Thought four: That mouse isn’t so bad because now Len is wrapped around me and I think I like it.

Thought five: Shit, you are not allowed to like this.

Sometimes, I hated my thought process. “Okay, okay. Settle down.”

“Settle down? You’re the one who jumped up here. I told you, it’s an attacking mouse determined to kill me.”

“He’s little. He’s not trying to kill you.”

“Oh yeah? Then what are you doing on the couch?”

She had me there. “I—look, you looked comfortable up here. Fuck, okay. He startled me.”

“You see? Now we’re both going to die on this couch.”

Whew! What a way to go. She barely weighed anything. She was all soft, female curves and coconut and lime-scented something that drove me insane. She smelled so good. You will not sniff her again. You will not sniff her again.

And I wasn’t going to. But then—and it wasn’t my fault—she wrapped herself tighter around me and nuzzled into my neck. And well, I couldn’t help it. She was so close. Sniffing was inevitable. I did try to hold my breath. I did … for a second. And then I inhaled deeply. Every muscle in my body simultaneously relaxed and then spasmed as the electric charges hit them. And my dick, well, he made his presence known. Not that Len seemed to notice, because she was still clutching on to me for dear life.

I dragged in deep breaths, trying to think about anything other than the woman wrapped around me like a coiled snake. But oh no, every single thought was filled with Len. Len naked. Len bent over shaking her ass, wriggling at me as if in invitation. I’d already struck out with this girl, much to my chagrin. I didn’t need to make it worse.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t seem to make myself let her go. Her legs were wrapped around me. Her arms wound behind my neck. She was nuzzling deep inside my arms. I needed to hold her up, didn’t I?

It wasn’t my fault that my hands were on her ass. Really, it was her thighs. Let’s be honest, though. I had to will my hand not to move because testing the firmness of her ass would have been full-on douche city. She was scared, and I wasn’t going to take advantage.

“Um, well, I will call the building manager and get you a couple of those traps.”

She pulled back slowly, her gaze meeting mine. Her eyes were dark pools of melted chocolate. And I could stare into them all day. She blinked rapidly and nodded. “Thank you.” Then she seemed to notice that she was wrapped around me. A slight flush lit her cheeks, and then her thighs loosened their grip around my waist and she slid down. Her arms went last. And then we were standing on her couch, facing each other. Neither one of us acknowledged that my hands had just been on her ass. Because really, was there any need to acknowledge that?

She blinked up at me. “Thank you Sebastian, you know, for the rescue. Even though you ended up needing to be rescued yourself.”

“Will you please tell no one? My reputation can’t handle it.”

She grinned. “If you get me some traps that don’t involve me having to watch poor Mickey die, your secret is safe with me.”