She’d been quiet today. I didn’t know what had prompted me to ask Len to come over for a photography lesson, but when I found her on her balcony yesterday, she looked sad. Distraught.

Something was bugging her, and I couldn’t help trying to fix it.

I knew better than to develop feelings for this girl. I knew better. Once the press got a hold of this—whatever it was—it would be over. “Pussy got your tongue?”

She started coughing on the gulp of water she’d taken from her water bottle. “Oh my God, did you really say that to me?”

I grinned. At least she was acting more like herself now. “What? Pussy means cat.”

She rolled her eyes. “More like pussies got your tongue.”

Oh God, I really wished she hadn’t said that, because now I kept picturing what my tongue might do to her.

Get a grip man.

“That’s not even a fair assessment. You’ve never even seen me around many girls. I live a quiet life. I work, I take pictures, and that’s about it.”

She slid me a sidelong glance as if she knew better than that, as if she had knowledge of what I’d been like before. “Something tells me that this quiet existence of yours is relatively new. Besides, I saw you at the club with Lucas. I got the impression that women hang all over you a lot. I also got the impression that you were used to that.”

She wasn’t wrong. “Yeah, okay. So maybe the assessment is a little accurate, but I haven’t really been like that for a while. You know, I just have a different focus.”

She turned to me as we set up the lighting. “Why is that? Why did you stop … playing the field, so to speak?”

“About six months or so ago, I had some major family drama. I think I told you about it. Basically, my family didn’t really understand me and they were trying to control me. I wasn’t really down for letting that happen. I was pissed off for a while, but part of me understood where they were coming from, you know? I hadn’t really given them an opportunity to see something different about me.” He shrugged. “I hadn’t really given myself the opportunity either, and I had other things to focus on. So I kinda focused on work and stepped back from the women.”

“Wow. I didn’t even think guys as good looking as you bothered to do the introspection thing.”

I put a hand over my heart. “Ouch.” I could see the light dancing in her eyes. That was how I knew she was kidding. Or maybe I just hoped she was kidding. “You wound me right here.”

“But hey, I said you were good-looking.”

I flashed her a grin. “I do have a mirror.”

“So humble.” Then she was laughing.

God I loved that sound. That shit is making you crazy. I needed to change the subject.

“So how are things going with your boyfriend anyway?”

Her brow furrowed. “Um, actually, we broke up.”

Those simple words hammered against the confines of my chest.

They’d broken up. Why? How? When? The when was extremely important. “Oh, you didn’t say anything.”

She shrugged. “It’s new. I’m not really sure how I feel about the whole thing.”

“You didn’t want to break up?”

“Oh, I did, especially after I caught him cheating. But I guess in my head I kept thinking that he was really the only guy in the world who would want to go out with Calamity Jane here.”

“Well, I find you endearing.”

“Yeah, but can you believe it? I broke up with him, and he said no.”

I frowned. “What did he mean no?”

“I don’t know, honestly. I told him we needed to stop seeing each other, and he was all, ‘No.’” She shrugged. “I was really clear and firm that I didn’t just need time away from him. I didn’t just need to figure myself out, but rather I just didn’t want to see him anymore. A large part is the fact he cheated, and then he gave me some bullshit excuse for that. I can’t believe I’ve wasted so much time with him.”

“How long were you together?” I prayed for her to say weeks—months even. It was easier to get over shorter term relationships.

“Just a little over a year. And even through that whole year, I knew he wasn’t the right guy. But I kept going out with him anyway because he looked good on paper. Honestly, the whole thing was my fault.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

She changed the subject quickly. “Okay, photography instructor, show me all the things. I want to learn about studio lighting and studio shots.”

“Well, the best thing about a studio shot is they can be honest. There’s not a lot of extra stuff going on. There’s no interference. You control the environment.”

“Control the environment. I like the sound of that.

“Okay, so the first lesson is don’t be afraid of the camera.” Sebastian handed me the beautiful Hasselblad camera. He was right. I was afraid of it. “It’s a really nice camera.” I had no idea how much it cost, but it looked expensive.

He shrugged. “Yeah, it is. But it’s a tool. So as long as you’re careful and don’t juggle it, we’ll be okay.”

I sucked in a deep breath. “Okay, handle the camera with care.”

He gave me a wide grin that was just a hint on the side of dirty. “You know, like a guy’s balls. You don’t squeeze too hard. Be gentle. Nice even.”

My mouth unhinged and I stared at him.

His laugh was booming and echoed off the walls. “You should see your face.”

“Are you always this outrageous?”

“Sometimes. I know it makes you crazy, so that helps. Well, come on over here. I’ll be your subject. All you have to do is shoot me.”

He moved over some blank canvas background that was pulled down. It was stark white. He pulled a stool over and planted himself in the middle of it. Then I realized with startling fear, I had no idea what to do. If he was a model and I had my paints, I would capture the shadow, the light … I would know exactly what to do. This was not my medium. I flushed. “Um, I don’t really know what to do right now.”

“That little button over there, click it and point the camera in my general direction. Easy. Then, you look at the photo you’ve taken. Make your adjustments for focus, light, and the subject.” He winked.

I could do this. I was just going to shoot the crown prince. Simple. It’s not hard at all. I snapped a shot. I looked down. No. That was fuzzy. I adjusted the camera, and focused it tighter on his face. I clicked again. Much better. Then I moved a little, adjusting the light, kind of like I would move my easel to cater to what I needed. I started to get the hang of it the more photos I took. He was a good subject and teacher all at once.

“Just like with your models, you want to make yourself comfortable. Relax. People tend to get real tense when they know they are being photographed. Even though they think they’re relaxed, there’s always something that gives them away, something that takes away from it being candid. That is why a lot of photographers use music or tell models to bring a friend who will talk to them, make them laugh, so you can capture real moments of who they are.”

“Okay, so why don’t you talk to me so you’ll be more relaxed?”

“I am relaxed.”

I laughed. “Are you sure about that?”

“You got any ideas on how to relax me?” His voice was low, warm … suggestive.

Holy shit. “I, uh, I don’t know. With you, there seems to be a part of you that’s always holding back I guess?”

That made it worse. He stiffened. “No. What you see is what you get.”

I giggled and clicked again. Then I turned the display over so he could see it. “You tell me. Do you look relaxed?”

He chuckled. “Okay, I guess not. Let me turn on some music.” He turned on the speaker and a woman sang, “I am an endangered species.” The sound clearly had African elements, and blues, and a little bit of a rock ‘n roll feel. It was awesome. It made me certainly feel a lot looser. As she sang about not singing a victim’s song, I snapped photos of Sebastian who danced a little on the stool. He gave me genuine smiles and flirty winks.

This is not real. I tried to tell myself all the things that would remind me not to fall for him, but they weren’t working. The more he talked to me, the more he pulled me in. He talked mostly about photography, capturing just the right shot, how it felt, and his excitement about his opening. It was easy. So easy.

“I’ve been talking for a while now. Aren’t you supposed to tell me about yourself?”

I shook my head. “No, I am not the subject. You are the subject.”

He laughed. “Fair enough. Isn’t this the part where you, as the photographer, are supposed to tell me to make love to the camera?”

I coughed a little as I imagined saying the words ‘make love’ anywhere near Sebastian. Yeah, that wasn’t a good idea because then I would just go ahead and remember the other night. My hand slipping into my panties, touching myself, thinking about him, pretending my fingers were his. A flush crept up my neck. Not okay. “You wish.”

He shrugged. “Fair enough. Then I’m going to make you talk. Why don’t you tell me about your boyfriend?”

I lowered the camera for an instant. “What do you want to know?”

“It shouldn’t be this hard for you to talk about your boyfriend. I mean, you had to have met him somewhere. I’m sure there’s some sappy girl reason as to why you fell for him?”

“Nope. All I can think about is how he cheated on me with someone close to me. I walked in on it.” At least that much was the truth.

His brow creased. “Wait, this was recent?”

I nodded. “It happened before I moved, really. I thought distance and all that would help … give me some clarity. All it did was make me realize that I shouldn’t be holding on to someone who treats me like shit.”

He nodded. “Amen. I’m sorry he hurt you. And I’m sorry this friend of yours hurt you too. That’s fucked up.”

“Yeah, it is fucked up. I’m still pretty angry about it. It’s not even really about the guy because, at the end of the day, I think deep down I knew he wasn’t right for me.”

“How did you know that?”

Somehow this conversation felt too intimate. It was the closest to who I really was that I’d shown him. It was hard to be that raw. “I don’t know. It was easy, I guess. He knew my family. I knew his family. It felt like on paper, we were supposed to be together, right?”

He nodded. “I could see that.”

“Except I don’t even think he really ever liked me. He would never actually put me down or anything. It was more that I always felt like maybe I was a consolation prize or he liked me despite who I was. It’s intangible. I can’t really put my finger on it. But he never put me first. And I think that maybe I liked his family a lot more than I liked him.”

He shook his head. “You should be with someone who wants to put you on a pedestal.”

I snapped another shot. He was natural now. Loose. Relaxed. He watched me intensely, eyes slightly narrowing, as if waiting, watching to see my response and how I was reacting to this conversation.

“He must have had one hell of a family.”

“He does. They’re lovely. But I can’t date someone’s family. I can’t stay with someone for that.”

“No, you sure can’t. So what now? Am I going to find you on Tinder or something?”

A giggle escaped. “Um, I think I’m going to leave the guys alone for a while. After this last time, perhaps I’m a little gun-shy.”

“You shouldn’t let that asshole stop you from living your life. Not all guys are assholes. Not all guys lie to you.”

“Yeah. This is the part where I should say ‘I know,’ but I don’t actually believe you.”

His lips tipped into a smirk. “That’s okay. You’ll believe me one day.”

His voice dropped an octave. It was low, rumbly, and made me want to cuddle up to his side. But I didn’t do that. Instead, I snapped another shot. He checked my every movement across the section of his apartment that we’d set up for the studio shoot.

The tension swirled around us as if trying to concentrate. Somehow this felt intimate. I felt vulnerable. Naked. “You’re watching me. It’s making me nervous.”

“You shouldn’t be. I’m sure you’re doing a great job.” The music changed again to some upbeat song by the latest pop princess, but it was low … sexual in a way.

“You make a really good model. I’m sure dozens of artists have volunteered to paint you before.”

He shook his head. “Not that I can recall. Why, are you offering?”

I grinned. “I usually do nudes.” Why did I say that? It wasn’t true. Because you’re hoping he’ll volunteer as tribute.

He shrugged then reached behind his back and pulled his shirt up, tugged it free, and tossed it aside. “How is this for nude?”

Fuck. Me. I stared for a moment, mouth open and looking like an idiot. Then, well, I snapped a picture. Okay fine, I snapped several. “Uh, that’s a start.”

He ran a hand through his hair and tousled it, so I snapped several of that. These were romance-cover gold. Getting into it, he started posing for me, making silly faces. I got closer to him, snapping more close-ups of his face. That incredible face.

Then suddenly he went deadly serious again, the intensity in his eyes going harder somehow, sharper. Like a razor. “You look nervous. I thought you said you were used to nudes.”

I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “Yeah, at school whenever we had a model, they were always nude. I got used to it.”

He narrowed his gaze. “Are you sure about that?”

Shit. He could tell. “Yeah, I am. It’s just a human form. Male. Female. No big deal.”

His lopsided grin flashed, and my stomach flipped. Stupid traitorous body … and damn him for being so damn good-looking. I tried to keep the lens centered on his face, but I had to get several of his abs, for you know … research.

But when his hand rubbed over his stomach and then slid to the button on his jeans, I gasped, “What are you doing?”

“Well, you said you were used to doing nudes. Will that make you more comfortable as a photographer?”

I swallowed again, unable to answer, wanting to know what he was doing. How far he would go. And how far would I go?

The button popped, and I swallowed the sawdust in my mouth. I snapped a picture of his hands.

Well yeah, and his abs. So sue me. He popped a button, giving me a hint of the forbidden thing I couldn’t have. I kept snapping away. We were locked in this odd, intimate game of chicken. I swung the lens up to capture his face. His gaze was slightly hooded. His lips parted … Turned on. I stepped back a step to capture all of him. His jeans loose, his feet bare. Sitting on the stool, leaning back slightly and giving me the sex face, because that’s what it was—God’s honest truth—the sex face. And I was a total goner.

“You’re not taking pictures, Len.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“Oh, sorry.” I snapped several in succession. Full body shots, face shots, torso shots. There were several torso shots. I wanted to fully capture what was happening.

He unbuttoned another button, taunting me, tantalizing me. Then he reached into his jeans, and my gaze snapped to meet his. I wanted to say something. Intervene in some way … help maybe … ask him what he was doing. But I couldn’t. We were locked in a game that I couldn’t break free from. Now I wanted more. I wanted to know just how far he would go.

Would he go nude? Or would he stay in this half-undressed state, teasing me, tempting me to do the thing that I shouldn’t do?

I snapped more photos, but this time I was close. I was looking down on him with the camera, angling so I could see his perfectly sculpted abs as they flexed. His hand was inside his jeans. From the bulge, I knew he was touching himself. And then I snapped my gaze up to his face.

Sebastian licked his lip, and I captured the moment that tongue met flesh.

Heat flooded my body, and I pressed my thighs together to abate the ache. At that point, I was just snapping photos, completely in the zone, wanting to see what he might do next.

“Len … ”

“Sebastian.” My voice was so breathy I could barely get it past my lips.

“Do you want to come closer?”

“I—I think maybe I’m close enough?”

His teeth grazed his bottom lip. “Are you sure about that? I have another question for you.”

I snapped several more images, ranging from face shots to shoulders, to torso. Yeah, I also went back to the hand-around-his-dick thing because … Wow. “Yeah? Go ahead.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about your boyfriend ‘til now?”

Oh shit. “I—I’m not sure. I didn’t think it mattered. It sort of feels like we’re supposed to be friends.” Lies, all lies.

He stood, his big body crowding me. “Yeah, friends … ”

I swallowed hard. I couldn’t bloody think with him so close. His scent assaulted me, sandalwood and something that was pure Sebastian wrapped around me, making me weak. Making me tingle as I inhaled his scent. Heat throbbed between my thighs, even as my knees went weak. “Sebastian, wh—what are you doing?”

“Proving to you that we’re not friends. Will you let me?”

He was asking my permission. I knew what I wanted to say. I understood what was at stake. But then he raised his hand and traced his knuckles over my cheek, and a whimper escaped.

His voice went softer, so low when he spoke that his words were more like a rumble than anything intelligible. “Is that you telling me to stop?”

Seriously, there were supposed to be words. There were. But somehow I couldn’t manage them, so like an idiot I shook my head.

His hand slid into my curls as he gently angled my head. When he leaned down, his lips a whisper from mine, he whispered, “This is all I’ve been thinking about.”

With a deep inhale, his lips crashed down to mine, and my world swam. His lips were soft but demanding. His tongue sure. His hands first gentle, then rough as he changed the angle. Our last kisses had been intense but not like this.

The first had been a surprise. The second had been an explosion. This one was a searing brand. One hand furled and unfurled in my hair. The other slid into the back pockets of my jeans, squeezing gently before aggressively tugging me close to his hard body.

Sebastian moaned low, then grunted before releasing my curls and picking me up. The next thing I knew I was on the side table and he was stepping between my legs.

The moment the hard, throbbing length of him pressed against my center, minuscule eruptions of pleasure exploded over my skin.

Holy hell.

His hands roamed, one tucking under my T-shirt, his fingers teasing my skin. The other, tucked into my jeans, grabbing my ass, kneading the flesh.

He wasn’t the only one who was getting handsy. I’d been so starved for physical contact for so long and hell, I really wanted to lick, er, touch his abs.

My hands shook as my fingers played over his abs. When he hissed, I pulled back quickly. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t stop. I need you to fucking touch me so bad. It feels too good.”

I blinked up at him. “You like it?” Tentatively, I trailed my fingertips my hands back over his golden skin.

He held perfectly still, groaning low as I let myself play. The man was seriously carved out of stone. With every pass of my fingertips, his muscles jumped. “Fuck yes. Can’t you tell?”

I could feel the pulse of his dick insistently pressing against me. I closed my eyes and I could literally feel his heartbeat through the length of him. I rotated my hips trying to get closer to him to feel the delicious press of his dick against me.

“Fuck, Len—” He growled low, before crashing his lips back to mine. His tongue stroked over mine over and over again. I stroked back, desperate to have more of him. Desperate to have any part of him that I could. Desperate to have the part of him I had no business wanting: his heart.

I kept rocking my hips into him. It felt so good. So right. So wrong. Heat pulsed between my thighs, and tingles started in the base of my spine. I wanted him in a way I’d never wanted anyone before. His hands trailed sparks of electricity over my skin. His thumb traced under my breast and I shivered. Please, please, please. Higher. Just. A. Little. Bit. Higher.

He broke the kiss then lifted his gaze to meet mine. “After that, are you sure friends is the right word?”

Before I could tell him to shut up and kiss me, there was a sharp rapping at the door. It broke the spell. Sebastian cursed and removed his hand from my skin. “Just a second.”

I took that as my cue. I eased off the sideboard. “I’m going to go.”

“Len, no, don’t—” The sharp rap came again.

I headed for the balcony. “I’m gonna go this way.”

His gaze narrowed. “Are you running?”

I considered lying. “Yep. Sure am. Thank you for the lesson. I’ll catch you for our next session.”

I skipped onto the balcony, fully aware that I’d narrowly missed making a grievous error. I’d have my shit together by the next time I saw him. I’d lock down all the vajayjay feels.

Sure you will.

* * *

Sebastian …

I wasn’t even sure if we were still going to be on. I didn’t think she’d show. It turned out she was braver than I thought.

I left the bar after finishing up the inventory and setting up for the next shift. Sure enough, there she was outside, leaning against the light post with her camera. “Hey.”

I stopped short. “Hey yourself.”

“Is it still a good day to do this?” She shifted slightly on her feet.

“Yeah. I pretty much always have my camera. I just didn’t know if you’d still want to.”

I wasn’t sure what her response was going to be after what had happened with us. That shit in my apartment … I could still feel the imprint of her lips against mine. I could still fucking taste her. It had been two days with no goddamn sleep, thanks to her. I hadn’t really seen her much. I’d kind of been avoiding her. The push and pull dynamic between us was driving me fucking insane. I needed her. I wanted her more than I should. It terrified me. And here she was, acting normal.

“Not sure why I wouldn’t. We had a date, right?”

The D word hung between us, and she started walking in the wrong direction. Then, classic Len, she started talking a mile a minute. About her day in the studio, what she’d painted, pretty much anything but that kiss. The one where I’d slid my hand up her ribs, the one where I’d traced a thumb over her nipple and made her moan my name. Yeah, apparently she wasn’t talking about it, which was fine by me in a way but also annoying. But if she could be cool, then so could I. It was fine.

“Right. Yeah, let’s head down to Battery Park. The light is good. And it’s almost the golden hour. We’ll get some gorgeous sunset shots, if you want.”

She nodded. “That works.”

I stopped. It took her another thirty steps or so before she turned around. “What are you doing?”

I inclined my head in the other direction. “It’s that way.”

“Right.” She trotted up to meet me. “I knew that.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. She had a way of making everything fine. Normal. Easy. That’s because you like her. Or maybe it was because she made my body hum and feel good. I felt happy when I was with her, which was concerning because I couldn’t have her. But I wasn’t going to think about that today. No, today I was going to show her my Manhattan.

As we walked, we took pictures of West Village. Then we hopped a train down to Wall Street and took photos on the subway and of the buskers along the way. I was desperate to ask her about the kiss.

The itch was like this gnawing, persistent little tingle that I couldn’t quite get at. I wanted to just scratch it and get it out of the way to soothe the twitchiness, but I couldn’t. With every step we took and every subway car we sat in, she was right there, right next to me. I could smell her perfume and could practically touch her, but I think I knew better. It was safer if I didn’t touch her … Better for everyone. Who says?

Finally, as she was shooting a couple of kids climbing on the Wall Street Bull, I couldn’t help it anymore. “So are we gonna talk about it?”

She froze and then turned her head up and raised a hand over her brow to shield her eyes from the sun. “Talk about what?”

“So now we’re pretending it didn’t happen?”

“Well … ” She stood and turned to face me while shoving her hand inside her pocket. Her camera hung between her breasts and I tried not to let my gaze flicker down. “The thing is I ran out of there like my hair was on fire but you didn’t pursue me. So I guess we’re both a little emotionally unavailable. And well, to be honest, I just broke up with Robert, and it was one of those things that just happened. So I’m not gonna dwell on it, I guess.”

Fuck that answer. “So we’re going to pretend it didn’t happen.”

“I’m not sure what to do. I wish I knew. It all happened so fast. I don’t know. I just—” She looked down and shifted her feet again. “I like spending time with you, and I wanted another photography lesson. You know, one that was outside that didn’t involve any clothes being taken off. So here we are.”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah, that was … intense.”

“Yeah, I’ll say.”

I slid my gaze to her. “So what does that mean now?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t kiss my friends like that. I’ll just be really fucking clear. I want you. But there are a number of reasons why this is a really bad idea. So maybe we will just be friends.” It killed me to say that. I wanted her. I wanted her under me. I wanted her over me. I wanted to possess her. I wanted to share my secrets with her … But she wasn’t mine to keep.

She blinked up at me. “So, friend, what’s next on the agenda?”

“More pictures.”

* * *

Friends.

The word clanked around in my head the rest of the afternoon. Considering the way he’d kissed me, it didn’t feel like friendship. But, like I’d already told myself, I couldn’t have him. So we were going to be friends because I still needed to stick to him like glue. As we headed down toward our building, my stomach started to grumble. He laughed and turned to me.

“Let me guess, time to feed the beast?”

“I can’t help that I get hungry. Besides, it is dinner time.”

Still laughing, we took a right toward the Thai place near our apartments. “Okay, let’s feed the beast. Come on.” In my peripheral vision, a motorcycle passed on the left. Its blaring engine warning us not to cross the street yet.

“I’m not sure I want Thai. Maybe that Italian place down the street?”

He shrugged. “I’m easy. I’m not the one who has an active tapeworm.”

“I just have a healthy appetite, that’s all.”

“No, it’s impressive. I’m a fan.”

I heard the grumbling whine of a sport motorcycle and I frowned. That was the same sound as two minutes ago. I turned and looked around, and the same bike was heading down the street. Cars were parked along the way. Not a single spot was available. There were a few pedestrians coming but not many. I squinted my eyes, but I knew from just a glance that it was indeed the same bike. I always made it a habit of staying on Sebastian’s side toward the street no matter where we were walking.

The bike’s engine roared nearer to us. Then I heard the quick pop and a scatter of rocks pebbling, and time slowed. I don’t know what prompted it—instinct, fear, pure fight or flight, or if it was my training finally kicking in. Either way, I immediately turned and shoved Sebastian into the bags of garbage by the dumpster, deliberately tripping over my feet and landing on top of him. It wasn’t much for cover, but it would have to do in a pinch. More rocks scattered above us, and one of the steel railings holding the awning from the restaurant we were next to fell off of its mounting and clattered around us.

I didn’t look up until I heard the engine sound decrease. When I did, Sebastian stared at me. We’d narrowly avoided being hit by one of the metal poles holding up the awning and green fabric billowed over us.

I’d narrowly avoided getting him hurt. Hell, I’d narrowly avoided having him killed on my watch.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He rubbed his head. “What happened? It was like you tripped over your feet and sent us both flying.”

What the hell was I going to say? I couldn’t have these things that kept looking like accidents around him. “Oh my God, I’m really sorry. It’s just that motorcycle … it sort of looked like Robert’s, and I just didn’t want to see him right now. So I took the coward’s way out and hid.”

At first he stared at me, and I was pretty sure he wouldn’t believe that. Then he let his head fall back and a crack of laughter fell from his lips. “Oh my God, you must have the worst luck known to mankind. We narrowly avoided being killed by this stupid awning just because you were hiding from your boyfriend?”

I pushed myself to standing and then helped him up. Jesus, he was heavy. “It wasn’t my fault, okay? I just didn’t want to see him and then have to deal with the whole I-broke-up-with-him thing and that I was with you. I panicked.”

He laughed. “Are you sure you’re okay though? No bumps or scrapes?”

“I’m fine. Are you okay? You could have hit your head all because I panicked.”

He laughed. “It’s okay. I’ll just call it my adventure for the day. There’s never a dull moment around you, Len.”

I eyed the passage along the street. The restaurant owner came out screaming apologies and asking about our well-being. He thought it was an accident. I knew better. That motorcycle rider must have had a silencer. His first shot had gone wide, just over my shoulder, and hit the wall. While the owner talked to us, I took out my phone and held it casually. We talked to him and assured him that we were fine. I snapped as many wide-angle shots as I could, trying to get the exact location of the bullet holes.

I’d heard the crackling of the brick wall when the shots hit, and that’s when I’d known something was wrong. Sebastian could have been hit. My guard had been down, all because I was in happy la-la land with him.

I had to remember why I was here. I had to do my job.

I left Sebastian at his apartment and unlocked the door to mine, ready to call Ariel to debrief, but I found her on my couch looking concerned.

“What the hell happened?”

“I don’t know. All I know is that someone took shots at us. We were just down the street, Ariel.”

“The prince is fine?”

I nodded. “Yeah, he’s fine. I shoved him into a pile of garbage and nearly brought an awning down on top of us, but he’s okay.”

My bestie searched my gaze. “And you? Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, but shit Ariel, that was really close. I was distracted and not paying attention.”

Ariel dragged her hands over her face. “I knew I should have gone with you.”

“No, it’s better you didn’t. There wasn’t anything you could have done about it. Besides, it’s my fault. I was distracted and … I don’t know—enjoying the moment or something. God, I was so stupid. I saw him go by the first time, and something told me to pay attention but I just didn’t. I was—”

Ariel stood and grabbed my hands. “Relax. It’s fine. You’re doing what you’re supposed to do by getting close to him and trying to get him to come home. And you did save his life. So everything went right. You’re fine.”

I shook my head. “I’m not fine, Ariel. I’m getting too close to him. This whole time, I was busy daydreaming. I was thinking about having dinner with him, like a fool. I almost got him killed. Maybe Michael was right.”

Ariel just wrapped her tiny body around me and held me tight. “You’re just spinning out. It was traumatic, but you’re okay. He. Is. Okay. That is the important thing. And you saved him. Imagine if he’d just been coming home from the bar, and we were only tracking him. Imagine how horrible that would have been. You did your job.”

“What I did was get lucky.”

“This isn’t on you.” She pulled back and smoothed my hair. “You saved his life. That is what matters.” She licked her lips as she studied me. “You’re not too close to him. You’re doing your job.”

I didn’t care what she said. I knew the truth. I was getting too close to him. If I wasn’t more careful, I was going to get him killed.