Chapter Nine
Chief
I stretch to work out the kinks in my shoulders. The barbeque went off without a hitch, but we decided to play a game of flag football with the kids and I’m feeling it this morning. I hated getting up, but here I am sitting at my desk going through the mountain of paperwork that’s accumulated when my cell phone rings. Seeing it’s Claree, I quickly swipe across the screen. “Hello?” I ask.
“Mr. Chief?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart? Is everything okay?”
“It... it’s Miss Trinity. She’s curled up in bed crying, but she’s not awake.”
Dammit, she had mentioned her cramps were bad but tried to downplay it all, taking some over-the-counter medicine and using her heating pad last night. I should have known better. Now, how to alleviate the fears of the pre-teen on the other end of the phone. “Claree? Honey, she’s got...she’s got her period and is in pain.”
“I think it’s really bad, though. What can I do?”
Fuck. Looking at the clock, I know I can’t leave for at least another two hours, but it sounds like my woman needs help. “Let me call DJ and Cara, sweetheart, and get them over there to help, okay? I can’t leave work yet since pretty much everyone has the flu so I’m waiting on the next shift to show up.”
“O-okay. Tell them to please hurry. I’ll take care of Shelby.”
No, no she wouldn’t do that either. She had done that enough in her short life. Telling her I would make the call, I disconnected then quickly texted Cara to tell her that Trinity needed her and DJ. Getting a response back, I grin knowing that my woman will soon be in capable hands.
Claree
After I hang up the phone, I run back into my room and see that Shelby is still asleep. Closing the bedroom door, I then go into Miss Trinity’s room. She is still curled into a ball and even though she is asleep, she’s crying in pain. And she looks kind of pale but is sweating too. Hearing a noise, I turn and see DJ and Cara come into the bedroom. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” Cara asks.
“Mr. Chief said she has her period, but I don’t think this is normal, is it?” I ask.
“Trinity? Trin? Honey, you need to wake up,” DJ says, lightly shaking Miss Trinity’s shoulders.
With a moan, she rolls over and opens her eyes. “What...what are y’all doing here?” she asks. Her voice sounds funny and it scares me.
“Chief called, honey. Said that you needed help. Can you tell us what’s going on?” Cara replies as she looks down at her friend.
“Well, it started yesterday. I’m used to horrible cramps and all, but I can’t stand up this time at all and I feel like I want to throw up.”
Miss Cara touches her forehead and hisses before saying, “I think we need to take you to the emergency room, Trinity. You’re burning up.”
“But I’m cold.”
“C’mon, sweetie, this isn’t normal. Let’s get you checked out,” DJ says.
“I... I don’t think I can move,” Trinity admits, tears running down her face.
“Hatch!” DJ calls out. “Need you, lover!”
Mr. Hatch comes into the room followed by Mr. Braxton and I watch as he comes up to the bed. “What do you need, gorgeous?” he asks DJ.
“She needs to go to the emergency room but can’t walk. Need you to carry her.”
I hear Mr. Hatch say a bad word under his breath before he carefully picks Miss Trinity up, saying, “You be sure to tell your old man I didn’t touch anything of importance, y’hear?”
The other grown-ups all laugh, and even Miss Trinity smiles a little bit. I follow them out to the SUV in the yard where he puts her in the backseat. Mr. Hatch looks at DJ and Cara and says, “We’ll watch the girls, you go get her checked out.”
I stand there watching as they pull away, my heart beating faster than it did that day.
Trinity
The pain is unlike anything I have ever felt before and every jolt of the vehicle sends it shooting through my body. I silently pray, that it isn’t anything major, but realize that my prayers might be in vain. “Y’all didn’t have to do this,” I say.
“Uh, yeah we do,” DJ replies as she maneuvers through town and toward the hospital. “When did the pain ramp up?”
I think back and finally say, “Sometime after Turk left to go to work, I think. I took care of the girls then crawled back into bed for a few more hours of sleep. Wait, how did you know?”
“Claree called Chief,” Cara states. We pull up to the emergency room entrance and DJ hops out after putting the SUV into park. She runs inside and quickly comes back with a wheelchair and a nurse. They help me out of the back of the SUV and the nurse wheels me back inside, saying, “I’m taking her to triage. Y’all go park and meet us inside.”
“I...I think I’m going to be sick,” I whisper.
The nurse grabs one of those blue puke bags and hands it to me. “It’s likely due to the pain you’re in, ma’am,” she states. “We’ll get you squared away, I promise.”
I sure as hell hope so. Never have I been in this kind of agony.
In no time at all, I’ve been processed through triage and am now in a room in one of those awful gowns while DJ prowls around looking in all the drawers and sharing her thoughts on what various items are used for. Cara, meanwhile, is sitting next to me. When the nurse comes in to take all my information for treatment purposes, DJ sits down as well. I answer her questions, still somewhat doubled over on the gurney I’m lying on and she makes the decision to get an IV started. “I’m pretty sure the doctor will be giving you fluids and likely pain meds, but we have to figure out what’s going on first.”
“Can her period cause this much pain?” DJ asks. I don’t have it in me to say much and am glad that at least one of us has our wits right now.
“It depends. Dr. Peters should be in shortly, try to relax. In the meantime, I’ll see if he’ll let me give you a mild pain reliever at least.”
Mere minutes later, the nurse is back with a syringe of something that she injects into my IV. “This will hopefully take the edge off,” she says, tossing the empty needle in the sharps container hanging on the wall.
“I hope so,” I whisper. I’m about to say something else when the doctor walks into the room.
“So, I gather your period has decided to play hardball this time, huh?” he asks. “By the way, I’m Dr. Peters. Let’s see if we can figure out what is going on and get you some relief.”
He performs his exam and I can see the worry in his eyes when he palpates my abdomen. His touch alone has me nearly coming off the gurney. “Let me make a call to my wife. She’s an OB/GYN here and just delivered a baby so she should still be around here. I think you need more than I can do.”
I look at Cara with wide eyes. “I think...I think I need to let Turk know.”
“He knows, honey. I texted Braxton and he’s been keeping in touch with him. He’s waiting on the next shift to show up. Seems everyone else went down with the flu and he’s having to hold the department down right now, although I’m sure he’s going crazy.”
Knowing my man, I can almost guarantee that he is. He’s so protective of me and the girls. Even last night, when he saw I was in pain, he did everything he could to help. I smile, knowing it likely looks like a grimace. The pain meds have taken a little of the edge off, but movement is still optional as far as I’m concerned, and the doctor palpating my abdomen sent everything back into overdrive. I’m about to say something when another doctor comes in with Dr. Peters. “Hi, I’m Dr. Peters,” the female says. “Hubby here says he thinks you need me instead of him. I’m thinking he wanted to see me, but then again, you look like you’re in major pain. How about we get an ultrasound to see what we’re dealing with? Have you always had this much pain with your periods?” She rattles off so many questions my head is soon spinning.
“I... they’ve always been painful, but never like this. Usually the first day, I’m on a heating pad praying for death. Then after that, it’s just a really heavy flow for about a week,” I tell her. Jeez, nothing like sharing all my personal shit with everyone in the room.
Before I know it, an ultrasound machine is wheeled into the room and the female Dr. Peters gets down to business. “Do you want your friends here?”
“Yes, please. My fiancé is stuck at work and I don’t think I’m all that clear-headed, so they can hopefully keep stuff straight.”
She rubs the gel on my abdomen and I hear her making little noises as she looks at the screen. I don’t understand anything and am waiting to hear what she has to say. “I normally don’t do this, but I need to do an internal exam.”
I groan out loud. I know that’s going to hurt like hell and the tears well up in my eyes and drip down my face. “I’m getting more pain medicine first, Trinity,” Dr. Peters says, seeing my face.
Within minutes, more medicine is making its way through my body and I can feel myself relaxing. She puts up a sheet to block me and the girls from what she’s doing and then says, “Relax.”
Yeah, relax while she’s got her hands in my hoo-ha? Okay, maybe not both hands, but right now, it feels like both hands! “Trinity, do you have anyone who can sign surgical paperwork for you?” she asks as she removes her gloves and lowers my gown.
“Surgical papers? Why?” I ask.
“You’ve got an ovarian cyst and possibly endometriosis. I need to do surgery to get rid of the cyst before it ruptures and causes more issues.”
“I’ll sign,” Cara says.
“How are you related?”
“We’re family,” she replies. Yeah, I guess we are family. Maybe not blood-related, but our status as old ladies makes us sisters.
“I want Turk here,” I say, tears falling faster. “I need...I need to talk to him.”
“He’s on his way,” DJ informs me, hanging up her phone. I didn’t even realize she was on it but I guess I was focused on what Dr. Peters was doing.
“Call him back and tell him to hurry. I am going to go get ready, we really need to get this done.”
Chief
My heart is beating so fast as I break every traffic law going to the hospital. DJ’s first phone call had me on the move and the second one had me running. She assured me that Axe and Hatch were taking the girls to Nan and would be there as soon as they could, but right now, I have to put eyes on my woman. I don’t understand what’s going on exactly, but knowing she’s about to have surgery has me scared shitless. And I’ve faced down men who were crazed on drugs with guns. Yet this little slip of a woman has me sending up prayers to whoever is listening that she comes out okay.
I reach the hospital and quickly run inside. Cara is waiting for me and leads me back to my woman, who has been prepped for surgery in the time they called me. “Trinity?” I ask as I make my way to her side. She’s obviously in no pain and I’m grateful they’ve got her hooked up to something that will take that away. I thought seeing Claree in pain was bad but seeing my woman writhing like she was this morning almost did me in. “I’m here, sweetheart,” I say as I bend down and kiss her forehead.
Her eyes open and she smiles. I can see how unfocused her eyes are as I stroke her hair that’s escaped the little cap they put on her for surgery. “Turk?” she asks, her voice whisper-soft.
“Yeah, sweetness?”
“If...if anything happens to me, promise me you’ll take care of the girls.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to you, Trinity!” I all but shout.
“Promise me.”
I can see the stubborn look come over her face and inwardly sigh. “I promise, sweetness. You worry about getting better. I love you, Trinity, and can’t imagine life without you.”
She squeezes my hand and is about to say something when a nurse comes in and says, “We’ve got to take her now. The doctor will call down to the surgery waiting room once she’s in recovery.” I give her one more kiss and watch them wheel her out of the room.
We’ve been waiting forever. Well, maybe not forever, but it seems like time stopped when I watched my life being rolled out of the room. Nan and the prospects have Claree, Shelby, Maysen, Ralynn, Lily and Luca at the clubhouse, which is good because I can’t worry about anything or anyone except Trinity. I talked to Claree a little while ago and did what I could to comfort her, telling her that she did good getting Trinity help. I know she’s scared, because of losing her mother, and am debating having one of the prospects bring her up here, to wait with us when I hear the wall phone ring. Running over to it, I say, “Dennison, tell me she’s okay.”
“Mr. Dennison, Dr. Peters here. Trinity was a sick young woman. We removed the ovarian cyst, did a laser procedure on the endometriosis, and…” she hesitates.
“What?”
“Were you aware she was pregnant?”
Pregnant? How? I was told I couldn’t have kids and since my ex never got pregnant, I never questioned that fact. “No...no we weren’t. How...how is the baby?” I ask. I hear the gasps of the women behind me, but I can’t focus on that right now.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Dennison. It was what is called an ectopic pregnancy, where the egg gets fertilized in the fallopian tube, not the uterus. The viability of a baby in that situation is always fatal. We had to remove that ovary and tube as well. I’m so sorry. There’s a slim chance she could get pregnant in the future if you want children, but it’ll be somewhat iffy because she’s down one ovary and tube.”
As if I care right now, all I give a fuck about is that my woman is okay. “Not worried about that right now, never thought I could have kids of my own, and we’re in the process of adopting two little girls. The only thing I care about right now, is when can I see her?”
“If you’ll give us a few to get her settled in recovery, I’ll send a nurse in to get you,” Dr. Peters says.
Thank fuck, I don’t think I can wait much longer to put my eyes on her. She was so scared going into surgery and she needs to know she’s fine and isn’t alone. That’s my one worry, her waking up without me there, by her side, waiting on her to open those gorgeous eyes. Now that I’m off the phone, I relay what the doctor said to everyone else. I can see the pitying looks in the girls’ eyes when I mention the pregnancy and I say, “No, none of that. She’s going to be fine and now that we know it’s a possibility, if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen, plain and simple.”
“It may be that simple for you, Chief, but it won't be so for her,” Cara says to me.
“She’s going to take this really hard, she’d already resigned herself that she’d never have a baby of her own, but now, she’ll know that she had been growing a life inside of her,” DJ says, wiping the tears from her eyes.
“Then we’ll watch her and make her see that sometimes, this happens,” I state. “The most important thing to me is she’s going to be okay. If I have to hold her every night while she cries, so be it. I’m not saying that I’m not disappointed, but given the fact that I never thought I could father children, I’ll help her get through this.”
“And we’ll help however we can,” Paisley says, grabbing both Cara and DJ’s hands standing in unity.
“You’re a very special group of ladies,” I tell them. “My brothers are very lucky men to have you at their sides.”
“We have to be to handle y’all,” DJ says, breaking up the somber moment. I’m about to say something else, when a nurse walks in, and motions to me. Following her, I give the others a wave and head out the door. My woman needs me.
Trinity
“Sweetness, wake up.” I can hear his voice, but can’t make my eyes open. I struggle with wanting to see his face along with his voice. Every time I attempt to open my eyes, they feel as if they’ve been glued shut. I feel like I’m going in and out of consciousness, and all I want is to wake up in his arms and think of this as just a bad dream.
“She should wake up soon,” a nurse says from somewhere. I guess she’s talking to him because I’m certainly in no condition to verbalize anything.
I can feel his hand stroking mine and I try to squeeze to let him know I’m here. When he squeezes my hand back, he leans over and whispers, “Love you, Trinity.” I feel wetness on the side of my face and can’t figure out where it’s coming from. “Don’t cry, sweetness, you’ll wake up soon, I promise. They just let me come back here so you wouldn’t be by yourself.”
Something settles inside of me at his words, I hate feeling vulnerable, and right now I feel very much so, since I can’t take care of myself, in any way, shape or form. I’m dependent on others to take care of all of my needs, and that doesn’t sit right with me. I want to see my girls, and hear them laugh, and see their smiles. I hope I can get out of this place as soon as I’m up and about. I want to blow this popsicle stand, I can’t help but chuckle inside at this frame of thought. It sounds like something the kids would say.
“What do you mean I have to stay a week?” I ask. A whole week? Why? They did the surgery through my belly button, so it’s not like I’ve been cut open or anything.
“Sweetness, you’ve been running a fever on and off. They want to give you some antibiotics through your IV and can’t do that if you’re at home,” Turk states. His patience with me has been nothing short of mind-blowing. In fact, he hasn’t left my side. The girls are with Cara and Braxton, since Claree and Talon can’t be trusted alone with one another. Stupid infection, all I want to do is hit the road! I hate being a patient, I hate people waiting on me hand and foot and I really hate others’ pity. I want to stomp my foot like a petulant child, and demand I get my own way, but knowing my man, that won’t succeed in me getting anything but a hand to my butt...and not in a good way either.
“Turk,” I whine out. “I want our bed and our blankets, not this...this...shit!” I hear him chuckle at my words as I try and toss the offending blankets off my lap.
“You’ll be home soon enough, Trinity. Now, behave or I won’t bring the girls up later.” Wait, what? He would keep my girls from me? Oh hell no! Not happening. I have no clue why I’m so feisty but I’m thinking it has something to do with the hormones rampaging through my body. It killed me when Turk told me how extensive the surgery was and while he has said over and over again that it happens and not to worry about it, I feel guilty. I didn’t even know I was pregnant in the first place for Christ’s sake...who doesn't realize they’re pregnant? My body failed to protect our child. One we may not have known about but one that would have been loved just the same. I want to scream out about the injustice of it all...women are given children daily, ones who do and don’t deserve them, and my body has betrayed me in the worst way a woman’s ever could. It stole an innocent life from my grips, it tore out my heart and soul and stomped on it and replaced it damaged and broken. I may not have known, I may not have been far along, but even knowing there was a life inside of me, I feel robbed of the love I feel for a baby I never even got the chance to hold in my arms.
“Can I at least get some decent food?” I ask. I feel like a snotty kid right now because he looks at me and nods. I can’t help but feel like my emotions are out of control, I am not in the driver's seat on this one. Right now, my emotions are running the show.
“You can have whatever you want, sweetness. I’ll pick something up for all of us, okay?”
And here come the tears again. He’s been unfailingly patient while I’ve been nothing but a shrew. Maybe not outwardly, but inside my head? Jeez, I can’t stop complaining and bitching.
“Trinity, why are you crying?” he asks me, pulling me close. After I was in my room, he made it a point to lay next to me, in the bed, and dared anyone to say something to him. I bury my face in his chest and sob.
“I... I’m sorry, Turk,” I stammer. “It... it’s my fault.”
He tilts my face up so I’m forced to look at him before saying, “This is not your fault and I won’t have you thinking otherwise, you hear me? Dr. Peters said that this happens. Thankfully for all of us, Claree was worried and called me because if either the cyst or your tube had ruptured, I wouldn’t have you here, in my arms any longer. That pain saved your life, Trinity.”
While he’s giving his speech, all I want to do is scream out, ‘not to me, this doesn't happen to me’! Why do all the bad things that can happen to someone, to a woman, always seem to land at my feet? I don’t feel like I deserve his love, patience or understanding. As a matter of fact, I don’t know why he hasn’t walked out the door and not looked back.
“I can see you don’t believe me, sweetness, so if I have to tell you every day for the next sixty years that it wasn’t your fault, I will, y’hear me?”
“But why?” I ask.
“Why? Woman, I swear you could make a saint weep. I’ll tell you why. I love you. Plain and simple. I fell in love with you. Don’t you remember what you said when I told you I couldn’t father children? You said it didn't matter. Well, now I’m telling you the same thing. I’m glad we found out that it’s a possibility down the road and yeah, I hate that our baby wouldn’t have survived, but the fact of the matter is, he or she saved your life.”
“I just feel so out of sorts about this all, I just wish I could understand how this could happen to me, to us.”
“I know you do, baby, and I wish I had those answers for you. I asked Dr. Peters but even she said they don’t know why it sometimes happens.”
“So it wasn’t something I did wrong then?”
“You did absolutely nothing wrong. This happens to women, there is no scientific explanation, if there was they could fix it before it ever even happens. We need to mourn our baby, and move on, for us, for Claree and Shelby, for any future children that come into our lives, however they come to us. Whether they’re ours biologically, or we save them the same way we did our girls.”
“Should we tell them?”
“Maybe when they’re a little bit older, but eventually, yeah, I think we should.”
“Turk?”
“Yeah, baby.”
“I’m really hungry and suddenly very tired. Can you go get me something decent to eat while I close my eyes?”
“You nap, sweetness, and when you wake up, I’ll have our girls and some good food, okay?” He kisses me gently before getting out of the bed. My last thought as he walks out the door is how lucky I am that he still wants me in his life.