Chapter 25

 

 

Graham

 

 

I PUT THE SANTA suit on, along with the wig, beard, and cap. Although the costume was itchy and loose in the middle, it was of decent quality, not like some of the ones out there.

“Looking pretty swanky there, Santa,” Tank said, when I walked out of the bathroom. “Where’s the glasses?”

“They’re in my pocket. I’ll put them on when I get to the nursing home,” I replied, patting the suit.

Studying me, he tapped his chin. “You need more girth. Nobody likes a skinny Santa. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.”

He walked away and returned a few seconds later with a pillow. “Here. Wear this underneath.”

Looking at the pillow, I grimaced. “You kidding me? There’s probably jizz on that thing.”

“Nah. It’s new,” he said, chuckling. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t be touching it.”

I took the pillow, unbuttoned the jacket, and arranged it around my stomach.

“That’s better,” Tank said, after I had everything back together. “Now, let’s hear some of your ‘ho, ho, ho’s’.

Sighing, I did what he asked.

“How about with a little more enthusiasm,” he said, his lip twitching.

“Ho, ho, ho,” I said loudly.

Tank grinned. “Excellent. Let’s go. I have the candy and reindeer loaded in my truck. The others are waiting for us in the parking lot.”

“You’re coming with?”

“Of course. Someone has to make sure you guys behave yourselves around all those gorgeous ‘Oldies-but-goodies’,” he replied, slipping his jacket on. “Hell, Cleaner will probably add some tallies to his checklist of putang if we’re not careful.”

I grinned.

 

WE ALL DROVE separately to the nursing home. When we arrived, Tank handed everyone else Santa hats, and then took out a red, velvet bag. I opened it and saw that it was filled with small wrapped presents and mini candy canes.

“There should be enough reindeer inside for everyone,” he said as I slung the bag over my shoulder.

“You sure they’re going to want stuffed animals?” Cleaner asked, puffing on a cigarette.

“They’re soft and child-proof. I figured that if they’re safe enough for a toddler, they’re safe enough for the geezers,” Tank replied. “There’s not much else we’re allowed to pass out, anyway.”

“Makes sense,” he said, putting his cigarette out on the bottom of his boot.

“Hey, Santa, get your eyeglasses on,” Tank said, looking at me.

“Oh, yeah.” I pulled the spectacles out and slid them over my nose.

“There you go. You look good,” Tank said, nodding in approval.

“He looks like he’d fit in really good here,” Brock said with a smirk. “You’d better watch out, Dodger, or the staff might mistake you for one of their patrons. Especially with all of the diversity in this city. Not everyone celebrates Christmas and knows who St. Nick is.”

“Three-hots-and-a-cot. Anything is better than last year, right Dodge?” Cleaner said.

I gave him a dirty look.

“That’s cold, even for you Cleaner. Quit fucking with him or you’ll be the one in the Santa suit,” Tank said as we walked toward the entrance.

“You’re right. Sorry,” Cleaner said.

I didn’t reply.

We walked into the building and the attendant at the desk buzzed us inside.

“Oh, we’ve been expecting you,” the woman said, smiling brightly. “Just sign in on the clipboard and I’ll let the activities coordinator know you’re here.”

“Thank you,” Tank replied, picking up the pen. He signed us in and then a couple of minutes later, we were led toward the nursing home’s social gathering area by a woman named Mary.

“They’ve been waiting all day for you to arrive,” she said, smiling. “This is the first time anyone has ever volunteered to do something like this, by the way. Thank you so much for making their holiday so special.”

“We’re happy to do it,” Tank said, smiling back.

“Many of these people don’t even get to see their family for Christmas. Some don’t have a family.” She sighed. “It’s so sad how lonely some of them are. Your visit will be the highlight of their week. Heck, for the year for some of them.”

Her words touched my heart and for the first time, I was glad to be there.

“Get ready, Dodger,” Tank said in a low voice. “Remember, you’re Kris Kringle. You’re a jolly, old elf who’s happy to be here.”

“I’m sure they know this is just a costume,” I replied, smiling and shaking my head.

Tank grunted. “Jesus Christ, can you just not be so damn serious all the fucking time.” He gave Mary a sheepish grin when he saw her look back at him. “Sorry. Language. My bad.”

“You must be on Santa’s naughty list,” she replied with a smirk.

Tank winked at her. “Mary, I’m as naughty as they come.”

She laughed.

When we stepped into the gathering area, someone was playing Christmas music on the piano and almost everyone else was gathered in a circle. Many of the seniors were in wheelchairs and a few had oxygen masks attached to their noses. Fortunately, they were all wearing stickers with their names written in black marker, making it easier for us.

“There he is!” cried Ethel, an elderly woman with red hair and thick glasses. “Santa Claus!”

“Ho, ho, ho!” I hollered in a deep baritone voice, getting into character. “Looks like Santa got here just in time for the party!”

Most of them laughed.

“What he say?” barked out an old man named Ed, cocking his ear.

“He said he wants to party with us!” Ethel hollered.

Ed smiled and nodded. “Good.”

“Santa! Would you like some cookies and milk?” a woman named Sara asked, shuffling toward me with her walker. “I bet you’re hungry from that long trip from the North Pole. We have several kinds for you on the buffet.”

“That sounds wonderful, Sara. Santa is always hungry for cookies,” I said in a robust voice as I set the velvet bag down and opened it up. “But first, I have some gifts I want to pass out to all of you first.”

“What he say?” Ed hollered out.

“He has presents for us!” Ethel cried.

Ed grinned. “Oh, I like presents.”

“Are those you’re elves?” asked another man, Bill. “Or your bodyguards?”

“We’re both,” Tank said, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. He smiled warmly at everyone. “We wanted to make sure that nobody stole any of Santa’s presents before he was able to pass them out to you.”

“Let me get some help from one my elves,” I said. “Glitzy Sugar Pecker, come on over here and help Santa.”

The guys all looked at me with confused expressions.

Enjoying this, I motioned toward Cleaner.

He walked over. “Glitzy Sugar Pecker?” he whispered, as I handed him some presents.

“Yeah. It sounds more elfish. Don’t you think?” I whispered, chuckling.

Cleaner nodded. “I actually kind of like it.”

“You would.”

“I bet Chloe would, too. The sugary pecker part of me, especially.”

I rolled my eyes.

We started passing out the presents to everyone and it was heartwarming to see the excitement on their faces.

“Can we open them?” Ed asked.

“Yes, of course,” I replied.

“What?” he asked.

“Yes, you can!” hollered Ethel. “Open your gift!”

“Thank you!” he said, a happy gleam in his eyes as he began ripping the paper off.

“Don’t be afraid to yell at him. His hearing aid doesn’t work very well,” Ethel told me.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” I replied. “It must be hard for him.”

“And for us. We’re always having to yell at Ed,” Bill said. “Makes my voice hoarse, if you want to know the truth.”

“Here. Have another candy cane,” I said, reaching back in my bag. “It might help.”

“Thank you, son,” he said, taking it from me.

“Don’t forget to open your present,” I said, nodding toward the box sitting on his lap.

“If it’s a reindeer like everyone else has, I’d like to save it for my great granddaughter, if that’s okay? I haven’t been able to get her a gift for Christmas,” he said, a sad look on his face. ‘I just can’t get around anymore.”

I patted his shoulder softly. “Be my guest, Bill.”

“Thank you,” he replied.

When all of the gifts were given out, I walked around and spent some time with each of the residents. A few of the elderly grabbed my hand with tears in their eyes, thanking me for just being there.

 “I know you’re not really Santa,” a woman named Phyllis said in a low voice. “But, you made us feel young again. Thank you, dear fellow.”

I patted her hand. “You’re welcome, Phyllis. It’s my pleasure.”

And I meant it.

The longer I spent visiting with each of them, the more I began to realize how much I’d needed it, too. I’d been so self-absorbed in wanting to do my own thing that I’d forgotten how precious life was, how quickly it could pass by, and how lonely it could be. I even got a little choked up when one of the women thought I was her son, who I later learned had been killed on nine-eleven. Unfortunately, she had Alzheimer’s and was confused. I let her think I was him, although I don’t know if it was the right thing to do. But, seeing the joy on her face, I knew she’d needed it.

When it was time to leave, I was emotionally drained but felt like I’d done something meaningful. In fact, I felt ashamed for wanting to skip such an important event for these people. Sure, someone else could have played Santa, but I was glad to have gotten the opportunity and had learned some valuable lessons. Ironically, I’d been the one giving the gifts but had received so much more in return.

“Santa has to leave now,” I said, waving at everyone. “I wish I could stay longer, but we’re very busy at the North Pole this time of year.”

“What he say about the North Pole?” Ed asked, looking confused.

“He’s going back,” Ethel yelled, winking at me.

“Oh.” Ed’s thoughtful look turned into a lecherous smile. “Speaking of poles… Next year can you bring me a doll, Santa? The kind you blow up and has three holes?”

Tank and I looked at each other and chuckled.

“What are you talking about?” Ethel asked loudly, looking confused. “Why would a grown man want a doll?”

“Santa knows,” Ed said, winking at me.

Finally realizing what he was talking about, she scolded him. “Oh, yuck. You wouldn’t know what to do with one of those things.”

“Maybe, I should practice on you first,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Her cheeks turned bright red. “Well, I never,” she said, stomping away.

“I know. Which is why I need me a doll,” Ed said.

 “Just stay on Santa’s good list,” I said loudly, winking at him.

“My clock is ticking. If I get a chance to be naughty, you’d better believe I will be,” he hollered back.

We all laughed.

 

 

AS WE WERE leaving, Tank put his arm over my shoulder. “I have to say, I was pretty proud of you in there, Dodge. You took the ball, ran with it, and made a touchdown.”

I smiled. “It was actually fun and hell, I learned some things in there, too.”

He winked. “I knew you would. That’s why I picked you specifically to play Santa.”

I raised my eyebrow.

“I thought you could use a little Christmas spirit. You seemed to have found it in there.”

“Yeah, I think I did,” I replied.

He patted me on the back and then started dishing out orders for the next day.

As I was leaving the parking lot, I looked over at the nursing home one last time and felt a sense of peace that I hadn’t in a long time.