Gabe

Meredith has something on her mind and I can’t stomach the thought of sitting here while she pretends to have a good time. Not when something is so obviously bothering her. I pay the tab and tip our waitress before leading her through The Saddle. A blast of summer air hits me as we step into the night. After the cacophony of noises in the crowded bar, the relative silence offered by the empty street is a welcome change. The door slams behind us as an evening breeze blows, cooling my face.

“We didn’t have to leave on my account,” Meredith says as I strain my neck looking for oncoming traffic before I back out of the parking spot.

“Oh, this isn’t about you.” I flip on a turn signal and maneuver through the streets. “This is about me and that little nugget in there.”

“So, leaving had nothing to do with the jerk who couldn’t take a hint?” Meredith draws her eyebrows together, making a face that says she doesn’t believe me for a second.

I bring my finger to my lip. “Did that happen tonight? I’d already forgotten about it,” I say with a smile. “No, I got hungry. And If I’m hungry, I figure he must be too.” I point at her belly. Meredith laughs and shakes her head, before settling her gaze on the dark sky outside her window.

“Okay, fine,” I say after a few moments of silence.

Meredith turns to me, confused. “Fine, what?”

I feign frustration. “Jeez, you’re as bad as Chet, hounding me until I crack.”

Meredith cocks a brow. “You do understand I have no clue what you’re talking about, right?”

“Okay, if you’re twisting my arm, maybe I also wanted to go someplace where we could talk about what’s bothering you.”

Meredith smiles. “Oh, right. My bad. I’m sorry I didn’t drop the issue. I know what a nag I can be when I sit quietly and count the stars through the window.”

I park in the lot next to Belle’s and kill the engine. “Hungry?”

Meredith rubs her belly. “Well, like you said, if you are, he must be.”

She rests her head on my arm as we cross the lot. When we reach the door, I pull it open and stand aside, allowing her to enter. “Okay if we take the booth in the back?” I ask the blonde-haired girl working behind the counter.

“Sure thing.” The waitress nods.

I place my hand at the small of Meredith’s back. “I assume our booth is alright with you?”

“Is it ours now? Officially?” She turns and winks as we walk to the back. “We should look into getting a plaque to commemorate it. Or maybe cordon the area off with velvet ropes. You know, as a reminder to others that it’s reserved for us.”

I roll my eyes, but am relieved to see her looking at least a little happier than before.

Meredith leans over the table when we sit. “Who is that? I don’t recognize her.”

“Who? The waitress?”

“Shhh. Yes.” She nods.

I rest my hand on hers as I lean in to whisper. “I’m not sure, I’ve never seen her before. But why are we whispering? She’s on the other side of the room.”

Meredith sits back and smiles. “Oh, see I thought you were on a first name basis with all the women in town.”

Following her lead, I sit upright. “Really? That you couldn’t whisper?” I shake my head. “No. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen her before. Besides, what is she, twenty?” I smile. “I hadn’t made it that far. I was still working through girls in their mid to late twenties.”

Meredith is not amused. “This is your idea of talking about what’s bothering me?”

My smile falls. “Right, too soon. I see that now. Anyway...” I clear my throat. “I’ve never seen her in here before.” I open my menu and pretend to study it. “Here she comes,” I warn as the waitress approaches.

“Evening,” she says around her chewing gum. “Can I get you started with some drinks?”

Meredith smiles at the girl. “Good evening. I’ll just have a glass of water, thanks.”

“And for you?”

“Coffee for me, thanks—decaf if you don’t mind.”

“Sure thing. I’ll be right back.”

When the girl is out of earshot, I close the menu. “You shouldn’t let that jerk at the bar get under your skin—if that’s what has you upset, I mean. A guy like that, he’s got issues that have nothing to do with you.”

The young girl returns to our table, struggling to balance a large tray with two glasses of water and a cup of coffee. I notice her nametag as she sets the glasses in front of us. “Brooke, is it?”

“Yes sir,” she says, surprised. “How’d you know that?”

I smile and indicate the white tag on her shirt. “Took a chance.”

“Oh right.” Her cheeks flush with embarrassment. “Sorry, I just started this week and it’s my first night on my own.” She places the tray under her arm while she digs in the pockets of her apron for her pen and notepad. “Are you ready to order, or do you need a few more minutes?”

I look to Meredith who nods. “I’ll have a slice of pie. Apple if you have it.”

“We have Dutch apple. That alright?”

Meredith’s eyes dance. “That is definitely, alright.”

“And for you?” the waitress asks as she jots the order.

“I’m okay with the coffee for now.” I lift my cup. “So, you say just started? Are you new in town?”

The girl smiles. “Oh no, I’ve lived here my whole life. I’m just working part time to try and save for college.”

“Oh yeah? I ask. “What year are you?”

“Huh?” The girl puts a hand on her hip as she considers the question.” Well, I’ll be a senior this fall, so—” she chews her gum “—next year. And I’m so done with high school drama. I can hardly wait.”

Are you fucking kidding me? This girl is in high school?

Meredith takes one look at my face and laughs out loud.

The waitress looks confused, but brushes it off. “Let me get that pie for you,” she says with a smile as she turns to leave.

“Twenty, huh?” Meredith giggles. “Guess it’s a good thing you’re off the market. You might have ended up in jail if I hadn’t been here,” she says, sarcastically.

“Hey. Now, in my…” I begin to defend myself, but think better of it. “Just add that to the list of reasons why I’m lucky to be off the market.” The smile on Meredith’s face tells me that was the correct response.

The waitress returns with Meredith’s pie and a pot of decaf to top off my cup. Realizing she’s interrupting, she steps back. “Just yell for me if you need anything else.”

Meredith digs her fork at the crumble topping of her pie. “It’s wasn’t the guy at the bar. I mean, he was gross, but it was more than that.” She cuts a small piece of apple away and takes a bite. “Mmm. So good. This may give the pecan a run for its money.”

“Doubtful.” I sip my coffee. “Anyway, you were saying?”

“That jerk. He was only a reminder of a problem I’ve had my whole life.”

“Okay, then I’m confused, Doll. What problem?”

Meredith sighs, sadness clouding her eyes. “I guess...” She shakes her head, frowning. “It just feels like no matter what I’m saying, or who I’m saying it to, no one hears me. Like I’m invisible or something.”

I choke on the hot coffee in my mouth. “I hear you.”

“You do. Mostly.” She licks her lips. “It’s really not a big deal. I don’t know how I could have been any clearer with that guy. It got to me. That’s all.”

“Mostly?” I frown. “What do I do?”

“Well, you didn’t have any problem flirting with the waitress right in front of me. Until you learned she is, literally, still a child.”

“Flirting?” My shoulders roll back. “I wasn’t flirting. I was just making polite conversation. Trying to get to the bottom of her story, because you seemed interested. Completely different situation.”

Meredith stares in disbelief for a minute. About what, I have no idea.

“Okay then.” She sighs. “How about when I told you I couldn’t afford tuition at a private college and asked you to consider my needs…” She grins, satisfied she’s made her point, and waves away the topic. “But that’s ancient history. And you’re not the main culprit.”

Silence settles between us as Meredith carves off small bites of pie and I sip my coffee while I think back over my interaction with the waitress. No way was I flirting. I only asked because she wanted to low down on the waitress. She’s crazy.

“Since I’ve been back, it’s just little things here and there. Like when I asked you to stay the day I met Christy.” She trails off, her eyes dropping to the plate. “But when you add those little things to the mile-long list of things I’ve said that people didn’t hear...”

She’s got me there. I don’t remember her telling me to stay that morning. “What list, Doll? I’m still not following.”

“It’s my whole life, Gabe. Daddy still believes he knows better than me what I need in my life. He used to dictate who I could hang out with, who I could date.” She raises her eyebrows. “Except for you. I stood my ground there, but boy did I pay for it after we broke up. And don’t get me started on Mom. With her it was everything else. I fought with them so many times. But to this day, I’m not sure it ever did any good because in the end, they won. We broke up and I spent a decade stuck in a career I didn’t love.”

I look her in the eyes. “I’m sorry. I really had no idea.”

“And then, a few months before I was supposed to marry Jeff, I realized I didn’t love him. That if the way I felt about you was love, I didn’t have nearly the same feelings for him as I did with you. And he drove me crazy, with his drinking and gaming. I called Mom and told her I didn’t want to marry him. I sat there on the phone, crying. I was terrified because I knew he wasn’t the man for me, and I was desperate for advice. You know what she said?”

“What?”

“She said I was being ridiculous. That I was nervous. That I was being selfish, and everything would be fine. Just one more time she wasn’t listening.” Meredith pushes the plate away. “And eventually I caved, and married the guy anyway. I’m just tired of it, you know. Of wanting one thing, but settling for something less, because of someone else. When that guy sat down like he had the right to take your chair. And I told him I wasn’t interested, and he just kept on like what I thought about it didn’t matter, it got to me. Like I said. It’s silly.”

“It’s not. And I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. This is just me being too sensitive.”

“Well, I promise…no…I swear that I will listen to you. Your thoughts. Your feelings. Your desires. They matter. You have a voice with me, Mer. If you don’t want pie, you will not have pie.” I pull her plate across the table and pick up my fork. “In fact, let me relieve you of what’s left of this burden.”

“Oh no, mister.” She grabs the plate from me and slides it back to her side of the table. “Get your own.”