~Bladen~
“Hate to put you on the spot, but we need to talk, and not in public. What’s your address? I’ll take you home.”
She’s still in my arms. Her lips are plump like bees have stung them. I like it. I relish that I did it to her. I knew the minute I laid eyes on her that, though Tamalyn Andrews may have lost some weight, that hair, although a little frail, is the right color, those hips, those eyes—this is my woman.
“You’re not going home with me.”
“Shit’s gone down. Did what should have been done before. You’re safe, you have my word, but I need to talk to you, and this ain’t the place to do it.”
“I’m not who you think I am.”
My frustration builds. I don’t want to be a dick and push her too hard, but time is important. She needs to know what has gone down.
“Don’t have time to play games.” I cup her chin in my hand and tilt her head softly to make her look me in the eyes. “Never played games with you; always kept it real. It’s always been you. Don’t push all that aside for some self-preservation shit right now. I get I fucked some shit up. I get I’ve stayed away. But fuck, you know why. You know if they found me, it would lead to you if I didn’t play it right. Now please, Tamalyn, I’m begging you to tell me where you live so I can take you home and we can talk. When I’m done, you want me to leave and never look back, so be it.”
It kills me to even think of being away from her ever again, but if she learns the truth and wants me gone, I will leave. I will go back to the way it was before, or I will at least try my damnedest to.
For a moment, I wonder if she will stand behind this ruse. Then she softens and sighs.
“I’m just up the road behind Benny’s. I live in the shed.”
She lives in a shed, while I have more money in my bank account than I’ll ever spend in a lifetime. It kills me to think of her struggling. I help her finish her work. Then, when we get outside, she hesitates before climbing on the back of my bike after giving me directions to her house.
The moment she settles in behind me, I can’t help asking, “Remember the first ride?”
She doesn’t respond.
“Bladen, I can’t believe you got a motorcycle.”
“It’s better on gas, easier to maintain, and all around cheaper,” I explain, just like I did my mother.
“You really want me to climb on here?”
“Trust me, Tamalyn. Promise you, baby, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you when your arms are around me, or mine are around you.”
When she rests her hands on my sides, I turn my head to her. “Whether your arms are around me or mine around you, Tamalyn Andrews, you’re safe now. Fucked up before. Made shit as right as I can. You’re safe.”
She blinks in shock. I hate that she’s reading between the lines and probably thinking the worst. Then again, the worst is the truth. She’s safe and I made it so by taking his life. I have no regrets on that, only that I didn’t do it sooner.
As I turn back around to crank my bike, she slides her arms around my front, resting them on my abs and pressing her front into my back. The familiar feelings settles in my belly. Never had someone on my bike but her. She is my purpose in life.
Home.
This right here is home. No matter where I’ve traveled, nothing is home unless she’s by my side.
I pull off, feeling settled for the first time in my entire life.
We get to her place quickly. I park at the edge of the street, trying not to disturb her landlord since she lives in someone’s backyard.
Before we can enter, I see the sparkle in the night sky off the pinwheel.
“Amanda Horte, my ass, Tamalyn,” I remark, pointing to the shining spinner.
She shrugs.
“Still have yours. Never been without it.”
“Doesn’t matter, Bladen.”
She says my name, and I swear my heart stops. I stand still as she pushes on, not knowing what it means to hear my name on her lips again.
Shaking off the multitude of emotions washing over me, I follow her inside.
The sight in front of me has both Tamalyn and I standing still.
There is a man’s naked ass in her bed. Some fucker is face down, ass up, no clothes, uncovered in my woman’s bed.
“What the fuck!” I roar before yanking the man up and setting him upright on his feet.
“Shit,” he slurs, wobbling before falling to the bed again.
“What are you on, Tommy?” Tamalyn asks, standing behind me.
She hasn’t touched me, but I can feel her body trembling behind mine.
“Ice,” he says before passing out and falling sideways on her bed.
I turn to her. I read her face.
Fear.
“Tamalyn, I didn’t mean to scare you. Just … this … Who is he?”
“My boyfriend,” she fires off quickly. Too quickly. She also gives a small roll of her eyes, her clear tell since childhood she’s lying.
“Try again,” I reply, trying to sort heads or tails of the situation.
She huffs, but I can read it in her face, she’s defeated. “Benny’s son. He’s in trouble. He comes and goes. Apparently, tonight he’s here.” The truth comes out.
I turn back around and slap his leg. “Get up and get out.”
It takes a beat, but he finally gets up and puts clothes on.
“Mandee, I’ll be just inside mom and dad’s if you need me.”
“Just sleep this shit off, Tommy, and don’t tell your folks. They’re good people,” she tells him.
He takes off, and I lock the door behind him.
Watching her move around the space like I’m not here kills me.
Taking clothes with her, she goes behind a curtain and changes.
“It’s late. I’m tired,” she says from her curtain. “Can we sleep and talk tomorrow?”
Rather than answer, I strip down to my jeans and boxers. It may not be the most comfortable way to sleep, but my cock this close to Tamalyn after so long, I need barriers.
Climbing in bed, I wait.
When she emerges, her hair is tied back, her face is makeup free, and she’s wearing some short-ass shorts and a tank top. She slowly climbs into bed beside me. When she turns her back to me, I reach out and stroke her hair back from her face without messing up the ponytail.
“Would rather say this with you against me,” I say softly.
“Don’t think we need to talk right now.”
“Caleb Andrews is dead, Tamalyn. Nothing for you to fear anymore. My dad is gone, too.”
She gasps then turns to look me in the eyes.
“Shoulda done shit differently. Learned some stuff, baby. Don’t know how to lay it out, except just to say it.” I pause. “Caleb told me everything.”
She drops her head.
I roll her over and pull her close. Resting her against me, I tip her chin to look me in the eye. “None of that was on you, Tamalyn. He was a sick fuck with a chip on his shoulder. Don’t know how you’re gonna take this, but baby, he wasn’t your dad. Guess at some point your mom stepped out. I don’t know. We’re still looking into it.”
“Bladen, I don’t need you or anyone else in my business.”
Her reaction surprises me. I knew she’d be pissed at me, but to shut me out like this, I am shocked. It’s a lot to process, maybe I need to give her some time.
“Is everything going to be a fight for us now? We have a chance. I fucked up; I get it. I’m here, Tamalyn. I’m here trying to make shit right.”
“Maybe you can’t make it right, Bladen. Maybe it just is what it is, and we just need to move forward.”
My world crumbles. “I can’t say it is what it is and walk away again. Really, can you look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing?”
She looks up at me and fear hits me that she really is going to tell me to fuck off.
“What I feel is afraid,” the words are a whisper. “Afraid that you’re here and it’s not real. Afraid that the only person I’ve ever loved in my whole life is going to make me feel safe once more only to turn and walk away. So no, Bladen Jones, I don’t feel nothing, I feel everything. And because of that, I choose to hold onto nothing.”
I don’t know what to do with her. The weight on my chest is heavier now than ever before. She really can’t be this detached from it all, can she?