Chapter 24

She had fallen asleep at the side of his bed, her head resting on the back of her chair and her feet propped up on an ottoman. She awoke to the sound of water running.

Audrey let her eyes open slowly, her fatigue surprising her a little. Her son was still asleep in the bed, and she checked her watch; it said six thirty. The little bedside lamp was still on, and she watched her son’s chest rise and fall in medicine-induced slumber. The water running in the bathroom came back into focus and forced her to get up; she noticed steam coming in from under the bathroom door.

Sleep vanished from her mind as she crept slowly to the bathroom; the hair on the back of her neck and on her arms stood straight up. The door was slightly ajar, and she heard movement inside. She stopped.

Looking around the bedroom, she found her son’s baseball bat in the corner along with a mitt and baseball. Tanner—a friend of Jake’s—and a few other guys were on an after-work baseball team, The Hornets. She picked up the bat and held it tight in her hands. She was going to walk straight into the bathroom and beat to death whoever was in the house.

Using the bat, she pushed the door open. The mirror over the sink was fogged up with steam, and her heart thudded in her ears as she rounded the corner towards the shower. Someone was standing behind the shower curtain, the silhouette of a man. With an unsteady hand, she reached for the curtain and jerked it back, raising the bat high above her head. The man, having heard the curtain slide, jerked around, soap in his face, and screamed, sliding backwards.

“Jesus Christ, Audrey!” her ex-husband bellowed, trying to catch his balance.

“Daniel!” she cried out, slumping backwards and settling her behind down on the toilet, breathing hard. She looked up from where she sat, at her naked husband who had lost the extra twenty-five or so pounds he’d gained during their marriage. He was rubbing the soap out of his eyes and rinsing his face, cursing and carrying on. She started to laugh, and then she was laughing so hard she almost fell off the toilet. She clutched at her midsection as tears rolled down her face.

Daniel stopped cursing; given the awkwardness of the situation, he chuckled himself. “If you wanted to see me naked, Audrey, all you had to do is ask.” He slid the curtain back closed.

“Oh… Oh, Daniel. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had. I thought you were a ghost.”

He pulled the curtain back and looked at her strangely. His handsome face lit up in a quizzical way, a few more lines around his eyes than she remembered. His gray hair was plastered to his head, but his eyes were as blue as she remembered. She felt a tug deep inside her heart for the slightest second, remembering what could have been, what should have been.

“A ghost, huh?” Daniel grabbed for the towel.

“Yeah. Never mind. When did you get here?” she asked as he stepped out of the shower. He’d been working out, his shoulders broader and his chest tighter. She kept her back to him as he towel-dried off.

“About thirty minutes. The front door was unlocked, and you and Jake were both sound asleep. I tried calling on the phone, but you didn’t answer. I was worried something had happened.”

“Yeah. I gave him a Xanax so he could sleep. You should have seen him, Daniel. He was so sick and besides himself. I was afraid he was going to die from grief.” She handed him his underwear and t-shirt from the sink, her back still turned to him.

“Did the police say anything else?” he asked as he slipped into his underwear. He talked to his ex-wife’s back, frowning. She looked great; she always had. If it hadn’t been for that last miscarriage, they wouldn’t be apart like this. He wasn’t surprised that she came in at him with a bat; she loved and protected her Jake with fierceness. No one could ever accuse her of being a bad mother.

“You can turn around now,” he said as he buckled his blue jeans.

She did just that, looking up at him.

“Daniel, you should have seen him.” She put her head in her hands.

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeah. I didn’t know he was having an affair with…that woman. I knew he was staying out late, and I knew he was seen out, but with her?” She exhaled sharply. Jessica had a bad reputation in town for being a heartbreaker, and when she married the single wealthiest man—a lead accountant for a computer firm—she was labeled a gold digger. Now she was dead, and the law was looking at her son.

“We’ll take care of this. How about you? How you feeling?” he asked, concern in his voice. She had dark circles under her eyes, and her face looked strained.

“I’m hanging in there. Daniel, how bad can this get?”

“That depends, really. I mean, if he didn’t do it, he didn’t do it. We just have to make sure we can account for where he was and when he left. You said they were at a motel? Good. That means he had to check out at some point.” The gears in his head were turning.

“Daniel, there’s been some other stuff happening. This makes the third drowning in the past week,” she said, standing up. “He’ll be glad to see you.”

He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She leaned into him, letting him hold her for a short while before he released her and stepped out of the bathroom, taking the baseball bat with him. His son’s light was on above his bed, and Daniel stopped dead in his tracks. Standing two feet away from the sleeping boy was a scantily clad woman. She was wearing nothing more than a t-shirt and a pair of panties, but something was wrong—her color was all wrong. Her bare legs were so pale they were almost blue.

“HEY! Get away from him!” he screamed, raising the bat up. The woman spun around to face him. One of her eyeballs had exploded and hung limp on her face, her matted wet hair stuck to her head. Behind him, he heard his ex-wife scream.

Daniel’s muscles bunched up and he leapt forward, bringing the bat up, his instincts taking over. The woman screamed, a gargled, disjointed sound, and when the bat hit her square in the head, she exploded. Water sprayed him, soaking the front of his shirt, and their sleeping son, who woke with a start.

“What the fu… Dad?” His bleary-eyed and confused son watched in astonishment as he wiped the water off his face. Audrey stepped around Daniel to reach Jake.

Daniel turned his head to the open door and saw wet footprints. His body shook, his breathing was labored, his curiosity piqued. Leaving his son and ex-wife in the bedroom, he followed the trail to its source.

* * * * * * * *

They laughed and were enthralled with Tommy’s stories. Hayden listened intently with a smile on his face. It was nice not being the center of attention; he knew they meant well, and he silently thanked Tommy for the distraction. Tommy had checked the fireplace and declared the floor was in good order, wandered outside, and brought in some firewood. He placed the pieces inside, added something to it, and lit it. It was wonderful; the chilly air outside had been traded for a roaring fire and glasses of red wine.

Tommy was in the midst of telling them a story of a Taliban soldier and a goat, and Amanda’s sides were about to burst, she was laughing so hard. Terri was snickering pretty hard, too, hiding her face in her hands. Hayden snorted at the conclusion of the story and rolled his eyes. Tommy looked over at him and grinned, his face alight with mischief. He winked at Hayden, who winked back.

Before too long, everyone decided to turn in. They had to make it an early morning and had plenty of work to do. Tommy waited in the living room while Hayden showed his guests the bathrooms in case they wanted to shower. He stopped on his way back and grabbed a few large blankets and a pillow from his bed, walking them downstairs to his other guest.

Tommy stood at the plate-glass window staring out into the night. His back was to Hayden as he came down. He’d turned down the lights so the only thing that glowed was the dying fire in the fireplace. As he entered the room, Tommy turned, the jolliness that he had been filled with now gone, replaced with fierce watchfulness and a jaw set in stone. Hayden felt his heart skip a beat with the change in attitude. Then it dawned on him. Tommy had been the life of the party to put the other two at ease.

Hayden couldn’t help himself; he smiled. He honestly felt better about them being here and having someone to watch over them. Tommy walked over and helped him spread the sheets over his makeshift bed.

“Sorry, but I think this couch is much more comfortable than that damn air mattress I bought the other day. It gets cold sleeping on it, I swear. I hope it’ll be good enough,” Hayden apologized, throwing the blanket over the top and laying the pillow down. It was a miscalculation on Hayden’s part as the pillow started to slide of the end of the couch. They both reached for it and their hands touched—just a brush, but enough to send a fire up Hayden’s arm.

Tommy was watching him now, curious. The dull roar in his head throbbed against his temples. He had to force his breathing to slow down. Hayden’s longish hair was in his eyes and Tommy reached out and brushed it away. Hayden reached up and intended to stop him, but instead, held his hand and pressed it to his face. The warmth from Tommy’s large hands seeped through his skin, and for just the briefest of moments, he relished in it and Tommy let him. He had forgotten how another human being felt and was surprised at how hungry he was for the touch.

Tommy’s heartbeat doubled, watching Hayden’s eyes close, watching the mix of emotions that crossed his handsome face. He felt the wonder of the moment, the electricity of it, with fascination. The human inclination to be tactile, to touch, to feel and be felt wasn’t something out of the realm of understanding for Tommy. He felt the desire for a person, blind passion, and then the cool distance as he found himself spent. But this, this was different, tender, uncharted…

Hayden’s eyes snapped open and he let go of Tommy’s hand. He took a step back, shaking. “I’m sorry. I…just… I’m sorry.”

Tommy was shocked by his reaction—what was he sorry for? He furrowed his brow and took a step forward. Hayden kept apologizing and backing up.

“Hayden, it’s okay…”

“No, no it isn’t. I don’t know what came over me. I shouldn’t have. Tommy, it won’t ever happen again.” He trembled.

“Hayden stop—”

“I don’t ever do that. I mean, not since Malcolm, but there hasn’t been anyone, and it just happened…” Hayden kept going.

Tommy grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him slightly. Hayden stopped speaking and looked up into his eyes. “It’s okay. Really,” Tommy whispered and drew Hayden to him. His back was stiff, and he stood in Tommy’s arms rigidly for a second, and then slowly, began to melt into them.

Hayden buried his head in the space between Tommy’s neck and shoulder and felt his strong arms wrap around him. A log in the fireplace broke and fell, tossing embers up into the chimney. Hayden pressed his head against Tommy’s shoulder, felt his muscles flex under his shirt. Tommy ran his hands up and down Hayden’s back, feeling him sigh heavily, and slowly released him, the buzzing in his head satiated for now. He walked over to the table and grabbed their glasses of wine, motioning for Hayden to sit down next to him on the couch.

Hayden sat and accepted the glass, taking a long drink from it. Since the embrace broke, his mind, which had been racing all over the place, seemed to turn to sludge and the stress and nervous anticipation of the day suddenly caught up with him. Tommy sat quietly next to him, his arm behind him on the couch, very close.

“Thank you,” Hayden said, turning to look at him.

“People need to touch sometimes.”

Hayden snorted in his glass as he took another drink. What a curious thing to say. Hayden was going to ask him to expand on that when Tommy changed the subject.

“Your friends are pretty amazing. They love you a lot, I can tell.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty great. I’d forgotten how much of a whirlwind they are. They really enjoyed you too. You’re pretty funny.”

“Yeah, funny looking.” Tommy snorted.

“You’re kidding, right? You’re attract…” Hayden stopped as Tommy raised an eyebrow and smirked at him. The look on his face said “gotcha.”

Hayden rolled his eyes, thanking God silently that the room was dark so Tommy couldn’t see him blushing. He took another sip of his wine; it was making him sleepy. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes for a second.

There was an ache inside of Tommy, an ache that beckoned him to pull Hayden back into his arms. Taking Hayden’s glass, he set it on the table.

Intrigued, Hayden watched and felt Tommy reach around him and pull him closer. He allowed it, resting his head on Tommy’s chest and placing a hand on his stomach. He curled his legs up and adjusted his weight, getting comfortable. Tommy stroked his hair, his thick, callused fingers occasionally brushing Hayden’s cheek.

“So, what do we do in moments like these?” Tommy asked, his deep voice a hushed whisper.

Hayden sighed, letting his body relax into Tommy’s. He loved the scent of him, the strength and hardness of him. He felt somewhat guilty for being here, like he was betraying Malcolm’s memory, but he pushed that aside. Maybe the girls were right; maybe it was time to move on. But with Tommy? How far could this go? What was going on? Thousands of questions raced through Hayden’s head, as well as Tommy’s, but neither of them gave the doubts any mind.

“I guess we ask each other silly questions, like what are our favorite colors, movies, and foods to eat,” Hayden said. He listened to the steady rhythm of Tommy’s heartbeat.

“Hmm. I guess that’s the way we can go. Let’s see, I love the color blue. I like Chinese food. And my favorite movie is Elizabeth.” Tommy shifted his weight, putting his legs up on the couch and sinking further into it, drawing Hayden with him. “What about you?”

“I like blue, so we agree on that. I like Mexican food. And my favorite movie is A Time to Kill, the one with Sandra Bullock. She’s freaking beautiful.” Hayden’s eyes fell upon the fireplace, watching the embers glow.

“I think you’re beautiful,” Tommy said, running his hand up and down Hayden’s back.

“You do?” Hayden pulled himself up and saw that Tommy was watching him intently. A million thoughts raced Hayden’s mind, a million feelings dispersing themselves all over his body, and before he knew it, he’d laid a chaste and simple kiss on the tip of Tommy’s nose and lowered himself down to place his head back on Tommy’s chest. He knew if this went too fast, it could crash and burn. He didn’t want that; he didn’t want to hurt Tommy. As it happened, Tommy’s mind was in the same place.

Careful of the paths that had led them here, being sure not to trip and fall, they simply stayed where they were. As Tommy’s breathing slowed and his eyes closed, Hayden told himself he would just wait a few more minutes, until Tommy was asleep, and then he would take himself up to bed. That was his last thought before he, too, fell off the edge into the land of dreams.