That from-out-of-nowhere, amazing kiss.

It deflated me…then blew me back up.

So weird to be walking amongst this group down the tunnel like I didn’t just have my knees knocked out from under me.

I was trying hard to resist him.

He reminded me of the men in my family, so confident it was annoying. Just made me want to shoot that ego into dust.

But he wouldn’t let me. And I like that.

Sofia matches my pace and slips her hand into mine. Her eyes ask me if I’m cool with going to dinner. I blink a subtle affirmation and her pouty lips turn into a sly smile. Which only makes things worse for me. I want him so badly.

I’ve secretly wondered what it would feel like to be with a man who scared me a little because around him I felt out of control. Where I didn’t have to teach him. Where if I tried, he wouldn’t hear the lesson and would make me learn one instead.

Sex has always been a cerebral experience, but I don’t think I knew that until just now when my mind vanished and only my body was alive.

Do I look good?

Does this feel good?

Is he liking it?

Does he even care if I am?

Wait, do I look fat in this position?

Is doggy style diminishing my respectability since we’re not actually a couple?

Should I wait to go down on him because he’ll judge me, even though I like doing it and he wants me to?

All these stupid things swirling through my head always block me from enjoying sex.

That gorgeous kiss was visceral.

Primal.

There was nothing else in my mind except how much I wanted him.

And now I’m supposed to eat dinner?

Andy asks Tobias, “Where are we going?”

I glance to him scrolling on his phone as he says, “I’m looking it up right now. You ladies like seafood?” He meets my eyes and I can only nod my answer and face forward again in hopes that he can’t see how completely he’s undone me.

“Love it,” Sofia says as she side-eyeballs the ticket windows. “Don’t look now, Hannah. Our fan is staring.”

Jonas calls out to the kid, “Chester, you want to get some food?”

He perks up. “Yeah!”

Jonas says, “Good. Go get some,” and throws his arm up to hail a taxi, laughing.

Knowing my cousin well, I glance over and see her jaw tighten. She shakes her head like, oh hell no, and crosses to tell the kid in the booth, leaning toward his window and jogging her thumb behind her at Jonas. “Hey Chester. Fuck that guy. You be you and don’t for a second forget that you’re amazing. Find that spark in you and don’t blow it out. Got me?”

He slowly nods, a glimmer of pride replacing humiliation.

She rejoins us as Jonas waits by a bright yellow van, holding the door for her. “You’re out for good,” she says to him.

He stares after her and swallows hard. I pat his shoulder before I slide in. She’s staring out the window, annoyed now. She was hoping she’d be riding his body tonight and she’s completely turned off. He has no idea that her motorcycle club defends the weak. The Ciphers fight battles for those who can’t. She roots for the underdog and the abused, and she takes down those who hurt them. And while that kid needed to be told not to stare at my breasts like the lonely bastard that he is, he didn’t need his hopes at joining our party dashed by a man God made more attractive than he could ever hope to be.

Tobias tells Jonas, “Why don’t you sit up front until this cools off,” then climbs in. He and Andy dwarf the large backseat as they get comfortable with all the power of confident men.

Andy asks, “How ‘bout Boca Landing?”

“I was just gonna suggest it. Tell our guy.”

The cabbie calls back, “I’ll get you there in three minutes.”

“Nice,” Tobias mutters.

We all jolt as the cab lunges forward and never loses speed except for one stoplight that makes our driver twitch in his seat.

“I never got where you ladies were from,” Andy says.

“Atlanta,” I smile.

“Everywhere,” Sofia says, eyes still on the view. “I want to eat somewhere where we can see water.”

“It’s all taken care of,” Andy assures her.

The cab driver keeps his word and minutes later Sofia’s lost smile returns as we walk through an elegant restaurant tucked inside a hotel. The hostess greeted Tobias like she knows him and now she’s guiding the five of us to an open deck overlooking Lake Boca under a starry sky. She tells us the specials and that our server will be with us in just a moment, and then disappears.

Tobias has taken the seat to my right, Sofia to my left. He motions to the placemats and pretty candle. “You planned this?” The colors match my dress.

“I called ahead and told them what I was wearing.”

A sexy smile pulls at a corner of his lips as he leans back and spreads his legs a little. “Powerful lady.”

“You have no idea.”

“Yes, I do.”

Rendered speechless I raise my eyebrows a little and turn to the amazing view. Lights from the surrounding marina dance along gently rippling water, but their calming effect has made no impact on the adrenaline rush Tobias inspires. I’m glad we’re not alone because I might have crawled onto his lap right here in public had it been possible.

Jonas’s tension hasn’t abated in the slightest. He keeps looking at Sofia and hoping to be let out of jail but she won’t even look at him anymore. He tries to make up for it by ordering an expensive bottle of champagne. As soon as the server leaves, he said, “I’m sorry. I was trying to impress you.”

Tobias and Andy wait with their friend for my cousin’s reaction.

I’m dying to know what she’s going to say, too.

Sofia’s grey eyes shift away from the view to look at him. “Expensive booze doesn’t impress me. If you apologized to that kid, that would be very impressive.”

“He’s not here.”

She leans forward, suddenly impassioned. “You don’t know what the click is.” She snaps her fingers. “This! The thing someone does that turns your life to hell forever. That boy isn’t like you. He may never be like you. Strutting around, built like this, handsome, turning women’s heads. People like me wanting to fuck you. He knows he’s not that.” Jonas stares at her, because these compliments aren’t to make him feel good. She continues, “And to see what you have, that he’ll never know, that hurts him inside. To have you dig your thick fingers into that wound he’s got and toy with his hope, it’s life damaging. That treatment vibrates into places you’ll never see, understand or feel. It doesn’t just affect him. It affects the woman he was supposed to marry if he had confidence. The child he may never get to raise.”

“I was just fucking with him,” Jonas mutters, irritated now. “You’re fucking crazy.” He balls up the cloth napkin from his lap and tosses it on the table. “I’m outta here.”

Off he goes.

Sofia leans back, watching his exit as she mutters, “Mirrors are a bitch to look at when they’re unclean.”

My gaze flashes to Tobias to see how he’ll react. I’m hoping he handles this well because if not then she and I will find another place to eat, sexy kiss or no.

Family is family.

He and Andy are concentrating as the server arrives with a slender ice bucket and Jonas’s champagne.

Tobias waves a couple fingers, “Just four glasses now. The cream has risen.”

Sofia and I exchange a look.

Then Tobias mutters to himself, “He should have paid for this before his tail tucked between his legs.” He pauses. “I’ve got this. All this.” Glancing to Andy he adds, “except for Andy’s dinner.”

I laugh under my breath and Sofia breaks into a grin.

Pretending to be appalled Andy asks the server, “You hear this asshole?!”

A polite smile flashes on our server’s face, tinted with caution. Shimmering bubbles quickly fill our flute glasses before he makes a hasty exit.

I’m being watched. I know this. He’s been gazing at me while we waited for the man to leave. Glancing to my right I ask in a challenging way, “Why don’t you pay for Andy’s, too?”

“Because he wants to be my manager. Don’t want him to take that as a yes. My paying for his meals and all. He’s not on the payroll…yet.”

Laughter erupts from Andy as he jogs his thumb at his friend. “Can you believe this?” He turns to demand of Tobias, “How many people do you know you can trust in our business? How many? Huh? Tell me!”

I find myself staring at his lips as he licks them and admits, “You can’t trust anyone but yourself.”

Our eyes lock and hold.