Chapter 20

Joey sat on Lou’s lap, Lou still inside her. A man’s seed in her for the first time in nine years. The panic she should have felt refused to come. Because it was Lou, and it was right.

She sighed and wrapped her arms around his thick neck, feeling the harried rise and fall of his chest as they both regained their breath.

Amazing. Incandescent. Overwhelming.

Lou was so much more than a friend or even a lover. He gave and he gave, asking nothing in return. She blinked away tears, these not sad but filled with too much emotion. Her parents might reject her, might always find her lacking. But Lou… He made her feel worthy, like a real woman who had a brain in her head. And he inspired so much feeling. God, he continued to make sure she was protected. He’d been the one to want a condom, to offer her a hug and let her know he cared.

She loved him.

That should have scared her. She knew it would…after. For now, she’d let herself bask in his arms and affection.

So they sat, joined, even as he softened inside her. Neither moved, and she wanted to think he desired the connection to last, like she did.

Her cheek pressed to his shoulder, her head under his chin, she opened her mouth, and it all came tumbling out. “Lou? I have a son.”

He tensed.

Her brain continued to have no say over her heart taking charge, spilling everything. “I wanted to tell you before. But Brandon comes first. He’s eight, nearly nine, I should say. He’s the love of my life.” She let out a watery sigh. “I had him was I was very young, a baby having a baby.” She sighed, stroking Lou’s arm. “Everything revolves around my boy. My decisions, my actions. But with you, I wanted… I just wanted something for me.”

His arms tightened around her, but still he said nothing.

“I didn’t tell you about him because I’m protective. I mean, in the all the years since I had him, the few times, and I mean few times, I dated, he never came up in conversation. I don’t talk about my son with strangers. Then you and I grew closer. And I wanted to tell you. I almost did that evening your mom and sisters showed up.” She rubbed her cheek against him. He sighed and stroked her hair, and she felt more cared for, naked in his arms, than she ever had anywhere else. “I have a son. And I know you said you don’t want to have children. You raised your sisters your whole life, and you want a break. I get it. I really do.” She had to see his face.

She leaned back, still holding onto him, and was lost in the gorgeous eyes regarding her with so much intensity.

“Joey, I—”

She put a finger over his lips, not wanting to hear him reject her. Not today, after her parents had. “I’m trying to explain. I don’t want you because I need a father figure for my son. I’m his world, all he needs. He has a father, even if that man isn’t what I’d hoped he might be. But you, I’d like you to be just mine. Not for Brandon. Heck, you guys never even have to meet. But I’d like to keep seeing you, Lou. You make me feel good.” She swallowed, took his palm to her heart, and splayed his fingers. “In here.”

He looked from her eyes to his hand and back. “You are fucking lethal, you know that?” His accent was thick, his frown fierce. But never scary. Not to her. “I feel for you. A lot. And your son… I didn’t expect that. Hell, you barely look out of your teens.” He grimaced. “Okay, that came out as pervy considering how we’re sitting.”

She smiled.

“But you know what I mean. I feel for you, cariña. And I’m sorry you had such a bad day.” He paused. “You want to tell me about it?”

She waited, but that’s all he said. “That’s it? No big surprise about my son?” She narrowed her eyes. “You knew.”

He stroked her back. “I found out yesterday when Colin came to visit Del. Shocked the hell out of me.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” She kissed his chest. “I didn’t mean to lie. But he’s not someone I share with a man I’m, um, you know.”

He nodded.

“And I don’t bring men home to meet my son. I never have.”

“Good. That’s how it should be.” He looked sad for a moment, and her heart skipped. “I want you too much to let you go. I don’t want to be anyone else’s father, Joey. I’m not lying about that.”

“I know.” They were doomed before they could begin. But like Lou, she didn’t want to let go either.

“But why can’t we keep seeing each other? Just you and me on date nights? While it works, let’s keep it going. Eh?”

She nodded, relieved to still have Lou. “Good. But maybe we can start doing date night at my place.”

“At your parents’?” He looked skeptical.

“Ah, no.” She explained her earlier altercation, not mentioning the slap her dad had given her. The smack hadn’t done more than shock her, as much as it had shocked Andrew Reeves. But the anger and intent behind it, to belittle her, make her feel less, that wound still festered.

“Well, hell. That sucks.” He shook his head. “Your parents don’t get you, do they? So busy making judgments, they’re missing out on a wonderful daughter.”

“That’s why I keep you around. Well, and this.” She wriggled, then wished she hadn’t when he spilled out of her.

“Uh-oh. That’s a mess.”

She rushed to his bathroom and ran back with a hand towel. But Lou was already cleaning up and laughing at her.

If he was laughing, he couldn’t be too upset with her. Could he?

“You’re fast, Joey. And I sure do like to watch you leave.”

“Easy for you to say.” She blushed to her roots. “You’re half-dressed. I’m…not.”

“Yeah. We need to remedy that.” He dropped his pants and underwear, then walked pretty as you please up to her. He lifted her in his arms with ease, and she sighed into his hold. He kissed her as he walked them down the hallway to his room. “So we’re gonna do that again, right? You and me? No condom?” He settled her on the bed and blanketed her with his body. “You okay with that?”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “And no. Having Brandon the way I did freaked me out about sex, as you know from me being weird before.”

“Not so weird anymore though, are you?”

She stared up at him in surprise. “No. I’m not.”

He gave a look of satisfaction. “That’s because on some level you trust me.”

“I trust you on all levels, Lou,” she said quietly. “I’ve never talked to anyone the way I talk to you. Well, aside from Becky, but she doesn’t count.”

He lay over her, leaning up on his elbows while his lower body made contact with hers. Yet he just watched her, stroking back her hair, caressing with his gaze. “What about your first guy? The one who’s Brandon’s father?”

“Felix? No. He was sweet and just a boy. My first love, but not a lasting love.”

“Yeah,” he growled. “He was a dick who deserted you. I’d never do that.”

“Not even if you were seventeen and scared?”

He shook his head. “Nope. I’m stubborn. Would have stuck by you even while your mom swatted me with a broom.”

She paused. “A broom?”

He grimaced. “Something Abuela was fond of doing when I was just a kid.”

“I want to meet her.”

“I want you to meet her,” he said, surprising them both. “She’d like you.” He didn’t say any more, and she didn’t either, not wanting to ruin the sharing moment with reminders about their close—but not-too-close—relationship.

Joey threaded her fingers through his hair, watched his eyes close, his lashes fanning his cheeks, his full lips curling into a smile, and stupidly fell deeper into love.

Then Lou kissed her, and she lost herself in his embrace.

* * *

The one bright spot in her fight with her parents had been finding her independence.

Joey and Brandon bunked down with Becky for two nights on a “stay-cation,” which Brandon found thrilling, while Joey took some emergency time off, with Stef’s blessing, to hunt down housing. She’d found an apartment recently vacated, something Lou happened to mention. It was perfect. A two-bedroom unit right across the street from Seward Park. The entire place was six hundred fifty square feet, and the bedrooms had probably just been one room before a savvy homeowner had divided it, but it worked for her and her budget. Even better—Brandon would have his own space.

The apartment belonged in a fourplex, one large ranch house divided into smaller units. She was in a middle unit, with one tenant to her left. The places had soundproofed insulation and were clean and in a decent neighborhood. It would be more of a drive to get to work and Brandon’s school, but for the price, she’d make the trek without complaint.

Excited to be in her own place, she rode with Brandon in Becky’s car to the new apartment Friday evening. She planned to start moving them in the following day, just as soon as she picked up the rest of her things in the morning. Joey coughed, not pleased to find her throat scratchy. What with the changing weather, from cool to hot to freakin’ cold, stress, and her continued nonspeaking terms with her parents, she wasn’t surprised by her sickness.

“You sure you can get your stuff tomorrow alone? I can help,” Becky said under her breath as they pulled behind the building into the tiny parking lot.

Joey stifled a cough. “No. You’re doing plenty helping me watch Brandon.”

“I’m dropping him off at your friend Del’s for the weekend.” Becky raised a brow. “How exactly is that doing plenty?”

“You let us stay with you. That’s a ton, trust me.”

She glanced over her shoulder while Becky turned off the car. Brandon waved. “Hi, Mom! I like Ms. Becky’s car.”

“Yeah. Freedom 420 has character.” Becky had named her pot-green car some time ago. In the years before she and Joey had reconnected, during Becky’s experimental years, apparently.

Joey chuckled, which turned into a cough.

“Ew. Stay back, Brandon.” Becky cupped her hand over her nose and mouth. “Your mom is infected. I think she’s turning into a…zombie.”

Brandon gave an ear-piercing shriek, then darted out of the car and ran around and around in circles before flopping in the nearby grass.

“Yeah, that vanilla milk shake at the drive-through. Great idea, Becky.”

Becky grinned. “Hey, he’s hyper. Not sick.”

They all walked to the new apartment, waiting with anticipation as Joey dug out her new keys. The process had been surprisingly simple. Since Lou had mentioned her by name and since he knew someone who knew the landlord, the application had been approved in no time. An oddity, but she didn’t question it. Joey needed all the luck she could get.

She opened the door and flicked on the light, and they walked into the darkening living area. A neutral gray, with laminate wood floors and a teeny kitchen, it still boasted more than she was used to. Two small bedrooms, a bathroom, a living/dining area, and a small kitchen complete with a sink, microwave, refrigerator, and full-size stove.

“Mom! You can make cookies.”

“I know. So exciting.” She muffled more coughing, ignored her scratchy throat, and ran around pretending to be a plane with her son and best friend. Only one thing was missing to mar the perfection of the moment—Lou.

* * *

Lou spent his Saturday morning doing chores. His laundry, the lawn, some grocery shopping. He got enough to feed company. Like his family…or Joey, if she had time for him this weekend.

As he scrubbed down his already-clean counters, determined never to live like Sam, the garage’s number one slob, he wondered what she might be up to. They’d texted back and forth since Wednesday afternoon. He knew she’d moved into her new place or, at least, had begun the process. He’d started and stopped messaging her half a dozen times since, offering to help move her in. Then canceling before he hit send.

Her son would be there, and he didn’t want to send the wrong message. She’d said she had her girlfriend helping. Becky. A woman he knew he would like, because she sounded as sarcastic as most of Lou’s family. Speaking of which, Rosie kept asking when she’d get to talk to Joey again. She seemed fascinated that someone as pretty and feminine as Joey should have a boy’s name.

Then again, Joey worked with flowers, and Rosie loved anything floral. So perhaps the appeal lay in Joey’s work with petals.

He frowned, realizing he’d been thinking about the woman nonstop. Since admitting to himself how much he loved her, he couldn’t stop being miserable without her. And just why the hell had she been so eager to keep them dating but not sharing their lives? At the least, he’d expected her to beg him to reconsider, to give her kid a chance. But she’d wanted to keep Brandon apart from him. Because he’d told her he didn’t want to deal with kids, or because she didn’t feel as deeply for him as he did for her?

The constant second-guessing himself annoyed the shit out of him. He scrubbed harder, making those counters shine. As usual, Joey had impressed him. She’d put her son first, as it should be. She’d told him about standing up to her parents. And she’d even told him about Fuckhead Felix, the boy who’d done her wrong. The man who happened to be back in town wanting closure.

He would have been more bothered by the guy, except she’d barely given him a mention before going down on Lou Wednesday, before she left. Man, that woman could suck. She used her whole mouth, her tongue, lips, a hint of teeth.

He groaned, trying to will away his erection as he cleaned his oven burners.

His phone rang, distracting him, thank God. Sam’s number, but he’d pick up anyway. “Yo.”

“Hello.” The voice on the other end surprised, then delighted him.

“Ivy?” Sam’s girl.

“Hi, Lou.” Her sweet voice matched the pretty blond who’d stolen his friend’s heart. “I just wanted to let you know that my new neighbor is moving in.” She chuckled at something Sam must have said. Lou caught a deep voice but not much else. “She’s super nice—I remember her from Del’s wedding. And so pretty! Your new girlfriend, hmm?”

“Kind of.” He waited for her to add more, and when she didn’t, he had to pry details out of her. “So is she alone or what?”

Ivy laughed. “Sam was right. You’re not so smooth about Joey. She’s alone. She told me her son was at a soccer game, then going to stay with friends while she moved them in. She wants to surprise him with it all being done. And she doesn’t have much furniture, so it’ll probably be a quick move.”

“No furniture?” He frowned.

“Well, I saw sleeping bags, bags with clothes, and a few boxes. But that’s it. She said something about her furniture coming later. I don’t know.”

Lou didn’t like that. At all. But with her son gone, it wouldn’t hurt to pop in and see if she was okay. “Thanks, Ivy. I’ve gotta go.”

“Sure thing. Sam said not to be a slacker and—Sam, I can’t tell him that. Bye, Lou.” She disconnected, and Lou grinned, imagining what Sam might have said.

He jumped in his car, pleased to hear it purr, and drove over to Ivy’s, or rather, Joey’s place. A cute rancher converted into four apartments, the place had a surprising view of Lake Washington. He’d used Ivy to help Joey get the place, but he hadn’t realized how nice it was. Wow, she’d lucked out. A cute park across the street, close to a high school—hmm, maybe not so lucky after all.

He parked in front of the fourplex and walked to the unit right next to Ivy’s. He knocked and was surprised when the door opened right away.

Joey looked like crap. A stuffy nose, watery eyes, and frazzled hair. She wore sweats that looked a size too large for her. Then she sneezed. “Lou?”

“Oh man. You look awful.” He picked her up, holding her at a distance, and stepped inside. After putting her down and ignoring her sputtering, he closed the door behind him. He’d been to Ivy’s once, when Sam had been busting at the seams, proud of having a girlfriend who could cook. The pair had invited him to dinner, but it had been dark, and he hadn’t seen much of the outside. The unit was tiny but homey, and he’d had more fun teasing Sam and watching Ivy blush than should have been allowed.

“I like the place.” Mostly empty, with a few small boxes, plastic trash bags overflowing with clothing, and not much else. He walked around her into the small hallway, saw a single bathroom, a small bedroom for her, and a smaller one for the boy, he’d imagine. He thought she could maybe get a queen-size bed in her room if she had no other furniture but a nightstand. And no way more than a single bed would fit in the kid’s room.

Tight but cozy. Knowing Joey, she’d make it a home. But a neat home?

He turned and nearly tripped over her. “Oh, hey.”

“What are you doing here?” came out nasally due to her stuffed-up nose. He tried, he really tried, not to smile, but she was adorable, even sick and tired.

“I came to welcome you to the neighborhood.”

She frowned. “You don’t live here.”

“But Ivy does.”

“You know Ivy?” She didn’t look pleased.

He wanted to smile with glee. “Don’t be jealous, baby. That’s Sam’s girl.”

She coughed. “I knew that.” Then she scowled. “Stop smiling.”

“Uh-huh.” He looked around, seeing no furniture. “So. Where you going to sleep, princesa?”

“I have a sleeping bag. Brandon thinks it’s awesome. We’re camping in our new home.” She smiled, her joy apparent. “This is my first place away from my parents, Lou. I feel so grown up.” She laughed, hoarse but happy.

He hugged her tight, unable to stay away. “I’m glad for you. But you need furniture.”

“I’ll get it. I just need to go shopping for it.” She started coughing again.

“Yeah. No.”

“What?”

“I hear Brandon has plans today. Yes?”

“He’s staying with Del this weekend, actually. She’s doing me a favor while I get my place together.”

“Sure thing. You and that death rattle of a cough sound really busy.”

“What?”

“Exactly. What kind of friend would I be if I left you sick and hacking, all alone, in this place?”

“Wait. Lou. Where are we going?” she asked as he dragged her by the hand toward the front door.

“Keys?”

She reached in her pocket and showed them to him, then took them back. “Speak, señor.”

“Muy bien, mi corazón.”

She frowned. “Isn’t that the word for heart?”

“Yep. You’ve stolen my heart with those baggy sweats and red-rimmed eyes. Your beauty knows no bounds.”

She flushed. “Ass.”

He laughed and wrestled the keys out of her hands. “Come on. Let me help you get better. You don’t want to get Brandon sick, do you?”

Sneaky, because she caved without much prodding after that. He drove her back to his house, then ran her a bath. And he found he liked caring for her.

“I don’t have any clothes to change into but my dirty sweats,” she complained. Which he’d thought about while hustling her out of her place.

“You can wear something of mine.” Yes, that’s perfect. My woman, my house, my clothing on her hot little body.

Hours later, he realized he hadn’t been exaggerating about her hot little body. Poor Joey had a fever.

“I should go home,” she muttered, then sneezed. “I don’t want to get you sick too.”

He stared at her, all bundled up in his bed, and wondered how he’d manage to let her go. Because eventually, he’d have to.

Lou brushed her hair back from her sweaty forehead. “Just sleep. I’ll take care of you, amor.”

She blinked up at him and smiled. “You are so hot when you speak Spanish. Have I ever told you that?”

“No. Tell me again.”

She laughed. “Did you know Brandon’s learning Spanish in school? I told him my friend speaks it, so he’s going to teach me a few words.”

Lou didn’t know how he felt about her talking to her son about him. Bridging them all closer while Lou stubbornly resisted the idea of more kids. Yet Joey’s son was already a part of her. Her son had made her who she was today: a sweet, responsible, beautiful woman, inside and out.

“Come on, Lou. Say something else in Spanish,” she murmured, half-asleep.

So he did. “What am I going to do with you, sweetheart? You have my heart, my body, and I’m afraid my soul. So how do we make this work? Maybe I start bending a little, not so stiff to break when you have so much love to give, eh?”

“So pretty. I love how you talk.”

“Y te amo mucho.” He sighed. And I love you.