Chapter Eighteen
Sienna looked up from the suitcase she was packing the next morning, shocked to see her father standing in the doorway of her room in the inn.
“You were discharged?” she asked, pressing a hand to her chest.
Declan shrugged. “AMA.”
Sienna felt her mouth drop open. “Against medical advice? Dad, you can’t do that. You have to go back. Let me take you back.”
He inclined his head toward the window at the front of the house. “I’m paying the cabbie to wait. Johnny and me have been friends forever. He cleaned up his act a few years before me, but he understands what I’m trying to do here.”
“Which is?” she asked slowly.
“Make things right,” he answered, flashing one of his self-deprecating grins. The years might have been hard on her father but she could see the handsome man he must have been twenty years ago. It was no wonder her mother had found him irresistible. “Can I come in?”
“You need to be in the hospital.”
“They were going to release me eventually.” He lifted a brow. “This won’t take long, baby girl, but you have every right to send me away if that’s what you need to do. Lord knows I deserve it.”
Sienna closed her eyes for a moment. A part of her wanted to refuse to hear him out. She had a flight booked to Chicago that afternoon, even though she didn’t recognize the life she was returning to. Her mother had left Crimson last night. She’d tried to convince Sienna she’d sent the monthly checks for Jase’s benefit and not to bribe Declan to stay out of Sienna’s life. Sienna didn’t believe it, but where else did she have to go at this point?
At least she had a history in Chicago. A job and friends...although the connections she’d made during her short time in Crimson felt just as strong as the relationships she’d had for years.
“I’ve got five minutes,” she said, meeting her father’s slate blue gaze.
“I only need four,” he promised and stepped into the room.
He took a thick envelope from his back pocket and shoved it toward her. “Johnny ran me by the house before we came here,” he explained. “This is for you.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want your money.”
“Darlin’, I don’t have any money,” he said, then laughed. “Just open the envelope. Please.”
She took it, and they both ignored her trembling fingers.
“Why?” she whispered, glancing between her father and the thick stack of checks in the envelope. They were made out to Declan, written in her mother’s precise script. Each one was dated for the first of the month, and they went back over ten years.
“Your mother sent them even after Jase graduated high school.” He lifted one shoulder, let it drop like the weight on it was too much to sustain. “I was in pretty bad shape at that point, and she knew it. She sent a note—it was the first communication other than the checks I’d had with her since she left with you.”
Despite Sienna’s anger, the pain in her dad’s voice tore at her heart. Was it any wonder she was so messed up in her own life when she had the parents she did? Declan and Dana made dysfunction anything but fun. “You don’t have to share this with me.” She didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to feel anything for this man.
“She told me to use the money to get my act together,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. Sienna got the impression he was saying the words as much for his own benefit as hers. “Because if you ever came looking for me, she wanted me to be around to deserve a second chance with you.”
Sienna shook her head slowly. “I don’t believe it.” The checks felt like a flame in her hand. It burned through her skin, but she kept her fingers tight on the edge of the stack. She couldn’t let go just yet. “She didn’t want me to see you. She hated when I came here.”
“Can you blame her?” he asked. “I don’t. Of course your mom didn’t want you anywhere near me, but she still wanted what was best for you.”
“So why didn’t you cash the checks?” She held up the envelope. “What’s the point of saving them?”
“That note was a wake-up call.” He scratched at the stubble that covered his jaw and smiled again. “Not that I was ready to wake up just then, but it resonated with me. I didn’t want to owe getting clean to your mom. I wanted to earn my way back into your life on my own.”
“But you never contacted me,” she countered. “Even after you got sober.”
“Letting you go was my greatest regret,” he said quietly. “Don’t think I didn’t realize what kind of a father it made me, even if I could rationalize it at the time. I still don’t deserve to be a part of your life, Sienna.”
“Why did you let Jase stay?” It was the question that still plagued her. Why was her brother important enough to keep when she could be so easily discarded?
“He was different.” Declan shrugged. “It’s not logical, but the Crenshaws had been a family of boys for generations. Bad boys that turned into lousy men. I figured Jase could handle anything that came down the pike because it was in his blood. But you...” He sighed, his eyes drifting closed. “You were different. You were this bright, shiny thing in the cesspool of my life. A girl. The first one with the name Crenshaw in three generations. The thought of what could happen to you in this town...” He threw up his hands. “Your mom was right to take you away.”
“I still don’t believe that. Not the way she did it—letting me think you didn’t want me.” She took a breath, then added, “That you didn’t love me.”
“I always loved you,” he said, moving forward. “I always will, baby girl. Whether you’re in Crimson or Chicago or halfway around the world.”
She bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. She would not cry.
“Do what you want with those checks,” he said, covering her hand with his. “I never understood why I was saving them, but now I know it was to give them to you. You can hate me and refuse to speak to me but don’t ever doubt that I love you.” The corner of his mouth lifted. “In my own messed-up way.”
She choked back a sob. “Is there any other way to love someone?”
He pulled her in for a tight hug. “Not in this family,” he said.
After a moment, Sienna relaxed into him, and it felt like coming home.
* * *
Sienna watched the black Porsche tear into the ski resort’s empty parking lot. Dust flew up around the SUV as it came to a quick stop in front of where she sat on the gravel.
She sucked in a breath as a man rushed from the vehicle, slamming shut the driver’s side door and stalking toward her. Shep Bennett was indeed identical in looks to Cole, although Sienna would never confuse one brother for the other. She’d been shocked when Paige had told her Shep’s company had bought the ski resort and that he was personally under contract to purchase The Bumblebee.
Of course, she couldn’t call Cole to ask him about it because she wasn’t speaking to Cole—wasn’t sure if she’d ever speak to him again. She knew it didn’t make sense, but the fact that he hadn’t told her what he knew about her parents’ arrangement felt like a bigger betrayal than her family lying to her all those years. Although she knew in her heart—her broken heart—the lie was just an excuse.
“You’re trespassing, Sienna.” He pointed a finger at her. “Not to mention making me think my resort was on fire and scaring the hell out of me.”
Sienna looked up at the plume of smoke wafting into the air, then poked a stick at the smoldering logs in the metal fire pit she’d dragged from around the back of the lodge.
“You know who I am,” she said quietly.
Shep nodded. “My brother is pretty much tied in knots over you. I’ll admit I was curious, although he forgot to mention your pyromaniac tendencies. You know there’s a fire ban around here?”
“That’s why I’m in the parking lot, where there are no trees. It seemed safe.” She glanced at Shep and raised a brow. “Are you going to call the cops?”
Shep blew out a breath. “Sadly, you don’t look like a handcuffs type of girl.”
“You have no idea what kind of woman I am.”
“The kind my brother fell in love with, which says something about you.”
“That I was crazy,” Sienna muttered, “to get involved with him.”
“Well, yes,” Shep agreed, rubbing a hand over his jaw in a gesture so similar to Cole’s that it made her heart ache. He glanced back at the SUV, then crouched down next to her. “What’s with the fire?”
“Maybe I wanted to make s’mores.”
“Or burn down the forest.” He grabbed the stick from her hand. “Enough poking at it. You got your point across.”
“Back off, Smokey Bear,” she said under her breath.
Shep laughed. “I can see why Cole is so damn in love with you.”
She leveled a glare at him. “Your brother said he cares about me, which is not the same thing as love.”
“Not always silky smooth, that guy. I also heard he lied to you, although he wasn’t forthcoming with much in the way of details.”
“I’ve got the details right here.” Sienna plucked another check out of the envelope she held between her knees, wadded it into a ball, then tossed it into the fire. The edges caught first, burning bright orange, then turning to black as the paper disintegrated in the heat of the fire.
She’d come out to the ski resort because she wanted to be alone but didn’t trust her rental car on the dirt roads that led into Forest Service land. The mountains were so close here it felt like they were embracing the valley, and it surprised her that no one had bought the property sooner.
Shep straightened when a noise came from the SUV. He jogged around the driver’s side and Sienna heard a small cry, then the soft rumble of Shep making soothing sounds.
“Tell me you don’t have a baby in that Porsche,” she called as she stood.
“Rosie will actually be eighteen months next week,” Shep said as he reappeared, a child snuggled to his chest. “She’s officially a toddler.”
Sienna felt her mouth drop open. “Where did you get her?”
“Aisle seven of the local grocery,” Shep answered with a wink. “Near the canned peas.”
“Shep.”
He moved forward, smoothing fine, dark hair away from Rosie’s face. “Rosie is my daughter.”
“Does Cole know?”
Shep shook his head, his full lips thinning. “Not yet. Hell, I didn’t even know about her until recently.”
“You shouldn’t curse in front of a child,” Sienna said automatically.
“Thanks for the tip,” Shep said tightly. “I’ll add it to the list of things I need to learn about being a dad.” He cupped a hand on the back of Rosie’s head. “It’s a long damn list.”
“Shep.”
He groaned. “No cursing. Right.”
“Dada,” Rosie said in a tiny voice. She tipped up her face to look at Shep. “Damn, Dada.”
“I’m a bad daddy.” Shep dropped a kiss on the tip of the young girl’s nose. “I’ll do better next time.”
“That’s why no cursing,” Sienna told him, unable to hide her smile. “Hi, Rosie.”
Rosie shifted in her father’s arms, looked at Sienna, then buried her face in Shep’s shirtfront.
“She’s kind of shy,” Shep offered. “Plus she fell asleep in the car, and it takes her a while to wake up from a nap. Takes after her daddy in that respect. This is Sienna,” he explained to his daughter. “She’s a friend of your uncle Cole’s. I told you about him, remember? He looks like Daddy, only not as handsome.”
After a moment, Rosie turned to look at Sienna again, her gaze wary. The girl was adorable, with big brown eyes and dark hair that curled above her ears. She wore a wrinkled pink dress and polka-dot socks on her feet.
“Is it just the two of you?” Sienna asked.
“I brought a nanny with us from California, but she took off this morning.” Shep rolled his eyes. “Saw a bear on her run and freaked out.”
“She just left?”
“So fast it would make your head spin.”
“Jettie,” Rosie said with a sniff.
“Jessie had to go back to Los Angeles,” Shep said with a sigh. “Where there are way scarier things on the streets than bears if you ask me.”
“You need help.”
“No doubt,” Shep agreed. “But the first thing I need is for you to completely put out that fire.”
“Got it.” Sienna picked up the bucket of water she’d set to one side of the fire pit. “I was prepared. I really wasn’t trying to cause trouble.” She closed her eyes for a moment as the memory of Cole teasing about her being a troublemaker played through her mind.
Shep eyed the now empty envelope on the ground. “What exactly were you doing? I can’t imagine Cole writing love letters for you to burn.”
The wood sizzled as she dumped the bucket of water over it, a huge rush of smoke pouring into the air.
Rosie covered her ears and shouted, “’Moke, Daddy.”
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve got you.” Shep stepped back toward the SUV.
When the smoke cleared, Sienna turned to Cole’s brother. “Just getting rid of some old family drama.”
“Cole and I have plenty of that ourselves,” Shep told her. “Next time, drown your sorrows at a bar like he did. It’s a lot safer for all of us.”
She picked up the envelope and crumpled it into a ball as Shep opened the door and loaded Rosie into her car seat. “Cole had sorrows to drown?”
“Oh, yeah. He was a bad drunk and that never happens to my brother. I’m sure whatever he did to mess things up was bad, but I can guarantee he regrets it. I hope you give him another chance.” He shut the door and flashed a wide grin. “I have a feeling he’ll be a lot easier to deal with if you’re a part of his life. I know I would be.”
Sienna gave a small wave as Shep climbed in the Porsche and drove away. Her feelings were still jumbled enough that she wasn’t sure she wanted another chance with Cole. She could easily forgive him for not telling her about the checks. But she’d told him she loved him and he’d offered her nothing in return.
After spending most of her life wondering if she was even worthy of love, Sienna had finally realized she deserved so much more than she’d ever believed. And she was no longer willing to settle for someone who’d give her anything less.