Ten
Jarrett
This is bullshit.
I had her.
I had her back in my arms. Well… almost. But she was softening. And then she had to take my words and twist them around. Who gives her the fucking right? She’s the one who forced me out the door, told me it was nothing but sex, wouldn’t listen to a damn thing I had to say. Then she all but said she was ashamed of me and didn’t want anyone to know what happened between us. Now she has the audacity to be pissed at me when I asked for a do-over? Like leaving was my choice?
How did we get this far from where we once were? How did we go from best friends, to temporary lovers, to worst enemies? We need to talk about what happened that night nine years ago, when we were nothing but kids but shared a love that was so real that after all this time apart, even as I chase her crazy ass down the side of the lake, I know it’s as strong as ever. I’m not letting her shove me away again until we talk about this.
And that’s going to start right the fuck now.
I close the gap I’ve left between us and scoop her up. Even though she’s kicking and screaming like a lunatic, I feel much better from having her in my arms.
“Put me down!”
“Quit fighting me and just calm down.” I turn around and head back to the section of beach that Caleb and Honor own. The small dock and area with seating around a fire pit will give us a good place to talk privately.
The more I walk, carrying her bridal style, the more I feel the fight slipping from her body. There isn’t shit to this woman’s frame. Everything about her is small but fucking perfectly proportioned. Well, everything but her personality, which has always been bigger than this world. When she’s your friend, she’s the best friend you’ll ever have. When she’s pissed, she will light your ass on fire with just a look and chew you up and spit you out like an animal. And when she loves you… good God. I let the memories of our one and only night together fill my mind.
I make my way to the chair, and when I attempt to clear my head of thoughts from the past, I realize that she’s finally calmed down. I’m still afraid to let go of her, not trusting her to stay put, and sit down in the lounger with her right in my lap.
She tucks her chin in her chest and buries her face in my sternum, probably thinking that’s the only way I won’t be able to look at her.
“Are you ready to talk this out, baby?”
“Don’t call me that, please. And honestly? What is there left to talk about?” Her words vibrate my chest and send a zip of lightning right to my groin.
“I saw you for the first time in nine years about”—I look at my watch—“eight hours ago. Since then, you’ve knocked yourself out, told me you missed me—well, semi consciously—chewed me out, gave me hope, then ran away like your ass was on fire when I asked you for a second chance.”
“To screw.”
I grab her thick ebony hair by the strands and gently tug her back so I can see her face. “This is our problem right here, Gin. It’s not the feelings. I can see those in your changing eyes. It’s not the chemistry—it’s practically a fucking aura around us. It’s our shitty communication skills. We sucked at it back in school. Big time. And it appears we still suck at it now. Neither one of us willing to put it all on the table.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” The intenseness in her eyes mirrors my own. “I did put it all on the table, and then you left me.”
Finally we’re getting somewhere. But that somewhere has me confused. “I left you? How do you figure? You basically told me you were ashamed of what we did and all but pounded my broken heart into the pavement. Forcing me out the door.”
She studies me for a long time. The sun is setting, the reflection off the water making her hazel eyes look closer to blue. After an eternity, she responds. “I never thought you would really go.” Her eyelids flutter rapidly. “Well, I mean… I thought you would come back, or maybe fight harder. But you didn’t.”
Her whispered confession rocks the foundation I’ve been living on all these years.
I decide to let my guard down too. I either need to let it all out there, or get the fuck over her once and for all. “When you asked me never to tell anyone. That you didn’t want to be known as just another girl on my list. That it was only sex. Gin… I was about to tell you—”
She places a finger to my lips, stopping my words, then tucks her chin to her chest. “I said that because what we did was so much bigger to me than the casual hookup you were into. I asked you for something special. And you gave it to me. You gave me more than I could have ever dreamed of. But when your phone rang right after, and another girl was already waiting for you in the next town… I didn’t want it talked about like all the others you’d been with. I didn’t want it to sound cheap and fleeting. I also didn’t want you to know how badly that hurt me. So I gave you an easy out. And you took it.” Her cheeks are bathed with red splotches and her voice breaks on the end of her confession.
The breeze off the lake blows strands of hair across her face, almost making her look ethereal. And for the first time in nine years, it dawns on me that I may have unintentionally broken this woman’s heart. All the while believing she had done the same to me.
My chest aches over the shit we did to hurt one another. “Did you know I was in love with you?”
Her body gives a jolt, and I let go of her hair so I can readjust her to straddle my hips. My shirt that she’s wearing rides up her thighs, but still covers her modesty, as I take a chance and pull her hips as tight to mine as possible. My cock is throbbing after hearing her describe our night together. I know she can feel my erection pressed up against her center, but she doesn’t say a word. She also doesn’t move.
“I…” I clear my throat and try to get this out. I never imagined the first time I would tell this woman, or any woman, that I loved her would be to settle a fight. “I was head over heels in love with you, Gin.”
She gasps.
“You didn’t know?”
Her chin wobbles a little. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
I scratch my beard and try to think about how to put this. “Well, for the longest time, I was afraid that if I told you, and you didn’t feel the same, I would lose your friendship. After the way my mom had sorta let me leave with Dad, without so much as a care in the world, the idea of not having you as my steady made me too scared to take the risk.” I run my hands up and down her sides and give her slight rib cage a squeeze. “That night, when you finally asked me to be with you. You offered your body, your virginity to me. It meant more to me than you will ever know. Then after I finished making love to you, I knew I had to tell you, had to figure out a way to be together, even if there were miles and miles between us.”
“And then the phone call… followed by me pushing you away…” She pieces the puzzle together. “But why didn’t you just tell me? Why did you let me force you out the door?”
I wish I could go back and kick my own eighteen-year-old ass for being so damn proud. “Because you broke my fucking heart. It felt like you were already rejecting me. Like you got what you wanted and didn’t need me anymore.” I shrug. I don’t know how else to explain it. “And while we’re finally talking about it, why did you think there were so many other girls?” I was with her constantly when I was in town.
She looks a little sheepish. “I just assumed that when you went to the track every weekend, you were with other girls. You never acted like you wanted anything more than friendship with me, and you even came back with a bunch of hickies that one time. The rumor was that the rookie star was nothing but a playboy, and well, I guess I believed it. I was always too afraid to ask.”
“Why?” My pulse throbs angrily in my head as my mind absorbs what Gin thought was going on. If she only knew back then how wrong she was.
“Why? Because I too was afraid that it would hurt our friendship if you knew the way I felt about you.” Her eyes fill with unshed tears. “Until that night before you moved. When I finally decided to ask for something I knew I only ever wanted from you.”
I put my forehead on her chest and try to work out our majorly fucked-up misunderstanding. “You felt the same way about me?” The idea that all this time was lost has my gut burning with a combination of remorse and hope.
She wraps her arms around my head and cradles me deeper to her body. “I think I loved you the second I met you. The second you became my Juice.” She presses her lips to the top of my head. “And as much as I’ve wanted to hate you, I’ve missed you ever since. The hole you left behind never filled back in. Even if I’d never gotten to have another night wrapped in your arms, I would have survived. What I’ve missed though, more than anything in this world is my best friend. I’ve never fully recovered from losing that.”
I pull my head from her hold and cradle her face. “I know it’s been nine years and we have a shit-ton to work out, but, baby, please. Please tell me we can try to get us back.” I want to kiss her so damn bad, but I fight down the urge until I know she’s on board.
“We’re not the same people we were back then, Juice.”
Holy fuck. Just hearing her call me that has my blood traveling south and hope filling my head. “I know. I think we’re a whole lot smarter.” I wink. “And we sure as fuck should be better at communicating.”
My old Gin pops out from behind the clouds of sorrow and offers up a sly grin. “How do you know I’m not already taken?”
I pull her hips down so she can feel my pulsing erection. “Because if you were, you wouldn’t be straddling my hips right now.”
Her smile is infectious. She slides her hands across my short beard, tugging slightly, and I groan at the sensation.
Her face goes serious at the sound. Her eyes, round like saucers. “You scare the shit out of me.”
“Why?”
“Because you can break me.” Her eyes are clear, her determination fierce.
I mimic her stare. “I’m still broken, baby, but you have the power to put me back together.”
She searches my eyes for an eternity. “I’ve missed you, Juice.”
“I’ve missed you even more, Gin.”
I can’t hold off another second. My lips seek hers in the softest kiss, and even though we only had one night, all those years ago, the second we make contact, it’s like coming home. She exhales into my mouth, and it fuels my need for her. I deepen the kiss, my tongue seeking hers and finding stock. I want to touch her everywhere but don’t want to ruin this moment by rushing things, so I keep the slow, seductive dance of our tongues moving until her whimper rolls through me.
“Can I touch you? I need to get my hands on your skin.”
“Yes,” she groans into my mouth.
Thank God.
I start at her thighs that bracket my hips, slowly working my hands up and down the smooth skin. Taking my time and reacquainting myself with every part of her body. When I make my way to her hips, I pass over her lacy underwear, not wanting to stop there and get sidetracked just yet. Her back, her waist, I even circle her little belly button with my thumb before my palms travel up to find her small but perfect breasts.
The sun has finally set, and darkness is quickly coming upon us. I want to rip off her shirt, but the idea of anyone else seeing her has me consciously keeping my oversized shirt she’s wearing pulled down. Instead, I study her body like a blind man, using only my hands to see what I’ve been missing. I pull down the cups of her bra and rub the pads of my thumbs over her nipples, finding them already rock-hard. Her hips buck against me when I give them a slight pinch.
“Juice.” She pulls from my kiss and meets my eyes. Desperation shines in hers.
I slowly drag my hand to her stomach and stop when just my middle finger breaches the waistband of her panties. We’re going to discuss every fucking thing we do from here on out. No more stupid misunderstandings getting in our way. “Is this okay?”
“Yes.” She rocks her hips again.
I pull her shirt up around her waist and tie a knot in the back. It’s so quiet out here, I know we’ll hear if someone approaches. I push her back just a bit so I can watch as my hand slides down the front of her lace underwear. The second my fingertips hit her wet heat, I pant like a starved animal.
“Fuck, your body is as perfect as ever.” I dip a finger in and her tight channel clamps around me.
Her hips move down and roll, forcing my finger deeper. “Shit.”
I lean her back just a little more with my free hand, craving the visual of my finger pumping in and out of her. I add another, curling them in to hit the right spot and watch her ride my palm. She finds a rhythm of her own, coating my fingers in her perfect wet heat.
“Juice,” she moans, and I can tell she’s close. Just needs sent over the edge.
I press my thumb on her clit, circling the tight nub and send her flying into orbit. She grips my face and kisses me with so much force, I fight not to let go myself. I swallow down her cries as her body clamps down on my fingers, pulling them even farther into her.
This moment right here? With her body seeking pleasure from mine, the moonlight on her skin, and the reflection of the lake right behind her?
Finally puts my world back on its axis.