Chapter Four
The next day, Brenna sat in Killian's hospital room as he slept, leafing through the stack of information on Lorcan Todd, hoping she'd missed something about him and his daughter.
Her dragon spoke up. There's nothing else. Lorcan's mate died in childbirth, he raised his daughter alone, and he came into the leadership position almost ten years ago.
You forgot his time with the British Army and stint as head Protector.
Those are positive traits and not worth noting.
Brenna set down the papers. If only Teagan would give me leave to contact Bram again. That way, Lochguard might be able to set up some kind of meeting.
Yes, because healing the rift between Glenlough and Northcastle will be as simple as having one meeting, her beast said dryly.
Just stop. The first civil meeting between enemies is the most important.
Killian grunted and reached out a hand into the air above him. He murmured, "Stay."
Standing, she noticed that Killian's eyes were still closed. He had to be dreaming again.
Since his dreams could give her clues, she resisted smoothing his brow.
However, he relaxed on the bed and went limp with sleep again.
The nurse named Ruby rushed into the room and went to the computer terminal next to Killian's bed. His vital signs must've jumped for a second, sending a notification to the nurse on duty.
The nurse said without preamble, "Anything different this time?"
They had been keeping a log of his actions and utterances since the day before, when he'd fallen asleep and had yet to wake up. "He reached for something and said 'stay.'"
Typing the answer into the computer, Ruby said, "So that makes mirror, lake, and stay he's mentioned. That's not much to go on."
"No, but I have an idea." She leaned down to Killian's ear and whispered, "Take me with you, Killian. Where are you?"
His brows furrowed, but he didn't speak. Brenna repeated her sentences a few times before giving up with a sigh. "Well, I guess we'll just have to keep trying."
"Yes, well, Dr. O'Brien should be here any second to discuss Killian's lab results. Those will hopefully tell us more about what's going on."
She scrutinized the nurse's face, but Brenna couldn't discern any emotion. "You could warn me of what's to come."
Ruby shrugged. "That's not my job."
Since one of the key traits of a good dragon-shifter nurse was to stand up to any sort of personality, especially the dominant ones, Brenna didn't push.
Killian stirred again, and Brenna had another thought. She opened one of his eyelids to check his pupil. The upper half was entirely round, but the bottom half came to a point like the bottom half of an almond.
The nurse was already at her side. "I've never seen that before."
Killian's pupil returned to round and Brenna released his eyelid. "Do you think he's talking to his dragon in his dreams?"
"Maybe, but the shape of the pupil worries me. The closest I've seen to that in the past was when a dragon-shifter was dying."
Her dragon growled. He's not dying.
Maybe he is, dragon. We have no idea.
Regardless, Sid and Gregor need to hear about this.
Before Brenna could respond, Dr. O'Brien walked in. "Something happened, Ruby?"
The nurse must've hit the emergency call button. "It's better if I sketch it for you." The nurse sketched the oddly shaped pupil and continued, "When Killian stirred in his sleep, Brenna opened his eyelid and his pupil looked like this. Have you ever seen anything like this before?"
Dr. O'Brien grunted. "No, but that doesn't mean no one has." He moved his gaze to Brenna. "Your Dr. Sid and Dr. Innes have been laying the groundwork for a worldwide dragon doctor network to share information and research. How far along are they?"
"I'm not sure," Brenna answered.
"Then find out," Dr. O'Brien ordered.
She raised her brows. "Shouldn't you reach out to them, since you're the doctor?"
"I'm understaffed and still nursing the remaining few dragon-shifter visitors who came to judge the leadership trial and got injured in the process. I don't have time to make social calls."
She wanted to say such a network would benefit him professionally, but she held back. "Then how about you tell me Killian's lab results so that I have the full picture to share with the Stonefire doctors?"
He shrugged. "There's not a whole lot to tell. All of his readings are normal, with the exception of his dragon-shifter hormones. They were higher than usual."
"Wait, Killian still has dragon-shifter hormones, even without his dragon?"
Dr. O'Brien bobbed his head. "Of course. Dragon present or not, it's part of our biological functions. Much like how if a human has a hormone deficiency, they need to balance it to lead the best life. Dragon-shifter hormones are the same."
"I'm not a doctor, but would giving him a higher dosage maybe bring out his dragon?"
Dr. O'Brien didn't miss a beat. "More likely it would kill him."
"Oh."
"Any other questions? Otherwise, I have patients waiting."
Her dragon spoke up. Is it just me or has he been grumpier as of late?
To be honest, I have no idea. I've been too busy with everything else.
"Did you send the results to Stonefire?” Brenna asked. “Because I know Sid and Gregor will want the finer details."
"As soon as Teagan gives her approval, I will."
She nodded, and Dr. O'Brien and the nurse left the room.
Brenna had just sent a text message to Teagan, asking for a short meeting, when Killian's voice filled the room. "So, you're plotting to kill your husband already?"
~~~
No sooner had the rolling hills and glass-covered lake faded into nothingness when Killian heard Brenna ask, "I'm not a doctor, but would giving him a higher dosage maybe bring out his dragon?"
"More likely it would kill him."
He vaguely listened to the rest of the conversation, but he couldn't push past the fact that even Brenna wished to change him back into the man he'd been.
Rationally, he shouldn't be angry about it. She probably felt obligated to help those who had taken her in and accepted her. What better way to do it than to bring back a central figure to the clan?
And yet, he'd pieced together that the old version of himself had never looked twice in Brenna's direction.
Not that it should matter. Attraction didn't mean anything beyond possibly great sex.
Still, his former life seemed lonely and empty. He had a feeling that even if he regained his memories and/or his dragon, he couldn't go back to that existence of work and nothing else.
If only he could predict what his personality would be at the end of all this.
As the doors closed and silence fell, he pushed past his thoughts and focused on his urge to tease. "So, you're plotting to kill your husband already?"
He opened his eyelids as Brenna's warm hand touched his forehead. He tried not to read too much into the concern in her gaze as she said, "You're finally awake."
"As my eyes are open and I'm talking, that's the easiest explanation."
Sighing, she continued to stroke his skin. "You're making it quite difficult to be nice to you."
"Nice is boring. I much prefer fire and fury."
She raised her brows. "Did you really just say fire and fury?"
"I thought females liked poetic expressions. It sounds better than angry and screaming."
"If screaming is what you want, I could easily oblige."
The corner of his mouth ticked up. "It would be a waste, though. Because when your cheeks flush with anger, I want nothing but to pin you to the wall and kiss you."
"Killian," she admonished.
"What? I thought honesty was another thing women liked."
"Well, I'm going to be honest as well—the doctors don't know what's wrong with you and that's a bit worrisome."
"But I suspect you have several plans in the works?"
"Maybe."
"And?" he prompted.
"I'm still waiting for approval before I share any of them."
"Considering they’re about me, I have a right to know." He paused and added, "You've been forthright with me to date, Brenna. Don't start holding back now."
Emotions warred on her face, as she struggled with what to do. He felt a bit of an arse for questioning her loyalties, but if Brenna started tiptoeing around him, he wasn't sure what he'd do.
Without any ties, it might be easier to leave and start over somewhere else. Then he wouldn't have to worry about what would happen if his memories returned.
Of course, he could also end up unconscious in the middle of the woods and die of exposure.
Brenna sighed. "I can share some of the information, at least. You've been mumbling in your sleep and we've been trying to figure out what they mean."
He frowned. "I didn't think sleep-talking could be used as factual statements."
She rolled her eyes. "I never said that. But sometimes, people mutter useful things in their sleep. And your mutterings ended up being a clue after all. Because when I opened your eyelid, your pupil looked like this."
Flashing a piece of paper toward him, he frowned at the rounded top of the pupil and the bottom, which curved to a point. "What the hell does that mean?"
"I honestly don't know. But I'm working to find out. It's possible that it's related to your inner dragon."
"I think I'd notice if I had a second someone talking inside my head," he stated.
She shook her head. "There are other ways for a dragon to make its presence known. After all, until a dragon-shifter is about six or seven years old, the dragon lurks in the mind and doesn't always come forward."
"Wait, how is that even possible? Your mind hides something from you?"
Brenna huffed. "Look, I'm not a bloody doctor or research scientist. I'm just telling you what I know."
"Let's say you're right, and it's related to this mysterious inner dragon. Does that mean anything?"
"I'm not sure. I'm going to ask some friends of mine for help." Brenna folded the piece of paper and tucked it into a trouser pocket. After quickly checking her mobile phone, she spoke again. "I have a meeting with Teagan soon. After that, I can share more details with you."
"So in the meantime, I just lie here and stare at the ceiling?" he drawled.
Tilting her head, she said, "Instead of complaining, how about making yourself useful?"
"How, exactly? The only thing I was good at since waking up without a memory is lifting heavy objects and kissing you. Right now, I'm unable to do either."
"Are you this infuriating on purpose?"
He shrugged one shoulder. "This is just what comes naturally."
"So, bastard mode is your default. Good to know." Leaning down, she never broke her gaze. "How about you stop belittling yourself and see what you're made of? Lost memory or no, you're intelligent and can figure things out. Use that to help me and your sister."
"How? I don't exactly have top-level clearance."
"Maybe not, but not everything is classified. I have an idea." She picked up a tablet from the nearby side table, tapped it a few times, and turned it toward him. "Let's see how well your memory works for non-personal things. We're trying to figure out how to tighten security against enemies, both living and machine, from ground intrusions as well as ones from the air. See if any weak points jump out at you and we can discuss it when I get back."
He raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you afraid I'll use this information to escape?"
Studying him, she said, "I don't think you will. One, you'll never kiss me again and you want to, as you keep banging on about. And two, I don't think you'd escape without a fully thought-out plan. And in that case, showing you these schematics would make little difference as you'd probably just scout out the perimeter on your own."
Out of curiosity, he took the tablet and glanced at the image. He immediately saw a weak spot.
"So," Brenna prompted, "will you try and see what you come up with?"
"I have nothing better to do," he muttered.
"Good. That's Killian-speak for you're intrigued."
Meeting her eyes again, he frowned. "Since when can you interpret me so well?"
"I've been watching you for months, Killian. Some things about you are the same, even without your dragon or memories."
Killian should avoid the subject, as Brenna's answer could hurt him. But he blurted, "Which version of me is better, now or then?"
"Does it matter?" She moved until her face was close enough her breath danced across his lips. "I mated you as you are."
Her words stirred something inside him. Laying the tablet down, he raised a hand and cupped her cheek. Brenna's pupils changed to slits and back. "What's your dragon saying?"
"I'm not sure I want to tell you."
He stroked her skin. "Honesty, remember?"
For a second, he thought she wouldn't answer. Then she smiled and said, "She says that you may be recovering, but if we straddled you and did most of the work, it would be an easy solution."
Blood rushed to his cock at the image of Brenna's body over his, her breasts bouncing as he guided her hips up and down.
He growled. "I would say that's a brilliant idea, except I don't want our first time to be like that."
"So now you're a romantic?"
"Oh, it's not romantic so much as I want you under me and at my mercy." Brenna's breath hitched. "And I see you like that idea." He released her cheek and motioned toward the tablet. "I'll work on this. I need to keep on your good side, after all."
Moving back, Brenna rolled her eyes. "And here I thought you might be nice to me for longer than thirty seconds."
He grinned. "You mated me as I am, remember."
"I'm going to regret that statement, aren't I?"
"You'll just have to wait and see. A little mystery makes for an interesting marriage, don't you agree?"
"Mating. Marriage is the human term."
"You're changing the subject."
"Since our mating isn't traditional, I can't comment." She took another few steps toward the door. "I need to meet with Teagan. I'll check back after. See if you can stay awake, old man."
She dashed out the door before Killian could reply.
Early thirties wasn't old, but Killian had more important things to worry about than the ten-plus-year age difference between him and Brenna. All he needed was to woo her and coax her into bed. Then she'd see how virile he could be.
But he would have time for that later. For the moment, he glanced down at the schematics on the tablet. Just looking at them brought instant scenarios into his head, almost if he were running through what could happen in twenty different situations.
While he was probably imagining it, Killian sensed he'd done something similar many times in the past. Whether it would help him in the long run, with regard to his memory, he had no idea. All he thought about was Brenna smiling at him for helping and proving he still had worth to both her and the clan.
He blinked. He wasn't a fucking dog, out to please his master.
No, he'd do it for himself. Killian might need to start over at some point, and the better he understood his skills and limits, the easier it would be to pitch himself to a future employer.