I was in the kitchen at the farmhouse, trying to figure out what I might be able to make for dinner. Stone had left earlier, saying something about having to handle “club business”—whatever that meant.
For the first few hours, I had focused on applying for various nursing positions. Unless I had no choice, I wanted to stay in or around Hoffman. I had thought I might be willing to move wherever the right opportunity presented itself, but Stone and I were starting something that I had to believe would be worth staying for, and Stone had roots here. Besides, I liked Hoffman. It was why I settled in town in the first place.
I’d been volunteering at the hospital since I started my nursing program, and the rumors I’d heard were that at least two of the neonatal intensive care nurses were possibly moving away any time. If the whispers could be believed, that might mean there would be an opportunity to get the job I wanted right here in town.
If not, I’d figure out what I wanted to do when the time came.
While I stood there, staring unseeing at the pantry like the right combination of ingredients might magically come to life and dance around to give me some sort of direction, I heard the front door open.
Before the little feet running echoed in the hall, I figured it was Kate and Owen. One thing that could be said of all the bikers around was that you always knew when one of them arrived. You could hear those bikes coming up the drive every time.
I’d gotten to know both Kate and her son well over the last couple weeks. Owen was Daz’s nephew. Kate had been married to Daz’s brother until he passed away in an accident a couple years ago. She didn’t talk about him. In fact, if the conversation came up, she usually tied herself in knots to avoid it. However, I could read how much she had loved him—still loved him. It was obvious in the way that air of mourning still hung around her, even if she lifted the shroud around her son.
“Evie!” Owen greeted with a shout as he ran into the kitchen.
“What’s up, handsome?”
“I gotta pee!” Then, just as quick as he came in, he raced out.
I laughed, something I often did around Owen. I didn’t know what Owen’s father had been like, but he certainly took after his uncle. That little man was all personality.
Kate came in slower behind her son. When she did, I thought again that she really was a beautiful woman. She had perfect skin with a dusting of very light freckles that only made her more interesting looking. Those looks, though, only seemed to put her depression in harsher light. Every time I looked at her, I just found myself wondering how stunning she would be with a real, genuine smile on her face. I could imagine that her husband lived to see that. I hoped he’d gotten to see it often, and that someday, when she was ready, we all might get the chance to see it from her regularly.
“Hi, Evie,” she greeted, even her tone was somehow flat.
“Hi,” I greeted. “I was just figuring out dinner for me and Stone. Do you and Owen want to join us? I can make more of…whatever I end up making.”
She gave me a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, though it was still genuine. “Daz called Avery at the bakery. He wants to take us all out tonight, so we’re good. Thank you.”
Kate worked at Sugar’s Dream, selling baked goods while Avery whipped them up in the back. I hadn’t been over to check it out yet, but I needed to. Stone had been right about the baked goods being around regularly because of Avery, and as of yet, I hadn’t had a single thing that wasn’t absolutely delicious.
“That’ll be fun,” I said. I wasn’t sure how going out with Daz and Owen could not be.
“Yeah,” she agreed. “I think I’m going to lie down for a bit before that. Long shift. You know how it is.”
I did, and I imagined they felt even longer for her. “Totally. Tell Owen he’s free to come out here if he doesn’t want to play in his room. I can keep an eye on him.”
“Thanks, hun. I’m sure he’ll love that,” she responded before heading out.
I watched her go, struggling as I often did with the urge to try to fix her. It was the same instinct I’d always had that had led me to nursing. Unfortunately, I knew I didn’t have the tools to repair what was hurting in her. I wasn’t a therapist, and I certainly couldn’t bring her husband back—though I wished I could for all of them.
Resigning to the reality of that always sucked, but I made myself do so and get back to the task at hand. Probably ten minutes later, I was pulling out everything to make roasted chicken and potatoes when that now familiar sound of motorcycle engines—if I was getting the hang of this like I thought I was, it was probably two of them—coming up the lane to the house.
Stone.
Just knowing he was back had a smile forming. It was probably a good indicator that I was in way over my head, but I wasn’t going to focus on that. I was just going to ride the wave of happiness for as long as I could.
When Stone and Doc came through the kitchen, though, I realized that wave might be breaking on the harsh, hard shore sooner than I expected.
Stone’s face was tight, his expression dark. Doc didn’t look quite so upset, more along the lines of tired than anything.
My throat tightened a bit with anxiety. I spoke through it anyway.
“Hey, Doc.” He gave me a small, forced smile in return as I moved close to Stone. “Hi, honey.”
Stone reached out and grabbed my neck to kiss my head like he often did with a murmured, “Bunny.” That was good. The fact that he released me right away and walked past me wasn’t. Stone was affectionate, I already knew in the short time we’d been together. He liked to demand a kiss or ask me about my day—or both. The quiet and distance were uncharacteristic and a bit alarming.
I looked to Doc in question, but he shook his head in a resigned way.
Unsure what to do, I watched as Stone got out a glass, then a bottle from the cabinet that housed all the liquor. I didn’t get a good look at the bottle, but when he tipped his head back and drained the glass, I caught a glimpse of amber liquid disappearing fast.
Drinking didn’t concern me. Stone was a grown man and a biker to boot. He hadn’t shared that he was a recovering alcoholic, nor did he exhibit signs of being one currently. What was a tad worrisome was the way he immediately put his glass back down on the counter, filled and drained it again, then filled it a third time before walking out of the kitchen without a word.
I watched the place where he’d disappeared for a long moment before Doc cleared his throat and my eyes swung to him.
“That shit’s not about you. Gotta know that, girl. That’s just a man who had a long, frustrating as fuck day and needs to unwind,” he explained.
That made me feel marginally better but still helpless. “What can I do?”
“Best advice I got is to just be there for him. Can’t know if he’d want you close or if he needs that room. You gotta figure that out for yourself. Trust your gut there. Not my place to share any of what’s eating him, and he might not feel he can either. Not to be rude, gorgeous, but that’s just the way of it. Club shit sometimes can’t come home. With him being the pres, any club shit there is, it involves him, so you need to be prepared for that.”
I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. It couldn’t be said that I was thrilled about the idea of Stone keeping a lot from me, but that was at least in part because I was concerned about situations like the one we were apparently in the middle of, where he might need a way to get those things off his chest and not be able to. I could also understand it in a way. I wasn’t a member of the club, even if I was involved with one. Perhaps some things involving the brothers simply weren’t my business.
It would just take time with Stone to figure out if we could find a balance that worked.
“Okay.”
Doc grinned then, and it was the real deal. “Gotta say, there was a time I’d have thought a sweet girl like you wasn’t cut out for our world. Glad to see I was very wrong there. You got the chops to take that, process it, and come to whatever acceptance you just did, then you got it in you to stand by him in the way he’ll need.”
I didn’t withhold my responding grin at his assessment. I wanted to be that, so I sincerely hoped he wasn’t wrong.
“Gonna leave you to see to him in whatever way you see fit. But just to say,” he looked around at the food I had out before focusing on me again, “you’re cooking and feel like makin’ some extra to fill an extra mouth, you know where to find me.” With a wink, he headed out as well.
Trust your gut.
When he was gone, I didn’t let myself overthink it. I followed his advice, which led me through the living room, and out the back deck where I could see Stone leaning against the railing and facing out into the yard. Without a word, I walked up behind him and hugged him. I laid my head against his back, right atop the Savage Disciples patch. The irony of that patch being between us wasn’t lost on me.
Stone brought a hand to where both of mine were at his cut. I held my breath, afraid he was going to push me off, but he just rested his hand on both of mine.
“Not sure I can talk about this,” he said after a few minutes of us standing just like that. “Not right now, anyway. Not when I haven’t had a chance to bring the situation back to the brothers yet.”
“Okay.”
“I won’t lie to you. Not ever. But there are things I won’t be able to tell you. When that happens, I’ll be honest about that, too.”
Just like Doc said. “All right, honey.”
“You gonna be able to hack that?”
“Are you going to talk to one of the brothers if there’s something you can’t share with me that’s weighing on you?” I asked in return.
I heard him set his glass down on the wood railing, then he was pulling me by my wrist until I was in front of him, leaning my back to that edge.
“I’m laying that shit out about having to keep things from you, and you’re worried about me?”
I cupped his cheek, his beard tickling my palm. “You’ve got a lot of burdens caring for the club. I just don’t want them to overwhelm you.”
He turned his head to kiss my hand, resting his lips there for several heartbeats before turning back to say, “I get to keep coming home to your sweetness, bunny, I’m pretty sure you won’t ever have to worry about that shit.”
I smiled then. I wasn’t sure what I had done, but Doc was right. Going with my gut had definitely worked.
With any luck, he was right about it all, and I could be exactly the woman Stone, the man and the president, needed.