Addison beat me. I didn’t let her win. Plain and simple, she caught more fish than I did.

The culprit? I can’t seem to keep my eyes off her long enough to pay attention to any yanking at my pole.

I’ve got it bad for her. Hook. Line. And sinker.

The way her warm blue eyes glint under the light of the afternoon sky, it’s like a beacon set with a secret signal only my eyes can see. Her beautiful blues draw me to her in such a way I can’t help but get trapped inside them. Then there’s her smile and the way her pink lips text-wrap her intelligent words. It all turns her descriptions of the perfect fishing hole into the most charming melody my ears have ever heard. Listening to her, my body shakes with need. Every nerve ending I have tingles with a primal desire to pull her close and reacquaint myself with every square inch of her skin.

Four hours in a boat with Addison Hunt feels incredible. Not taking her right there on the deck is the most challenging thing I’ve ever done, which includes rehab for an injury I can’t seem to overcome.

But I love this woman. More and more every day. If I can’t tell her about the worst day of my life, then who can I tell?

Mostly, I don’t want her thinking I’m staying in Willow Run because there’s nothing better in my life to return to, or that I’m only making good on what a father should do for his unborn baby. My return isn’t about manning up. It has nothing to do with our baby. No, when you can’t get a woman out of your head, there’s obviously a lot more going on.

For weeks now, I’ve been trying to show her how I feel about having her in my life. Despite my efforts, she still seems determined to handle this pregnancy all on her own. She often reminds me she doesn’t expect a thing from me. But the more time I spend with her, her eyes tell me a different story.

Before Addison, I struck out women almost as regularly as I sent a batter back to gather splinters on the bench. Now, there’s only one woman I want in my life. She just happens to be carrying my baby.

“Ben.” Addison’s gentle tone floats in from the kitchen, just as I turn the key to light the gas fireplace Mike’s wife had converted from wood burning. According to Addison, the inside of the house has been gutted and undergone some major updates. Now the house looks more like an upscale condo than a vacation house at a lake out in the middle of nowhere. “I’m almost done cutting up the fruit. Want anything else?”

You. I want you.

And how she doesn’t know this by now must completely be my fault. I have it in my mind that as soon as she’s plopped herself down on the couch next to me, I’m going to tell all. Gearing up, I glance over at the manila envelope sitting on the side table against the far wall. For some reason, I feel the need to give our relationship more time, especially before approaching Addison with the paperwork inside. So maybe I won’t just yet be telling her everything. But I’ll do it soon, because even Mrs. Tinley knows how much the important piece of paper is a constant thought in the forefront of my mind.

“Ben,” Addison says again.

I turn the key to lower the flames. “Sorry, babe. I’m not quite used to this fireplace. Give me a full winter, and I’ll have the lighting process down.”

She lowers a square tray to a wooden coffee table centered within an oversized U-shaped sectional couch. While the sofa is large enough to accommodate any and every extracurricular activity I can think of, because the coffee table is in front of the fireplace, in my opinion, it’s got to go. With the swell of Addison’s breasts peeking out over the neckline of her cotton top, I want to cuddle with her on the floor and keep her tucked in beside me, right here in front of a warm fire, lying next to me all night.

Straightening her spine, she stands and asks me to repeat what I just said. When I do, her blue eyes disappear behind thick lashes as she begins to rapidly blink.

“Did you honestly think I’d leave?” I ask, standing from my spot in front of the fireplace to pull her into my arms. “There’s no way I can leave you, Addison. Not now.” Not ever.

She stutters as she works to push her words past her lips. “I…I…guess I just wasn’t sure what your plan was. It’s not like I’ve asked or anything.” She pauses, taking a moment to let her eyes dart around. It’s as if she’s arguing with herself about whether she should or shouldn’t ask the specific question she has on her mind.

“No. You haven’t asked. And it’s not like I’ve mentioned it either.”

“Well, I don’t know much about baseball,” she admits and runs her soft touch along my arms. The action makes my heart rate zip into overdrive. “I guess I assumed you had commitments to get back to.”

I run my hands down her hair and cup her face. “Sweetheart, I think it’s time we have our long talk.”

I’m ready. Addison is everything I want.

She follows me to the couch. A mixture of uncertainty and anticipation swirls deep within her eyes. “Ben, you know I don’t expect anything. None of this is your fault, and—”

I lift a rigid finger to her lips and prevent her from saying any more. I know she’s only saying this to protect herself from getting hurt. But I feel the truth of the matter each time she forces those very same words toward me and lets her gaze fall off to the side. She doesn’t mean what she’s saying. I’m confident I know how she feels. I’d go so far as to bet my millions she wants me in her life as much as I want her in mine.

“This is no one’s fault, Addy. This is all meant to be. There’s not a second that goes by where I don’t smile at the thought of the baby growing inside you. It’s our baby. We’re in this together. I only hope you want me in your life as much as I want you in mine.”

“Ben.” She lets out an exasperated breath, dropping her shoulders as if in disbelief of what I’ve said.

I scoot her closer, being gentle while draping her legs over mine. “You need to believe me when I say in the last few years I’ve been through some of the worst days of my life. But as terrible as things turned out after those days, the most amazing day of my life occurred.”

She tilts her head and scrunches her brows, the expression on her face moving first through confusion and finishing with a look of sorrow. At my side, she listens as I tell her about the night on the mound. A tear trickles down her cheek when I get to the part about being three outs away from throwing a perfect game. And up until the first pitch in the ninth inning I’d been hitting all my spots, pitching toward yet another momentous occasion in my life.

But when you least expect it, life has a way of throwing its own curveball. You can either stand there and take it, or let it take you down.

It sucks to miss your mark on the one pitch you’ve always believed in the most. But as I watched the ball float in like a batting practice toss, that’s exactly what happened. I missed, and miserably I should add. And instead of the ball bending in the mind-blowing way that brings a batter to his knees, I took a line drive to the side of my skull. The impact left a sizeable divot and cracked several other bones in my face.

I can tell you getting hit in the head with a baseball traveling at well over a hundred miles an hour tips the pain scale numbers right off the charts. But in the end, it’s the aftermath that proved to be the most debilitating part. I’ve still got the arm. I still hit the numbers. And I still find my spots. Yet not even round after round of hypnotherapy can remove the memories of that night from my mind.

But now my dreams are filled with scenes of Addison and me together as a family.

I wipe more of her tears away and place a loving kiss on her forehead. “I’ve tried everything, Addy. As soon as a batter gets in the box, I can’t find the strike zone any better than I can catch a fish with you in the boat.”

And if I thought I was scared getting back on the mound, I’m more scared now than ever. Worse than knowing you’re being released from a team that’s become your only family, I don’t want Addison pushing me out of her life and sending me packing. Now she’s my life. And has been since the day we spent together in the woods.

She sniffles while dabbing at some puffiness set in around her eyes. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, Ben. I wish there was something I could do to make everything better.”

She’s so dang beautiful, and selfless, and I can’t stop myself from blurting my next words. “Marry me, Addison. Let me take care of you. I don’t want to miss out on another moment of your life.”

Addison’s shoulders deflate like I’ve just stabbed her in the back. I don’t have a clue what it was I said that made her lower her head and let out such a heavy sigh. Or why she goes and does what I should be doing and gives herself a hug.

“Ben, I don’t want you marrying me because I’m having your baby.” She lifts her chin.

Her pained expression and the heavy sadness in her eyes cut through me as though the knife from her back just sliced through the middle of my stomach.

“You should marry the woman you love.”

“But I will be,” I blurt.

“That’s just it. I don’t want you assuming you’ll one day fall in love with me. That’s ridiculous; it never works. And it’s a terrible thing to put a child through.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.” I thread my hands through her hair. My gaze hasn’t moved an inch; it’s completely locked on hers. “I’m saying I already love you. I came back here for you, Addison. I just didn’t expect to find you pregnant. But a baby doesn’t complicate my feelings. I’ve been thinking about you all summer long. Having our baby now just means I don’t have as much time to have you to myself. That’s all.”

“After two months, you’ve decided you love me,” she says as more of a statement than a question. It’s as if she’s refusing to let herself believe.

“Eight months,” I correct her. “It’s been over eight months since I first laid eyes on you. Eight months since I started caring about something else more than I ever cared about baseball. And that’s you, Addison. You’re the most amazing thing that’s ever happened in my life. Please, I need you to believe me. I really do want this.”

From the glimmer of hope sparkling in her eyes I can tell she wants this too. But then as quickly as I see it, she blinks, completely washing away the emotion.

She tosses me a smile that wavers, then softly shakes her head. “This isn’t how I ever imagined being proposed to.”

I kick myself for not thinking about this very thing beforehand. Of course she deserves a better proposal than the one I just did. Chastising myself for my lame attempt, I silently vow to prove my love to her and start by pulling her into my arms and lifting her body up and over my lap so we’re face to face.

“Please don’t say anything just yet. Addison, you need to believe me. When I say I’m not going anywhere, I mean it.”

She dips her face into the crook of my neck, almost nuzzling her lips in against my beard, and cups a gentle hold around my head before whispering into my ear, “I believe you. And I’m glad you’re planning on staying.”

It’s all she says, but for now, it’s enough. The way she tucks her body in against me reinforces what I’ve seen all along in her actions. Add in the strength behind the way she holds on to me with the expression she slips onto her face when she doesn’t realize I’m looking, and I know she needs more time, and more proof that I’m not going anywhere because I love her more than anything.