Chapter Sixteen
Channing
I still couldn’t believe that after seeing the fury and rage in my father and brother’s eyes, Kemara’s suggestion was to go to my parents’ house and meet with them. After what happened with the lodge, I thought she would want to stay as far away from my family, and possibly me, as possible. It just went to show how strong of a woman Kemara was. It made me love her all that much more, even though I questioned her choice of meeting my parents.
I needed to talk to my mom in person and get her to agree to meet Kemara, so I could prove to her why I loved Kemara and how special she truly was to me. I had to make sure my father wasn’t home first. I called her, and she assured me he wouldn’t be around. I knocked on the house door that same morning.
She opened the door and welcomed me in with a warm smile and a hot cup of coffee. “Thank you, Mom,” I said, as I grabbed the mug from her.
She took a seat on the couch, and at first things were extremely uncomfortable. I felt awkward. She looked at me in a way that told me she already knew why I was there and I needn’t say a word. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.
“Just talk to me,” she said, comforting me. I felt like a little boy again, needing to tell my mother something that I was struggling with. “You know you can talk to me about anything, Channing.”
I smiled. “I’m sure you’ve heard what’s been going on,” I said.
“Well, I didn’t hear your side of things, so I haven’t heard nearly enough,” she responded. It was a great response.
I took a sip of my coffee and placed it down on the coaster, then sat back in the chair. “You know I didn’t go out looking for someone to love, especially someone that would be the last person Dad would want me to fall for.”
She nodded slightly. “So…it’s love?”
As she asked the question, there was a small smile dancing on the corners of her lips. She didn’t actually smile, but I knew my mother. It was there waiting in the wings for the right moment.
“She gets me, Mom. She’s the best part of me, and yes…it’s love. And having her walk in and see where I come from, it killed me. I hate that she saw that and my heart broke for her. I knew then that this was real. The Neo-Nazi’s aren’t just a group of men loving their race. It’s an affront to the very woman I love. I was going to leave the group for her, but I didn’t get the chance to do that before it blew up.” I shook my head. “Dad wouldn’t understand that. Damon definitely doesn’t understand that, but Mom…they don’t know her.” She listened in silence as I spilled my heart out. “That’s why I’m here. I want you to meet her, and I want you to see the woman that I see in Kemara.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.
After several minutes of silence in the living room, she spoke. “Your father and brother are both stubborn, and you and I know that. I have always known that you were the one with the kind heart, but son this is going to be a hard sell on your father and your crazy brother.”
“Mom, I’m not trying to reach them. I’m done with them. It’s Kemara that wants to meet my family and I’d love it if you would at least talk to her once.”
“Well Son, you can’t help who you fall in love with.” She finally let her loving smile show up in the room and brighten my day. “I would love to meet her.”
I reached out and touched my mom’s hand. “Thank you, Mom,” I said.
We finished the coffee, with me thrilled that after lunch I would bring Kemara to meet her. I had no doubt that my mother would see the woman I fell in love with, and she would help us out with trying to smooth things over with my father. I wasn’t optimistic about him dancing at our wedding, whenever I convinced her to marry me. I just wanted to make sure he didn’t go off the rails and do something evil, like harass Kemara.
I left the house feeling better about her wanting to meet any part of my family. I immediately went back to her place. I didn’t call her. I wanted to keep it a surprise.
When I got there and stood at her door, she definitely looked surprised.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Sick of me already?” I asked, laughing.
She snickered. “No, I was just asking.” She cupped my face in her palms and pulled me to her. We kissed in the door opening. When we parted, she tilted her head. “I didn’t expect to see you back here so soon.”
“Well, you said that you want to meet my mother. There’s no time like the present.”
Her jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”
I nodded. “She wants to meet you and I think now would work.” I reached out and grabbed her hands. For the first time, I saw a bit of nerves on her face. I moved closer to her. “You’ve got this. She’ll love you, almost as much as I do.”
She blushed and slowly nodded. “Okay, then let’s go,” she said. She grabbed her purse and we headed out of her apartment.
The ride to my parents’ house was spent sitting close to one another, holding each other’s hand, and talking quietly about my earlier visit with her. When we got to the house, Kemara wasn’t as nervous as before.
I got out of the truck and went around to the other side to open Kemara’s door. I gave her a reassuring kiss as we stood outside the truck. I took her hand and we went up to the front door.
I rang the bell and within a few seconds, Mom opened the door. She smiled at me, then turned her attention to Kemara. “Welcome, Miss Kemara!”
She held open the door and we entered the house. We went to the living room, and Mom sat down, then offered us both the couch. I held tightly to Kemara’s hand and she didn’t look the least bit nervous, like all her nerves washed away.
“If you don’t mind, I would like to start off by saying something to you, Kemara,” my mother stated. “Is that how you pronounce your name, dear?” she asked.
Kemara nodded. “Exactly.”
I glanced at Kemara. She didn’t flinch that my mom wanted to speak to her first off. “Channing’s father told me what happened at the lodge, and I have to admit that, though I shouldn’t be, I’m surprised. I’m surprised that he wouldn’t hear Channing out and that they acted that way in front of you. And, I’m also surprised that you wanted to be here after it happened.”
Kemara shot me a look and her eyes darkened.
I opened my mouth to argue my mom’s point, but Mom held up her hand.
“I also have known about love for a long time,” she continued. “It’s a living thing that no one has quite figured out. Love has caused me to overlook some bad things in Channing’s father, and even participate in some things. So, I get love. I talked to Channing earlier, and I get the feeling that what he feels is love. If you feel the same, then I do believe there’s nothing anyone can do or say to change your mind.”
She looked at Kemara and smiled softly, then shifted her gaze to me. I smiled at my mom. “Thank you, Mom,” I said, mouthing the words. She then turned back to Kemara.
“How do you feel about my son?” she asked.
It had to have been rough for Kemara to speak that way in front of me and to my mother, but she didn’t seem phased by the question. “I do love your son, Mrs. Holloway. I have never felt this way about anyone ever before.”
Mom smiled. “How does your family feel about my son?” Mom asked.
“Mom!” I quickly stated. “Is that necessary?”
“I don’t mind answering,” Kemara said. She turned to my mom and I tried to relax. “My family was skeptical, at first.” She smiled. “Well, my sister was pretty sure it wouldn’t work out, and my parents were unsure if we could make a go of it when I introduced them to Channing.” That was news to me, so I quietly sat back and listened to her. “However, when they got to know him and see us together, they immediately saw how much I care for him and that he cares for me, and their doubts slipped away. Even my sister was impressed by him. He played with her kids, just like it was the most natural thing. They loved him.”
“I’ll be honest with you, Kemara. I mean nothing against you, because I didn’t even know you, but I had my concerns. Even when I saw how my son felt about you, I was worried that he was somehow blinded.” I tilted my head, ready to argue with my mom if she was going to give a bullshit answer that Kemara wasn’t good enough for me. I soon found out I didn’t need to argue with her. “You have proven me wrong. I have no doubt that you would make my son very happy. You love him and that’s all I need to know. Plus, you’ve got this spunk about you that I like,” she said and smiled.
In that moment, I didn’t have any reason to feel uncomfortable in the house. Kemara’s natural beauty shined through as she talked to my mom like she was one of her best friends. Mom offered us coffee and we took the conversation into the kitchen. It was an intimate setting that quickly went to when I was a little boy.
“Did he ever tell you the time when he was sure that Martians were living in the attic?” Mom started laughing and I could feel my face redden.
Kemara shot me an amused look, one that told me she wouldn’t let me live that one down. “No, he never told me about that,” Kemara said, chuckling as she took a drink of her coffee.
“Mom!” I groaned. “Kemara doesn’t need to hear every small detail of my life. Besides…I was five. Give me a break.” The table erupted into laughter and Mom kept going on.
“Well, when he said he needed to take the food up to the attic, so the Martians wouldn’t die, I nearly lost it,” Mom said, shaking her head.
I covered my face and felt doomed. Kemara reached out and touched my hand.
I pulled my hand back.
She was grinning from ear to ear. “I bet you were a cute five year old.”
I laughed. “I was darling.” That brought laughter into the kitchen again.
Kemara turned back to my mom and the smile never left her face. “Well, Channing hasn’t told me much about his childhood, but I can tell that I should come to you for some great stories.”
Mom winked at her. “Us women have to stick together.”
Kemara smiled and turned to look at me and her whole face lit up. I watched her and the love I felt for her couldn’t have been any greater. I squeezed her hand and that’s when Mom sighed, causing me to turn to look at her. She nodded, giving me a knowing look, and for the first time I believed that everything would be alright. Even if things never went this well with my father and brother, I still had Mom on my side. It was a good idea to come and see her, and I sensed that I at least had one family member I could count on.
Things were simple between Mom, Kemara, and I. A couple of hours passed and it seemed like minutes. I could continue to see the happiness in Kemara’s eyes, as we talked. After a while, we decided it was time to go before Dad got back from his Sunday evening fishing trip. The telling tale that Kemara was having a good time was when she looked disappointed that we had to get out of there.
I stood up, pulling Kemara up after me. “We should go Mom, but thank you for being so amazing.” We walked over to her. I kissed her on the cheek, then Kemara and Mom hugged. It was a sight I feared I would never see, and yet it happened right before me, when I was the happiest I’d been in a long time.
“It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Holloway,” Kemara stated.
“Same to you, dear. As long as I’m here, you’re always welcome in this house,” Mom said. That made me feel good to hear her say that, and Kemara was beaming.
“Thank you!” She looked at me and the grin was apparent.
We started to walk to the front door, when it swung open and in walked my father and brother. We froze and my father’s eyes landed on me. He put down his tackle box and his voice roared. “What are you doing here, Son?” He then shot a look to Kemara. “What’s that black bitch doing here? She’s not welcome here and you knew that already.”
“Chadwick Luther Holloway!” My mom snapped.
Kemara inched closer to me, and I held her tight. I wouldn’t let go of her for anything.
He looked at Mom. “What the hell are you doing?” Dad asked. “You know good and damn well we don’t allow black skinned people into our home.”
I felt Kemara’s muscles tighten as I held her. Her breathing was shallow and her eyes turned dark.
“As long as I’m here, we do. She’s a good woman and you should be happy for your son,” Mom argued. Dad opened his mouth to argue, but Mom quickly continued. “We’ve always said we would love those that found love for our children, well that’s Kemara. You don’t know her and if you keep this up, then you’re going to lose it all.”
The fire in my dad’s stare could melt ice. He glared at Mom, a look of distaste oozing from him. “Don’t you speak back to me,” he said, scolding her. “I’m the man of this house and what I say…goes.”
I held Kemara close to me and watched it unfold as Mom and Dad argued. When I looked at Kemara, her eyes were darting back and forth. I was impressed that my mom was holding her own but didn’t want to cause trouble between them. I just wanted what was right to prevail.
“You need to allow our sons, both of them, to do as they so choose. They’re both of age and you have them pinned down underneath your thumb doing what you want them to do. It’s a new world, Chad. For God’s sake, let them breathe.”
Damon tried to get in the mix, by defending our father. “Mom, I’m happy with the life I lead. Channing just doesn’t know what’s good in life. This black bitch must have him fooled.” Damon turned to me.
I moved a step closer to him, but Kemara didn’t let up her grasp on me. “Don’t call her names, or you will have hell to pay,” I warned him.
Damon laughed. “You and what army? Hey…maybe her black gang can come protect you. Do you need their protection, little brother?”
I would have gone one step further to go after him, but I heard Kemara’s soft words. “Please…don’t,” she whispered, softly exhaling. I turned to look at her and our eyes met. She was right. I couldn’t get into a fight with my brother. Nothing good would come of it. One of us would win the fight, but the war was a losing battle for me. He had too much hate in his heart for me to stamp out with a beating.
I stepped away from Damon and he snickered. “Damn straight, you know you need to back down. Let the little lady put you in your place.”
I shook my head. I just wanted out of there. “We are done here,” I said and moved my arm down, until my hand rested in hers.
Dad turned to me, glaring in my direction. “I just want to know is she worth losing your family? We’ve been here for you all your life, and now you’re ready to throw us away for her. Is she worth it?” he asked me, basically cutting Kemara out of the equation.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her jaw drop slightly. When she was done looking at my father, she turned to me. I didn’t even need a second to respond to his question. I knew that answer. I was ready to prove to him, and anyone else that asked the burning question, that our love was real. No matter what anyone thought, Kemara was the one for me.
“Yes, because I love her and nothing is going to change that. If that means walking out of here and never seeing you again, it will hurt me as a man to not be around my family, but I will live with that.” My heart pounded in my chest. That’s when I felt some hesitation from Kemara. I glanced at her.
She shook her head slightly, as if telling me I shouldn’t have responded that way. I ignored it. I turned back to him. “I’m done with the cult you drug me into, and if I have to be done with you, too, then so be it. It’s time for me to start living for myself anyway.”
Dad smirked, shooting me a devilish gleam. “Fine! Then get your ass out of here! You and her should leave and never come back. I stand by my decision and you and your black whore aren’t welcome in this house as long as I live.”
“I’m not a whore or a bitch, Mr. Holloway. I’m just a girl that loves your son. And, I will forever love him.”
“So, you two should leave now,” he said without acknowledging Kemara. He looked away from me.
I nodded slowly, fuming that he would call her the degrading name. However, I didn’t expect anything more from him. He had a right to his opinion, no matter how small-minded that opinion was. Before leaving, I looked at Mom. “Thank you for trying, and I love you!”
I pulled Kemara after me and we left the house and I never looked back. A part of me was sad that I had to walk away from my mom like that. A bigger part of me was relieved I never had to go back there and live a lie. I was finally free.
When we got back to the truck, she stopped me. “He’s your father, Channing. Make things right with him. You shouldn’t screw up things between your family. If that means that we have to stop this…”
I broke her words off with a kiss. When I parted, I touched my thumb to her lips and her eyes locked on mine. “Do you love me?” I asked.
“You know I do,” she softly stated.
“Do you trust me?”
“With all of my heart,” she responded.
“Then, you should trust that you are all I need. I mean that when I say it. I don’t want you to ever doubt that what I’m doing comes from a deeply sincere place.” I reached for the door. “Let’s get out of here.” I opened her door, and she slid into the seat. I looked up towards the house that held so many childhood memories for me. Tears stung the backs of my lids, but they didn’t fall. I had a feeling that was it. I would never walk through those doors again, and I would be able to handle that.
With just one look, Kemara always made me feel that I was the only person in the world. I respected her as a person, as a friend, and as a lover. I couldn’t lose her. We’d gotten to know one another heart to heart, soul to soul, body to body, and I truly felt that I would do anything for her.
It was just vital that I proved that to myself and to her. By walking away from my family, I wasn’t just doing it for Kemara, I was doing it for myself. I was tired of doing everything my father wanted me to. It was time I did something to make myself happy, and by all regards that was being with Kemara. I got in the driver’s seat and turned to her. She still looked unsure, so I lifted her hand in mine and softly kissed her knuckles.
“Everything is going to be alright. I’ll make certain of that. As long as, you’re willing to give me your love, I’ll do anything to prove I deserved it,” I poured my heart out to the woman I would one day marry, God willing. When the slightest smile broke through her barriers of doubt, I cranked my truck and drove away.