For the next few weeks, I couldn’t get enough of Ariel. When I wasn’t with her, I was thinking about her. For the first time in my adult life, I spent more time with her than I did with the crew. Dom, as always, was the first one to notice. He eyed me as I walked into the club after spending the third night in a row over at Ariel’s.

“You going nomad on us, Chase?” he asked. Dom, Bo, and Kade sat at one of the round tables in the main room of the clubhouse. Mama Bear stood behind the bar. She threw a towel at Dom’s head with blistering accuracy, hitting him square in the face. This got a laugh out of the guys and a middle finger aimed in his direction from me.

“Cut him some slack,” Kade said, slapping Dom in the chest with the back of his hand. “You’re just jealous cuz he’s prettier than you.”

“You got that right,” Mama said, laughing. Her eyes twinkled when she looked at me. A second later, she dropped her smile and grabbed another towel from under the bar. If I let her get me alone, I knew she’d have words for me.

I took a reluctant seat with Dom and the others. I knew what was coming. Mama came out from behind the bar and brought me a mug. I reached over and poured a beer from the pitcher in front of Kade. Mama stood behind me and ran a hand through my hair.

“We’ve missed your pretty face, as a matter of fact,” she said. This got some awkward throat clearing from Bo and Dom. Fucking Kade just smiled. He’d been through this gauntlet himself and came out the other side.

“Sorry,” I said. “Just some things I’ve been sorting out.”

Mama Bear leaned down. She had my face between her hands and tilted up to hers. In her day, she’d been a knockout with platinum-blonde hair, big tits, and blue eyes that could stare right through you. In her fifties, she was still a stone-cold fox. Her blonde hair had gone pure white but she was still built better than most people half her age.

“I want to meet your girl, Chase,” she said. “I’ve been hearing all sorts of things around town. It’s time you bring her here.”

Dom laughed. “Sheeit. She’s going to run for the fucking hills when she sees where you lay your head at night.”

Mama straightened and leveled a hard stare at Dom. “You got something to say about my house, James?”

Dom cleared his throat again and sat up straight in his chair. “No, ma’am.”

“It’s temporary,” I reminded him. “What’s your excuse?” Dom had been living in the clubhouse apartments on a more or less permanent basis over the last two years. For me, I’d sold my house on the east side and was saving to build on the beach near where Axle lived.

“How about tonight?” Mama said, fixing her focus back on me.

“Tonight?”

“Your girl,” she said, smiling. “Bear’s in the mood for a barbecue. Didn’t you smell it when you walked in? Pig’s been out on the spit all morning.”

I swallowed hard. Shit. She didn’t just mean bringing Ariel around to meet her. Mama Bear wanted Ariel to meet the whole crew all at once.

“I insist,” she said, though her hard eyes had already told me that. “Two birds, one stone. We were planning to celebrate Kade and Harlow coming back and Gina’s going to bring the baby. The whole family will be here.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, echoing Dom’s tone from a few minutes ago. When Mama Bear gave an order, only a fool would try to disobey it. Fuck. It wasn’t that I wanted to hide Ariel. It was just ... we were new. This whole thing was new. Plus, the full Dark Saints M.C. treatment could be overwhelming for anybody. Ariel was already skittish when it came to how I made my living.

“Good,” Mama said, giving me a peck on the cheek. “It’s settled then. Have Ariel here by six o’clock.”

“Right,” I said. “She’s going to ask what to bring.”

Mama smiled. “And you’ll tell her just herself.”

Just herself. Fuck. Ariel would have no idea what she was getting herself into.

* * *

When I broke the news to her, Ariel was surprisingly calm. Hell, she was downright amused. I picked her up a little after five thirty. My heart flipped as it always did I when rode up her driveway. My dick tightened at the sight of her. She wore a slip of a halter top. It covered everything important, but it was just a thin triangle of red fabric tied at her neck and around the back. Her tanned, toned arms and shoulders were exposed and most of her back too. All I’d have to do was loosen one string to see those luscious, full tits of hers I’d grown to love. They were the perfect size, fitting heavy one in each hand. She had on a pair of skinny jeans and her red cowboy boots.

As I walked up to her, I had the urge to cover her. She was stunning and sexy. The idea that the rest of the guys would see her in that riled me.

I slid my arms around her waist and pulled her to me. “I’ve been waiting for this all day,” I said, lowering my lips to hers. Ariel sank into the kiss. Her nipples popped against my chest and I realized she wasn’t wearing a bra.

Fuck. At this rate we weren’t gonna make it past the porch let alone on the back of my bike and all the way back to the clubhouse.

“You sure you’re ready for this?” I said. “My crew’s a lot to take all at once.”

Ariel smiled up at me. “Baby, I’ve been handling good ol’ boys all my life. Don’t underestimate me.”

“Never.” I slid my hands over her hips. Ariel’s skin warmed beneath mine as my fingers played at her waist where her skin was bare.

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s take the long way around. I’ve made some progress on the Hutchins Street house I want to show you on the way out.”

I stiffened, then let a breath out. We hadn’t talked about that house in weeks. I’d managed to put it mostly out of my mind. Ariel sensed a shift in my mood. She reached up and smoothed her thumb over my cheekbone.

“Sure, baby,” I said, catching her wrist. “Real quick. We don’t wanna keep Mama Bear waiting.”

“Hmm. Mama Bear. How’d she get that name again?”

Ariel followed me down the steps. She hopped on the back of my bike. Her arms around my waist felt as natural as breathing.

“It’s what she is. You’ll see. As far as Bear? Nobody alive knows for sure how he got his road name. Not even E.Z., our Veep. If Mama knows, she’s not talking.”

I revved the engine and pulled out of Ariel’s driveway. We drew some stares from her neighbors as I made the turn and went five blocks down to Hutchins Street. After all that time, I still got the same pit in my stomach as that peaked roof came into view.

It was different today though. Ariel wasn’t kidding about doing some work. She’d ripped out the rusted chain-link fence in the front and all of the dead bushes. The cement sidewalk was also gone. In its place were new stone pavers, but they were in the wrong place. Hell, the front door wasn’t the front door anymore. She’d moved it over and centered it. There was a whole new porch at the front of the house.

“Come on,” she said, dismounting. Ariel held her hand out to mine. I followed her, my heart hammering inside of me as we got closer to the front. She could change things. She could give the house a whole new face and maybe even gut the insides. But she couldn’t change everything. The demons still lived inside those walls, as far as I was concerned.

Ariel punched a code into the lockbox and swung open the new door. The foyer leading up- and downstairs was gone. The house opened up to the main floor now. Inside, there was hardly anything familiar. The wall separating the kitchen and living room was gone.

“Fuck me,” I whispered as I followed Ariel inside. It was still a construction site inside with a bare subfloor, unfinished walls, and power tools laying everywhere. But I could almost see the house through Ariel’s eyes. It was a hell of a lot better than my own.

“Wait until you see the back of the house,” she said. “I had to take it from four to three bedrooms, but I think it’s better this way. You’ve got to check out the master suite.”

Ariel talked a mile a minute, swept up with excitement. I loved her like this. She was animated, gesturing wildly, framing each room with her hands as she described her vision. I wanted to see it her way. But with each step I took toward the back of the house, I could only see the past.

It struck me hard, like an anvil in the chest. My breath left me and my throat ran dry.

Mama? Wake up. Wake up! You’re bleeding.

Shouts. Screams. A siren wailed in the distance. There was someone talking to me. A hand pulling me back. It was too late. I’d seen everything. I’d seen what they’d done.

I blinked. Once. Twice. I saw my mother dancing, laughing through a gap in the closet wall. She’d told me to stay in my room. Mrs. Danberry couldn’t take me tonight. Mom had a date. She always had a date. It would only last for a little while, she promised. If I was good and quiet and stayed in my room, she’d take me to Hinkle’s for some ice cream tomorrow. I could even get it for breakfast.

No. No. No.

“Chase? Chase, look at me!”

A wave of dizziness nearly brought me to my knees. I reached for my mother. Her hair was wrong. It was supposed to be yellow like the sun. Tonight it was red, covered in blood. No. Not blood. Not my mother. Ariel’s face swam before me and changed. One second she was my mother, smiling, dancing, laughing. The next, her eyes had become pearls and she wouldn’t look at me. The next instant, there was Ariel again, her face filled with concern as she reached for me.

“Chase?”

I started breathing again. Sweat poured from my brow. Ariel held my face in her hands as she went up on tiptoe. We stood in the middle of the master suite. It was my mother’s room, except not. She’d changed everything, torn down another wall, put French doors off the back.

“I’m so sorry,” Ariel said. “I thought this would help.”

“Help?” My voice didn’t sound like my own.

“Sit here,” she said, pulling a stool from the corner of the room. “Put your head between your knees. You look like you’re going to faint.”

I shook my head and pulled her hands away from me. “I’m fine. I just ... fuck.”

Tears streamed from Ariel’s eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’m so stupid. What was I thinking, bringing you back here?”

“She died here,” I said, my voice thick and deep.

Ariel nodded. “I know, baby. I know.”

“No,” I said. “She died right here.”

Ariel parted her lips to say something, then froze as the impact of my meaning sank in.

“This room,” I said. “I found her in this room. No. I didn’t find her. I always knew she was here. She told me to hide in the closet that night. She had a john over. I didn’t know that’s what he was. I was just eight. A friend. She always said it was a friend. God. I can’t see him. I can see her, but I can’t see him.”

Ariel put a finger to her lips. “Oh God. Oh Chase. You were here? When it happened. You mean you saw?”

I nodded and turned my back to her. “It’s gone,” I said, going to the opposite wall. I ran my hands along the new drywall. Before, this had all been plaster. In the corner, on the east wall, had been the gap where I’d peeked from the closet on the other side.

“She didn’t scream,” I whispered. “She never fucking screamed.”

“Chase.” Ariel came to me, putting a light hand on my back. To me, it felt like fire. Flinching, I pulled away from her. It was too much. Too hard. Too raw. Before I knew what was happening, I’d punched a hole into the brand-new drywall.

Ariel sucked in a hard breath then drew my hand away. My knuckles bloodied, she pulled me back. I didn’t want to touch her. I didn’t want her to see.

“Chase,” Ariel said again. My vision tunneled and time seemed to slow down. I don’t remember walking away from that wall with her, but now, we stood on the balcony she’d built off the bedroom. A warm autumn breeze kicked up, blowing Ariel’s red-gold hair away from her face.

There were tears in her eyes. I hated it. I never wanted to see another woman cry because of me. She didn’t deserve this. I was dark, she was light.

“Don’t,” she said as I tried to pull away. “Chase, don’t you dare. Don’t shut me out.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “You want this? You want in, Ariel?”

“Yes,” she said. “Of course.”

“Maybe you should have just listened to what everybody told you.”

Ariel’s sweet smile pulled at my heart. How could she be like that? How could she see my pain and the darkness swirling all around and still look at me like that? Why wasn’t she afraid?

“About you?” she asked. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve never been big on doing what’s expected of me.”

I tore a hand through my hair. My other one, where I’d punched the wall, started to throb. “Sorry about that,” I said. “I ruined your wall.”

“A little spackle and paint, Chase. That’s all it needs. And I am sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you back here. I don’t know. I thought seeing it fixed up might make it easier for you.”

I turned toward the yard, curling my fists around the wooden railing. It was beautiful back here. Ariel had been right about that. Even without the landscaping finished, I could see Ariel’s vision. It was a huge lot with hundred-year-old oaks lining the fence. There would be space for a garden toward the back. A family could live here. They could start over.

“Chase,” she said, putting her light hand on my back again. This time, I didn’t flinch. “What happened to you? Afterward, I mean.”

“You don’t want to know this,” I said, my voice sounding bitter and distant to my ears.

“I do. I want to know everything about you.”

That was just the kind of thing people said. I knew she didn’t mean all of it. No one could mean all of it. No one except the other members of my crew could know about all the dark corners of my life. And maybe not even then.

“You survived,” she said. “You’re whole. You’re standing here and you’re one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met. You came out the other side. How?”

I turned to her. “What do you think happened to me? What always happens to kids from the north side when there’s nobody left?”

Ariel took a step back. Her eyes searched my face. She reached for me, running her fingers along my jaw. I caught her hand, holding it firmly away from my face.

“You went into the system,” she said, her voice going flat. “Foster care?”

“I was eight,” I said by way of an answer.

“Of course you did. God. Chase, half my crew ended up that way. Bobby, Nolan. A few others on my demo crew. I found a lot of them in a shop class at Port Az High. Those were the ones lucky enough to be able to stay in school. A lot of them don’t.”

“Right,” I said. “Lost causes. So that’s your specialty.”

“That’s not what I mean. I just mean ... I’m proud of you. That’s all. And I know that might come off as patronizing or something. It’s just, I’m not naive.”

“They never found him,” I said, turning away. My mind ventured back to the last horrible night I spent in this fucking house.

“Found who?” she asked. Then she cleared her throat and dropped her head as my words took on meaning.

“Not a trace. I was here but I can’t see his face. I’ve tried. I’ve tried so many times. If anybody saw or knew something, nobody talked.”

“North-side rules,” she whispered. “Look the other way unless you want to be next.”

“Something like that. Rochelle Raines was just another two-bit whore. She wasn’t unique to anybody around here and nobody was surprised. I can thank my daddy for that. Big man. Her protector. He was nothing more than her pimp. And she fucking loved him. That was her biggest crime.”

“Didn’t they have any suspects? I mean ... your father was gone by the time she ... when it happened. Who was she working for then?” Ariel moved to stand beside me. We looked out at the lawn together.

“Nobody. That’s what Bear said. So my daddy was a piece of shit, but she was safer when he was around. He wasn’t patched in, but he was connected to the club; my mother was safe enough. After he died, she didn’t have any other way to make ends meet. So near as I can figure, she took chances. Hooking in Port Azrael twenty years ago without management …”

“Russian roulette,” Ariel said.

“So nobody saw nothing. No murder weapon. No witnesses except for me. And I didn’t see enough. I don’t remember.”

I gripped the wooden railing so hard, I’m surprised it didn’t splinter. Ariel put her hand over mine. The bleeding had stopped but the skin was raw and broken.

“But you’re here, you’re strong, you survived.”

I turned to her. “I’m here because of Bear. When I was fourteen, he and Mama Bear got me out. I was doing everything I could to get myself thrown in jail. I figured it would be better than the homes I’d been in. I don’t know how they did it, but they did. They fought the courts and the system and they got me out. I went to live with them. By the time I was eighteen, I patched in. The club saved me.”

I locked eyes with Ariel when I said it. The club saved me. She swallowed hard as she looked up at me. Her lips formed a thin, bloodless line but finally, she nodded. She understood.

I was the club. The club was me. There would never be anything that could divide us. After a long beat, Ariel took my good hand and held it to her breast.

“Come on,” she said. “It’s time for you to take me to meet them.”