First I’d wanted to keep her to myself. But Ariel rose to the challenge of meeting the entire Dark Saints membership full on. Mama Bear stayed a little cold, but I knew it was only a matter of time before the two of them grew comfortable together. They were two of the strongest women I’d ever known. Hell, they were more alike than they were different. It’s a wonder they didn’t try to scratch each other’s eyes out at first sight.

“What are you worried about?” Ariel said. Sunlight stabbed through the slats of the bedroom window. Rufus barked just outside. We’d spent the last few nights here in the clubhouse. It earned me some raised eyebrows from some of the crew. They all thought Ariel was cool, but she was still an outsider. I think on some level, I was waiting for Ariel to see too much and bail. So far she hadn’t, and I didn’t know what to make of it.

She hadn’t asked me about what had happened at the Hutchins Street house a few days ago. For my part, I wanted to forget it ever happened. It was a side of me she didn’t need to see ever again.

“Worried?” I said, pulling on a boot. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was leave this bedroom. But we had rounds and collections to make. The Saints provided security to most of the businesses along the dock. A few of them had been short with payments this month. This was Axle’s show, but I rode along to watch his back.

Ariel rolled to her side. Sunlight turned her hair gold. The bedsheet slipped, exposing her naked breasts. “Fuck,” I said, leaning back. I tweaked one nipple then the other, loving how they popped out just for me. “You’re a bad influence, baby.”

“I’m a bad influence?” Laughing, Ariel sat up in bed. The sheet still covered her from the waist down. I wanted to tear it away and spread her wide. I could stay in bed all day with this woman and never get tired of touching her. She reached for me; curving her fingers around my ear, she tucked back a loose strand of my hair. Ariel went up on her knees and the sheet fell away. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders. Groaning, I pressed her to me, loving the contour of her ample tits against my chest.

“Yeah,” I growled, reaching around to smack her taut ass. She let out a little squeal that got me hard all over again. Only the pounding on my door kept me from bending her over my lap.

“Chase!” Axle’s sharp voice filled the room. “We’re late, man. Get a move on.” As angry as he sounded, I knew better. Axle was fucking with me. Yeah, we needed to hit the road, but he knew damn well what I had going on in here.

“Mmm.” Ariel sat back. “Better not keep him waiting. Axle’s fierce. I have a feeling I wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.” She meant it half-jokingly, but I couldn’t help the frown I made. No one liked Axle Hart when he was angry. He could be the scariest son of a bitch you’d ever seen and he was a large part of why the Saints had the respect we did.

“What are you up to today?” I said, quickly changing the subject. “Cuz I wouldn’t mind you just hanging out here. Hell, I wouldn’t mind just tying you up like this and making you wait for me. You know how badly I’d just like to stay in bed with you all day?”

The flush of desire colored Ariel’s cheeks. It spread to her chest, pebbling her nipples for me. “You are a bad influence,” she said. “As delicious as that sounds, I’ve got a lot of work today. In fact, I’m not sure if I’ll see you later.”

I gave her a gruff snort of disapproval and repositioned her so she straddled my waist. It would be so easy to just unzip my fly and plunge into her. My dick was rock hard and she wriggled against me. She threaded her fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead.

“I’m serious,” she said. “I’ve got final inspections on two of my properties.”

“Hutchins?” I asked. I felt that bubble of rage just below the surface. No. No more. I couldn’t let that part of me out in front of her again. Ariel frowned and a little crease wrinkled her brow.

She kissed me again. “Yes. Hutchins Street. I’ve got my stagers coming in later this evening if everything goes okay with the city inspector.”

She emphasized the word “if.” “I can help you with that,” I said. Ariel shifted, throwing her leg off me. She climbed off the bed and started looking for her underwear. They were in a corner near the door.

“What,” I asked. “Did I say something wrong?”

She crossed her arms in front of her, covering her breasts as if she’d suddenly grown shy. “No, it’s just, I don’t want you to do those kinds of favors for me. Not ever.”

Laughing, I came off the bed and went to her. Ariel bit her lip and took a step back. Her eyes flashed with fury.

“Ariel, what?”

“I mean it.” She gave up trying to find her panties and settled for grabbing one of my t-shirts off the floor. She stabbed her arms through it. The thing hung on her like a dress, covering her ass, almost reaching her knees.

“Calm down.”

She started to pace. “I’m calm. It’s just ... Chase. It’s my business. My reputation. I can’t have people thinking …”

“What? That you condone my particular lifestyle?” Fuck. I hadn’t meant to start a fight with her. I hadn’t even meant to give her the idea that I was planning to lean on some city inspector for her benefit. Sure, I could do that in a second. There were also about a dozen legit ways I could help smooth her inspection process for her.

Ariel’s eyes widened and her cheeks flamed red. “Don’t,” she said, her voice cracking.

“Don’t what?” Something cracked inside of me again. No, not cracked, hardened. I experienced it as a nearly physical sensation, a wall fitting back into place. Everything in front of me seemed to shift, and kaleidoscope. I saw Ariel’s face, filled with worry and hurt as she took a step toward me. It morphed into something else. Judgement. Disgust. Hell, I’d seen that expression time after time in town. I was filth, scum, the thing that no respectable citizen of Port Azrael would have anything to do with. Even if my club was the very thing keeping the streets safe to walk down at night.

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” she said. Then it was just Ariel’s face again. I’d put pain in her eyes and hated myself for it. It seemed so easy to do. As if the dark parts of me kept seeping out no matter how hard I tried to hold them back. We could leave Hutchins Street, but it wouldn’t leave me.

“I knew what you meant,” I said. The words spilled out of my mouth as if some dam burst inside of me. I wanted to hold them back. I didn’t want to hurt her. This wasn’t my heart. And yet, that protective shell that had saved me my whole life was so damn hard to break.

“No,” Ariel said, reaching for me. “You don’t know what I meant.” This time, it was my turn to take a step back. She dropped her hands to her side.

“It’s cool, Ariel. I get what I am to you.” Why the fuck did I say that? It was like I became two halves of the same person. One wanted to go to her, pull her against me, and tell her I was sorry for being a dickhead. The other wanted to push her away. I was who I was. My club was what it was. If I let this woman in, maybe she’d try to make me choose or change me. She was light. I was dark. We’d been on a collision course from the moment I met her.

“Stop it,” she said. “Where the hell is this coming from? I just think we should keep our businesses separate, that’s all. I’m not judging you.”

“Right,” I said. “I forgot.”

“Forgot what?” The hurt in her eyes flared to anger. There it is, I told myself. Better to expose her true heart now.

She didn’t let me answer. Ariel grabbed her jeans off the floor and stabbed her legs into them. “You know what, forget it. I don’t know what the hell I did or said to get on your bad side today. Let’s just chalk it up to a misunderstanding and go do what we need to do today. You do your shit, I’ll do mine.”

I hated myself for thinking it, but I tried to find the judgment in her tone even now. “And I suppose you think your shit is saving Port Azrael while mine is tearing it down.” Fuck. I didn’t mean it. The words just tumbled the fuck out. The devil in me flared to life. Who the hell was I to think I could have something as good as this woman?

“What?” she said, her face going white. “Chase, what the hell is this?”

“Truth,” I answered. “Better to face it now before we’re both in this too deep.”

“What truth?” she said, her voice breaking.

“Port Azrael, the north side. It is what it is. New paint and quartz countertops can’t change that.”

“Right, so where are you headed today then, Chase? Huh? You think your way is better?” She took a step back, gesturing toward the dresser. My Nine sat on top of it in its holster. I went for it, sliding it through my belt loop.

“Didn’t say better,” I answered, hating the bitterness in my tone. “Effective though. Realistic.”

There were tears in her eyes that I knew I put there. I hated myself for it. She didn’t deserve it. Ariel didn’t deserve any of it. The real truth was that I didn’t deserve her.

“Better to face it now before we’re both in this too deep.” She echoed my words to her in a whisper. Ariel turned and headed for the door. I dropped my shoulders and clenched my fists to my side. God, I was the worst kind of asshole. I thought she would leave. She should have left. She should have slugged me or thrown something at me. I deserved that too. She didn’t. Instead, she turned back and faced me, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

“I’m already in too deep, you asshole,” she said. I stood stone still as Ariel came to me.

No. Don’t do it. You belong in the light, baby.

The demons roared to life inside of me. Twenty years’ worth of rage, fear, darkness. Don’t get close. Don’t love. Don’t hurt. Hutchins Street closed around me.

“I love you.” Ariel brought her hands up, letting her fingers hover near my face. She never made contact even though she touched my soul. “I love you,” she said again.

I wanted to tell her I was sorry. I wanted to take her in my arms and feel her body against mine where it fit the best. I could do none of those things. It was as if cement had seeped around my heart and hardened there.

I don’t know how much time passed. Enough that my silence broke something inside of Ariel. She dropped her hands and backed away. Then she turned and walked out the door.