Emily
Indebted
You owe me.
I wince, painful tendrils of dread seizing my spine. Those are the same three words Skull used the night we escaped.
You owe me.
Pete’s hand skims further up my thigh and I don’t stop it even though it makes my insides feel like oil. Is this the woman I’ve become? My time in Skull’s captivity has rendered me completely passive to invasive touches?
“Please don’t touch me,” I say. “I don’t like it.”
My voice starts out assertive and strong, but he squeezes my leg and my words waver with fear.
“Order a stronger drink. It’ll take the edge off.”
My heart leaps into my throat as he leans toward me. I want to pull away, to smack him in his face and rip up the contract, but my limbs are frozen. My mind is a blank slate, the only thing going through it is Jai. If I can get to him, everything will be okay. Some way, somehow, the universe hears my plea. A tall, broad shadow in my peripheral catches my attention, and it’s quick. I barely have time to registers Jai’s furious form as he storms to our table and dumps a bowl of boiling yellow soup into Pete’s lap, forcing his hand from my thigh, a bloodcurdling scream ripping from his throat.
“Jai!” I shoot back, slapping my hand to my mouth as my chair skids along the tiles below with an ear-piercing screech.
My heart races, slamming into my chest, threatening to crush my ribs to powder. Jai grabs Pete by the back of the head and slams his face into his empty plate, cracking the porcelain, making the cutlery clash. He lifts Pete by his hair and I gasp at the sight of his bleeding face.
“Apologize,” Jai demands and Pete sniffles, glaring at me.
“You could have told me you had a boyfriend.”
I peer at Jai. His teeth are bared, his eyebrows furrowed. I’ve never seen him so angry, so furious. I inch closer. “Jai—”
He slams Pete’s face against the table again and I recoil, my stomach twisting painfully. “I didn’t hear you.”
“F-fuck!” Pete shouts, lifting his hands. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
Jai releases Pete with a shove and extends a hand to me. “I’ll carry your bag.”
I give him my handbag without argument. His breathing is shallow, his broad chest rising and falling rapidly as he reaches into my bag, snatches the contract out of its folder, and rips it in half before tossing it onto the table.
“You’re disgusting,” Jai spits at Pete and he snatches my wrist with a large, angry hand.
I keep my head down, not daring to look at everyone else in the restaurant, as Jai drags me toward the exit. Murmurs and whispers surround us, but I tune them out. What they have to say about the situation is the least of my worries. What if the police get a hold of the footage? What if they trace us back to our real names? Last time I checked, all the steps involved in pseudocide are definitely crimes.
My feet ache in my kitten heels as Jai drags me down the street to Joel’s truck, hidden in a parking lot of a side alley. I pull against him, wanting to slow my walk before I trip or roll my ankle. When we’re off the beautiful stone Siena street, Jai lets me go and whirls on his heel, pinning me with the angriest glare he’s ever directed at me.
“Joel told you! He told you and you didn’t listen!” he snaps, and I inch backward in shock.
“I didn’t think—”
“You do this to yourself.” He points a long, thick finger in my face. “Getting off that damn train, tormenting Skull, and now Pete? Jesus-fucking-Christ, Emily. Do you even know what self-preservation is?”
I flinch. Is that how he sees it? That all these “altercations” I’ve found myself in are my fault? Maybe I’ve made a few bad choices, but that doesn’t mean I deserve these shitty, gross encounters with spoiled men who refuse to take no for an answer.
I swallow my hurt and blink away impending tears. No. I won’t let him put that on me. I’ve beat myself up enough over it already. It is not my fault.
“Unlock the car, please,” I say, my voice calm as I attempt to step around him.
He blocks my path with his large frame and towers over me. I cut my eyes at him.
“Don’t you dare use your height to intimidate me after what you said, Jai. It makes you no better than Skull or Pete.”
His hard, stern face softens into…I don’t know. Regret? Sympathy? He reaches out and I hold my breath as he brushes his index finger along the back of my hand. Tingles spread under his touch and immerse my entire arm, but I don’t let the warmth he’s triggering in me reach my expression. No. I want him to see me cold. I want him to see how his words make me feel.
“I shouldn’t have said that.”
I stare at him, letting out a subtle exhale.
“I didn’t mean it,” he continues, his touch progressing from a caress with his finger to a full brush of his palm up and down my arm. If he’s going to yell in my face then he better believe it’s the truth, otherwise, his only purpose was to hurt my feelings.
And that’s just cruel.
“You meant it.”
I look away from him, only he catches my chin with his fingers and gently eases me back until our eyes lock. “I didn’t. I spoke without thought. I’m sorry.”
I nod, a subtle dip of my head. “Can we go home now, please?”
Jai unlocks the truck and opens the door, helping me inside. He doesn’t utter another word, even as we drive along our street. I see the small solar-powered light on Monique and Joel’s mailbox and breathe a sigh of relief. I need a shower to wash away tonight and then I need a good night’s rest. When I wake up tomorrow, I can pretend today never happened.
* Jai *
I see their mailbox up ahead. I creep closer and closer to it with a stomach full of frustration and dread. Emily’s still mad at me and the air in the car is tense. I’m afraid if I open my mouth, I’ll set her off. I’m an idiot for saying what I said. The words tore from my lips without the approval of my brain. I didn’t mean a word of it. I was angry at myself for not being able to control my temper, my jealousy, and I blamed her for it. I’ve been stuck in a world of anger, hatred, and violence for so long my fuse has burned down, leaving only the tiniest remnant of a wick.
I pull into Joel’s drive and turn off the car. Emily opens her door and climbs out. She doesn’t wait for me as I close my door and lock the truck. I stroll toward Joel’s monstrous house as she storms toward her own.
I bound up the porch steps and open the front door, frowning at the fact they didn’t lock it. Joel knows Skull isn’t dead. Why the hell wouldn’t he lock his door?
My spine straightens of its own accord…no. I force myself to relax. I checked my device when I was in the restaurant. Skull’s not in Italy anymore. I walk through the foyer, following the sounds of girlish giggling. I tread lightly, in fear of what I might see.
“Hello?” I shout, stopping by the kitchen doorway to give them time to get decent—assuming they’re indecent in the first place.
Joel trots into the kitchen a minute later, his smile wide and excited. He runs a tattooed hand over his bare, tattooed torso, the tips of his fingers brushing the hem of his loose gray sweatpants. The weather is cool in Italy right now, but you can tell by the crisp whip the wind carries on its tail that we’re descending into winter. I shudder. I hate winter. It makes me think of all those freezing nights we spent at the lake house and locked up in Skull’s compound. I’d be happy moving to a place where winter doesn’t exist, or at least, not like it does in the States or most parts of Europe.
“You’re home already?”
I nod with an exhale and walk forward, tossing his keys onto the counter. “Yep.”
I chance a glance over his shoulder and, thankfully, the sitting room is empty. He plants his hands on the counter.
“How’d it go? Where’s Emily?” He peers around me, his dark irises dancing with amusement. “I’m ready to deliver my I told you so.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” I rub at my forehead and it catches Joel’s attention.
He snags my wrist and pulls it close for inspection, his amusement falling from his face when he spots drops of dry blood against my skin. I snatch it back. He’s going to lose his mind when he finds out what I did. He’ll point out how it’ll negatively impact his business, tarnish their brand.
I get it, and I acknowledge that I could’ve handled it better, but I don’t regret it. Maybe the beat down I gave him will teach that piece of shit to think twice before putting his hands on a woman without asking. If he doesn’t, may the next guy kill him.
“What the hell happened?” Joel demands and I turn away.
I’m not in the mood to recap.
“I’m going to crash here tonight,” I say over my shoulder, heading back toward the spacious white stone foyer to the matching stairs, lined with a shiny, black banister.
I doubt Emily wants my company, and that’s probably a good thing. I’m not in the mood to argue anymore. God knows I’d say something else that’s stupid.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Jai? What’d you do?” he shouts from the kitchen.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Also, lock your damn front door.”
He has a freaking kid in the house. It’s a no brainer. There mightn’t be anyone living close by, but you never know who is walking around out there in this messed up world.
“You’ll talk to me now!” he calls out, but I don’t stop. I continue up the stairs toward the guest room I’ve stored my belongings in when I picked them up from my hotel room this morning. “Jai!”
I do my best to tread lightly past Jake’s room, releasing a breath I didn’t know I was holding only when the door to the bedroom clicks shut. Then, I whip off my shirt and toss it to the floor. After rummaging through my suitcase, I pull out a new white tee and a pair of gray sweatpants, and I head for the shower to wash off Pete’s blood, Emily’s fury, and all the angry sweat that leaked out of my pores from the minute she walked into the kitchen with Joel this evening.
***
I shower and wash most of my issues down the drain. When I get out, I’m a new man. Refreshed…and so fucking sorry. I throw on my clothes, shoes, and a hoodie for good measure, and I exit the guest room, heading back down the stairs. If I don’t make things right with Emily, I won’t be able to sleep, and I’d hate for her not to sleep well because she’s up reading into the shitty things I said. I also want to make things right with her because, well, Skull is out there and I don’t know how much time we have together before I have to leave again or before…
…he finds her.
I descend the stairs, skipping every second step, and amble through the foyer to the front door. I reach for the handle.
“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” Joel mutters, stopping me in my tracks.
I turn toward the kitchen.
“You tried. No, I’m not going to say I told you so,” he continues, “because it’s a shitty thing to say after all you’ve told me.”
I feel my face pull into a scowl as I peer into the kitchen and glare at Joel’s inked back as he leans against the far counter, holding his cellphone against his ear. He called her? He called Emily?
“Come up to the house if you need anything or if you don’t want to be alone. Monique and I will be up for a while.”
Isn’t this fucking nice? They’ve become the best of friends, haven’t they? Jealousy punches me in the gut. She’ll talk to him, but she won’t talk to me? That’s bullshit.
“He’s in the guest room…no, he didn’t seem angry.” He scratches at the back of his head. “Okay. Good night.”
Jealousy moves through my organs and carves its way through my bones and I hate it. I hate that Joel has been there for her more than me, that she trusts him more than she trusts me, and maybe it’s fucking childish, but I don’t care.
I whirl on my heel and storm toward the front door. I pull it open and slam it behind me, anger pumping hot blood around my body. I walk fast and heavy, hoping the cool air on my face cools my temper before I get to her door.
It doesn’t.
My knocks against her wooden front door are brutish and rough, it’ll be a miracle if she opens it and lets me inside. To my surprise, however, that’s exactly what she does.
Involuntarily, my gaze glues itself to her slender throat and the way it bobs when she swallows hard. Her black lace top is low cut, making her cleavage visible, along with her heaving chest. She smells clean with hints of lavender seeping from her skin, the scent making her seem that much more feminine and vulnerable. I shouldn’t have said what I said, and as I look at her, one thing becomes discernibly clear…
…I’m an asshole.
* Emily *
Electrical currents dance along my spine and I don’t dare tear my eyes away from him.
He owes me an apology.
When I climbed into my bed after my shower and the phone call with Joel, it felt colder and emptier than it ever has. I was wrapped in my fluffy, cream robe and ready to walk to the house to find Jai when he beat against my door. I ditched the robe by the kitchen counter and opened the door with a straight face to give the illusion that I held all the power.
I didn’t.
I rarely do when it comes to him because he knows how to strip me back and bare my soul.
“I’m an asshole,” he states. “Forgive me, please?”
“That’s why you’re here? For forgiveness?”
“I’m here to demand you never speak to my brother again, that you only love me, but I see how ridiculous that is now I’ve calmed down.”
Oh. I wasn’t aware he heard the phone call. Joel said he was upstairs—wait. Is Jai jealous of Joel? I love Joel, but it’s not the same kind of love I have for Jai. Joel is familial love, the same kind I have Monique, and Ted, Huss, and Hannah. With Jai it’s more than that.
“I’m sorry,” he says, pushing five fingers through his hair, disheveling it in that way I like so much. “I was angry, too furious to think straight, and I deflected it onto you. Truth is, it’s all my fault. I’m the reason you followed me from the train and I’m the reason Skull ruined your life, and I admit I could’ve handled Pete better.” He rubs his face. “I didn’t have to hurt him, but I lose my head when it comes to you. I’ll fight anyone and everyone to defend you. You know that.”
I do. I know that, at the end of the day, Jai would do anything for me.
He steps closer, taking my hand in his, and swipes his thumb over the back of my hand. I hate that it warms my blood. I hate that my body goes into overdrive and every nerve in my body is hyper aware of him.
“I forgive you,” I utter and relief etches over his features, the expression melting my heart.
I snatch his hoodie in my hands and he sucks in a surprised breath before I slam my mouth to his. I’m shaking, my entire body unsteady with the urge to make up, to be as close to him as possible. He wraps his arms around me in the next heartbeat, desperately tasting me with his tongue. Groaning into my mouth, he runs his hands down the length of my thin, flimsy camisole, his hot touch like an electric bolt zapping through me.
He grips my thighs and lifts me up, carrying me further inside and kicking the door closed behind him. Jai maneuvers his hands under my cami to my ass, and he moans, deep and guttural, when he encounters my bare skin. No cotton. No lace. Just me.
“Couch,” I order, breaking the kiss for a second.
He walks me through my dimly lit house without fault before dropping onto the large, comfortable corner sofa, me straddling his thighs. He tugs his hoodie off over his head and dumps it beside us, not giving it a second thought.
Jai runs his hands over my body, stopping only to grip the hem of my camisole, and he tugs it up. I lift my arms and break the kiss as he pulls the fabric off me, tossing it over the back of the couch. Without the cami I’m completely naked.
And he notices.
He drags his dark, hungry stare all over my milky skin, taking turns focusing on my breasts and my bare, pulsating core. The way he looks at me sends hunger, deep and primitive, rushing through my nervous system. Anticipation swirls too, and it’s painful. If he doesn’t touch me soon, I’ll do it myself.
He smooths his rough beautifully over-worked hands up my thighs and I shiver, squirming on his lap.
“You’re too fucking pretty for your own good.”
Heat blooms over my entire body.
“You think I’m pretty?” I tease, feigning disbelief.
Jai reaches around to knead my ass. “The prettiest.”
I lean forward slightly, pressing my breasts against his chest as he squeezes my pliant flesh, teasing me. I want more. I need more. I move my hands over his torso, feeling every hard inch of him, but it isn’t enough. My skin burns to feel his. His stomach tightens as I move my hand lower, where his ‘V’ shape leads into his pants, and I slip my cool hands under his shirt. When I touch him, flesh to flesh, tingles skyrocket over my body and my blood burns like hellfire.
I flick my tongue over his soft lower lip and slide my palms up his torso, lifting his shirt as I go, until the tips of my fingers brush over his nipples. They’re hard and taut, making desire pool between my legs. I want to lick them.
As if he’s read my mind, Jai whips off his shirt, and tosses it away like he did my bra. Seeing him like this…I blow air out of my cheeks as the craving to taste him blooms into searing pain.
He’s the epitome of male perfection.
Jai’s shirtless body attracts mine like a magnet and I snake my fingers against his chest up behind his head, squeezing his hair in my fists. I yank his head back and latch my mouth to his jaw, moving it down his neck, earning a groan that vibrates my lips. The first taste of his clean skin is incredibly delicious, whipping my hormones into a frenzy. He returns his hands to my backside and pushes and pulls me, grinding my hips into his, his hard length between my thighs.
I slide one of my hands from his hair, down his bare, hard torso, and stop between my legs, where the hem of his sweatpants begins.
“Take them off,” I whisper into his ear, brushing my lips against his lobe.
He sucks in a breath and shifts, moving his hands from my ass to his pants. He lifts his hips as I lift mine, and he pushes his sweatpants down far enough for his cock to spring free, his hot shaft slapping against my hot center. I gasp and roll my hips, sliding myself along the veiny underside of it. I kiss him deeply then, and between my legs, I feel his cock throb with his heartbeat, begging for relief.
I break the kiss with a sigh, moving against him once more, and press my forehead to his. Jai’s eyes are focused on mine and his hands grip me tightly, but he doesn’t take control of how fast or slow I move, so I keep going at my own, tormenting pace…
…until something snaps inside him and he throws me off his hips with a growl, pinning me flat on my back, his powerful body between my legs. Jai traps my hands above my head and shoves himself inside me.
Air is forced from my lungs, my back arches, and a curse tears from my lips, only to be devoured by Jai’s brutal kiss as he slams into me over and over. With his lone free hand, he pulls on my long hair, squeezes my breasts, and pulls my hip. His hand moves so often, I’m dizzied by the onslaught of his touch.
He bites, licks, and sucks at me—all of me—and my pleas for him to slow down and make it last fall on deaf ears. Like all the other times we’ve been together since reconciling after our year of longing and loneliness, he dominates me with his need, his desperation to come. Because of this, he’s beyond restraint, beyond my control, and it’d be a lie if I said I didn’t crave his madness. After a year apart, I crave to feel just how much he missed me both physically and emotionally.
And he shows me.
Always.
Every brutal, unrestrained thrust pushes me closer to the edge, an edge I only want to jump off with him.
Jai lowers his face to my neck and sucks my flesh between his lips, occasionally biting it with his teeth. I fall into a daze, overloaded by sensation with nowhere to go. He pins me down and I can barely move, not even to seek friction against him. The only thing strong enough to pull me out of my stupor is his ragged, raspy voice in my ear. Begging me to stop feeling so good, to stop making him want to come so soon. Each word that leaves his mouth sends spirals of sensation over my scalp. Team that with the fact I’m completely naked and he isn’t, because he couldn’t wait, and I’m good to go.
“Fuck, Kitten,” he gasps, releasing my hands. “You’re so goddamn tight.”
I open my legs wider and slide my free hands under the hem of his sweatpants to grip his firm ass, forcing him deeper inside me, even though he already reaches his hilt with every thrust. I love how he kept his sweatpants on, his shoes too. It shows just how bad he wants me.
I try to hold on as long as he does, but I sink deeper and deeper into the sensations coursing through my body. My entire body clenches. “Jai…”
“Don’t,” he begs. “God, Emily. Don’t.”
Pleasure builds up inside me like a game of Tetris, my breath coming quicker and faster as if I’m rapidly being submerged in freezing water. “Jai…”
Only the water isn’t freezing. It’s hot. Unbearably hot. He clamps a large hand over my mouth to stop his name from leaving my lips, but it does nothing to silence the moans that echo in my throat as my body begins to tremble. Pulses of pleasure spread from my core to the tips of my toes and Jai stills, gritting his jaw, trying to keep my orgasm from me. My orgasm is end game for him. It always has been.
I push my pelvis down, compressing the cushion under my ass, then I push it up, moving myself on his cock.
“Stop,” he orders, his mouth becoming slack as I continue to move my hips, grinding against him.
Jai hangs his head, his forehead to my breasts, but I don’t stop. I can’t stop. His firm hand falters on my mouth and I let a groan out into the air. Moaning, he dips his index finger between my lips. I lick it and suck it, making him shiver.
“I’m gonna come,” he murmurs, his breath hitting my chest.
He lifts his head and gathers my breasts in his grip. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want me to come?”
I nod enthusiastically, rubbing at his ass, at his back. “Yes. Yes, that’s what I want.”
He squeezes my tits tightly and thrusts hard. A single thrust that makes me half gasp, half moan, and he does it again and again, until I’m clawing at his back, arching off the couch, unable to contain the pleasure that explodes inside me as I come.
He follows immediately, his thrusts becoming stilted and shallow. A warmth spreads throughout my womb, a warmth I want to stay and develop into something more, something that’ll bind us together forever.
Jai peppers gentle kisses along my collarbone, his arms trembling as he holds his weight above me. He pauses where my clavicles end in the middle and lifts his head, making eye contact with me. “Are we ever going to get married?”
His question shows me just how in tune we are. While I’m thinking about babies and all I’ll have to do to make it possible—hopefully—he’s thinking about marriage which, I guess, is a good first step toward becoming parents.
“Yes.”
That I know for certain.
“When?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Tomorrow. Next week. Whenever you want.”
He kisses me and it’s soft, his tongue languid and sensual. Until it’s not. I groan as he thrusts his hips, slow ministrations that start off soft against my walls, but then he thickens and thickens, stretching me all over again.
I sigh as he sits back, pulling me into his lap. I rock my hips against him, making his breath hiss.
“Again, Jai?”
“Yes, again.” His kisses my neck. “And again. And again.”
He lifts his head and all I see are his beautiful ocean eyes and heavy lids. All I feel is his heart beating wildly against mine, our bodies entwined like they were always meant to be.
There’s no one else on this planet for me.
There’s only him.