I worked on lunch while Gretchen got dressed. I shuffled around the small kitchen, searing steaks and sautéing vegetables. I put two plates on the table and waited for her to emerge from the bedroom.

I knew I was jumping from hot to cold, but that’s how everything felt. Holding her, making her come undone was the hottest sensation I had ever felt. Knowing I had to leave again, made things come back into a chilly focus.

Gretchen appeared in the doorway.

“Sit.” I pulled a chair for her.

“Looks good. I’m starving.” She smiled.

I sat across from her. Time had slipped away. Lunch had run into dinner. There wasn’t going to be much more time before I had to meet with the two warring families. I needed to get this over with.

We ate quietly while I tried to think about how to explain to her what I was about to tell her. There were no good words. No good excuses. No good stories.

“Doc?”

“Mmmhmm?” She looked up from her steak.

“I need to talk to you. It’s important. And confusing,” I added. “I want to try to say this right.”

“Ok. What is it?”

“You know I have to go back with my Delta team?” Better to phrase things in a concrete way if I could.

She nodded. “You’ve mentioned it several times. You said your mission wasn’t over yet.” She pushed back from the table. “I wish you didn’t have to go back.”

“That’s right. It’s not.” I paused. “Let’s go sit by the fire.” I led her to the living room, where the flames had kicked up.

I pulled her against me on the sofa, loving how her body fit against mine. I kissed the top of her head.

“I need your help, doc.”

She pulled her legs behind her as we stared into the crackling logs. I wished like hell we could talk about anything else.

“What is it?” Her hand pressed against my chest, resting where my heart beat rapidly.

“I haven’t been exactly honest with you.”

“What are you talking about?” She sat forward, her eyes meeting mine.

“You asked me in the shower us…”

She nodded. “I know I shouldn’t have said anything. I probably completely freaked you out.”

“No that’s not it.” I shook my head.

She kept going. “It’s like there is something buzzing in me as if I’m drunk, but I’m completely sober. It sounds stupid, and like I’m in high school.”

I thought it would be easier to tell her. I thought I had been trained enough to handle any situation, but with Gretchen in front of me my world had been turned upside down.

“God, Gretchen. Everything I thought is different now. I want two different things. I need them both. And three days this wasn’t even possible.”

“What are they?” she asked. “What is it, Brett?”

“For the first time in my life, I’ve wanted something I’ve never wanted before. I want to get lost in you. So lost I don’t remember what day it is.”

She smiled. “Me too.”

“But I want to go back to Razastan.”

The smile fell from her lips. “Oh. I didn’t expect that part.”

“I’ve trained my entire life to be a Delta. It’s who I am. At least until I met you it was everything I wanted to be, but you’ve awakened something entirely different in me. A part of me I ran from. The part of me I ignored. The part of me I didn’t want to face, but was waiting for me here in Havenville.”

“What part is that?” she whispered.

“My family responsibility. My legacy.”

Now that the words were out, I had more clarity. I had devoted myself to Special Forces to avoid being responsible. I thought being a part of an elite force of men would be more powerful than what I was needed for here. It would drive me. It would feed me.

But it didn’t compare to the need I had for Gretchen.

“Your what?”

“Doc, don’t try to analyze this. Don’t start digging for medical terms and scientific explanations.” I held her shoulders firmly in his hands. “This isn’t something you can put a label on or find in a text book.”

“I’m confused. What do you mean your legacy?” She shook her head.

“The land that my cabin is on has been in my family for hundreds of years.”

She nodded. “Ok. That’s not hard to understand. You have history here. You told me about your childhood. I love that.”

“It has more to do with money than family memories, unfortunately. This land is very valuable. Worth millions. When my father passed away, he made me sign a contract.” I exhaled. “We had a difficult past. He thought I should stay here and live up to the family name by conserving the land. I wanted to travel the world, and get the hell out of Havenville.”

She nodded again, slowly this time. “Ok. Keep going.”

“He got very sick, it happened quickly. I came home one day to a contract that was included in his will that said to keep the land in our family name, I had to marry...and have a child.”

She froze. I tried to grab her but she wiggled out of my grasp.

“Wait, what?”

“There’s a contract,” I repeated. “It states I need to get married and have a baby.”

“So what exactly are you saying?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

I sighed and put my head in hands. “A long time ago there was feuding with the neighboring families, the Osborns, about whose land was whose. An agreement was made but somehow those families have found out about the contract and since I’m not married…” I trailed off. “They think they have a legal claim to take everything.”

Her face flashed with understanding. “Sine you’re not married, you and your family will lose the land? All of it?”

I nodded. “Yes. All of it. There’s a lawsuit. And the Osborns are taking an expedited case to a judge.”

“It will all be lost?” Her eyes were wide.

“Unless I get married.”

“And have a baby,” she whispered.

“Yes. That too.”

I rose from the couch. I wanted to calm her. I reached for her. “When you told me you couldn’t get pregnant it didn't bother me. There are other ways, you said it yourself.” I didn’t want to tell her seeing how much she cared made me crave more of her.

“Holy shit, Brett. Are you saying you want to get married?”

I shrugged. “Why not?”

“Oh my God. This is happening so fast.” She looked around wildly.

I let her process. She was good with facts. I would just keep giving her those. The more facts she had, the more she could put together a logical chain of events.

“As long as I’m married before I leave for the next mission, I know the court battle will stop.” I paused. “Listen, doc. I might not have been able to leave again for the desert if you were pregnant. I wouldn’t have been able to, but you’re a strong independent woman. I know you can handle another mission. You’ll be fine when I leave.”

“That’s why you like my independence? Because you can’t knock me up? You can leave me here alone?” She sounded hurt.

“Ok, that didn’t come out right. I’m not that big of a dick. It just seemed like the perfect scenario. We can have kids later. When I’m done with Delta. You have the hospital. I have my team. Two separate successful careers.”

Her eyes flared. “How fucking calculated are you?”

“I thought it was honorable, not calculating.”

“Nothing about what you’ve done is honorable.” She raced to the bedroom. I followed her down the hall.

“What are you doing?” I asked,

“I’m grabbing my bag. I will hike out of these woods if I have to.”

“Stop. Gretchen, stop. Maybe my tactics weren’t the best.”

She whipped around. “You’ve been in the desert too long. Have you lost all touch with your humanity? I can take a one-night stand. I can take a fuck buddy. What I can’t take is this. I don’t even know what it is.” Her eyes welled with tears. “What have you done to me?”

I couldn’t take it anymore, I pulled her against my chest, despite her desperate pushes against me.

“I’m sorry. I fucked it all up,” I groaned.

“I’m so mad at you right now.” She sniffed. “I gave you my body. I’ve never done those things with anyone else. You’re a jackass.”

“Ok. I deserve that.” I rubbed her back, drawing her face toward mine. “But please don’t walk out of here. Don’t leave when we just got started.”

“I should.”

“Don’t,” I growled.

“I don’t know if I could.” She shook her head. “My body aches for you.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “I feel the same way. It’s because you’re mine. I’m yours. And you know deep down, doc you want to marry me.”

“I don’t believe any of it.”

I brushed a tear from her cheek. “You will.”

She shoved against me until I had to let go. “I need some space, Brett. I think I should sleep at home tonight. I can’t stay with you. I can’t be near you.”

“Because of the contract or because you know I’m right? You’re going to be my wife.”

“No. I don’t know. Because of all of it.”

“All right. I’ll drive you home. But I want to see you tomorrow.”

“That’s going to be difficult. I have a twelve-hour shift tomorrow and the next three days. I work then go home and collapse. Sometimes I stay at the hospital and sleep.”

“I’ll wait.”

“You will?” She searched my eyes.

“Whether you’re at the hospital, or I’m on a mission we’re always going to find our way back to each other. This is forever, Gretchen. I can wait a few days.”

“I don’t know if that’s going to be enough.”

It wasn’t the time to tell her our timetable was limited. I would give her what she needed now. Maybe it would bring her back to me faster.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.”