Chapter 6
Dory took his arm and walked up the steps to their room. She had made a complete mess of her life. No, her parents had a hand in it as well. Trying to lighten her spirits, she focused on Thomas’s profile. His lips turned up in a satisfied expression. Her gaze had the opposite effect. She shuddered at the thought of giving herself to him or anyone. Not that she didn’t like Tom, she did.
He unlocked the door to their room and gestured for her to precede him inside. Once in, he locked the bolt.
Her heart skipped a beat. She rushed to the opposite side of the room and sat on the chair.
He cocked his head and tugged off his jacket. Placing his fingers between his cravat and throat, he pulled the cloth loose until it hung around his exposed neck. “Dory?”
She met his gaze. “Yes?”
“You know I will not touch you unless you want me to?”
“Yes.” She did know. He was a gentleman and nothing like her father or Hartly. It was the reason she’d chosen him.
“Then why do you look as if I am about to devour you?”
“I don’t know.”
He crossed the room and crouched in front of her with his hands on her knees. “Perhaps it is your own desires and wishes you fear and not mine.”
Once he backed away and sat on the bed she breathed again. “I wonder if you might give me a few moments to change?”
He nodded. “I will send Emily to you.”
“No need. I can manage this dress myself if you will release the hook at the top.” Standing, she pointed to the hook at the back of her gown.
He closed the distance until the heat of him permeated her clothes and warmed her back, buttocks, and legs. She pointed again over her shoulder. “It’s just there.”
“I see.” Light calluses brushed against her shoulder at the edge of the fabric and traced a path across her back. He rubbed her spine with his thumb before pushing her hair aside. His lips touched her neck where it met her shoulders.
“Tom?”
“Is that ‘Tom, stop’ or ‘Tom, that is quite nice’?”
She had to swallow to clear the tightness in her throat. “I hardly know.”
With a low chuckle, he unhooked her gown and stepped back. “Honesty is always best and I thank you for it. I will wait in the hallway until you have changed.”
The moment he shut the door she was at once sorry for his loss and grateful to relax. It seemed like a lifetime since she had a proper bath. She stripped off the gown and washed at the basin. Perhaps she could have a real bath at Kerburghe. That would be wonderful. In the meantime, the soap and water would be a treat after a full day on the road. Once dry, she pulled her nightgown over her head and went to the door.
Her heart pounded. No man had ever seen her in her nightgown. Even her father had not seen her in such a state of undress in ten years. Cracking the door open, she peeked out.
Thomas leaned against the wall, one knee bent with the bottom of his booted foot on the wall. A bit of dark red hair shone through the open tie on his blouse. The cuffs were rolled up, exposing muscular forearms and tanned skin. It was no wonder the mothers of the ton made a fuss over him and were desperate to attach him to their daughters. He looked at his watch and then put it back in his pocket before seeing her at the door.
“You may come back in now.”
A slow smile spread across his face. He pushed off the wall and crossed the hall.
Dory backed away from the door, crossing her arms over her chest. Rather than gawk at him while he undressed, she went to her trunk and retrieved her hairbrush. Once seated at the table, she pulled pins from her hair until it fell in tangles down her back. Sleeping in the carriage had made a mess of it. There was no help for it, so she pulled the brush through, bearing the pain of pulling through knots.
His hand covered hers and removed the brush before clasping her hand.
Looking into his deep blue eyes, she lost her breath. “Is something wrong?”
He’d tugged his blouse from his breeches and removed his boots. Shaking his head, he led her to the bed.
Her heart was about to pound out of her chest. Should she scold him and pull away?
He sat and she did too, facing him. He ran his finger along her jaw. Then he held her shoulders and turned her so that her back was to him. With utmost care, he pulled the brush through her hair from root to tip. When he encountered a snag, he eased the brush better than any lady’s maid.
Heart steady and breathing back to normal, she relaxed and enjoyed the process of his pampering. “However did you learn to do this?”
The brush stilled. His breath was warm on her ear. “This is the first time I have ever done such a thing. Am I adequate to the task?”
Warmth infused her cheeks. “It’s lovely, Tom.”
He resumed brushing in long, smooth strokes. “I love to hear my name on your lips. I hope you do not mind my saying so.”
Goosebumps prickled her skin. “I think if we are to be married you must say what you think and not worry as much about my sensibilities being offended.”
The brushing stopped, his arm wrapped around her waist, and he hauled her back against him. “I think that is where you are wrong, Dory. Your sensibilities, feelings, wants, and needs should be at the forefront of my worries. You have made this arrangement to escape a perilous marriage, but you will be my wife and I want you to be happy.”
Everywhere his body touched hers sparked with fire. She wanted more of him, more of this. Leaning her head back against his shoulder, she breathed him in. “I would like to make you happy as well if that is possible.”
“Of course, it is.” He kissed her temple.
“Maybe.” The derisive way her mother always looked at her father clouded the moment.
“Will you tell me what you want from your life or is that too personal a question?”
“I am sitting in your lap, at an inn, in the middle of the night. What could be more personal?”
“Tell me then, Dory.”
Her name came out of his mouth on a breath. She wished she could bottle the sound. “I want to compose music and play.”
“To what end?”
“What do you mean?” She turned and met his gaze.
“Do you play just for the joy of the music or do you have loftier goals?”
“You are teasing me.” Anger roiled in her gut.
“No. You must have some dreams about where your music might take you.”
“Take me? I am a woman living under his majesty’s rule. Where can it take me? I play for the love of music—any other goal would be fantasy.”
“Put the restrictions of society aside and tell me your wildest dream.”
In all her life, she had never voiced the desire he asked for. She had never told her closest friends or family what her heart yearned for. “You will think me a fool.”
“Never.”
She breathed as if she’d run around the building a few times. “If I could have anything, I would play an original piece for the king and the academy of music. They would see me as a musician and not a woman for one hour in time.”
He smiled and passion filled his eyes. “Now that is a wonderful goal.”
“It’s a foolish dream.”
He shrugged. “Maybe, but I adore that you shared it with me.”
“You are the only person I have ever told. It’s a ridiculous idea.”
Eyes closed, he took in several long breaths. When he looked at her again, fire burned in him. “Not ridiculous at all. I am honored to be in your confidence.”
Her heart expanded so far that it ached inside her, pounding against her breast. “I suppose we should sleep if we are to travel again in the morning.”
Thomas watched and waited for her to say more. When she didn’t, he rose, placed her brush on the table, and turned out the lantern. Only the moon shining in the window gave any light.
Dory braided her hair and climbed under the blanket. Careful not to look at him, she faced the wall and tried to breathe normally. She must be crazy to have imagined she would have more time to get use to the idea of a man in her bed. They were eloping. Of course, he wanted to take advantage of his rights as her husband.
The bed dipped and she gripped the edge to keep from rolling closer to him.
“Dory?” His whisper hung in the darkness.
“Yes, Tom?”
“I wonder if you would permit me to hold you.”
She rolled over.
He sat on the edge of the bed in only his blouse, which hung to mid-thigh. He stared down at the floor, his shoulders slumped. Where was the bold Mr. Wheel who always knew what everyone was thinking and had a witty remark in every situation?
“If you like. I have already told you I will give myself to you.” Her voice shook along with the rest of her.
His eyes filled with so much emotion she had to hold back tears. “I know, and it is a very generous offer, but I think it best to save that particular honor for after we are married.”
“You don’t want me? Then why are you doing all of this?”
Leaning over her with a hand on either side of her, his mouth was an inch from hers. Their breaths mingled. “I have never wanted anything as much as I want you, Dory. Make no mistake. But should you change your mind before we reach Kerburghe and can arrange a marriage, I will not take what is not rightfully mine. I also hope that by that time you will offer with more enthusiasm and less obligation.”
“It is the only thing I have to compensate you, Tom. I know this marriage and scandal is not what you want.” Heart pounding from his nearness, she struggled to get the words out before having to gasp in another breath.
He shook his head looking away. When he refocused on her, a ferocity lingered in his eyes. “If I might just hold you until you sleep, I would be very pleased.”
Her breath shuttered despite her resolve to be brave. “Of course.”
He stared at her, as if attempting to read her thoughts.
As soon as he lifted his arms, she rolled toward the wall.
The bed dipped and rocked until he was under the covers.
When he touched her hip, she flinched.
“I do not suppose promising you I will not ravage you would put you at ease and make you relax.” Tom wrapped his hand around until his palm lay flat against her abdomen then he drew her back to him.
“No, but I appreciate the thought.” This entire scheme was a mistake. She should have stayed at home. Oh, but then, she’d be attending her engagement party in two days. There was no good resolution for her.
His chest was hard and warm and her back fitted against him like they had been designed to match. With his hand around her waist and her head resting on his other arm, he curled his legs in behind hers aligning their bodies.
Trying to relax only made her stiffer and her muscles shook from strain.
“If you trust me just a little, I promise you will be more comfortable.” His whisper tickled the back of her neck and ear.
A trill of energy shot through her and settled between her legs. Was this the excitement Elinor had told her about? She settled into his warm embrace. If he broke his promise, then she would deal with the consequences. “May I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“My mother once told me that my father behaved as he does because men cannot help themselves. I knew it was not true because my brother would never take a mistress. He adored Emma too much. But I had always believed at least part of what she said was true. That it was a grave mistake to allow a man liberties as he would lose his sense of propriety. Was Mother wrong about this as well?”
His chest expanded against her back with a deep breath. “Men and women can both be driven by desire. Some men refuse to control their impulses, but that does not mean they are incapable of using good sense, only that they choose not to.”
“Then my father could control his behavior if he wished?” Did either of her parents ever tell her the truth? She’d been raised on lies. It was no wonder her brother moved to the country and avoided their parents. Her younger brother rarely came home during his breaks from school, preferring to stay with friends. Only she was subject to a constant strand of lies.
“I am sure he could.”
“I see.”
His thumb rubbed just under her breast and he kissed her hair. “I am sorry if that is not what you wanted to hear.”
“I want the truth. It seems my life has had little of it. If you could always be honest no matter the consequence, I would appreciate that very much, Tom.”
“Then you will have it if I may request the same.” He squeezed her and placed another kiss behind her ear. “Everything is going to be all right, Dory. I will take good care of you. I promise you will want for nothing.”
Letting his pledge flow over her, she relaxed, and his muscles yielded as well.
* * * *
Dory woke with a sense of loneliness she’d never experienced before. Alone in the bed, she sat up searching for Tom but found only an empty room. Perhaps he’d come to his senses and rode off in the night. More likely, he had gone down to see to the carriages and given her time to wash and dress.
Orange hues of daybreak filtered in the window and a chill nipped the air. She forced herself to push away the warmth of the covers and brave the chill, which only worsened from washing with cold water. Pulling on a serviceable day-dress, she brushed out the skirts as best she could. Unable to tie the back, she left it open and found a pair of stockings and boots. She placed her nightclothes and gown in the trunk.
A scratch sounded at the door.
“Emily, is that you?”
Emily opened the door. “Good morning, my lady. I thought you might need help dressing.”
“Thank you. I cannot tie the back of this dress properly.”
With a deft hand, Emily laced and tied the dress. “Shall I do your hair?”
“If you can just give it a better braiding and pin it up, that would be sufficient.”
Emily usually chatted about the goings on in the household while she tended to Dory’s hair. Her silence was unusual.
“Is everything all right, Emily? Did you sleep?”
“I am fine. I had a nice clean room for the night. Mr. Wheel’s men were housed above the barn but I was here on the top floor.”
“Good. I am glad it was acceptable.”
Emily tugged Dory’s hair affixing the braid to the crown of her head. “Are you all right?”
Understanding dawned on Dory. “Mr. Wheel was a perfect gentleman. You have no need to worry.”
Placing the last pin in the coil of hair, Emily let out a long breath. “I am so relieved. I worried about you half the night.”
“You may stop, as this was my choice and the alternative is worse by far. Mr. Wheel will be good to me.”
With a nod, Emily smiled. “The men are waiting in the yard for you. Shall I have them collect your things?”
The lap harp rested next to her packed trunk. For the first time in years, she hadn’t played before bed. She always needed an escape into music to clear her mind enough to sleep. Perhaps it was exhaustion that allowed her to sleep without a distraction, or maybe Thomas was distraction enough. She ran her fingers over the strings releasing a soft vibration. “Yes. They can load my things. I am ready to go.”
Mrs. Fine met her at the bottom of the stairs. She handed her a basket. “I have put some bread and cheese in here for you, Madam. I hope you have a safe journey.”
“Thank you. That was most kind of you.”
Mrs. Fine bobbed and lumbered across the common room and into the kitchen.
Dory stepped into the cool morning, gripping her pelisse for warmth.
As if out of the ether, Tom appeared at her side. He took the basket from her and offered his arm. “It will be a fine day for travel, my lady. The sun just needs a chance to warm things up.”
Taking his arm, she let him lead her to the carriage. “I am sure you’re right.”
“I have taken the liberty of having a warm stone placed in the carriage. It should keep you comfortable until the temperature improves.”
“Thank you, Tom.” Would he always think of her needs first? Did her father ever take such fierce care of Margaret? Would Thomas’s affections wither with time? She shook herself. It was not affection, only an agreement they had come to. The man had to marry eventually and she needed help. That was all. Though the memory of his arms around her and his breath on her skin would not fade anytime soon.
She climbed in and waited for the men to load the luggage.
Thomas sat across from her. “The servants’ carriage has been loaded and we shall be underway in a few moments.”
“Do you have a valet?”
“I am a gentleman, Dory. Of course, I have a valet.”
“I am sorry. It’s just that I have not seen him, and your butler in London is, well, unconventional.”
“Porter, my valet, is with Emily in the other carriage and more in line with the ton’s description of a servant. I admit, I have little need for him due to my time on the continent. Crowly is an exception.” Crowly had served the crown, and when his injuries kept him from continuing in that position he’d needed employment. Thomas felt it was the least he could do, and the slight limp was not a problem in his current capacity as butler to a gentleman.
“Crowly was with you in France?”
The carriage jerked into motion.
“He was a soldier.”
“You were not?”
“Not officially, no.” He did not meet her gaze.
“If you would prefer not to speak of this…”
“No. It is not that. I rarely speak of those years.” He sighed and leaned back against the cushion. “Perhaps that is where we all went wrong.”
“Who?”
“Markus, Daniel, Michael and I.”
“Where did you go wrong?”
“When we left university, we went to work for the crown but not as soldiers. Soldiering is honorable. What we did holds no honor. We became spies. Each of us had our own specialty.”
She’d known her brother worked for the government for several years before settling down with Emma. A spy, Markus—she couldn’t imagine it. He was so open. “What was yours?”
“I collected information. Crowly’s assignment was to protect me for several missions. He saved my life when he was injured and rendered unfit for duty. With little skill beyond fighting, he had little chance of survival. Training him as my butler was the least I could do.”
“I find it hard to believe my brother was a spy.”
“But not me.” He laughed.
“I hope you are not offended, Tom. There is an air of mystery surrounding you. You laugh often but it does not always touch your eyes. You watch people more closely than is customary. Markus is not like you.” She held the windowsill as the carriage veered to the left.
“Markus has his own skills and did his duty to our king, but those are his stories and I will not share them.”
“You sound as if you are proud of Markus’s accomplishments but not your own.”
“I have done things I am not proud of. I cannot speak for my friends, but I wish we had never joined up. That kind of life leaves a mark which cannot be erased.”
Her chest tightened. “I am sorry.”
He shrugged. “The choice was my own. I must live with it.”
“I know it is none of my business, Tom, but I am certain that whatever you did was necessary at the time. You are a good man and I do not believe you could ever engage in odious behavior unless it was with good reason and with no other alternatives.”
Staring out the window, he ran his hand through his hair.
Boldly, she crossed to his side of the carriage and wrapped her fingers around his other hand where it rested on his knee.
He looked down at their hands, and then, into her eyes. “I appreciate your confidence.”
Why should holding his hand make her heart beat like a drum? It was silly that gazing into his eyes had her aching to repeat the kisses they’d shared. Honesty was what they had agreed on. “Do you think you might like to kiss me now?”
He cupped her cheek in his palm, lowered his head, and captured her lips.
Warm and wet, he made love to her mouth as if it were the most wondrous candy in all of London. She wanted to be that sweet and opened for him, allowing his tongue entry. It was wicked and wonderful and she touched her tongue to his, drawn into the passion. Clutching his jacket, she hauled herself closer to him.
He pressed her back until she came up against the hard side of the carriage with his chest pressed to hers. His hand slid across the side of her breast and her insides tightened with yearning. He nibbled on her bottom lip, kissed her cheek, her eyelids, her nose, and her lips once more. “You are more than I could have ever hoped for, sweetheart.”
Everywhere he kissed burned with the brand of his lips. The endearment lodged in her heart, leaving an impression she could not ignore. There was no answer to a compliment of that magnitude.
When he sat up, she did too.
He took her hand and threaded his fingers with hers. Such a small gesture, but so comfortable.
She leaned in to his side and found him warmer than the heated brick at her feet. “Thank you for saving me. I do not think I really thanked you, Tom.”
“Your thanks is beside the point. I am getting a far better bargain than you, sweetheart.”
The carriage rumbled along hour after hour. Dory dozed, snacked on the bread, then dozed again. Late in the afternoon they stopped to change horses. Getting out, she breathed in the cool air. It was another inn, but they were only there for the horses. She took a turn around the yard just to stretch her legs.
Thomas ruffled the stable boy’s hair. He spoke to the innkeeper. Handed money over to the man at the barn. With each person, he started a rapport and treated them as an equal. He made no fuss over his wealth as her father might have. Of course, Geoffrey Flammel was an earl, but Dory didn’t think that would matter to Thomas. Even if he were a duke, he would treat everyone like they too were noble.
She let the footman hand her back into the carriage as the horses were harnessed.
Once Thomas had shaken the stableman’s hand, he joined her and they were moving again.
“Tom, are you parents alive?” She knew little about him.
“My father died when I was a young man. My mother remarried and lives in Kent. We can visit her after the wedding if you like.”
Oh dear, his mother would reject her. Any mother would reject a girl ensconced in scandal. “I suppose we should pay our respects.”
He kissed her fingers. “She will love you.”
“Do you have a country house?”
“A small estate in Middlesex. When my mother remarried, I closed the house as it was unused. As a bachelor, I never saw the need and my friends have always been very generous to invite me when I need to get out of town for some fresh air. I have great plans for expansion and farming. I noticed quite a lot that needs doing in the area last time I toured the grounds. I hope to help the village quite a bit. Perhaps we can open the house back up. Would you like that?”
“You need not change your life to suit me. I don’t want to be a burden. I came to you with no dowry or anything to offer and don’t want you to spend your money because of me.”
He turned in his seat to face her. “Dory, I would not have agreed to this marriage if I did not want it. I am very fond of you. Even if you did not know it before, which I suspect you did, you must know it by now. I am not sure what to do to make you believe me in this.”
“I am fond of you too.” Oh lord, why did her voice shake?
“As I have told you before, everything is going to be all right.”
She wished she believed him.
They did not stop to rest when the sun went down. Dory curled against Thomas’s side and slept.