Summer
TIGER DIDN’T SAY anything immediately. He simply lay there on his side, his long, lean body stretched out down the entire length of the bed, his head propped on his hand, his amber gaze pinning me where I sat.
I could hear my heartbeat thumping loudly in my head and again I could feel that irritating cold current of fear. But I was determined. Sure, he might say all those things about taking what you want and not hiding, but it was fine for him. He was a man. He was strong, he took what he wanted, and most of all, he didn’t care what anyone thought of him.
But that was my problem. I did care. I cared way too much. Yes, my dad was difficult and living with him was like living in a house made of glass. You had to be really careful because if you walked too heavily, the floor might crack and shatter under your feet, cutting you to pieces.
I’d learned to walk softly over the years, to not make a fuss. To be invisible when his mood was bad, which since Mom had left was pretty much all the time. But he was all I had. There was my older brother, Justin, but Justin had a violent temper like Dad and often flew into terrible rages. He used to pick on me a lot when I was younger, but then I got the hang of being invisible and so he left me alone.
After a while, they both did. But only because I didn’t rock the boat or cause a fuss. Telling Dad I would be leaving for Silicon Valley whether he liked it or not was definitely causing a fuss, and I was afraid of what he might do. Of what he might say. He’d be angry and I hated his anger. I always had. It made me feel small and weak and powerless.
But what was the use explaining that to Tiger? Of hoping he’d understand? He wasn’t a guy who let anyone’s anger bother him. He just didn’t give a shit. And since I couldn’t explain it to him in a way he’d get and hope he’d help out of the goodness of his heart, I was left with only offering myself in return.
I knew it wasn’t much, but it was all I had.
He said nothing for a long time, simply watching me, and I had to resist the urge to shift around restlessly, because there was something in his eyes that made me hot. That made me aware of the throb between my legs and the tingle of my mouth where he’d kissed me.
But I couldn’t think about what he’d just done to me or about that kiss. God, I could barely deal with the fact I was sitting on his bed and he was still half-naked and only inches away, let alone anything more.
Sure, you can’t deal. That’s why you told him he could do anything he wants to you.
Crap. I was getting myself in deeper and deeper, wasn’t I?
The quilt had slipped down to his waist, leaving a whole lot of hard, sculpted muscle and tanned skin bare, along with the ink of his tattoos. And I had to fight not to drop my gaze to stare at his body.
Except looking at his face wasn’t any better. His eyes glinted and his beautiful mouth curved in a way that made sweat break out all over my body. ‘You’ll let me do whatever I want?’ he asked, his voice low and lazy.
‘Yes.’ It was difficult to say the word, but I forced it out. If that’s what I had to do to get him to hide me, then I would.
The flame in his eyes burned, his smile deepening. As if he knew things I didn’t. ‘Yeah, I don’t think you actually want that.’
‘Why not?’ I felt suddenly irritated at the arrogant way he seemed to think he knew things about me when he didn’t. ‘You have no idea what I want.’
He laughed, the sound so soft and sexy it made the breath catch in my throat. ‘Baby girl, I’m an extremely dirty guy. Telling me I can do whatever I want to you is not something you can handle, believe me.’
I glared at him, my irritation deepening for reasons I couldn’t quite explain. He was right, of course. I probably wouldn’t be able to handle him. But, still, his assumption annoyed me. ‘How do you know? Just because I haven’t had sex before doesn’t mean I can’t handle it.’
‘Sure you can’t. That’s why you pushed Crash away.’
‘Yes, but that’s different. I didn’t want Crash.’
His eyes glinted and I realised with a start what I’d implied.
Oh, shit.
I could feel that damn blush flooding through me and I opened my mouth to tell him that didn’t mean I actually wanted him, but he got in there first.
‘Oh, no, don’t spoil it,’ he said lazily. ‘And don’t try to deny it either. Not that I’d believe you anyway. Not given how wet the front of my jeans still are.’
I kept my mouth closed, feeling like I was going to burst into flames with embarrassment right where I was sitting.
‘It’s not a big surprise anyway,’ Tiger went on in that same lazy tone. ‘I know you want me. You don’t have to pretend otherwise. Didn’t I tell you that’s why you came down here in the first place?’
I wished I could have shrugged and dismissed it, or simply done what I normally do, which was not to say a word either way. Because it felt wrong that he knew what I wanted better than I did myself. Yet I couldn’t seem to keep quiet. ‘You’re really arrogant, you know that?’
‘Yes,’ he said, like it was no big deal. ‘I’m an asshole, too. Anything else you want to add?’
Frustrated, I looked away from him. Perhaps if I was quick, I could slide off the bed and make a break for the door. Then again, that would mean braving the guys in the hallway, and from what Tiger had said about them, perhaps I actually didn’t want to do that.
Better the asshole you knew, right?
‘That doesn’t answer my question,’ I said, changing the subject, determined to get an answer out of him one way or the other. ‘Are you going to hide me or not?’
‘What? In return for letting me do whatever I want to you?’
‘Yes.’ I made the word as definite as I could.
He was silent, his gaze roaming over me in a way that made me acutely conscious of the remains of the pleasure he’d given me, glowing inside me like hot coals, banked yet still burning. ‘I’m risking a lot for you,’ he murmured. ‘A lot of complications. You’re the chief’s daughter and a virgin. A lot of shit will hit the fan if anyone found out.’
‘No one will find out.’ I tried to steady my voice. ‘I promise I won’t tell a soul.’
‘Uh-huh.’ His amber eyes came to mine and held them, heat flickering in them. ‘Okay, then, maybe you got a deal.’
My heart leapt, relief filling me. ‘Oh, that’s great—’
‘On one condition.’
The relief ebbed, trepidation taking its place. ‘What condition?’
‘Tell me you want me. And make me believe it.’
I blinked at him, not expecting it. ‘Excuse me?’
‘I’m thinking you need a couple of lessons in how to be strong. In how to take what you want.’ The flames in his eyes leapt higher. ‘Consider this your first lesson.’
Being strong starts with knowing what you want and fucking taking it...
I swallowed yet again. ‘W-why do you want that?’
‘Because I’m not into virgins. And unlike Crash, I’m not into having sex with girls who don’t want it either.’
‘Well...uh...we don’t have to have sex,’ I pointed out, feeling strangely disappointed in myself for doing so.
‘Gotta get something in return for potentially sacrificing my club for you, baby.’ Another gleam in that stare of his. ‘Though I’m not sure why we’re arguing about this, since you wouldn’t have offered yourself if you hadn’t actually wanted me to take you.’
He’s right and you know it. He knows you want him, too, so what’s the point in hiding it?
That was true. I just hated the vulnerability of having him know, that was the problem. The worry that he might potentially use it against me the way Dad often did. Then again, what else could I do? If I wanted him to hide me, this was the only way. Which meant I had to make it convincing.
Slowly, I shuffled over to him on my knees, and, God, even lying on his side he was intimidating. He looked at me intently, just like the big cat he shared his name with, and because he wasn’t wearing a T-shirt there was nothing to hide the naked physical power of him. It was there in the hard-cut lines of his chest and stomach, and the broad width of his shoulders.
Okay, so how to convince him I wanted him? I lifted my hand to his groin.
‘No,’ he said before I’d even touched him, the hard, flat note in his voice freezing me in place. ‘You think I’m just another cock? That a simple blow job is all it takes to convince me? Think again, baby girl.’
I met his glittering eyes, my heart thumping in my chest. He was angry—I could see that—and I wasn’t sure why. Did it really matter to him whether I wanted this or not?
Of course it matters to him. He wouldn’t have bothered giving you that condition otherwise.
I blinked, the realisation shocking me. I hadn’t thought about him, not once. In fact, the only thing I’d thought about since I’d got here was myself. My fear and my need to hide. My desperation to avoid my dad.
But I’d made things difficult for him, hadn’t I? I’d caused trouble. And asking him to hide me was going to cause him even more trouble.
Then maybe you shouldn’t.
I should. I should woman up and go face my dad. And maybe if I’d been a stronger person, I would have. But I wasn’t a stronger person. I was the woman who crept around not wanting to make a noise, not wanting to draw attention. Who stuck to the corners of the room rather than the centre.
The easy to manipulate target.
I couldn’t stand up to my dad, not yet. But...Tiger had mentioned lessons in strength, and maybe that was worth taking. Maybe it was even worth making myself a little vulnerable for.
I stared at him, looking straight into his golden eyes, knowing he was right. That I hadn’t offered myself to him simply so I could hide from Dad. Because if it had been, then I wouldn’t have shoved Crash away. I would have let him do whatever he wanted to me.
But I hadn’t. I’d let Tiger take me away instead and I had to admit that there was a very good reason for that. He was different. He’d always been different. He wasn’t like any other man I’d met either before or since, and he’d been in my head so damn long I couldn’t get him out.
I did want him. I’d wanted him the moment I’d met him.
I took a slow, silent breath. ‘How do you want me to prove it to you then?’
‘You’re the genius.’ Gold glinted in his gaze, a direct challenge. ‘You figure it out.’
That was all very well if I’d been a genius with any experience, but I wasn’t. I had no experience whatsoever except the orgasm and the kiss Tiger had given me just before.
My heart began to beat faster.
Oh, he was so close. So very, very close. All I had to do to touch him would be to reach out and I could brush fingers across the hard plane of his chest...
My palms felt sweaty, my breathing ragged, nervousness twisting inside me. And he wasn’t giving me any help, simply watching me with that unblinking stare.
I was afraid and I wasn’t quite sure why. Yeah, asking for what I wanted was hard for me, especially when it was often used against me. But I knew Tiger wasn’t the type of guy who’d do that. He wasn’t manipulative and never had been. He was straight-up. Honest. Blunt, yes, and not exactly sensitive. But he wouldn’t hurt me. I’d always known that. Not the way Dad would sometimes hurt me.
So maybe feel the fear and do it anyway?
I took yet another breath, then I lifted my hands, not to make a grab for his groin this time but to cup his face between my shaking palms, his jawline hard and hot and a bit prickly against my skin.
The look in his eyes flared in surprise as I touched him, but he didn’t pull away or say no this time. Instead he simply looked back, his smile gone, the expression in his gaze fierce and challenging. Daring me to make the next move.
So I did.
I bent my head and did what I’d been wanting to do since I was seventeen.
I kissed him.
His mouth was warm under mine and he didn’t move, giving me no response whatsoever. I let my lips linger on his, hoping he’d take charge and show me what to do, since I had absolutely had no idea, but he didn’t. He remained utterly still.
Dammit.
My pulse began to ratchet up, the heat of his skin burning against my palms. I could feel the heat of his bare chest, too, could sense the long length of his body so still and so very close to me.
He smelled so good.
I pressed my mouth harder against his, wanting him to do something, at least give me a hint of what to do next, but he didn’t. Frustrated, I touched my tongue to his lower lip, licking at him, and finally his mouth opened and he let me in.
The taste of him hit me hard, like the kick of the bourbon I’d tried once in college. The alcohol had burned going down, which had been horrible, but then there had been a nice warm feeling in my gut afterwards, leaving my head swimming. This kiss was like both of those combined and none of it was horrible. Absolutely none of it.
I wanted more. It was like I’d discovered a brand-new addictive flavour that I couldn’t get enough of. That I’d been starving for without realising it.
I held him more firmly and slid my tongue deeper into his mouth, exploring him, my whole world narrowing to the incredible heat of him and that raw, alcoholic taste.
My hands slid into his short dark copper-tinted hair, all thick and silky against my fingers, the way I’d always guessed it would be. And... God, he tasted good. I moaned helplessly, deep in my throat, wanting more yet not knowing what more I wanted. All that mattered was that I got more of him.
Except he still wasn’t moving and it was driving me crazy.
Then suddenly I felt his fingers wrap around my wrists and he was pulling my hands from his hair and drawing back from me, leaving me panting and shaking, my lips feeling hot and tingly and my mouth full of his intoxicating flavour.
The amber colour of his eyes had turned into molten gold, gleaming and hot, and I could feel myself begin to catch fire right where I knelt.
‘W-well?’ I asked shakily, my voice thick. ‘Was I convincing enough?’
That beautiful mouth I’d just tasted curved. ‘No.’
‘Tiger—’
‘You can finish convincing me back at my place. Where we’ve got a bit more privacy.’ Abruptly, he let go my wrists and rolled out of bed, reaching for his T-shirt and leather vest, then pausing to put on his boots.
I sat there watching him, my heart pumping furiously, full of the weirdest combination of emotions. Excited. Thrilled. Afraid. Desperate. Angry. Wanting.
I didn’t like it. I’d never been comfortable with extremes of emotion and I didn’t know what to do with all those extremes now. What I wanted was to crawl under the quilt and pretend I was back at home, that I hadn’t come down to the Knights of Ruin’s clubhouse purely on a stupid, cowardly whim.
But it was too late. I was getting myself deeper and deeper into trouble with every passing minute.
Tiger finished with his boots and stood up, glancing down at me, reading me perfectly. ‘Second thoughts?’
I couldn’t deny it. ‘Y-yes.’
He held out his hand to me. ‘Come on. I promise it’ll be okay.’ Then he smiled and just like that, everything fell away.
No one had ever smiled at me like that before, with real warmth, like a ray of sunlight on a midwinter day. It probably meant nothing. Maybe it was simply his normal, average ‘Hi, how are ya?’ smile. But it felt like a kick to the chest, jolting me all the way through.
Sure, it might simply have been because he was going to get laid and that would make any guy smile—or so I’d heard.
But suddenly I didn’t care. He’d given that smile to me. That gorgeous, incredible smile was mine. And I knew I’d do anything to get him to give it to me again.
So I took his hand and let his warm fingers wrap around mine.
And then I let him take me away.