Life Lesson #12: cheating between friends ain’t personal

➸ Yarrow ☆

Clove’s mother was born in a place called the Philippines. I’ve seen pictures of it on the computer and where the country is located on a map, but I have trouble understanding where everything is in connection with where I am now. Miles make no sense to me. All I know is I can’t drive from Arkansas to the Philippines.

Another concept I don’t get is something called heritage. Like Clove wants to decorate her townhome with touches from her Filipino heritage. What that basically means is the fireplace needs brown stones instead of brick, and she bought a lot of brown furniture. Oh, and she likes long bamboo poles with no leaves that stick out of giant planters.

I don’t get why she likes any of this stuff any more than I understand why Pepper and Bay like only black and white décor. One of the first things I ever learned from the crew was that people are different. How they decorate their homes is an example of those differences.

“What’s with the man stank in your place?” Pepper asks Clove before sitting in a chair at the long folding table we use for our weekly card games.

“Glitch was over earlier, moving around furniture.”

I sit between Ginger and Cayenne. Each week, we take turns on who will stay with Duffy during the game. Since Bay can’t drink alcohol because it would make her baby dumb, she volunteers to babysit for the next eight months.

Since Pepper can drink, she sits across from us and pours sake into everyone’s shot glasses. “Is Glitch your personal handyman now?”

“He offered to help, so I let him help.”

“He wants to fuck you, so are you letting him fuck you?”

“Who cares if I am?”

“No, no, nope,” Pepper says, shaking her head. “Why fuck him if you can use his lust to make him your bitch?”

“He’s harmless. In fact, Oz ought to worry about having such a pussy in his club. The guy is about as scary as a puppy bouncing and slobbering all over the place.”

“You’re not wrong,” Ginger says. “Camo and Glitch are like big kids. Vile and Devo have long rap sheets, and I sense they’re afraid of doing anything that’ll get them sent back to prison. Blackjack is the only one with any edge, and now he’s lost his balls to Yarrow.”

“I don’t keep his balls. I give them back once I’m done playing with them.”

The crew instantly reacts to my comment. Pepper and Cayenne “eww” in unison. Ginger fake pukes. Clove, though, gives me a high five.

“Don’t listen to them. You own what you do,” Clove says.

“I’m too old to worry about impressing people.”

“You sound like Blackjack,” Ginger mutters.

“How do you know?”

“Well, that’s not something you would say. For one thing, you’re fucking eighteen.”

“Whatever.”

“That’s the Yarrow I know,” she says and kisses the top of my head.

After the first game goes to Clove, we all take a shot of sake. I hate the taste of alcohol but like how it makes me feel.

Ginger shakes out her blonde hair and sighs. “I can’t get too drunk since Oz and the club boys are copying us tonight. If he’s too drunk, I’ll have to pick him up from Rusty Cage.”

“Have Tana do it,” Clove says. “She’s already babysitting her grandkids. Have her add Oz to the roster of children she must coddle.”

Ginger smiles brightly. “She’ll do it too. Tana’s so excited about moving into her new place. I swear she’ll agree to just about anything right now.”

Pepper deals the next hand, and I can’t tell if what I have is good or not. I quickly fold and watch the others.

“I need advice,” I tell them.

Ginger shakes her head. “If it’s about dicks, I’m not interested.”

“Look at the prude she’s become since getting married,” Clove taunts. “Oz has turned you into an old fucking maid.”

“Did you want to hear about Blackjack’s leaking dick?” Ginger asks Clove.

Cayenne looks horrified. “Why is his dick leaking?”

“I don’t know,” Clove offers. “Maybe he’s excited.”

“He likes me,” I say.

“You are hot so—” Pepper says before ending with a wink.

“It’s not about fucking,” I explain while they keep playing. “It’s about that girl, Annie, and how she keeps hanging around.”

“The stalker,” Pepper mumbles with a cigar between her lips.

“What if she tries to hurt him?”

“Or you,” Ginger says.

Frowning, I throw a peanut at her. “Or him.”

“Or both of you,” Cayenne points out.

“Will she just go away or should I kill her?” I ask.

Pepper sets aside her cigar. “Why can’t Blackjack kill her?”

“He suffers from the same problem as Oz,” Ginger says before I can speak. “Apparently, their mothers raised them well, so they don’t believe in harming women.”

“Sexist bastards,” Cayenne mutters.

Placing both hands on the table to keep from losing my temper, I ask, “What should I do?”

“Hard to tell when we don’t know Annie’s story,” Cayenne explains. “Like does she want Blackjack to apologize to her? Or does she want to hurt him? If she’s obsessed with him, will she think of you as a threat? So many variables.”

“Let’s track her down and have a chat,” Pepper says.

“I want to come.”

“No,” Clove replies, nearly whispering as she checks her cards. “Annie probably knows you and Blackjack are swapping liquids. If she’s into him, seeing you will set her off.”

My hands turn into fists. “If she hurts Blackjack, I want to disembowel her and then strangle her with her intestines.”

“That was pretty specific,” Ginger says. “Have you been thinking about this a lot?”

“Blackjack is the only man I want. If he dies, I’ll be alone forever.”

“You can find someone else,” Ginger says immediately.

“Eat shit.”

“I will not.”

Smiling at Ginger’s irritated expression, I grip a handful of peanuts and rain them down on her. “He’s my forever man.”

“Big talk considering you haven’t even spent the night with him once,” Ginger says while shaking peanuts out of her hair. “You’re far from making things official. I mean, your relationship isn’t much farther along than Clove and Glitch’s.”

Clove downs a shot of sake and shrugs. “Relationships are for old ladies.”

Ginger views her statement as fighting words and makes a move on Clove who doesn’t see her coming. They end up rolling on the floor. Ginger ends up on top, only because Clove drank too many shots of sake before the wrestling began. Despite their entertaining fight, I’m still worried about Annie hurting Blackjack. Everyone’s lack of concern pisses me off, and I didn’t take my Ativan tonight.