I just couldn’t work out why Janie had disappeared from the clinic. I thought she had enjoyed our secret moment together out in the grounds but maybe I was wrong. Did she still bear a grudge against me for the dressing room incident?

It had been so long since I had allowed myself to get close to a woman that I didn’t know what to do. Should I call her or run round to her house to plead with her? Was it time to be patient and wait for her to come to me?

Having tasted her delights I couldn’t just leave it there. When I closed my eyes all I could see was the smooth skin on her thighs I slipped her underwear down, followed by her glorious breasts swaying temptingly in front of me.

She had got under my skin and I didn’t know what to do about it. I canceled the rest of my appointments and went for a drive.

Pavarotti was singing one of my all-time favorite songs. The haunting lyrics talked about looking out at the immense sea and calling out to the person whom he wasn’t sure was even there at the other side. Instinctively, I headed for the sea as well.

It felt good to have the sun on my face again. I headed eventually to the long, sandy beach where I had spent so many hours recently.

It suddenly struck me that my favorite places and pastimes these days were all about being alone. I used to be a very sociable guy but now it seemed that I was becoming a recluse who was trapped in a world that was getting smaller every day.

The arrival of Janie into my life had promised to change all of that but now she was gone. I had been starting to loosen up and laugh more but now I was back to being grumpy and short-tempered again.

Two full days had passed since Heidi had disturbed us in the grounds. I had asked the receptionist and the rest of the staff but no-one knew anything about what Janie had done afterwards. Had my impulsiveness caused me to lose her forever?

Janie’s cell phone was switched off and no-one answered her home phone. Had I come on too strong too quickly for her? Maybe I should have talked to her and soothed her rather than rushing straight onto ripping off her clothes.

I threw a flat stone out onto the calm sea and watched it skip across the surface 4 or 5 times before disappearing out of sight. Going to the beach had always given me the freedom to think but the vastness and mysteries of the ocean tended to cause a sense of melancholy to fall over me as well.

The sun was starting to lower itself into the horizon and I pulled my jacket around me as it began to get chilly. A cruise liner had passed by near to the coast a few minutes ago and its wake was now causing waves to splash up around me with growing intensity.

The expensive leather shoes I had bought in Florence last year were getting wet but I didn’t care. My life had suddenly regained its meaning when I had met Janie but now I was alone and lost again.

The cruise liner was lost in the distance now and I found myself imagining the life of the people on it as they sailed from one city to another. Maybe I had done something similar by drifting through life without putting down any roots.

Sure, I had seen opportunities to get married and settle down come and go. It had just never seemed like I met the right woman at the right time. Not once in my life had I been tempted to look at engagement rings or view the person by my side as a potential life partner.

Maybe I was too demanding on other women, just as I was too demanding on myself at work. I had built a comfortable life for myself and I had always looked for a woman who would slot into it without disturbing it or forcing me to make even the smallest change.

As the last light of the day faded, it became clear to me that I had to change if I wanted to win Janie back. Well, I had no idea if she wanted me to win her back or if I ever truly had her in the first place.

However, I knew that meeting her and falling in love with her – I could finally admit it to myself – had changed my perspective. I didn’t need a woman to add to my life like an accessory or a cherry on top of a cake. Instead, I needed one who would shake me up and make me do different things.

She could add light and laughter to my days, as well as passion.

Was I capable of doing this after a lifetime of feeling in control and of doing whatever I felt was right? I simply didn’t know.

“Lost in your thoughts, eh?”

I barely heard the voice over the sound of the waves. In fact, there was a good chance that the old man walking the dog had been speaking to me for a few minutes and I hadn’t realized.

“Yes, I came here to think alone and it’s working.” Not too subtle but I expected that the message to leave me alone would get through.

The dog walker was now standing still and showed no signs of moving on. We looked out to the dark sea together in silence.

“Woman problems, I would guess.”

I was starting to get irrationally irritated by the man who had disturbed my peace. I was tempted to give a curt reply and walk away but something made me stop.

My mother had once told me that at the lowest points in life someone always appears to help you out. Like an angel in human form or some sort of divine intervention, I guess. All you have to do is open up and let them show you the way forward.

Making a real effort to open up I told the guy that his guess wasn’t far off the mark.

“I knew it. I would recognize that look a mile off. Been through some women problems myself too.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“If I had known then what I know now, eh?”

“What? What do you know now that you didn’t know earlier?”

He shrugged and threw a flat stone out to sea like I had done earlier. The competitive streak in me made me strain my eyes to see if he had got it to skip more than mine.

“To follow my heart, I guess.”

“You didn’t follow your heart? I’m in danger of making the same mistake.”

For just about the first time in my life I was discussing my deepest emotions with a stranger. With anyone. It felt good to show my vulnerable side and look for help.

“I lost her.” He was looking out to sea and was gripping the dog leash more tightly.

“I’m sorry.”

He started walking away across the sand.

“Don’t make the same mistake, buddy.”

I lost sight of him quickly and was soon doubting whether he had even existed. Had a lone dog-walker just opened up to me on his greatest disappointment in life before disappearing into the night?

Maybe I had imagined him and was only thinking about the advice that I knew deep down. It was what I had always known but never acted on, wasn’t it? I had always been too busy playing the part of the rich and successful doctor who didn’t need anyone else when the truth was that I needed someone just as much as anyone else did.

It didn’t really matter. The advice was sound, regardless of whether it was from a stranger or from my own heart.

The only doubt was whether I had the courage to turn it into reality. I was far from sure about this but I sure as heck had to give it a try or I would live to regret it.